In certain social and cultural thinking, belief, values and practice, people are being taught about the benefits of making as many friends as possible, while making as less enemies as possible, in order to make life easier and less difficult.
The parents told the young children, "At home, you depend on family. Outside, at school, at work place, in career, in business, in social status and wealth, you depend on friends and connections."
The main intention and aspiration for building and expanding one's social connections and personal friends circle, is about getting as much love, care, help and support as possible, while getting as less obstacles and hardships as possible, in order to be advancing and attaining higher and higher success in one's life, career, business, status, or wealth.
People have the idea and values of "Friends are being there to be caring, loving, helping and supporting one another physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, especially during difficult times, where it will make life more easy and less difficult."
'Personal friends' or 'social connections' are being seen as one of the important assets that one should be accumulating and appreciating in order to be successful, joyful and meaningful in life.
People are being conditioned to think and believe that, "Having very few friends, or not having many friends in one's life, or not having any personal friends at all, to be playing, enjoying and sharing life with, or to be supporting and interacting with physically, mentally and emotionally, is something terrible and miserable, bad and wrong. Where one's life is doomed to be lonely, dulled, sad, joyless and meaningless, if without many or any personal friends, or life is doomed to be more hard, miserable and suffering, if without many or any social connections."
The sense of self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, success, positiveness and meaningfulness that doesn't need to be there in any human beings, is very much being determined by the quantity and quality of the personal friends circle and the social connections or social networking. Many people spend a lot of time and effort performing certain actions in order to be pleasing some others for getting the liking and acceptance, to be making friendship or building social connection with some others.
Some people who don't have spouse or children, or don't want to have spouse or children will be comforting themselves or be consoled by others, "I (You) don't have spouse or children, but at least, I (you) have many friends." Most people cannot understand that how come someone can be alone by oneself, and still be peaceful and happy, free from loneliness or self-pity.
Similarly, in certain worldly spiritual, religious and political thinking, belief, values and practice, making as many connections, members, followers, supporters and contributors as possible, in order to achieve certain selfish desire, aspiration or ambition, to be preserving, expanding, protecting and empowering one's particular spirituality, or religion, or political/national existence, identity, ideas, values and movements.
In the teachings and practice of Yoga and Buddhism, it's about letting go such thinking, belief, values and practice that is about making many personal friendships as well as social connections with the selfish intention to be benefiting oneself in certain way, to achieve one's personal desires and ambitions, or to get rid of loneliness, boredom and meaninglessness, but it's about be truly friendly, helpful and kind towards all beings without any selfish intention or expectation, out of humanity and compassion, without discrimination of 'friends' or 'not friends', 'connections' or 'non-connections', 'my people' or 'not my people'.
Be kind, friendly and helpful towards all and everyone, and provide necessary assistance particularly towards those who are 'truly' in need of certain help, within one's reach and ability, without discrimination or expectation. Being kind, friendly and helpful but ignorantly providing 'requested help' to those who don't really need help at all, but merely to be taking advantage of 'friends' and 'connections' to enjoy certain conveniences and benefits for oneself, doesn't help the world to have less ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.
Free from the idea and values of "Making as many friends as possible so that one will always have some friends to play with at anytime, because sometimes certain friends might not be available to be there for oneself, but at least there are many more other friends that might still be available to play with, or to be there for oneself whenever one needs help, or whenever one encounters any difficulties in life."
Many people might not be aware of that is what they have been learning and practicing from young, as well as passing down those selfish thinking, belief, values and practice onto their next generations, which they think is normal, and there's nothing selfish about it.
In social and cultural idea and values,
"Friends/connections are something good and positive."
"Friends/connections are there to make life easier and less difficult, more meaningful and less lonely."
"Friends/connections are there to help one's career and business to grow and be successful."
"Friends/connections are there to play with, to comfort, support and stand up for each other, and to protect one another."
"Friends/connections are there for helping one another to achieve everyone's aspirations and ambitions in life."
"You are not my friend, or you are not a good friend, because you are not there for me when I needed you, and you didn't keep in touch or stay connected with me for so long."
In certain spiritual, religious and political idea and values,
"You support me, I'll support you. You help me, I'll help you. You scratch my back, I'll scratch your back, and vice versa."
"You disagree with me and go against me, or you disrespect and disobey me, I'll punish and hurt you."
"The friends of my enemies are my enemies. The enemies of my enemies are my friends."
In the teachings and practice of Yoga and Buddhism,
Regardless of whether staying or not staying in touch/connected, with or without personal friendship/connection, agreeable or disagreeable, one just be kind and friendly to all, without discrimination, without selfish intention or expectation.
The best help to all humanity, is helping and guiding all, without discrimination, to be free from ignorance and egoism, which is the root cause of suffering arising in oneself and inflicting unto others, and not empowering the ignorance and egoism in the minds.
Inquire the truth of everything.
Post a Comment