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May all find the teacher within to guide oneself towards unconditional love and peace

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Confidence? Success? Happiness?

In this world of names and forms, when we talk about happiness, somehow we will relate it to how successful we are in life, which also leads to how confident we are in order to be happy, whether we relate happiness to being successful in life or not...

As what we usually believe in our mind, is that success is very much relate to confidence even though confidence is not a guarantee of success. We believe that confidence is the key to success. But, sometimes, we are not confident at all, but still we are able to be successful in what we want to do, unless we don't act at all... Sometimes maybe we are very confident, but it doesn't mean that we will be successful in all the things that we want to do.... Above all, whether we will be successful in what we want to do or not, we still can be confident without being affected by whether we are successful in what we want to do or not...

Confidence doesn't guarantee success, and success doesn't guarantee happiness. Why? As long as we identify ourselves with the impure mind and the selfish ego, we will still be affected by ignorance and impurities in our mind, affected by craving and aversion coming from the ego, then no matter how successful we can be, we will still be in miseries, full of fear and worries, anger and hatred, pride and arrogance, dissatisfaction and disappointment. There is no peace. How can there be happiness?

In the untrained mind, usually we will feel good and happy (or confident) when we are able to do what we want to do, or attain what we want to attain, or else, we will be feeling bad and unhappy (or not confident) if we couldn't do what we want to do, or couldn't attain what we want to attain... But this is not real happiness. This is just impermanent good feelings that fluctuate according to the qualities of names and forms, or determined by the conditions and abilities of the body and mind...

There is nothing wrong to put some make up on the face or the body, or to wear certain style of clothing, or decorate the face and body with some accessories and ornaments.

Just know that all these qualities of names and forms that we apply onto the face and body, are just some appearances with certain style of image that we try to apply onto this physical body and telling ourselves and the world, "Hey! This is me...", but it doesn't determine us for who we really are.

We can allow our ego to enjoy itself by changing the physical appearance through changing how we look and what we wear, but without attaching to the ego to identify as who we are, nor allowing the ego to determine whether we will be happy or not, as confidence, thinking and feelings are "products" derived from the ego attaching to the qualities of names and forms to think and feel good or not. But know that this is just the function of the ego. It is not who we really are.

We are who we are. We are not the ego. The ego is not us.

The ego needs to look good to feel good. The ego needs to be successful to be confident. Our true nature doesn't need to look good to feel good. Our true nature doesn't need to be successful to be confident. It is always peaceful and truthful as it is. It doesn't need to be confident, to think positive, or to feel good.

If we attached to the ego, or identifying with the ego as us, then we will believe or think that we need to depend or rely on how we look, or what we wear, or what we can do and attain, to be confident, to feel good and be happy about ourselves and our life, and we don't know the unconditional true confidence which is not coming from the physical appearance, physical condition and physical ability, nor determine by how the mind feels whether it is positive or negative feelings. That real confidence is our true nature being aware of the truth of things as they are, and not being determined by all the impermanent changing qualities of names and forms, nor being determined or influenced by the impurities that are arising and passing away in the mind.

The conditional confidence that comes from physical condition, ability and appearance, and which is influenced by the state of mind as well as achievements or success that we could attain in life, is impermanent. It is forever fluctuating and will fade away eventually. It is not real.

How can we hang on to something that is not permanent, not real, to be "somebody" who we identify as who we are, or what we like us to be?

True confidence is a state of being that is being free from ignorance or impurities like doubts, anger, hatred, jealousy, pride, arrogance, dissatisfaction, disappointment, craving, aversion, fear and worry, etc... It is not what we think "confidence" is, which built on how we look, how we feel, what we have, what we know, what we can do, where we are, or who we think we are...

It is only when we are not attached to all these impermanent qualities of the condition and ability of the physical body and its appearance, stop identifying with the ego, stop identifying with the qualities of names and forms, then our whole being will be naturally "confident" as it is, which is unchanging or unmovable. We don't need anything nor do something to give us confidence. There is nothing can take away this unconditional confidence which is our true nature, because it is the truth, being free form ignorance, doubts or any impurities, uncontaminated by the qualities of names and forms.

That is unconditional confidence that is beyond the qualities of the body and mind...

Realize this and be free, be truly confident as we are, not because who we think we are, or how we look, or how we feel, or what we have, or what we know, or what we can do, or where we are...

I am that I am. I am not this nor that. Without qualities. Fearless. Doubtless. Unconditioned and unlimited by names and forms...

We don't need to be "pretty", or "beautiful", or "slim and fit", or "strong and flexible", or "successful", or "famous and influential", or "in good health", or "in good relationships", or be "positive", or be "happy", or be anything that we relate to what we think "confidence" comes from.

Om shanti.

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Know thyself. There is no existence of 'I'. Everything is impermanent. Be free, be peaceful, be happy.

Om shanti

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Pantai Cenang, Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
My husband and I run ongoing yoga retreats in Langkawi Malaysia. We teach traditional Hatha Yoga - a combination of Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breathing techniques) and relaxation, that has given benefit to millions of practitioners over thousands of years. Our yoga studio is situated in Langkawi. We also run yoga retreats in Europe and India.

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