chapter 22 - Looking for love?

There’s a saying, ‘the stronger the love (passionate) is the stronger the hate is.’

If the love is selfless and pure, then there shall be no hate at all.

The stronger the craving we have towards something, and so is the stronger the aversion towards the opposite of what we crave for.

When we have love in ourselves, we don’t need to seek love from outside. We also can share this unconditional love with others. However, whether others want to appreciate and be grateful for that, or not, it's the freedom of themselves. It is only when we don’t have love in ourselves or don’t know how to love ourselves, we will have intense desire of wanting to be loved (love from our parents, from our children, from our partner, from our friends, from the society, from the leader, from the authority, from animals, from plants, from nature, from the universe, from the superior entity) and this craving for love is never contented, we always wish for more, or wanting the love to be the way that we want it to be.

And if we didn't get the love that we want from the people who we expect them to love us, we will generate disappointment, anger and hatred towards these people.

Even though we already have family and lots of friends in our life, we will still be feeling lonely and the love is never enough.

And this will bring unhappiness to ourselves and to the people who are trying to love us. It makes it difficult for others to love us. It is because there is lack of love in ourselves.

If we have love in ourselves, we will not feel lonely even though we are alone without any body around us in life, because we are the love itself, and everything out there are not separated from us, and every living being whether we know them or not, are not separated from us. There are no ‘I’ nor ‘others’, no 'friend' nor ‘not my friend’, no 'family' nor ‘ not my family’, no 'stranger' nor 'not stranger'.

Relationship doesn’t exist to him, if he is one with everything. We will be self contained and contented if we realized this. We will not hate anybody or dislike anything, even if we disagree with someone or something, and we don't have to love all and everything passionately, but we can be compassionate towards all and everyone, indiscriminately and unconditionally.

Everything is love and compassion.

If we are a selfish person, we can never love other people, because we love our own feelings of likes and dislikes more than anything else. How can we tell someone ‘I love you so much’ when our own feelings and desires is more important than the person we loved?

We will be so upset if this person didn’t meet our criteria of likes and dislikes, and not able to satisfy our needs and wants.

We will have complaints like these, ‘why are you like that?’, ‘why don’t you do this?’, ‘why do you treat me this way?’ or ‘I want you to treat me like that’… It doesn’t matter if they are our parents, children, lover, friends and not friends.