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May all find the teacher within to guide oneself towards unconditional love and peace

Sunday, February 7, 2010

About Acceptance



Some people are confused about acceptance and letting go means giving up and not striving our best effort in anything. This is a huge confusion. It is normal for the arising of confusion towards many words and terms for their original or true meanings. Because many people have different interpretation of words and terms. And also different levels of understanding and different mentality will bring different translations for many things in life.

People who are negative will interprete almost everything negatively. While positive mind people will interprete the same things positively. Everything has both negative side and positive side. It depends on us which side that we want to see it and take it. Either it will make us feel better or worst.

But yoga and Buddhism teach us to let go both negative and positive qualities, see beyond all the names and forms, and accept everything as it is. Not having any judgments, comparisons, criticism and expectations. Not trying to interfere with the law of karma and impermanence. Accept the Truth as it is provided if we know the Truth of things. We can’t say anything to those who can’t see the Truth of things and ask them to accept things as it is. This will cause them more confusion, irritation and frustration.

The acceptance that we want to practice here is about give our best effort in any pursues but do not attach to the result. It also means renounce the fruit of our actions.

When we sincerely and honestly want to do something, we do our best without any expectations. It is like when we build the road for the convenience of other people to use the road, we don’t mind if people are grateful or not, showing appreciation or not, and it is not our responsibility if the road is damaged or some accidents happen due to the cause of nature or man’s fault.

We accept ourselves as we are, accept the forever changing condition of the physical body and the mind. Know that any feelings whether they are good or bad, they are very momentary, transitory and will disappear sooner or later. If we attached to any of these feelings that keep arising and passing away in our mind, we will be mad – sometimes getting very excited and sometimes getting very depressed. And from one mood can change to another mood very regularly – mood swing. But know that this is something very normal and common that is happening to almost everyone except those who know how to not attach to all these feelings and do not react to them. For this is a normal habit of all the minds of everyone, we need to accept this phenomena as it is, and not generating more negativity. But if we have the awareness of what is going on in the mind, we practice non-attachment and self-control to avoid doing something stupid that will hurt other people and ourselves. For those who have no awareness of what is going on in the mind and identify with the mind, and react towards the condition of the mind, then there is nothing we can do about it but to accept them as they are. Be compassionate towards all beings especially the beings that are suffering due to unaware of their own mind and forgive their reactions that are hurtful and selfish.

We need to accept the imperfection in us and in everyone as living beings being limited and conditioned by the impermanence and law of karma. We stop judging ourselves and others. We stop comparing ourselves with others or with our own self in the past. We stop having expectation towards others and our own self. Because we know that the condition of the body and the mind is forever changing not the same anymore. We can’t even judge ourselves and compare ourselves now with the past experience, how can we judge others and compare with other people?

We accept other people as they are and accept everyone for being imperfect as well under the circumstances of life existence.

We can’t please everybody in this world of many individuals with different types of understanding and mentality.

If we can’t let go the past and can’t accept what had already happened, and keep holding on to the past experiences and feelings, we are creating suffering for ourselves. It is not the unhappy happenings or the people that involved in the happenings that make us suffer. It is our own self had attached to all the happenings and couldn’t let go, and couldn’t accept the truth about something that had already happened and we can’t go back to the past to undo what had happened, nor can we preserve something that was very happy and beautiful, that is making us suffer now and will continue to suffer.

Acceptance is not separated from letting go. Letting go is acceptance. Acceptance and letting go is something that happens at the present moment now. We are letting go all the good and bad thoughts, feelings and sensations at this present moment now, from moment to moment. We do not attach to the past memories that come up to the surface. It is very good that these old supressed feelings come up to the surface. If we can stay detached and let them go, it is a very good purification process. It clears up a lot of “rubbish” and “burden” in our heart. We will become lighter and lighter.

Maybe yesterday I felt sad when I thought about something in the past, but that was already the past also. Now, at this present moment, all the thoughts and feelings (whether they are arising from the past memories or from what is happening now), we just be aware, watch them arising and passing away without paying any attention to them, not giving any values or meanings to them, not generating any reactions towards them and let them go.

If we can let go whatever that is happening from moment to moment and accept everything as it is, not resisting or fighting against the law of karma and impermanence, surrender ourselves for the nature to take care of everything, we will not have any fears and worries anymore. We will not have irritation, frustration, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, arrogance, disappointment and unhappiness.

To accept that at this present moment now, this is what my body can do and cannot do. Accept that this is the ability of my physical body, and this is the condition of my body and the mind at this present moment now, without any judgments or expectations, and not to compare with others or with our own past experience. Be very comfortable with our own self, the body and the mind. If we cannot be comfortable with our own self and are very unhappy with the body and the mind, we are creating suffering for ourselves.

To accept that all my past experiences and happenings in life (whether happy or unhappy, right or wrong, good or bad) had already gone, it is the past already.

To accept that I have done my very best in all my pursues but whatever the results are, is not in my control. I can aim my bow and arrow towards the target, and shoot the arrow with full attention and effort, but whatever happens after that, either the arrow hits the target or a bird just happen to fly by and being hit by the arrow, it is not my responsibility anymore. Or maybe the strong wind blew the arrow to the side and missed the target, or the target fell onto the ground before the arrow hits it. We can feel sorry and compassionate towards that poor bird, but we cannot blame ourselves for that accident. It is nobody’s fault. Not the shooter, not the arrow, not the wind and not the bird. It is not our intention at all and it just happens due to a karmic reason why it happens during that time and at that place.

To accept that we all are imperfect and we cannot please everyone at the same time.

To accept that we all have to go through impermanence – birth, growth, decay, old age, illness, pain and death towards this physical body. But our true nature is not affected by impermanence and is forever exist without any qualities of name and form, and is beyond birth and death.

To accept that all minds are changing all the time, we cannot have judgment or expectation towards our own self or towards other people. Because our body and the mind will not be the same anymore from time to time.

To accept that whatever in the past had already gone and the future doesn’t really exist at all in this present moment now. We cannot hold on to the past or the future. We can only be at the present moment now, from moment to moment. Or else we will be creating lots of tensions, unhappiness, disharmony, disappoinment, frustration, fears and worries in ourselves.

To accept that there is no body in this world of life existence including all the saints and sages can avoid impermanence. We have no choice but to let go when impermanence strikes, and be grateful and happy while we are still here able to enjoy and experience so many things and to learn what is selflessness and non-attachment with this conditioned body, the mind and the senses.

To accept the truth as it is, accept everything as it is, accept everyone as they are, accept ourselves as we are. We can do our best for the benefits of everyone and the world, but we need to accept the law of karma and impermanence which is governing all the happenings in the world and in other people’s lives. We can only control and change our own karma but we cannot interfere or change other people’s karma.

Since we only have a presumable limited life span, very limited youth and strong body, why not we make good use of this life, its youth and good health to do meaningful things that will benefit all, let go all the unhappiness and discrimination, and be happy? Why do we waste our time and effort in meaningless arguments, conflicts, complaints, gossips, slanderings, harmful activities, wars, killings, hatred, depression and unhappiness? Many people who are very frustrated, angry and negative will not care about others because they are already very unhappy in life. We should be compassionate towards them and not being angry and frustrated about it. But we all can put aside our own problems and unhappiness, and dedicate our time and effort to benefit others. And this will really remove all our unhappiness and negativity. By being unhappy and negative all the time cannot remove the unhappiness and negativity in us but will increase them day by day. And by giving and sharing with others (loving kindness and compassion) without attachment to the fruit of actions, will remove all the sadness, selfishness and negativity in us.

May all beings be happy.

1 comment:

  1. Inspiring Meng, thank you very much. Forwarded the link of this blog to a true friend who might find it inspiring too. TY. Love, Anne

    ReplyDelete

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Know thyself. There is no existence of 'I'. Everything is impermanent. Be free, be peaceful, be happy.

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Pantai Cenang, Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
My husband and I run ongoing yoga retreats in Langkawi Malaysia. We teach traditional Hatha Yoga - a combination of Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breathing techniques) and relaxation, that has given benefit to millions of practitioners over thousands of years. Our yoga studio is situated in Langkawi. We also run yoga retreats in Europe and India.

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