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May all find the teacher within to guide oneself towards unconditional love and peace

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Love relationship is a training ground for letting go...

If we truly love someone, we need to be able to let go of expectation and attachment towards the love we have for him or her. Allow him or her to love us as he is, as she is.

The one who truly loves us will not do anything to hurt us without us expect anything from him or her. If he or she doesn't want to love us and wants to go, we will let him or her go, wishing him or her peace and happiness, even though it's not easy, it might be painful.

If someone we love very much would do things that will hurt us, it means that he or she doesn't love us or appreciate us at all. We can't do anything about it. We have to accept that he or she doesn't love us.

What's the point holding on strongly towards someone who doesn't love us and doesn't appreciate us, who doesn't respect the existing relationship with us, who doesn't care if it will hurt us out of selfishness and passionate desires?

Once we develop compassion towards ourselves, we will let go of our love towards him or her, and just allow him or her to be what he is, what she is. We will treat and love him or her as a friend who doesn't appreciate someone who loves them, not as my lover or my partner. Then whatever he or she does will not generate hurt in us anymore.

If we feel hurt when we realized the one whom we love doesn't really love us, is because we think and expect the one whom we love will love us, and if he or she loves us, he or she won't do anything to betrayed our love for him or her. But that is a selfish thinking and expectation. We can only allow him or her to love us out of his or her free-will, then without our expectation, he or she will love us without us ask him or her to love us. Out of their own free-will and self-control, they won't do anything to hurt us because they love us. And that is freedom.

When we allow the one whom we love to love us as he is, as she is, it doesn't mean that we should allow him or her to intentionally doing things that will hurt us, if he or she doesn't love us. It's not okay. But we can choose to let go of this love relationship that is meaningless.

We don't have to love someone who doesn't love us. And that itself is loving ourselves and the one who doesn't love us, by letting go the love we have for him or her. If we still feel hurt, it's because we couldn't let go the love we have for the one who doesn't love us, even though they might tell us they love us, but they don't really love us, because they only love what they like and what they want from us. Why do we want to be hurt for loving someone who is selfish and doesn't deserve our love?

If we couldn't let go, we generate tension in ourselves and the person in the relationship with us, whether the one in the relationship with us loves us or doesn't love us. We won't be peaceful or happy being in a tensed relationship, even though we think we love him or her very much.

When we rise above the pain of letting go the one whom we love, our hearts find love and peace that come from loving our loved one unconditionally.

Do not be jealous with other people's relationship that is full of joy and happiness, and think that it's not possible to have such flawless and beautiful relationships in this world. When two people have gone beyond egoism and attachment, personal cravings and desires, the relationship will be only joy and happiness. Such relationship is rare but it exists.

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Know thyself. There is no existence of 'I'. Everything is impermanent. Be free, be peaceful, be happy.

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My husband and I run ongoing yoga retreats in Langkawi Malaysia. We teach traditional Hatha Yoga - a combination of Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breathing techniques) and relaxation, that has given benefit to millions of practitioners over thousands of years. Our yoga studio is situated in Langkawi. We also run yoga retreats in Europe and India.

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