No expectation - Selfless actions

We want to practice compassion and wisdom, but we cannot expect other people also will be practicing compassion and wisdom, and get frustrated with people who don't practice compassion and wisdom...

We want to give love, care and support to other people, but we cannot expect other people to do the same and give us love, care and support in return, and get angry and frustrated when we don't get the love, care and support that we expected...

We want to be nice and compassionate towards other beings, but we cannot expect other beings will also be nice and compassionate towards us, and get angry and frustrated when other people aren't nice and aren't compassionate towards us...

Nobody is obligated to be nice and compassionate towards anybody. But out of our own will or conscience, we are being nice and compassionate towards all beings including our own self is also one of the beings. Be nice and compassionate towards our own self as well...

We will be angry or frustrated if we have expectation that other people should be nice and compassionate towards ourselves and other beings...

People are being nice and compassionate out of their own wish and conscience, not because we expect them to be nice and compassionate...

Just give and let go.

Be selfless (ego-less) like the sun, the air, the water, the earth and the space.

No attachment, no intention, no expectation, no discrimination...

If we have "good" intention behind our good will and good deeds, and we attach to our actions of being good and compassionate towards other people, having the attachment that we are doing something good, having "good" intention that other people will be receiving something good from us, having expectation that other people will be benefited from our good actions and will be grateful and thankful for our good actions, then we will be so disappointed and frustrated when things turn out not the way that we expected or the way that we think it should be...

Selfless actions or compassionate actions, whether being done for the well-being of our own self or for other beings, are without the influence of likes and dislikes that come from the ego, without attachment, without intention, without expectation, without discrimination...

Let go of that "good" intention as well and be free...

We do good and not doing bad, but we cannot expect other people will also be doing good and not doing bad...

Why do we allow ourselves to be hurt and upset, by being attached and disturbed by what other people do and don't do?

We cannot be angry with other people who cannot help us when we need help, because nobody is obligated to give help to anybody. If somebody wants to help us, it is out of compassion and their own free will, not because they are obliged to give us help when we need one...

Nobody and nothing disappoint us but our own expectation that creates the disappointment in us towards everyone and everything...

Practice compassion and give, but without expectation that other people will also be like us...

Be free. Be happy.

Non-dualism => no craving, no aversion => contentment & true happiness

When the mind perceives happiness or unhappiness, it's about whether the mind can go beyond the mind perception of dualism and the impermanent changes of all the qualities of names and forms, and be free from ignorance and egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation, or not.

When the mind is under the influence of ignorance and egoism, there is the existence of an identification with the mind, the body and the worldly self-image as 'I', and there's attachment towards the mind perception of the duality of good and bad, positive and negative, auspiciousness and inauspiciousness, happiness and unhappiness, pleasurable enjoyment and suffering, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, and from there arise the desire of craving and aversion towards all the perceived names and forms (of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches/sensations and thoughts.)

The perception of happiness and unhappiness or contentment and discontentment in the impure egoistic mind is determined by the gratification or non-gratification of the desire of craving and aversion. 

There is only a fine "line" between being happy and being unhappy. If we can "erase" that separation "line" with wisdom or correct knowledge, we (the thinking mind) will realize that there is no difference between the two extremities. The mind is just what it is. It is neither happy nor unhappy. It doesn't need to be happy or shouldn't be unhappy. Happiness and unhappiness are impermanent and they derive from the mind attaching onto names and forms which have no intention or quality to be good or bad, to be positive or negative, to give us pleasure or suffering. True happiness is beyond the mind perception of happiness and unhappiness that comes from how the mind reacts towards the qualities of names and forms.

We will stop categorize things/objects or happenings into good or bad, pleasurable enjoyment or suffering. We'll stop longing for happiness or rejecting unhappiness. We will stop craving for something being perceived as "good" and stop rejecting something being perceived as "bad". That's where the true contentment and confidence, unlimited and unconditional peacefulness and happiness are.

People come for attending some yoga retreats or yoga classes in search for happiness or hoping and expecting that "yoga classes" or "yoga retreats" or "yoga teachers" can or will give them happiness or make them happy or chase away their unhappiness. But they will be very disappointed because "yoga classes" or "yoga retreats" or "yoga teachers" cannot make these desires come true. This is because true happiness or peacefulness is coming from within when the mind is being free from the ego and egoism (attachment, identification, craving and aversion, expectation, selfishness, pride and arrogance) and not by looking outward expecting something "good" from the external to give us happiness or to make us happy or to make unhappiness disappears.

As long as we (who we think we are) still need to rely or depend on certain qualities of name and form, such like having good relationship and friendship with others, having a supportive family and like-minded community, doing the things that we enjoy doing, achieving what we want to achieve, receiving love, affection, companionship, acknowledgement, praise and compliment, or even performing yoga practice to give us peacefulness or to make us feel good about ourselves (the idea of 'I' and 'my life existence'), we will be disappointed because it won't satisfy our craving/longing for happiness or good feelings, unless the mind is able to be free from an individual identification of the idea of 'I' or the ego and stop chasing after all the transitory names and forms to give us momentary satisfaction or happiness (which is the fundamental yoga practice every moment, dealing with the modification of this mind and the ego, in daily life experiences.)

Yoga practice (asana, pranayama, chanting, kriyas, concentration and meditation) might generate momentary peacefulness and calmness in the mind, but this state of peacefulness and calmness is subject to impermanence and is conditional. The mind won't be at peace anymore if we don't do any external yoga practice. We will feel bad/frustrated/depressed/meaningless when we don't do any yoga practice, because there is an identification with the body and the mind which is subject to impermanence under the influence of selfless energy and elements (which can be influenced by the practice of asana, pranayama, chanting, kriyas, concentration and meditation practice to render it calm and quiet.)

Yoga is when the mind realizing selflessness of being free from the identification with the body and the modification of the mind, that is under the influence of energy and elements to be existing and functioning. Which also means that there is no 'I' existing being disturbed/affected/determined by the forever changing condition of the body and the mind which is influenced by energy and elements, as well as all the mind perception of names and forms through the senses. Yoga practice is there to help the mind to purify the impurities in the mind, balancing the energy field in the body and calming the mind, to allow the mind to see the truth as it is, being free from desire of craving and aversion, being able to allow the perceived reality to be what it is regardless of whether the reality is pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable to the thinking mind, to prepare the mind for deeper meditation into silence (the annihilation of the modification of the mind (disappearance of duality that derives from the mind perception of names and forms.)

If there's no identification with the body and the mind as 'I', then no matter the body and mind is being in a positive or negative condition (surrounded by what the mind perceives as positive or negative people and environment), it won't affect/determine/change the unconditional peace of selflessness (the practice of Pratyahara - Withdrawing the senses from the sense objects, being unaffected or undisturbed by sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches/sensations and thoughts). We can be with people who have a very negative state of mind but we are not being affected or influenced by them. Instead, we can help them by uplifting them without being disturbed by their negativity and there's no attachment towards the action and the result of the action (selfless and compassionate action.)

Go beyond the craving for happiness/pleasantness/agreement and the aversion towards unhappiness/unpleasantness/disagreement, and stop identifying with the body and the mind as 'I', and true happiness or unconditional peace (which is not subject to the state of the mind or the condition of the body) is here and always here. It never disappears nor fades away. It doesn't increase or decrease. It is not affected by all the good and bad or happy and unhappy experiences that the mind perceives through the senses via the sense organs of the physical body.

*Some people are still being disturbed very much by the past bad or unhappy experiences, and continuously being unhappy and have fear in the present moment now, and will want to know how to be able to be free from the past unhappy memories that keep disturbing us physically/mentally/emotionally at this present moment now even though those unhappy happenings are already gone or don't exist anymore.

The simple way is to know why we couldn't let go of the past. Most people couldn't let go of the past unhappy happenings is because they cannot forgive themselves for being incapable to avoid/prevent such happenings, or they can't forgive those whom the mind thinks and believes as the ones who had inflicted or are related to the unhappy happenings that they experienced in the past.

Practice loving kindness and compassion towards oneself and what the mind perceives as 'other beings'. Be forgiving. Forgive ourselves and other beings whom had intentionally or unintentionally had caused us painful and unhappy experiences. Learn to accept the reality of the past as it is, not necessary the way that we would like it to be. Accept that we cannot change the past or undo it. Forgive everyone including what the mind thinks is the imperfect self, and accept that all beings are imperfect and none can please anybody, neither can everybody please us the way that we desire it to be. This will allow us (the thinking mind) to be able to let go of the past unhappy memories and move on in this impermanent and selfless life existence without being disturbed or determined by the past good and bad or happy and unhappy experiences.

Live at the present moment now, and have gratitude and appreciation towards all the "good" and "bad" experiences that we've been through which serve as training ground for us (the ignorant impure egoistic thinking mind) to realize compassion and selflessness (the path of yoga or self-realization), is the path towards true freedom, true confidence and true happiness.

Forgive and let go...