The yoga asana practice and the sense of pride or low self-esteem

The sense of pride or superiority and the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority is a huge obstacle on the path of yoga, where the mind is being determined by the presence and absence of impermanent qualities of names and forms, and it keeps chasing after the attainment, possession, and identification towards the presence and absence of certain qualities of names and forms that will give rise to the sense of pride or superiority, that needed to be maintained and empowered regularly, as most passionate egoistic minds are being conditioned to think and believe that one must attain and possess certain qualities that will give rise to the sense of pride or superiority, in order to be free from the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority.

The sense of pride/superiority and the sense of low self-esteem/inferiority are the two sides of a coin. They exist together.

The vanish of the sense of pride or superiority will lead to the vanish of low self-esteem or inferiority, simultaneously, and vice versa.

None need the presence of the sense of pride or superiority towards anything, to be existing, to be living, to be happy, to be peaceful, to be free, and to be constantly improving in this world. While the presence of the sense of pride or superiority a.k.a. the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority gives rise to many unnecessary 'troubles' in one's life, particularly in one's relationship and interaction with some others.

The mind that is being over-powered by the sense of pride will feel being offended or annoyed easily by certain teachings and practices of yoga that the mind dislikes and disagrees with, as well as upon coming in contact with certain affairs and interactions with some others that appeared to be unpleasant, disagreeable, and undesirable to the mind. It wants and expects the yoga practice or the yoga classes as well as all and everything to be in certain way that it prefers, desires, likes, and agrees with.

Certain kind of physically and mentally demanding intense yoga asana practice is existing and suitable for the mind that is being over-powered by the sense of pride or superiority a.k.a. the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority. 

The prideful ego will be hammered repeatedly by the more and more challenging yoga asana poses or sequences, that has no limit of higher and higher degree of difficulty and complexity, upon attaining certain degrees of enhancement and achievement in the yoga asana practice, where the mind will eventually be 'humbled' by such limitless practice. Such as, in the beginning one couldn't do even one push up, but then after some time having developed certain degrees of strength and stamina, the body can do 10 push ups consecutively, and it makes the mind feels good and confident or superior about itself, and then, the mind is highly motivated and expects the body to be able to do 20, 30, 40, or 50 consecutive push ups, then, 75, then 100, then 150 push ups, and so on. However, if the mind doesn't develop the basic correct understanding towards the teachings of yoga or the means of the yoga practice, it will only be focusing on continuously challenging the body and mind beyond its limitation until the body and mind suffers unnecessary injuries, regardless of how long and how much the mind has been practicing such yoga asana practice, or regardless of how fit, strong, and flexible is the physical body becoming, because there is never ending of higher and higher degree of difficulty and complexity in such yoga asana practice.

Being able to do 200 or more two arms, or one arm, or two fingers, or one finger consecutive push ups, or being able to perform many physically and mentally demanding complex yoga asana poses and/or sequences, and the mind is highly focus or attentive while performing all these physically and mentally demanding physical activities or yoga practices, is irrelevant to whether the mind is free from ignorance and the by-products and the consequences of ignorance, or not.

The mind that is being over-powered by the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority might feel being intimidated by certain teachings and practices of yoga that appeared to be challenging, unfamiliar, and unease to the body and mind, as well as it would feel being intimidated by and envy towards the physical and mental condition, ability, performance, progression, and achievement of some others that appeared to be 'better' or 'more superior' than oneself. However, at the same time, it's also because of the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority, such mind will be feeling good and confident or superior about itself upon the presence of certain enhancement in the physical and mental condition, ability, performance, and achievement, upon being able to perform certain yoga asana poses or sequences that it couldn't perform in the beginning, that it couldn't be able to perform comfortably and effortlessly. And hence, it is being motivated to keep practicing regularly in order to attain higher and higher enhancement, ability, performance, and achievement in the yoga asana practice, so that it can keep feeling good and confident or superior about itself.

That is not liberation at all.

Such minds would feel greatly disturbed, disappointed, and frustrated, if for some reasons, the persistent regular yoga asana practice is being disrupted by someone or something, or upon the absence of further improvement or higher ability and achievement, or upon the presence of declination in the physical and mental condition, ability, performance, and achievement in the yoga asana practice, either due to disruption in the regular practice, or illness, or injury, or decay, or weakness, or old age, or any unforeseen circumstances.

Upon the prideful ego is being hammered repeatedly by the challenging intense yoga asana practice that has no limit of higher and higher degree of difficulty and complexity until the body and mind ceased functioning and existing, the mind might either becoming more prideful for being able to do and achieve this or that by pushing the body and mind beyond its limitation as much as it can, regardless of whether there is the presence or absence of unnecessary injuries, or, it might be 'humbled' by such intense physical and mental demanding yoga asana practice, as well as be 'humbled' by the truth of impermanence, where the mind will start to think and acknowledge, "I am humbled by this intense yoga asana practice and the truth of impermanence of this physical body. I will now be humble and modest, as no matter how good I am or how good the physical condition can be, and no matter how much I can do and achieve with this enhanced physical and mental condition and ability, there will always be something else that I still can't do or achieve (yet), and this physical body is inevitably constantly changing and decaying. I don't need to push the body and mind beyond its limitation that hurt the body and mind in order for me to feel good and confident or superior." Note that this realization is not the end of the yoga practice, but it's the beginning of the path of self-inquiry and self-realization.

There is still the idea of 'I' or the ego, existing in the mind being humbled by the intense yoga asana practice that has no limit of higher and higher degree of difficulty and complexity, as well as acknowledging and identifying as, "I am humbled, and I am a humble and modest being, devoid of pride or superiority."

There is no 'I' existing to be 'humbled' and to be acknowledging and identifying as a 'humble and modest being, devoid of pride or superiority', upon self-realization towards the truth of selflessness. There is neither pride nor humbleness, neither superiority nor inferiority.

Similarly, the physical and mental demanding yoga asana practice might be rendering the mind focusing within, calm, and quiet, not being disturbed or affected by the external names and forms during those moments of concentration focusing within onto the breath, or the point of focus/attention/awareness (Drishti), or the position and movement, that gives rise to conditional peace that is impermanent, where the mind is acknowledging and identifying as, "I am focused within. I am not being disturbed or affected by the external names and forms. I am calmed and quiet. I am peaceful." But all these are conditional and impermanent.

If without self-inquiry, if without working on freeing the mind from the veil of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, and impurities, all those impermanent moments of concentration/focus/attentiveness and the state of calmness and quietness (a.k.a. conditional peace) don't necessarily mean that the mind is liberated from ignorance and suffering, as if without eradicating the idea of 'I', ignorance, and egoism from the modification of the mind, the mind will still be disturbed and affected by the mind perception of names and forms outside those moments of focusing within, calm and quiet state of the mind that is conditional and impermanent, and hence, it might still act and react in the way that could be harmful to oneself and/or others and the surrounding environment, either intentionally or unintentionally, under the influence of ignorance, egoism, impurities, and the disturbed/agitated state of mind, or under the absence of correct understanding.

No doubt that by engaging in such physically and mentally demanding intense yoga asana practice, the senses or the organs of the senses are being withdraw from the world of names and forms, to allow the mind to be focusing within, and hence, the mind is rendered to be in a state of attentiveness, calmness, and quietness, being undisturbed by the external names and forms during those moments of withdrawing the senses, but that is also impermanent. It's not the end of the practice.

It's like if the senses are being withdraw turning inward focusing within, where the mind doesn't perceive, or doesn't see, or doesn't hear, or doesn't smell, or doesn't taste, or doesn't touch, or doesn't feel, or doesn't think about any names and forms that appeared to be either distracting or disturbing to the mind, and hence, the mind won't feel being disturbed, and will be in a state of calmness and quietness. That is not liberation.

Liberation is upon the mind isn't being determined, or distracted, or disturbed by the perceived names and forms being what they are, under the presence of correct understanding, upon the absence of egoistic attachment, identification, craving, aversion, comparison, judgment, and expectation. It's not about don't see, don't hear, don't smell, don't taste, don't touch, don't feel, and don't think about anything that appeared to be distracting or disturbing to the mind, so that the mind won't be distracted or disturbed. That's why the minds that don't work on the annihilation of the idea of 'I' and egoism might feel good, calm, and peaceful by moving the mind away from what it thinks and believes is distracting or disturbing, but then the mind wouldn't feel good, calm, or peaceful anymore once they go back to 'everyday life existence' as it is, as they are being distracted or disturbed by what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, feel, and think. It's not liberation.

That is also why the teachings of yoga emphasized on continuously extending or expanding the duration of holding the different yoga asana for as long as possible, or holding the breath for as long as possible, or maintaining the concentration/focus/attentiveness, or the calm and quiet undisturbed state of the mind for as long as possible, that have no limit of duration, and that are conditional and impermanent, so that the mind will spend most of its existence, energy, attention, and effort onto the regular practice, and hence, will spend less energy, attention, and effort onto something else that might be harmful to oneself and/or others and the surrounding environment, but it doesn't necessary mean that the mind is free from ignorance or the by-products and the consequences of ignorance.

And that is totally okay as well, particularly upon the realization towards the truth of selflessness.

The important thing is that the ignorant passionate egoistic impure minds that are still under the influence of ignorance and its by-products, but were being rendered focus, calm and quiet through the intense regular physical and mental yoga practice, even if it's conditional and impermanent, that needs to be maintained regularly through engaging in certain action or practice, but at least, they are not generating or are generating less unnecessary ignorant harmful actions and reactions unto oneself, others, and the surrounding environment, within those impermanent moments of focusing onto performing the yoga practice, focusing within, attentiveness, calmness, and quietness (the momentary undisturbed state of mind that is conditional and impermanent), while still existing and functioning momentarily in this space of the universe that doesn't belong to anyone or anything.

Even so, the complete annihilation of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness, or the attainment of self-realization via self-inquiry towards what is 'I', is still upmost important, if possible, where the mind is no longer being determined or influenced by the impermanent imperfect states of the mind or the impermanent imperfect effects of the yoga/concentration/meditation practice, being undisturbed or unaffected by the mind perception of names and forms beyond the impermanent states of the mind, regardless of performing or not performing certain yoga/concentration/meditation practice, in action or inaction, transcending the impermanent selfless existence and function of the mind, resting in unconditional peace unconditionally while the selfless impermanent body and mind is still functioning and existing.

There are different types of yoga students/practitioners/enthusiasts that are similar to the different types of wood. The dry wood can be ignited easily, and the slightly wet wood can be ignited after spending certain period of time to be undergoing the process of drying under the right conditions, while the highly wet wood can never be ignited if it stays wet, even after spending certain period of time undergoing the process of drying, but for some reasons, it keeps getting wet, or it isn't getting dried properly under the right conditions.

The minds that are being over-powered by the sense of pride or superiority/the sense of low self-esteem or inferiority are similar to the wet wood that keeps getting wet, or is not getting dried properly under the right conditions. The physically and mentally demanding type of intense yoga asana practice is most suitable for these minds, as it makes the mind feels good/confident/superior about itself whenever there is some improvement or achievement in the challenging yoga asana practice.

The minds that are not being over-powered by the sense of pride or low self-esteem, however, they are still under the influence of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness, are similar to the slightly wet wood that needs to go through the process of getting dried for a certain period of time (the mind purification process).

The minds that are devoid of the sense of pride/superiority or the sense of low self-esteem/inferiority as well as some other impurities, but somehow, there is still the idea of 'I' existing in the mind due to the veil of ignorance, are similar to the dry wood that doesn't need to go through any kind of drying process at all. These minds don't need to be spending much energy and effort into any kind of yoga practice, not to say, in certain physically and mentally demanding type of intense yoga asana practice, in order to be performing self-inquiry, and attaining direct self-realization towards the truth of selflessness. As unconditional peace, compassion, self-inquiry, and self-realization, or the liberation from ignorance and suffering, is not being determined by the degrees of health and fitness, strength and flexibility, as well as the selfless impermanent effects, benefits, improvements, abilities, performances, and achievements of performing the yoga asana practice and/or any other forms of yoga practice regularly.

The minds that are devoid of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness, they are resting in unconditional peace, as they are. Any kind of yoga/concentration/meditation practice or self-inquiry, is irrelevant or useless to them.

Out of ignorance and egoism, some minds might perceive this as a form of criticism, discrimination, comparison, or judgment. That's their freedom of thinking and understanding.

This is not a form of criticism, discrimination, comparison, or judgment at all, but merely about things or the teachings and practices being what they are. The highly wet wood can also be ignited upon getting dried effectively under the right conditions. Meanwhile, even the dry wood might somehow get wet under certain conditions, and hence, it needed to go through the process of drying (performing certain yoga/concentration/meditation practice).

If the mind still thinks, acknowledges, and identifies as, "I am humbled. I am now humble and devoid of pride," upon the realization towards the truth of impermanence, then know that this mind still need to keep practicing and keep inquiring towards the truth of selflessness, or 'I'lessness, or egolessness.

Inquire the truth of everything.