Forgive, forget, compassion, meditation, being in the present moment now...
Forgive ourselves or the mind, as it is our/the mind's own responsibility for allowing the mind being in the state of painful sorrow and feel hurt, and continuing being in that state of painful sorrow and hurt. Forgive others, who might intentionally or unintentionally generate actions or speech that inflict painful sorrow and hurt to our mind.
Forgiveness needs to be followed by forgetting. Forgive and forget, by letting go, or more precisely, it's not about completely wipe-off the memory of the unpleasant experiences from the memory storage or only remembering the pleasant experiences that made us feel good and happy, but it's about stop feeding the idea of "I was being hurt by this and I am and will be continuing being hurt by it", and allowing that idea to eventually drop-off by itself. Then even though one will remember some unpleasant experiences from time
to time, but those memories can no longer affect or disturb the mind
and there's no hurtful feeling upon remembering those unpleasant
experiences. Not attached towards the past experiences whether pleasant or unpleasant experiences. No craving or clinging onto the pleasant experiences that we liked. No aversion towards the unpleasant experiences that we disliked.
To be able to forgive and forget, we need to be able to be compassionate towards all beings, including oneself is also one of the beings. Being compassionate towards ourselves means we stop hurting ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally by letting go of anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear, worry, hurtful feelings, painful sorrow, anxieties, expectation, and etc. When we know how to be compassionate towards ourselves, naturally we are being compassionate towards other beings, as we won't intentionally generate any hurtful thoughts, actions and speech towards other beings when ourselves is at peace, being free from all kinds of impurities and negativities.
Meditate regularly to train the mind to be in the present moment now. Meditate by simply observing the natural incoming and outgoing breath. Allow the breath to be what it is, without judgment, comparison or expectation. This will free the mind from being determined or influenced by both pleasant and unpleasant past memories or experiences. Be free from being influenced by future anticipations, imaginations, speculations, hopes and expectations. Be free from craving and clinging onto the pleasant experiences, and be free from aversion towards the unpleasant experiences. Eventually the mind will be in the present moment now, naturally and effortlessly.
When the mind is free from the past and the future which doesn't exist at all in the reality of the present moment now and being free from craving and aversion, the mind will be free from all sorts of disturbance, affliction, painful sorrow, hurtful feelings, doubts, anxieties, dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear and worry. The mind is at peace.
It is not what is happening or what had happened that is/was unpleasant/painful/hurtful which cause us to experience painful sorrow or hurt. It is the untrained or impure mind that has generated all these painful sorrow and hurtful feelings in the mind itself when the mind comes in contact with the reality that it doesn't like and doesn't want, and when it doesn't come in contact with the reality that it likes and wants. The mind endlessly tricks or deceives itself. It feels upset or unhappy or hurt because the perceived reality is not being the way that it likes it to be. We are fooled by our own mind.
As pleasant and unpleasant feelings arise due to the reactions in the mind towards remembering the past memory of experiences that it liked and disliked. Memories (past experiences) are a bunch of rapid moving images projected in the mind based on whatever the mind comes in contact with through the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body sensation and thinking faculty. When there is attachment, we get caught in the stream of all these images, thinking that they are one piece of 'something' that has the good and bad quality that we like and dislike, and will either gives us happiness or unhappiness. When there is no attachment towards all these images, these images are just countless images arising and passing away in the mind. They have no power or intention to give happiness or unhappiness to the mind.
If we know how to keep the mind being in the present moment now, or to be in the state of meditation, there's no attachment towards whatever that is happening right now, not to say whatever that had happened in the past, whether these pleasant or unpleasant experiences are something that we like or dislike, agree and disagree with. As everything that the mind is experiencing now, are just countless images arising and passing away. They have no particular meanings or qualities to be something happy or suffering, nor to give us happiness or suffering. It's ignorance and egoism in the mind that give particular meaning/quality to all these impermanent and selfless names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses.
When there is no attachment towards whatever the mind perceives through the senses, there is no need to practice forgiveness or to forget anything, as there is nothing there for us to forgive and forget. All memory towards pleasant and unpleasant experiences are just impermanent images in the mind arising and passing away.
Unpleasant memory of the past unpleasant experiences might continue to reappear in the mind from time to time, but they no longer determine or influence the mind to feel unhappy or hurt. This is real forgetting. It is free from continuing being determined or influenced by past pleasant or unpleasant experiences for how the mind feels in the present moment now. It doesn't mean that we completely don't remember anything that we experienced in the past, or deleting all our memories of past experiences.
It is the craving and aversion towards certain meanings or qualities that the mind projects onto the names and forms, that cause itself to feel happy or unhappy based on whether the mind comes or doesn't come in contact with the reality that it likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want.
Wake up from this delusion, and be free.
It is not about changing the reality that we don't like and disagree with into something that we like and can agree with. It is allowing the reality to be what it is, even if it is not pleasant, it is not something that we like or can agree with.
Those who realize this teaching, they don't need to receive any kind of 'spiritual healing' to 'be healed' from any 'painful sorrow' or 'hurts', as there's no painful sorrow or hurt existing in these minds.