chapter 7 - Become truly confident

We will also have true confidence about our own selves if we have wisdom, correct understanding and equanimity, free from lustful desire, greed, cravings and aversions, fear and worries.

Real confidence is when we know exactly what we want and what we are doing, what we can do or cannot do, what we can achieve and cannot achieve, without the attachment towards the actions and the fruit of actions, and without pride and arrogance. It is not affected by judgment of agreements or disagreements, compliments or criticism from other people.

It has nothing to do with our external appearance, our social status in the society, our achievements, our study and accumulation of the knowledge in the world, our qualifications and certifications, our talents and abilities, our wealth or health, or any qualities of names and forms at all.

It is the correct understanding in ourselves that enabling us to keep going in life and keep doing what we are doing with sincerity and determination, whether we are getting any support and encouragement from others, or not, whether other people acknowledge our work, or not, recognize us, or not, praise us, or not, condemn and criticize us, or not.

And we don't do things that we don't really want to do and without sincerity, but then we are doing it in order to get the attention from other people, or to please other people.

There is no harm to do things to please other people and make people happy if we are sincere, and the actions are non-harming towards oneself and others or the environment, even if we don't enjoy doing it.
But it is doing more harm for everyone if we do things that are harmful to oneself and others or the environment in order to please other people to get their attention, support, acknowledgement, praise and compliment or love and affection, or out of any selfish intention and desire.

That is true confidence. It doesn’t change even though everything else is under going changes. It is the ego feeling good or not good if a person self-esteem is based on the judgment from oneself and other people towards the things/actions/the fruit of actions that one does/achieves or doesn't do/achieve.

Of course there is nothing wrong to feel good if we are being kind to others and have attained certain achievements, but not to become proud and arrogant, and always remain humble. Let this sense of happiness come from doing good to be one of the motivations for us to do more good then. Although that is not liberation.

At the beginning we might be not good at doing what we are doing or what we want to do, but determination, perseverance and true confidence will enable us to keep going until one day we are good at it, despite discouragement or criticism coming from some others, especially from the people who we think they are highly important to us, who we love, respect and look up to.

It doesn’t matter what type of judgment and expectation from other people, it is us, ourselves that doing the work, not those people. Be happy even though we have not yet successful in all our pursues.

We might not be successful in what we are doing in the present moment, it doesn’t mean that we will not be successful in the future. Most important is that we keep on trying until the end of the journey, it doesn’t matter how many times we fall down throughout the journey.

So what, if we are not successful according to the worldly standard or point of view, but we had did our best? That is already a great achievement.

At the end, if we can detached from the term ''success'' and ''failure'', give no value to these names and forms, then we will be free from the craving towards success and the aversion towards failure.

We don't need any names and forms to define us as successful or failure in life, but it's to go beyond success and failure.

It is the universal wisdom that free us from being determined by all the duality in this world, free us from the ignorance towards the selfless impermanent modification of the mind, the impure intellect and the selfish ego, remove all kinds of impurities and doubts, that gives us the true confidence.