Why does my family has to suffer so much even though they are
really good and kind-hearted people? They don’t do bad things and they
have helped many people whom they know and don’t know from the past
until the present. They give and give without discrimination and never
expect gratefulness or rewards in return for the kindness and
friendliness they shown to others, or from those who receive kindness
and friendliness from them. Friends and relatives and strangers took
advantage of my family’s kindness and friendliness, until they got
themselves into lots of unnecessary problems and troubles where everyone
in the family is affected physically, mentally, emotionally and
financially.
Why did my childhood best friend kill herself even though she had
everything she ever wanted? She came from a wealthy family background. She was
intelligent, highly educated and knowledgeable. She had a high paid job
and was financially independent. She had a wide social network, friends
and family in her life. She did all the activities that she liked to do
and went for holidays in places that she liked to go. She also had her
childhood dream came true about having her own children as the greatest
achievement and happiness in life.
It’s because happiness and freedom from suffering is nothing to do
with being good and kind-hearted, or do good and don’t do bad, or
attaining high level of education and accumulating knowledge, or having
high income and success in career, or having dreams come true and
achieving whatever we want to achieve that we think it will make us
happy, or give us happiness.
Education and knowledge might provide the useful information, facts
and skills for people to do something in life to live and survive and
interact with other beings in this world, and to build a society with
all the high-tech conveniences coming from the latest technologies,
engineering and inventions. They might help to improve quality of life
and influence our way of life and conduct. But receiving education and
accumulating knowledge as well as different types of qualifications and certifications doesn’t guarantee that the mind will be free from
ignorance, confusion, corrupted thinking and selfishness, or know how
to make wise decisions, or won’t behave selfishly and ignorantly, or
won’t experience suffering and unhappiness.
Educated people are not necessarily be free from dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, feelings of hurt, and fear, or won't be engaging in immoral conducts and violent behavior. There's no guarantee that those who have been receiving education on morality will uphold morality. It's a personal awareness and conscience with self-control and self-restraint that one would refrain oneself from engaging in immoral conducts or activities.
For example, there are laws in some countries that would punish
convicted thieves by cutting off their hand(s). The risk of getting
their hands cut off will not stop the thieves from committing theft,
although if the thieves are caught and prosecuted under those laws, it
might be physically challenging for them to commit theft again without
their hands. But, there are thieves that don't need to perform theft at
the scene personally, or with their hands physically, and theft are
still existing everywhere and anytime. With their hands cut off under
those laws might let them experience inconvenience in everyday life in
return for their actions of stealing, just like how they cause
financial, physical, mental and emotional damages and inconvenience to
those whom they steal from, but it doesn't necessarily remove greed from
their minds, or stop them from stealing again and again. Those who
disagree with inhumane treatment or physical punishment for criminal say
that people needs to receive proper education to reduce crime rate in
the society. But receiving proper education on 'Do good and don't do
bad' doesn't necessarily will remove ignorance, greed, desires of
craving and aversion, and the urge to cheat and steal from the criminal
minds. Meanwhile, all kinds of inhumane treatment and physical
punishment also don't guarantee that the criminals would be free from
ignorance and won't commit crime again and again.
Living in the world of many ignorant minds that generate all kinds of
stupidities in the society intentionally and unintentionally, we might feel frustrated and annoyed by
many things that are not in our control to be the way that how we would
like it to be. We feel angry or disturbed by some thinking and behavior
that are contradicted with our thinking and belief about what is right
and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, appropriateness
and inappropriateness.
We think we are more intelligent than other people that we can change the world or the society to be the way that we
think how it should be. The more we try to change the world to be the way
that we want it to be, the more frustrated and disappointed we become.
It's because none can change another being's ignorant behavior. None can
free another being from ignorance. Studying under the greatest teacher in
the world and receiving all kinds of worldly knowledge also doesn't
guarantee that one will be free from ignorance and suffering. One can
only change and improve oneself, and free oneself from ignorance through
one's effort of persistent self-discipline, self-control,
self-awareness, self-inquiry and self-realization.
The cause of suffering and unhappiness is ignorance. Ignorance is not
knowing the truth of life existence, or what we think is who we are. Suffering,
and the freedom from suffering is unrelated to whether we think we are good
or not, knowledgeable or not, well-educated or not, religious or not,
spiritual or not, well-cultured or not, and believing in God existence
or not.
By learning, knowing and gathering lots of information, facts and
skills about this and that doesn’t mean that the mind is free from
ignorance. We can be highly educated and knowledgeable about many things
in the world that we live in, we can read and write and speak many
different languages, we can be kind-hearted, friendly and sociable, we
can be doing many good actions and not doing anything that we believe as
bad actions, we can be very talented and creative, but because of
ignorance, we might still be determined, disturbed and affected by what
we see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think, whether it’s something that
we like or dislike, agree or disagree with, and we experience suffering of
unhappiness, grief, frustration, irritation, depression,
discontentment, disappointment, greed, anger, hatred, jealousy, pride,
feelings of hurt, guilt, regret, animosity, humiliation, insult,
ill-thinking, ill-will, doubt, fear and worry.
Knowing how to build a beautiful and practically functional house
doesn’t guarantee one and those who live in the house will be
peaceful and happy. Knowing how to save lives through advanced
medical skills and effective medicines doesn’t guarantee one and those whose lives
were saved will be free from ignorance, unhappiness and suffering. Those
who perform charity and those who receive charity also doesn’t mean
that they will be free from feelings of hurt, anger, jealousy,
discontentment, disappointment, fear and worry, and be peaceful and
happy.
It doesn’t matter who we think we are, or what we are, we will
experience suffering and restlessness if the mind is functioning under
the influence of ignorance.
Ignorance brings along egoism, attachment, identification, desires of
craving and aversion, and all sorts of impurities which is why we
experience suffering and restlessness. It is nothing to do with whether
our lives, or the world, is the way that we think it should be, or not.
It doesn’t matter what kind of social status we think we have in the
society, and what we know or don’t know, our minds constantly react
towards all the perception of names and forms through the senses of what
we see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think,
reasoning and judging everything based on the conditional thinking and belief in the mind under the
influence of ignorance. Suffering and restlessness is the responsibility
of the mind itself for being ignorant towards the truth of names and forms,
when it generates attachment, identification, craving and aversion towards all the
impermanent names and forms that it perceives, or comes in contact with.
Whenever the mind comes in contact with the objects of names and
forms that it likes and agrees with, it generates clinging and craving
towards them. Whenever the mind comes in contact with the objects of
names and forms that it dislikes and disagrees with, it generates
aversion towards them. When the desire of craving and aversion is not being
gratified – when it is getting what it doesn’t like and doesn’t want;
when it doesn’t get what it likes and wants; when it is losing what it
likes and wants, the mind reacts with all sorts of impurities like
dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, animosity, feelings of hurt,
fear, worry, and so on. The mind is suffering from its own reactions of
impurities.
By learning how to free the mind from ignorance and impurities, and
attaining the knowledge of life through mind purification, self-inquiry and self-realization, will lead us to unconditional peace and
happiness, regardless of what is the condition of our lives and the
situation of the world we live in. We will have peace and be happy as we
are, undetermined by the impermanent changes of names and forms, pleasant
and unpleasant experiences, and different types of thinking and behavior that
our minds agree or disagree with. We adjust ourselves to adapt and accommodate any life conditions and
situations, and not expecting life to change into something that can
accommodate all our desires of craving and aversion.
If the mind is under the influence of ignorance and egoism, and
generates attachment, identification, craving and aversion towards all
the impermanent qualities of names and forms to be identifying as ‘I’ and ‘my life’,
then even though everything might be the way that we like it to be, or nothing
is the way that we don’t like it to be, our minds will still be
restless and anxious if there is attachment towards what we like and
don’t like, as we will have fear towards losing the things that we like and
want, and we don’t want the things that we like and want to change into
something that we don’t like and don’t want, even when they are not
happening or don’t exist in the present moment. There is fear towards old age, sickness, separation from our loved ones, coming in contact with the people, objects and events that we don't like and disagree with, not getting what we want, losing what we like, getting what we don't want, disability, and death. And everything will
change and pass away, whether we like it, or not.
It is the awareness of being able to see the truth of things as it is
and allowing the truth to be what it is, and being free from egoism,
attachment, identification, craving and aversion and all sorts of
impurities, that allow the mind to be in peace, regardless of all the
impermanent changes that are happening ceaselessly inside and outside
this body and mind, which are not in the control of ‘I’ to be the way
that how ‘I’ would like it to be. The body and mind depends on so many
elements to be existing and functioning, they don’t belong to ‘I’, as there is no 'I', not
to say all the pleasant and unpleasant experiences perceived through the
senses.
We make use of the existing knowledge, information, facts, skills,
talents and creativity that we have to perform actions that we think and
believe would be beneficial to ourselves and the society, but without
attachment towards our actions and the results of our actions. We are
not determined by our actions and the results of our actions to be who
we are. We just do our best for what we think is the best, and allow the
world to evolve in its own way and rhythm.
Freedom from ignorance, egoism, attachment, identification, craving
and aversion is the real freedom of unconditional peace and happiness beyond all the
impermanent qualities of names and forms.
The world is just what it is. It is neither good nor bad, neither
positive nor negative, neither a happy place nor a suffering place. It’s
how the mind reacts towards all the names and forms that
it perceives through the senses that generates the ignorance of duality,
personal identity and separateness. All sorts of fear and anxieties
arise from duality, personal identity and separateness. It’s not because
of the names and forms that we perceive or experience are being bad, or
wrong, or negative, or unhappiness, that generates restlessness and
suffering in us. The attachment, the identification and the desires of
craving and aversion towards all the names and forms that the mind
believes as good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative,
happiness and unhappiness, is the real cause of suffering.
Suffering exists as long as the mind is under the influence of
ignorance. Suffering doesn’t exist when the mind is free from ignorance.
Freedom of the mind is beyond the freedom of thinking, actions and
speech in the society, or beyond any physical and mental limitations. We
might be restricted by some forms of physical and mental limitations,
and are unable to think, or do, or say what we would like to think, or
do, or say in our personal life, or in the society, but it doesn’t stop
us to achieve freedom of unconditional peace.
There is a saying of “Do what will make us happy” circulating in the
world of social media. Somehow, freedom to do whatever we like to do
that we think will make us happy, is not the real freedom, as we won't be happy if we are unable to do what we like to do that will make us feel happy. There are
people who find happiness, or enjoyment, or excitement in performing
actions that would hurt themselves and/or other beings, whether intentionally or
unintentionally. The more they hurt themselves and/or others, the more excited and satisfying they feel, even if it's just momentarily. That's not freedom.
May all be free.
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