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Sunday, June 23, 2019

Ego, more than self-esteem, self-worth, pride and arrogance

In the world, 'ego' is mostly being interpreted as the quality of a prideful ambitious overly confident high self-esteemed and self-centered person who thinks and believes oneself possesses certain qualities or achievements that one and others would be proud of and should deserve respect, appreciation, acknowledgement, or glorification.

When people say, "He/She has a big/bad ego," usually it refers to this is a proud and arrogant self-centered, self-obsessed, or overly confident and ambitious person that boasts and glorifies about one's contributions or achievements.

When people say, "He/She doesn't have an ego or he/she has a small/good ego," usually it refers to this is a down to earth, humble and unselfish person, who keeps quiet about one's contributions and achievements.

'Ego', is more than the reflection of self-esteem, self-worth, pride and arrogance of a person under the teachings of yoga and Buddhism. It's not a quality to reflect whether a person is being arrogant and self-centered or being humble and non self-centered.

'Ego', is an idea of 'I' derived from ignorance and exists in the form of a continuous stream of thought-current in the thinking mind, that feeds on egoism, attached onto and identifies with certain qualities of names and forms to be existing as an individual being experiencing life, either enjoying pleasant/desirable/agreeable/joyful experiences or suffering unpleasant/undesirable/disagreeable/painful experiences, identifies as 'the perceiver that perceives/experiences/thinks/feels' and 'the perceived names and forms of perceptions/experiences/thinking/feelings' as well as 'the performer of actions' and 'the receiver of the fruit of actions', who desires and doesn't desire, who agrees and disagrees, who fights and protects, who enjoys and suffers. It appears to be existing and real due to ignorance.

The ego exists and identifies/acknowledges itself as 'I am good' or 'I am bad', 'I know' or 'I don't know', 'I am confident' and 'I am not confident', 'I like, agree and desire' or 'I don't like, don't agree and don't desire', 'I deserve' or 'I don't deserve', 'I am proud' or 'I am humble', 'I am happy' or 'I am unhappy', 'I am positive' or 'I am negative', 'I am meaningful' and 'I am meaningless', 'I enjoy' or 'I suffer', 'I am selfish' or 'I am unselfish', 'I am highly confident, ambitious and self-centered' or 'I am non confident, non ambitious and non self-centered', and etc.

The end of yoga or Buddhism practice, is upon the annihilation of the modification of the mind or restless thought-currents, when the veil of ignorance vanished, where the mind sees itself as it is, attaining Self-realization, or knowing thyself, or knowing who 'I' am, where the annihilation of the ego/the idea of 'I', or the realization of selflessness/egolessness/'I'lessness takes place, transcending 'the wheel of births and deaths of the egoistic impure consciousness powered by ignorance and the by-products of ignorance that generates ceaseless cause and effect/good and bad karma that feeds the loop of births and deaths of ignorance and the by-products of that', 'returning' to oneness, non-separateness, namelessness, formlessness, attributelessness, birthlessness, deathlessness, void of/untouched by cause and effect/good or bad karma/merits and virtues.

It's not about trying to be as 'good' as possible, where a 'soul/mind' will be judged as a 'good or bad soul/mind' upon the death of the physical body based on accumulated virtues and merits or good/bad karma, either to be sent to 'heaven' or 'hell' or 'somewhere in between', or to be reborn into respective higher or lower realm of beings experiencing life existence via the mind perceiving pleasant/unpleasant names and forms through the senses that are all subject to impermanence and selflessness, to be continuously 'ignorantly'/'helplessly'/'unwittingly' generating further ceaseless good/bad actions along with the consequences of actions, or cause and effect, or good/bad karma, that keeps fueling the wheel of restless births and deaths (restless transitions of life existence reaping the fruit of good/bad actions) that is subject to impermanence and selflessness, regardless of good or bad, desirable or undesirable, enjoyable or sufferable transitions.

Forgo the momentary 'pleasantness', 'happiness', 'meaningfulness' or 'goodness' of a conditional fleeting worldly life existence of restless selfless transitions. Even so called 'heaven' or 'higher realms' are impermanent transitions reaping the fruit of 'good' actions. It's not liberation at all. Know thyself, the beginningless and endless infinite silent witness of all impermanent and selfless transitions.

The ego constant acts and reacts to create a condition or a world that 'I' desires, based on the endless desire of craving (What I want) and aversion (What I don't want). The silent witness neither act or react nor there's an 'I' aspiring/desiring to create a condition or a world that 'I' desires. There's neither "I will be or I am missing all the people of family and friends, or names and forms of the objects of the senses/qualities/conditions/things/actions/enjoyments/pets/places/realms/world that I love very much." where only the very few dispassionate ones can go beyond all the worldly connections/relationships/names and forms transcending all kinds of worldly social/cultural/spiritual/religious thinking and belief, actions and achievements (the fruit of actions).

"The knowledge of the Self, or Self-realization, or the annihilation of the mind, or Samadhi, is the only way to be free from the wheel of births and deaths." as taught by Swami Sivananda.

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