Every time when we judge something or someone as 'good' or 'bad', 'right' or 'wrong', 'nice' or 'not nice', it is coming from the mind reacts towards what it perceives through the senses, and judging all these names and forms based on what it likes and dislikes, what it agrees and disagrees with, according to what the mind believes what things are and how things should be like. It is not the truth of what things really are.
It's common that our minds are conditioned to think in certain ways and to believe in certain beliefs.
Whether with awareness or without awareness, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we don't just expect ourselves to live life and to behave according to the thinking and beliefs in the mind, we also expect others (especially those who are close to us in life) to live life and to behave according to these thinking and beliefs in our mind. If others have different types of thinking and beliefs, and live life and behave contrary to our thinking and beliefs, or our way of life and behavior, we will judge their thinking and beliefs as 'not right' or 'wrong', and their way of life and behavior is 'not good' or 'bad'. And if we are unable to live life and behave the way that we think we should be according to certain beliefs in our mind, then we will judge ourselves as 'not good' or 'bad'. But this is not the truth.
Yoga practice is to change this habit of the mind, and stop judging anything or anyone based on the conditioned thinking and beliefs in our minds. Allow everyone and everything to be what they are, even if our minds dislike or disagree with them. Not expecting or trying to change them to be the way that we like them to be, or the way that we think it should be. We can share peace and harmony with others, and do our best to give the best guidance that our minds think and believe is 'best' to others, out of compassion, without attachment towards our actions and the fruit of our actions.
For example, being a parent. Naturally we will have some expectation towards ourselves to be a 'good' parent based on what our minds believe how a 'good' parent should be like. We will also have expectation towards our children how they should be like based on what our minds believe as 'good' children and 'right' behavior.
There's nothing wrong with this. Just that our minds will be unhappy, upset or angry, being dissatisfied, disappointed or frustrated with ourselves and our children whenever things didn't happen the way that we think it should be, nor as 'good' as how we like it to be. We think and judge that either we are not 'good' enough, or our children are not 'good' enough, or both. And if we don't have self-awareness nor self-control over our actions and speech, we might generate actions and speech that will hurt ourselves and our children, generate disharmony and tension in oneself and in others who directly or indirectly coming in contact with us.
For example, food. We like and dislike certain types of food and taste. We cannot force everyone especially our children to have the same liking and disliking towards food and taste as us. If they don't like the food and taste that we like, or vice versa, our egos will be offended. "Fish is very good. Why don't you like to eat fish? It's so bad for you to dislike eating fish.", or "Fish is not good. Why do you want to eat fish? It's horrible to eat fish.", or "I am your parent. You should listen to me. Fish is good for you. You should eat fish, whether you like it or not." and etc...
It is not necessarily that we must have our own children to be our teachers to teach us about life and compassion. Or else if we don't have any children, does that means we won't have the teachers to teach us about life and compassion? It's not. Everyone and everything including our children (if we have), are our teachers to teach us about life and compassion, to allow us to realize compassion. But the greatest teacher above all, is none other but ourselves. As it depends on ourselves to have the awareness and humility, to recognize, to acknowledge and to allow all these beings and things to be the teachers to be teaching us. And whether we will learn something from them or not, whether we can let go of egoism and attachment or not, and whether we will realize compassion or not, it is coming from ourselves.
And so, no need to feel bad or think that something is missing, if we don't have any children.
Be happy.
Om shanti.
It's common that our minds are conditioned to think in certain ways and to believe in certain beliefs.
Whether with awareness or without awareness, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we don't just expect ourselves to live life and to behave according to the thinking and beliefs in the mind, we also expect others (especially those who are close to us in life) to live life and to behave according to these thinking and beliefs in our mind. If others have different types of thinking and beliefs, and live life and behave contrary to our thinking and beliefs, or our way of life and behavior, we will judge their thinking and beliefs as 'not right' or 'wrong', and their way of life and behavior is 'not good' or 'bad'. And if we are unable to live life and behave the way that we think we should be according to certain beliefs in our mind, then we will judge ourselves as 'not good' or 'bad'. But this is not the truth.
Yoga practice is to change this habit of the mind, and stop judging anything or anyone based on the conditioned thinking and beliefs in our minds. Allow everyone and everything to be what they are, even if our minds dislike or disagree with them. Not expecting or trying to change them to be the way that we like them to be, or the way that we think it should be. We can share peace and harmony with others, and do our best to give the best guidance that our minds think and believe is 'best' to others, out of compassion, without attachment towards our actions and the fruit of our actions.
For example, being a parent. Naturally we will have some expectation towards ourselves to be a 'good' parent based on what our minds believe how a 'good' parent should be like. We will also have expectation towards our children how they should be like based on what our minds believe as 'good' children and 'right' behavior.
There's nothing wrong with this. Just that our minds will be unhappy, upset or angry, being dissatisfied, disappointed or frustrated with ourselves and our children whenever things didn't happen the way that we think it should be, nor as 'good' as how we like it to be. We think and judge that either we are not 'good' enough, or our children are not 'good' enough, or both. And if we don't have self-awareness nor self-control over our actions and speech, we might generate actions and speech that will hurt ourselves and our children, generate disharmony and tension in oneself and in others who directly or indirectly coming in contact with us.
For example, food. We like and dislike certain types of food and taste. We cannot force everyone especially our children to have the same liking and disliking towards food and taste as us. If they don't like the food and taste that we like, or vice versa, our egos will be offended. "Fish is very good. Why don't you like to eat fish? It's so bad for you to dislike eating fish.", or "Fish is not good. Why do you want to eat fish? It's horrible to eat fish.", or "I am your parent. You should listen to me. Fish is good for you. You should eat fish, whether you like it or not." and etc...
It is not necessarily that we must have our own children to be our teachers to teach us about life and compassion. Or else if we don't have any children, does that means we won't have the teachers to teach us about life and compassion? It's not. Everyone and everything including our children (if we have), are our teachers to teach us about life and compassion, to allow us to realize compassion. But the greatest teacher above all, is none other but ourselves. As it depends on ourselves to have the awareness and humility, to recognize, to acknowledge and to allow all these beings and things to be the teachers to be teaching us. And whether we will learn something from them or not, whether we can let go of egoism and attachment or not, and whether we will realize compassion or not, it is coming from ourselves.
And so, no need to feel bad or think that something is missing, if we don't have any children.
Be happy.
Om shanti.
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