True confidence

Many people talk about 'empowerment', particularly 'women empowerment'.

When people talk about 'women empowerment', they talk about 'confidence'.

However, many people think and believe that confidence is highly related to one's family background, education level, accumulated knowledge, talent, skill, abilities, aspirations, experiences, achievements, contributions, acknowledgements, recognition, attractiveness, appearance, self-image, profession, title, financial status, social status, social circle, relationship with everyone, communication skill, language proficiency, health and fitness level, and etc, that is influencing and determining whether someone is confident, or not.

The thinking and belief about "I am confident because I am this, I have that, I experienced this and that, I did this and that, I achieved this and that, I know this and that, I can do this and that, I am being recognized and acknowledged by this and that, and etc," is merely conditional confidence, or good feeling and pride towards oneself, that is being determined by the presence and absence of certain qualities of names and forms in oneself, to be confident, or not, and to feel good and prideful about oneself, or not.

Under conditional confidence, when people introduce themselves to other people, they will tell or boast as much information about all kinds of qualities of names and forms that they possess and accumulated, which they identifying with and attaching onto, which they feel pleased and proud of, which they think and believe that other people will also be pleased and amazed by all those qualities of names and forms that they identifying with as 'This is me' or 'This is who and what I am'. They try very hard to obtain attention, compliment, liking, agreement and acknowledgement from other people, which will boost their conditional confidence upon receiving attention, compliment, liking, agreement and acknowledgement from other people. They need to be acknowledged by other people as "A confident person."

Such beings, or minds, or people, will be satisfied, confident and happy, and they will love/like themselves, upon the presence and absence of such and such qualities of names and forms in them, while they will be dissatisfied, disappointed, not confident and unhappy about themselves, and they don't love/like themselves, if there is the presence and absence of certain qualities of names and forms in themselves. It's the same as when they deal with other people in their life, and how they feel about other people. They don't know how to love and accept other people as they are. They will only love/like other people under certain conditions that they like, desire and agree with, and vice versa.

In yoga, it's about true confidence, that is unconditioned by the qualities of names and forms, that is undetermined by actions and the fruit of actions.

The one who is truly confident, there's needless to be identifying as "I am confident or highly confident," not to say, "I am confident because I am ......"

The one who is truly confident, doesn't attaching onto or identifying with any qualities of names and forms to be 'This is me' or 'This is who and what I am'.

They might not know everything or many things, they might have certain abilities and limitations, certain strength and weakness, and they know what is their ability and limitation, strength and weakness, what they can achieve and cannot achieve, what they want and don't want, and more importantly, they know how to accept all kinds of qualities of names and forms as they are, all kinds of abilities and limitations as they are, without being determined by all kinds of names and forms, abilities and limitations, achievements and non-achievements in themselves, to be confident, or not, to feel good about themselves, or not. They don't need to introduce themselves to other people, or to the world, about "This is who and what I am with such and such qualities of names and forms." And, they know how to love and accept themselves as they are, accepting all their strength and weakness, while working towards constant improvement in themselves and doing their best to achieve what they want to achieve in life, effortlessly without forcing or hurting themselves, and more importantly, without attaching onto or identifying with all kinds of improvements or achievements. They don't need to feel proud about themselves, and they don't need other people to feel proud about them. They don't need to be receiving attention, compliment, liking, agreement and acknowledgement from other people, to be confident, or to be more confident.

When one accepts and loves oneself as one is, one is naturally confident from within, effortlessly.

Such beings, or minds, or people, they know how to accept and love all and everyone as they are. They can be performing many selfless actions that can help to bring more peace and harmony into the world, either intentionally or unintentionally, without being determined by the fruit of actions to be who they are, to be confident, or not, to feel good, positive, happy and meaningful, or not.

Those who are naturally confident from within unconditionally, they don't blind-believing, blind-following, blind-practicing or blind-propagating anything. They would consider and inquire towards the truth of all kinds of advice from other people, and taking the constructive advice, while leaving the non-constructive advice. They are not being intimidated or influenced by other people's strong presence. They allow other people to apply judgment coming from their own point of view, but they are not being determined or affected by other people's judgment about them and everything, regardless of whether it's compliment or criticism. They are free from comparison or competition with others, knowing that everyone are being different from one another having their own particular ability and limitation, strength and weakness, even when they are participating in certain competitions, just by being themselves and doing their best. Winning or not winning a competition doesn't determine or change the unconditional confidence from within. Success and failure doesn't exist in the minds that are free from egoism of attachment, identification and expectation. It's merely whether something is possible or not possible in the present moment.

Those who are naturally confident from within, being undetermined by any qualities of names and forms, they are effortlessly confident as they are, without trying very hard to be confident or stay confident. They don't need to keep telling themselves that "I am confident. I believe in myself. I can do it," to constantly reassuring and validating themselves are 'a confident person'.

Confidence or determination has nothing to do with aggressiveness, however, many people would relate aggressiveness with confidence or determination, thinking that someone who is being aggressive towards pursuing one's ambitions is due to high confidence and determination, while someone who is non-aggressive towards pursuing one's ambitions is due to lack of confidence or determination.

It's not about "I am super confident towards myself, that I can do and achieve anything that I desire. For me, anything is possible. There is no impossibility in me. I will work very hard to make sure this body and mind be equipped with the essential qualities to be able to do and achieve everything that I want to do and achieve. Nobody and nothing can stop me from achieving all my aspirations and desires. I have strong determination. If someone or something is hindering me from achieving my aspirations and desires, I'll fight and defeat them at all costs."

It's about "Knowing what this body and mind can do and cannot do, and what they can achieve and cannot achieve, in this present moment. I make use of certain opportunity and possibility that is available now. And it's okay, if certain opportunity are not available, and there are certain impossibility in this present moment now. I won't force or hurt this body and mind in order to achieve all my aspirations and desires, and I won't want to hurt anyone and anything that prevent me from achieving something that I aspire and desire. Determination doesn't mean that hurting myself or others in order to achieve success in everything that I pursue. I accept and love this body and mind as they are. I accept and love myself as I am. I respect desirable and undesirable experiences, as they are, but they can't determine me for being who and what I am."

For the mind that is free from egoism, "It's just selfless impermanent names and forms, of different qualities, opportunities, possibilities and impossibilities arising, changing and passing away in this present moment. Either making use of the qualities, opportunities and possibilities that are available in this present moment to be doing something that is possible now, or maybe not. It doesn't matter. While respecting the absence of certain qualities and opportunities, or what is impossible now. And all are impermanent."