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May all find the teacher within to guide oneself towards unconditional love and peace

Saturday, January 11, 2014

How to free ourselves from being trapped in painful sorrow and hurtful feelings...

Forgive, forget, compassion, meditation, being in the present moment now...

Forgive ourselves, as it is our own responsibility for allowing our mind being in the state of painful sorrow and feel hurt. Forgive others, who might intentionally or unintentionally generate actions or speech that inflict painful sorrow and hurt to our mind.

Forgiveness needs to be followed by forgetting. Forgive and forget, by letting go, or not attached to the past experiences whether pleasant or unpleasant experiences. No craving or clinging onto the pleasant experiences that we liked. No aversion towards the unpleasant experiences that we disliked.

To be able to forgive and forget, we need to be able to be compassionate towards all beings. Being compassionate towards ourselves means we stop hurting ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally by letting go of anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear, worry, hurtful feelings, painful sorrow, anxieties, expectation, and etc. When we know how to be compassionate towards ourselves, naturally we are being compassionate towards other beings, as we won't intentionally generate any hurtful thoughts, actions and speech towards other beings when ourselves is at peace, being free from all kinds of impurities and negativities.

Meditate regularly to train the mind to be in the present moment now. Meditate by simply observing the natural incoming and outgoing breath. Allow the breath to be what it is, without judgment, comparison or expectation. Be free from being determined or influenced by pleasant and unpleasant past memories or experiences. Be free from being influenced by future anticipations, imaginations, speculations, hopes and expectations. Be free from craving and clinging onto the pleasant experiences, and be free from aversion towards the unpleasant experiences. Eventually the mind will be in the present moment now, naturally and effortlessly, be free from craving and aversion.

When the mind is free from the past and the future which doesn't exist at all in the reality of the present moment now, being free from craving and aversion, the mind will be free from all sorts of disturbance, affliction, painful sorrow, hurtful feelings, doubts, anxieties, dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear and worry. The mind is at peace.

It is not what is happening or what had happened that is/was unpleasant which cause us to experience painful sorrow or hurt. It is the untrained or impure mind that has generated all these painful sorrow and hurtful feelings in the mind itself when the mind comes in contact with the reality that it doesn't like, and when it doesn't come in contact with the reality that it likes. The mind endlessly tricks or deceives itself. It feels upset or unhappy because the reality is not the way that it likes it to be. We are fooled by our own mind.

As pleasant and unpleasant feelings arise due to the reactions in the mind towards past experiences or memories that it liked and disliked. Memories (past experiences) are a bunch of rapid moving images projected in the mind based on whatever the mind comes in contact with through the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body sensation and thinking faculty. When there is attachment, we get caught in the stream of all these images, thinking that they are one piece of 'something' that has the good and bad quality that we like and dislike, and will either gives us happiness or unhappiness. When there is no attachment towards all these images, these images are just countless images arising and passing away in the mind. They have no power nor intention to give happiness or unhappiness.

If we know how to keep the mind to be in the present moment now, or to be in the state of meditation, there's no attachment towards whatever that is happening right now, not to say whatever that had happened in the past, whether these pleasant or unpleasant experiences are something that we like or dislike, agree and disagree with. As everything that the mind is experiencing now, are just countless images arising and passing away. They have no particular meanings or qualities to be something happy or suffering, nor to give us happiness or suffering.

When there is no attachment towards whatever the mind perceives through the senses, there is no need to practice forgiveness nor to forget anything, as there is nothing there for us to forgive and forget. All experiences are just impermanent images in the mind arising and passing away.

Unpleasant memories of the past unpleasant experiences might continue to reappear in the mind from time to time, but they no longer determine or influence the mind to feel unhappy. This is real forgetting. It is free from continuing being determined or influenced by past pleasant or unpleasant experiences for how the mind feels in the present moment now. It doesn't mean that we completely don't remember anything that we experienced in the past, or deleting all our memories of past experiences.

It is the craving and aversion towards certain meanings or qualities that the mind projects onto the names and forms, that cause itself to feel happy or unhappy based on whether the mind comes in contact with the reality that it likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want.

Wake up from this delusion, and be free.

It is not about changing the reality that we don't like and disagree with into something that we like and can agree with. It is allowing the reality to be what it is, even if it is not pleasant, it is not something that we like nor can agree with.

Om shanti.

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Know thyself. There is no existence of 'I'. Everything is impermanent. Be free, be peaceful, be happy.

Om shanti

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Pantai Cenang, Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
My husband and I run ongoing yoga retreats in Langkawi Malaysia. We teach traditional Hatha Yoga - a combination of Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breathing techniques) and relaxation, that has given benefit to millions of practitioners over thousands of years. Our yoga studio is situated in Langkawi. We also run yoga retreats in Europe and India.

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