Additional notes for "Confused relationship mixed with love and hatred?":
Feelings always changing... It's impermanent. That's why sometimes we feel love, sometimes we don't feel love... It's normal.
Unconditional love is being kind and compassionate towards any beings without selfish desires, selfish intention, judgment, likes and dislikes, craving and aversion, expectation and attachment... It's selfless and unconditional...
There's no differences between us and everyone else. We love everyone including ourselves. There's no differences between "my" family or not "my" family, "my" friend or not "my" friend, people whom I know or don't know, people whom I like or don't like, people whom I agree with or disagree with, people whom I think they are good or not good.
And we do not expect love, gratitude and appreciation in return. There is no anger, hatred, jealousy, disappointment, unhappiness in compassionate love. Just like the sun, the air, the water, the earth and the space are always there giving and providing all the necessary elements and energy for everything to be exist in the universe, without any desires, intention or judgment or comparison or expectation or likes and dislikes, agreement and disagreement... They never ask anything in return...
They don't get upset and angry or disappointed when the people polluting the earth, the water and the air. The space doesn't mind when people start to think that they "possess" the space as their own private space. The wind doesn't mind that the people harvest the wind and make money out of it... The sun doesn't get upset when people condemn the sun is too hot or too much, causing them skin cancer or skin burn... The sun has no intention to benefit anyone to be exist, nor cause anyone discomfort or painful suffering... The sun has no expectation that anyone will be grateful and thankful for its contribution for everything to be exist in the universe... (If we don't want to get skin burn or skin cancer, we take responsibility for ourselves, don't stay under the sun for too long...)
They are always there providing and giving for everything to be exist in this universe... It doesn't matter what are the reactions or judgments coming from the beings about the water is too much or too little, the air is too strong or too weak, the sun is too much or too little, the earth is too soft or too hard, the space is too big or too small...
Selfish passionate love comes with our selfish desires, intention, judgment, expectation, and possessiveness... Expect "my..." to be there for me, support me, love me, appreciate me, take care of me, to be grateful and thankful for "what I did for you and how much I love you..." and etc...
When our desires are not being gratified, when we don't get what we want from "my...", we get upset, angry, unhappy, disappointed...
Passionate love based on qualities, names and forms that I like and want. If I see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think about qualities that I like about you, then I feel love for you... If I see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think about qualities that I don't like about you, I don't feel love for you, I feel disgusting for you...
If you do things and say things that I like and agree with, I am happy and I love you... If you do things and say things that I don't like and don't agree with, I am angry and I hate you...
In selfish passionate love, we only love something that we like and agree with, but we cannot love something that we don't like and disagree with...
Compassionate love is beyond all qualities, names and forms... No love, no hate... Beyond likes and dislikes, agreement and disagreement... We don't have to love or hate anything or anyone... We accept and respect everything and everyone as it is...
If we can love "our" family, "our" friends, "our" parents, "our" siblings, "our" girlfriend or boyfriend, out of compassion, there is no unhappiness, anger or disappointment... We don't own them, and they have no obligation to love us or satisfy our desires or to make us happy... Even if someone we love doesn't love us at all, it doesn't matter... We won't feel hurt from not getting the love that we want... If we are compassionate... We don't need to get love from anyone, because we are love itself...
We have no desire for anyone to give us love... We don't need to... There are unlimited or abundance of love in us already... And we can love anyone without expectation...
That's why selfish possessive type of passionate love relationship ends up sour and bitter, full of anger, hatred, unhappiness and disappointment... It's because our desires are not being fulfilled... We didn't get what we want... The relationship didn't turn out the way that we want... "My..." didn't treat me or behave the way that I want them to treat me or behave...
You see, it's all come from what "I" want and what "I" like... We make ourselves suffer and unhappy... It's not the people that we love or people in the relationship with us that make us suffer and not happy...
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Additional notes for "Confused relationship mixed with love and hatred?"
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