Letting go

What to be letting go?

Let go the idea of 'I' (the ego) and egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, possessiveness, comparison, judgment, and expectation, as well as all kinds of by-products that come along under the presence of the idea of 'I' and egoism, that give rise to all kinds worldly passionate egoistic ideas, beliefs, values, practices, activities, desires, visions, inspirations, aspirations, or ambitions, that give rise to all kinds of impurities and restlessness.

Let go the idea of 'I' and egoism doesn't mean that one doesn't love or be kind to oneself, or doesn't strive to improve and doesn't look after the well-being of oneself, while deliberately doing everything that would be damaging or hurtful unto oneself.

Let go all kinds worldly attachment and identification of family ties and connections doesn't mean that one abandons one's duty and responsibility towards those who are in some kind of ties and connections with oneself, or doesn't love and be kind to all of them, while deliberately doing everything that would be damaging or hurtful unto all of them.

Let go attachment towards the world doesn't mean that one doesn't look after the well-being of the world, while deliberately doing everything that would be damaging or hurtful unto the world.

It's about performing all one's duties and responsibilities towards looking after oneself and others and the world, without attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, possessiveness, comparison, judgment, and expectation.

It's about performing actions while renouncing the fruit of actions.

One is kind towards oneself, all and everyone, and everything, unconditionally, without attachment and identification or the sense of separateness, of 'myself' and 'others', of 'my family and friends' and 'not my family and friends', of 'my community' and 'not my community', of 'my belongings' and 'not my belongings'.

There is no "This is how much I give, and this is how much I deserve to receive in return."

The minds that don't understand the real meaning and practice of letting go, they would be in a state of selfishness, lovelessness, depression, loneliness, and meaninglessness, when they try to 'let go'.

The minds that understand, there is no selfishness, lovelessness, depression, loneliness, and meaninglessness, when they let go 'what I think is myself', all kinds of attachments and identifications, all kinds of ties and connections, and the world.

Inquire the truth of everything.

How to be free from the sense of separateness

Regardless of what the mind thinks and believes and identifies itself as this and not that, and what the mind thinks and believes and identifies others as this and not that, all and everyone are selfless and impermanent.

Regardless of what are the different qualities that exist in the different names and forms, all and everything are selfless and impermanent.

Regardless of what the mind thinks and believes and judges as good or bad, right or wrong, kind or unkind, selfish or unselfish, positive or negative, meaningful or meaningless, strong or weak, common or uncommon, normal or abnormal, ordinary or extraordinary, healthy or unhealthy, knowledgeable or non-knowledgeable, educated or uneducated, talented or untalented, happiness or unhappiness, joy or sorrow, pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, enjoyment or suffering, living beings or non-living objects, sentient or non-sentient, intelligent or non-intelligent, wise or ignorant, perfect or imperfect, egoistic or selfless, passionate or dispassionate, peaceful or restless, gain or loss, deserving or non-deserving, holy or unholy, pure or impure, 'unbreakable' or fragile, and so on, all and everything are selfless and impermanent.

Keep performing the same inquiry towards all and everything, from ancient until the present, regardless of whether it's something from within the same category or it's something among the many different categories, all and everything are selfless and impermanent. All are arising/forming, changing/decaying, and passing away/disintegrating.

Keep inquiring until the mind starts to see beyond all kind of different qualities in all kind of names and forms that appear to be distinct and separated from one another, as well as names and forms that appear to be having the same uniform quality with the same name and form, where the mind sees only the one same nature of all and everything, which is, selfless and impermanent.

The sense of separateness will disappear from the mind as it is.

This mind will be void of discrimination, or hatred, or intimidation towards any names and forms.

This mind will respect all kind of names and forms being what they are, as they are, and they are changing, slowly or rapidly.

There's no sense of loneliness in this mind.

All and everyone and everything that the mind likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees with, loves and doesn't love, are changing and passing away, eventually, slowly, rapidly, or suddenly.

There's no grief or painful sorrow.

There's neither meaningfulness nor meaninglessness.

Be free.

Just by coming in contact with the teachings about non-separateness, and intellectually 'understand' about non-separateness, but if without direct experience and realization towards non-separateness, the mind will still be determined by the different qualities of names and forms that the mind likes or dislikes, agrees or disagrees with under the influence of ignorance and egoism, attaching and identifying with certain qualities of names and forms as 'I', where the mind unwittingly comparing, judging and expecting itself and all and everything based on the particular thinking, belief, values and practice that it upholds and feels proud of, that generates the sense of separateness between 'I' and all the others that are not 'I', that are different from 'I' and are contradicting with 'I' and 'my', and hence, naturally, there's discrimination, aversion, rejection, hatred and intimidation arise in the mind towards what the mind dislikes and disagrees with, based on the particular thinking, belief, values and practice in the mind, that it upholds and feels proud of, which also influences the mind thinking and believing itself and others are somehow deserving or not deserving certain things, reactions, treatments, or experiences.

Upon the vanish of the sense of separateness, there's neither deserving nor non-deserving this or that.

This is contradicting with all the different kinds of thinking, beliefs, values and practices in the world, where although they are distinct from one another, they have the similar values about being proud of and protective/defensive towards their own particular thinking, belief, values and practice, and there's deserving and non-deserving, as well as judgment and expectation towards themselves and all the others, based on what their thinking, belief, values and practice judges and refers as good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, meaningful and meaningless, and so on.

It's everyone's freedom for their own thinking, belief, values and practice, for all their desire and don't desire, action and reaction.

Those who are not interested in yoga or practicing yoga, they don't need to perform this inquiry.

Be happy.

Be free from attachment and craving towards love and acknowledgement

Many unnecessary sufferings in the world are due to the minds are not free from the passionate egoistic attachment towards love and kindness, there’s desire of craving towards receiving love and kindness from others, or longing to be loved and acknowledged by others, or there’s expectation towards how all and everyone should and shouldn’t act and react and feel.

Many minds think and believe and propagate that all and everyone, including plants and objects, deserve and need love, or be loved by some others, or else, it’s bad, wrong, terrible, sorrowful, pitiful, joyless, meaningless and suffering, if without love.

That is everyone’s freedom of thinking and belief, desire, action and reaction, however, it doesn’t free the mind from perceiving suffering. The mind is still being conditioned by duality and the passionate egoistic attachment towards what the mind thinks and believes is love, good, right, positive, joyful and meaningful.

There is nothing wrong, and it’s very good about the presence of loving kindness among one another in the world of diversity where many minds are under the influence of ignorance and egoism. It’s better than the presence of hatred and cruelty among one another. But this loving kindness that is unconditional and non-discriminating, is beyond personal passionate feeling of love and affection that is conditional and discriminating.

The minds are not free from suffering under such thinking and belief, or understanding about all and everyone deserve and need love, regardless of whether it’s the presence of the personal passionate feeling of love and affection, or the unconditional non-discriminating loving kindness. By receiving love and kindness from others can only give certain degrees of momentary sense of happiness and meaningfulness, or momentary relief from what the minds think and believe as unhappiness, meaninglessness, or suffering, but it doesn’t free the minds from the root cause of unhappiness, meaninglessness, or suffering.

Treating or looking after all and everything with care and appreciation might can help to maintain or prolong their good condition up to certain degrees, but still, all are impermanent. Caring and appreciative towards all and everything doesn’t have to be related to passionate feeling of love and affection. One doesn’t need to have passionate feeling of love and affection, or attachment, towards certain things in order to show care and appreciation towards them, while respecting all and everything are impermanent. There’s no disappointment, painful sorrow, unhappiness, meaninglessness or suffering arise upon impermanent changes.

If the minds are being conditioned by the thinking and belief that all and everything need and deserve love and kindness from others, and are craving for love and to be loved by some others, while expecting all and everyone should show love and kindness towards all and everyone, or shouldn’t be unloving and unkind, regardless of whether they are the family, parents, siblings, friends, partners, children, or the communities in the world, they will be suffering upon thinking that they are not loved by others, or those whom they want and expect them to love and be kind to them, but they don’t love or be kind to them, or expecting that all and everyone should be loving and kind to one another, but they don’t.

The minds are craving for love and to be loved by some others, and have expectation towards how others should and shouldn’t act and react and feel, is merely because they are under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

What all and everyone truly need, for peace in oneself and in the world, is to be free from ignorance and egoism.

If the minds are free from ignorance and egoism, they will realize selfless compassion.

Once they realized selfless compassion, they will understand.

It’s everyone’s freedom for how they think, act and react and feel, of whether they love others and want to be kind to others, or not.

They don’t need to please or impress anyone in order to attain love and affection, or acknowledgement and validation from others.

They don’t need others to love or be kind to them.

They don’t need family, parents, siblings, friends, teachers, students, partners, children, communities, animals, plants, nature, objects, or the universe, to love them, or more precisely, to love them in the way that they think how it should be.

They don’t need to be loved by anyone.

They don’t need love and affection.

They don’t need acknowledgement and validation.

None can help or make them to realize that, but the mind itself.

Once they realized that, once they understood that, they are free.

They will never feel lonely.

They will never feel unloved.

They will never feel intimidated.

They will never feel hurt or disappointed.

They can love or don’t love anyone.

They can be kind to everyone, if they want.

They can appreciate the presence of love and kindness from others unto them, but they don’t need anyone to love and be kind to them, and they don’t expect all and everyone should be loving and kind, or shouldn’t be unloving and unkind.

They will allow and respect everyone whether they want to love and be kind to others, or not, even though they might not agree with, encourage, or support unloving and unkind behaviors in the world.

If they are suffering, it’s not because others don’t love them, or don’t want to love them, or some others are being unloving and unkind to them or others.

They are suffering, is because they don’t allow everyone being what and how they are, whether they love others or want to be kind to others, or not.

They are suffering, is because they want to be loved and acknowledged by others, there’s craving and expectation towards receiving love and acknowledgement from others, and there’s expectation towards how everyone should and shouldn’t behave, but that desire of craving and expectation is not being gratified.

And hence,

How to be free from such unnecessary suffering deriving from ignorance and egoism?

Just let go the passionate egoistic thinking and belief that is conditioning how the mind understands and judges everything, influencing how it acts and reacts and feels, and how it expects others about how everyone should act and react and feel.

No doubt that for promoting peace and harmony among all and everything, none should be unloving or unkind towards anyone or anything, however, it’s everyone’s freedom, whether they want to be loving and kind to others, or not, even if they are one’s family, parents, siblings, friends, partners, children, or community.

There's nothing wrong with the minds don't feel love towards certain names and forms that they dislike and disagree with. It's okay if the mind doesn't want to love someone or something, with or without any reason. The mind might not love, like and agree with everything, but it doesn't necessarily has to be hating or being cruel towards something that it doesn't love, doesn't like, or doesn't agree with. The mind that would react with hatred and cruelty towards something that it doesn't love, doesn't like or doesn't agree with, is ill, or corrupted.

It is everyone’s freedom for being ignorant and egoistic, or not.

It is everyone’s freedom if they feel lonely, unloved, intimidated, disappointed, hurt, joyless, sorrow, or meaningless.

It is also everyone’s freedom whether they want to be free from the unnecessary suffering deriving from ignorance and egoism, or not, and whether they want to let go, or not.

The minds that are free from ignorance and egoism, they are peaceful and free as they are, regardless of whether they have many friends, or have very few friends, or have no friend at all, to play with, interact with and share with, and whether their family/parents/siblings/friends are being loving and kind to them, or not. They allow everyone and everything to come and go as they are. The sense of loneliness, hurt, guilt, regret, sorrow, fear and meaninglessness doesn't exist in such minds.

Be free.

Walking away out of wisdom and compassion vs Running away out of aversion

Some yoga enthusiasts might be confusing and criticizing about the important yoga practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude as 'a form of aversion towards something that the mind doesn't like and doesn't desire', or 'running away' from 'unpleasant reality', 'problems', 'difficulties' or 'duties and responsibilities'.

It's common that many passionate minds would like to be able to escape or runaway from what the mind doesn't like, doesn't agree with and doesn't desire, while yoga practice is not about escaping or running away from 'the unpleasant/disagreeable/undesirable problematic and chaotic world' at all, but being aware of and respecting the world being what it is, as it is, even if it's unpleasant, disagreeable and undesirable.

The yoga practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude through letting go and retreating or moving away from the worldly egoistic community, social affairs, activities and interactions has nothing to do with aversion towards 'what the mind doesn't like and doesn't desire', or running away from 'unpleasant reality', 'difficulties', 'problems', or 'duties and responsibilities'.

It's out of wisdom, one is aware of all kinds of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world, and, out of compassion towards oneself and the world of ignorance, as well as for conserving energy and diverting attention to be focusing on one's yoga practice, one chooses to move away or walk away from something that sprung from ignorance as well as feeding and empowering ignorance. One doesn't need to be wasting any energy and attention into forbearing and dealing with all kinds of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world.

The practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude is indeed one of the toughest practices for many yoga enthusiasts. It's indeed a challenging and difficult task for many impure egoistic passionate minds, however, ironically, it's also being widely misunderstood by many passionate minds as 'Running away from the worldly commitments, cares, worries, difficulties and problems to be enjoying a free and easy way of living.'

The main teaching and practice of yoga is about realizing unconditional peace through transcending all kinds of ignorance induced suffering or mental corruptions by freeing the mind from passionate egoistic attachment, identification, and desires of craving and aversion. All kinds of physical and mental benefits deriving from performing some sorts of yoga practice regularly doesn't mean anything, if the mind is still being over-powered by worldly passionate egoistic attachment and identification, and the desires of craving and aversion, even after many years of practicing yoga or teaching yoga to others.

One who never works on eliminating or transcending the passionate desires of craving and aversion, who doesn't work on disciplining the senses, but whether wittingly or unwittingly being the slave of the senses and ceaselessly chasing after the objects of the senses to gratify the desires of craving and aversion, and taking the achievement of gratifying the desires of craving and aversion as the highest meaning and enjoyment of life existence, while trying to live a 'pure and clean' way of 'yogic' living by promoting and consuming bio-organic type of vegetarian non-animal products and adopting an ecological environmental friendly way of living, but then the mind is unwittingly being 'disturbed' or 'annoyed' by what the mind sees, hears, smells, tastes, senses and thinks/imagines/visualizes that it doesn't like, doesn't agree with and doesn't desire, as there is intense attachment and identification towards the body and mind as well as all kinds of qualities of names and forms as 'who/what am I', being conditioned strongly by certain worldly thinking and belief and values to behave, act and react, then one isn't really practicing yoga, even though one is being an avid vegetarian and is being motivated for doing some sorts of yoga, breathing and meditation practice on a regular basis, and is enjoying the many momentary physical and mental benefits deriving from performing those practices for many years.

The passionate egoistic minds, including some yoga enthusiasts who think they love practicing and teaching yoga, couldn't comprehend but rejecting this essential teaching and practice of disciplining the passionate egoistic behavior pattern of the mind, and that's their freedom of thinking and understanding.

None can remove ignorance from one's mind but the mind itself.

Unless the mind is already firmly grounded in selflessness, attributelessness, namelessness and formlessness, where the senses are perfectly tamed, where the mind is no longer being 'determined', 'disturbed' or 'influenced' by the selfless modifications of the mind, of the ceaseless perception of names and forms being perceived through the senses (the selfless impermanent world of names and forms), then there's no more yoga practice. There's no need of the practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude, where one can live and mingle among the worldly passionate egoistic minds and affairs, but being at peace as one is, being undetermined by actions and inactions or the fruit of actions and inactions, being free from restlessness, painful sorrow and suffering, being free from ignorance and egoistic attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, or expectation, being undisturbed and uninfluenced by what is happening in the world, regardless of goodness or badness.

Loneliness doesn't exist for the minds that know this. There's nothing wrong in those who are suffering from loneliness, and those who think and believe that loneliness is a suffering or illness caused by not having enough companionship, love, care, support, attention, acknowledgement and social interaction from some other beings, it's just that the minds are still functioning under the influence of worldly passionate egoistic thinking and belief and values.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Free the mind from craving towards love, acknowledgement, appreciation and/or validation from anyone

There's nothing wrong with receiving love, acknowledgement and appreciation from some other beings in our life, if it's there. It's the social/cultural/psychological thinking and belief about human beings 'need' to be receiving love, acknowledgement, appreciation and/or validation from some others or a community for being existing in this world to feel meaningful, love, high self-esteem, worthy, satisfaction, happiness, and so on, that is why so many people are 'suffering' from the sense of loneliness, missingness, meaninglessness, lovelessness, low self-esteem, low self-worth, disappointment, unhappiness, and so on, when they think they are not receiving/getting 'enough' love, acknowledgment and appreciation from some others to fuel/boost their sense of meaningfulness, love, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, happiness, and so on.

Though the 'legal' validation and authorization by some self claimed/community supported 'authority' for being existing, living, doing something and moving around in this world is something else, which is truly unnecessary and shouldn't be existing at all, as well as it's the main source of all kinds of discrimination, unrest and humanity cruelty, but we all are being 'legally bound' by it the moment we were being born into this world, reluctantly. When people actively fight for freedom of anything in this world, it's actually about freedom from being 'controlled' by any 'corrupted' legality/authorization/authority. The world would be a much better place if without any so called legality/authorization/authority that create borders and separation among human beings, while discriminating and oppressing all and everyone 'legally'.

Regardless of the many different types of ethnic, cultural and social background in the world, it's common that many people were being brought up/educated in the way of developing intense attachment and identification towards a personal, family and community identity that fueled by a strong sense of belonging and recognition coming from attaining or receiving love, acknowledgement, appreciation, acceptance, accreditation, validation, liking and support from some others, or family, or a community. This is part of the play of ignorance and egoism that relates to the many kinds of mental and emotional suffering in this world.

The basic practice of yoga and Buddhism is to free the mind from such ignorance and egoism through the practice of dispassion, renunciation, non-attachment, non-identification, desireless, non-craving, non-aversion and non-expectation.

It's normal that many people, including yoga practitioners and yoga teachers, who never practice dispassion, renunciation, non-attachment, non-identification and non-craving/clinging/aversion towards all and everything, would be disturbed very much by the sense of loneliness, missingness, meaninglessness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, disappointment, unhappiness, grief, sorrow, and so on, upon the presence and absence of certain experience, condition and situation that they think and believe is the cause of loneliness, missingness, meaninglessness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, disappointment, unhappiness, grief and sorrow in their life existence.

Self-esteem and self-worth shouldn't and doesn't need to be existing in this life existence of impermanent and selfless names and forms, but that's the way human beings were/are being 'conditioned' to develop 'self-esteem' and 'self-worth' to be somebody who constantly needs to be 'loved', 'accepted', 'acknowledged', 'appreciated', and/or 'validated' by some others, their family and community, from the moment being born until the moment of death.

No one can 'help' those who are reluctant to help themselves to be free from all kinds of mental and emotional suffering by freeing their minds from ignorance and egoism, not to say, those who feel being 'offended' very much by this teaching of yoga and Buddhism about freeing one's mind from ignorance and egoism, alone by oneself, but only looking forward to be giving and receiving love, acknowledgement, appreciation, acceptance, accreditation, approval, agreement, liking and support between one another, to attain certain 'validation' of being 'existing' in this worldly life existence, to chase away the sense of loneliness, meaninglessness, missingness, unworthiness, disappointment, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and so on.

Upon the annihilation of ignorance and egoism, one doesn't even need any 'validation' from oneself, not to say, from anyone else.

Living in the present

The minds that know how to 'live' in the present, time doesn't exist, but only a reflection of impermanent selfless changes. These minds are fearless and worryless being free from craving towards particular desirable/agreeable/pleasant condition and aversion towards particular undesirable/disagreeable/unpleasant condition. The function of the thinking mind or the state of the mind will go through impermanent selfless changes, but the nameless/formless/attributeless universal consciousness beyond the egoistic self-cognitive thinking mind, is birthless/deathless/changeless/infinite.

The mind can make use of the existing available condition, knowledge, talent, skill, experience and opportunity in the present moment to be performing actions looking after the well-being of one's life and/or others, without attachment towards the actions and the fruit of actions. Passionate optimistic people even propagate that people can create/develop the desirable condition, knowledge, talent, skill, experience and opportunity intentionally, if they aren't existing/available in the present. There's nothing wrong with that. The only difference is that there's no satisfaction/dissatisfaction, pleasure/disappointment, happiness/unhappiness, success/failure, pride and arrogance/shame and guilt/regret in the minds that are free from attachment towards the actions and the fruit of actions.

The minds that know this, all actions are being performed out of selfless compassion, intentionlessly. It's nothing to do with attaining the sense of goodness, happiness, righteousness, positiveness and meaningfulness or getting rid of the sense of badness, unhappiness, wrongfulness, negativeness or meaninglessness. As the minds that are free from the ego and egoism don't need to attain the sense of goodness, happiness, righteousness, positiveness, or meaningfulness, to feel good, happy, righteous, positive, or meaningful, as these minds are void of the sense of badness, unhappiness, wrongfulness, negativeness, or meaninglessness, regardless of all the impermanent selfless changes of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses. There's not even the idea of "I am a selfless compassionate being performing selfless compassionate actions that are beneficial to the world." not to say, "I want to be a kind and compassionate human being who performs kind and compassionate actions that will benefit the world."

The worldly passionate minds that are being conditioned to think and believe that all human beings need to live life and perform actions in the way that would give rise to the sense of goodness, happiness, righteousness, positiveness and meaningfulness, couldn't comprehend this. These minds are being 'troubled' by the absence of the sense of goodness, happiness, righteousness, positiveness, or meaningfulness, and would be 'disturbed' by the presence of the sense of loneliness, lovelessness, badness, wrongfulness, unhappiness, negativeness, or meaninglessness. The practice of silence, solitude, seclusion and renunciation from worldly affair and relationship is extremely painful, wrong, lonely, loveless, negative and meaningless to them.

"Being alone, living alone, without coming in contact or interacting with family and friends and the society for a prolonged period of time is something unhealthy, sad, wrong and terrible."

For the worldly minds, everyone should be physically/mentally/emotionally closely 'connecting' to one another, be able to love and care for one another, be able to give and receive love from one another, (sort of) being free from loneliness/aloneness by being with some others, to be physically/mentally/emotionally connecting and interacting with some others, is the highest meaning and the joy of life existence. There's nothing wrong, but it's not freedom in yoga.

In yoga, (regardless of whether being by oneself alone, being physically distant from any other beings and without interacting with some others physically/mentally/emotionally, or being physically/mentally/emotionally surrounded by some other beings and constantly interacting with other beings,) the realization of unconditional peace of namelessness/formlessness/attributelessness/selflessness, being free from ignorance and egoism, being free from attachment and longing towards the sense of goodness, happiness, righteousness, positiveness, or meaningfulness deriving from certain quality of names and forms of the companionship of others and interaction with some other beings physically/mentally/emotionally, is indeed a great liberation. Though the worldly passionate minds don't appreciate this liberation. For them, this is not the liberation that they want, because they think and believe life is so sad and loveless if nobody needs to depend on one another to feel love, to be giving and receiving love physically/mentally/emotionally among one another. And that's everyone's freedom of thinking, belief, feeling, action, reaction and desire.

Even many 'yoga teachers' who think they love practicing and teaching yoga would also think and believe in such way. They are not interested in dispassion, renunciation, silence, solitude, seclusion, or celibacy. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, some yoga practitioners aren't working on silencing and annihilating the modification of the mind, but they are working on empowering egoism, desire of craving and aversion, passion and lust, and stimulating the modification of the mind. There are such saying - "Change what you don't like until you are happy and satisfied."; "If you don't like how you look or how you feel, change it!"; "If you don't like your eyes or your skin colour, change it to be the way that you like!"; "If you aren't happy or satisfied with your life or relationship, change it!"; "If you don't like the world, change it and make it the way that you like and prefer!"; "Be strong! Be in power! Be in control! You deserve everything that you desire!" And that's their freedom. But that's not yoga practice.

Any tiny or huge 'amount'/'measurement' of physical/mental/emotional distance makes no difference for the mind that realizes oneness/non-separateness/selflessness. The adept yogi is never lonely even when being alone, or non-coming in contact and non-interacting with some other beings physically/mentally/emotionally for a short while or for a prolonged period of time. Those who don't know this, even after 'practicing yoga' for a long time, would feel lonely, sick, unhealthy, bad, wrong, unhappy, meaningless or depressed, when being physically/mentally/emotionally distant from some other beings for a prolonged period of time.

Many people can't live without coming in contact and interacting with some others even for a few hours/days/weeks, not to say, for months/years. They would be suffering from loneliness and sadness, because the untrained egoistic mind perceives time and separateness, where time without actions or interactions (silence), is dulled, boring, empty, lonely and meaningless. Even many medical professionals think that in order to be 'cured' from loneliness and sadness, is to be with and interacting with some other beings physically/mentally/emotionally as much as possible. Though there's nothing wrong with it, that is not yoga practice, but indeed a huge obstacle on the path of yoga towards liberation from ignorance and egoism.

Many people including some 'yoga teachers' believing in and promoting "Do what makes you feel good, happy, righteous, positive and meaningful" while encouraging people to be kind and do good by propagating "Be kind and do good or help others because it makes you feel good, happy, positive and meaningful." Though there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not yoga practice. It doesn't help the mind to be free from the ego and egoism, but actually empowering the ego and egoism. The yoga teachings taught, "Stop doing what your mind likes that makes your mind (the ego) feels good, satisfy and happy." in order to know Thyself, to realize unconditional peace as it is, which is not coming from doing/achieving something that the mind thinks it will make the mind (the ego) feels good, satisfy and happy.

Just be kind. Just do good. Just help others. Not because "I need or want to be kind and do good and help others because it will make me feel good, happy and meaningful." In yoga, that's no freedom at all.

Those who truly practice yoga, there's no need to do/achieve something to feel good, happy or meaningful, but just being peaceful as they are, being free from ignorance, egoism, desire of craving and aversion. Imagine a world where all and everyone realize this unconditional peace, in stead of thinking and believing that all beings need to attain and feel love from some other beings, longing to be loved or touched by some other beings to feel good, happy, satisfy or meaningful, and people would perceive dissatisfaction, disappointment, badness, unhappiness, sadness, loneliness or meaninglessness upon the perception of lacking love and interaction from some others. Though it's everyone's freedom for what they think, believe, feel, act and react.

For those who truly want to practice yoga, must work diligently on the elimination of the ego and egoism, removing the veil of ignorance, silencing and annihilating the modification of the mind.

Meaning / Purpose of life existence?

Most minds look for the 'meaning/purpose of life existence' in certain qualities of names and forms, of worldly affairs, actions, activities, interactions, relationships, achievements, objects, conditions, quality of life, contributions, selfless service, and etc.

"Find something or do something in life that make you feel meaningful that give you the sense of purpose of life existence, so that life wouldn't be meaningless and purposeless." That's what many people think and believe and propagate. People are suffering from 'meaninglessness' or 'loneliness' because they try to find the 'meaning/purpose of life' in the worldly names and forms (conditions/relationships/actions/activities/experiences/achievements) that are limited by impermanence and selflessness, that are conditioned by time, space and causation, that are perishable.

There's nothing wrong with the minds finding 'meaning' or 'purpose' of life existence in certain qualities of names and forms, of worldly affairs, actions, activities, interactions, relationships, achievements, objects, conditions, quality of life, contributions, selfless service, and etc. Especially when there's no attachment towards all the perishable qualities of names and forms that give the mind the sense of 'meaning' or 'purpose' of life existence.

Those who practice yoga or Buddhism, they don't seek the 'meaning' or 'purpose' of life existence in anything that is subject to impermanence and selflessness, that is perishable. Even 'life', or 'life existence', or anything that is existing or related to this 'life existence', including the physical body and the modification of the mind, all actions and the fruit of actions, and the 'yoga practice' and the result of the 'yoga practice', regardless of 'good' or 'bad' qualities and 'positive' or 'negative' elements, are all subject to impermanence and selflessness.

For those who practice yoga or Buddhism, the very basic inquiry is to look into the physical body and the modification of the mind to see the truth of impermanence and selflessness of the existence and function of the physical body and the mind, that allows the mind to drop off the attachment and identification towards the physical body and the mind perception of names and forms and the related worldly life existence, as the basic foundation that leads the mind towards Self-realization, realizing selflessness/egolessness/'I'-lessness/oneness/namelessness/formlessness/attributelessness.

The physical body needs constant maintenance, to be fed from time to time to be functioning/existing/surviving, while generating/disposing many by-products at the same time, and constantly balancing between physical/mental activities and rest. When it didn't get fed enough, it will feed on itself ('eating' itself), withdrawing energy, liquid, minerals and nutrients from the body itself to feed itself to be continuing functioning/existing/surviving. If the energy supply stopped for more than a certain period of time, when it no longer can function/survive by 'eating' itself, the body will stop functioning and decomposing, or 'death' takes place. 

 

There's nothing good or bad, positive or negative, happiness or unhappiness, meaningfulness or meaninglessness, purposefulness or purposelessness about the birth and death of the physical body (of oneself and others), and all those impermanent changes of growth, decaying, aging, deteriorating and illness/injury/pain/discomfort in between birth and death. It's the same as the modification of the mind perceiving all the names and forms of a life existence through the senses via the sense organs of the physical body, that rely on Prana/energy/food/oxygen/water/nutrients/minerals supply to be functioning, constantly changing selflessly under the influence of all kinds of inputs/elements/Gunas/cause and effect.

Once the mind goes beyond the attachment and identification towards the selfless and impermanent function/existence of the physical body and the modification of the mind, then all kinds of 'pleasant/unpleasant' relationships/experiences/possessions/qualities of names and forms are just being what they are, neither meaningful nor meaningless, neither purposeful nor purposeless. There's no need of finding/having a 'meaning/purpose of life existence' in the worldly life and all that exist in it. Though one can 'cherish' all the good and happy moments/experiences with all and everyone that one loves and appreciates, but without clinging onto or labeling 'this and that' as meaningful or 'this and that' as the purpose of (my) life existence. It's like watching 'the loved ones' or 'the precious ones' passing away one by one, while being aware of this is the truth of all existence of names and forms that are impermanent and selfless. It's just whether the mind can make use of 'this' and 'now', the perception of a worldly life existence in this present moment to transcend 'itself', or 'the stream of continuous thought current of a worldly existence of names and forms/objects of the senses', or 'the ignorance towards itself'.

One just makes use the physical body, the thinking mind, the knowledge, the learning, the education, the skills, the talents, the conditions and the opportunities to be doing something for oneself and others. Without the need of the 'meaning/purpose of life existence'.

Above all, the one that needs to have the 'meaning/purpose of life existence' to feel good and meaningful to be existing, is the ego.

Freeing the mind from being conditioned by worldly thinking and belief

The minds that are under the influence of ignorance, that are ignorant towards itself is being conditioned by worldly egoistic social/cultural/religious thinking and belief, are being limited to be in certain ways and not to be in certain ways to feel good, happy and meaningful, or not. There will be judgment or identification of "If I'm like this, I'll be okay, good and happy. And if I'm not like this, I'll be not okay, not good and not happy." or "If life is like this, it's good and meaningful. And if life is not like this, it's not good and meaningless." or "Things/people should be like this or shouldn't be like that, then it's right and good, or else it's bad and wrong."

Such as many 'yoga teachers' would think and believe that they need to attend Internationally recognized 'yoga teachers training courses' and be 'qualified' and 'certified' to be 'yoga teachers', to be 'authorized' and 'allowed' to teach yoga to other people, and need to be attending ongoing 'yoga courses' to be upgrading one's knowledge and teaching skills, and also believing that 'possessing all these names and forms' would also make them responsible 'good', 'well-trained' and 'well-informed' yoga teachers. Or, many 'yoga students' who think and believe that 'yoga teachers' who attended Internationally recognized 'yoga teachers training courses' to be 'qualified' and 'certified' to be 'Internationally recognized yoga teachers affiliated with such and such yoga alliance/association/organization' as well as attending ongoing 'yoga courses' to be upgrading their knowledge and teaching skills or those who have been 'teaching yoga' for such and such years, that they must be 'good and responsible yoga teachers', or else, they are not good or responsible yoga teachers. But yoga and teaching yoga to others are not determined by all these names and forms at all.

Such as many people including many yoga enthusiasts and physical/mental health professionals, who think and believe that 'the practice of silence', 'seclusion', 'solitude', 'dispassion', 'renunciation from worldly affairs/ties/connections/relationships/activities/interactions/communications', 'refraining the mind from going out chasing after the objects of the senses that stimulate the mind and to gratify the desire of craving and aversion which empower the ego/egoism that feed the ignorance', or 'reducing/limiting mind imprints of ceaseless inputs and outputs to silent the restless modification of the mind' are something 'sad', 'bad', 'wrong', 'unhealthy', 'insane', 'mad', or 'meaningless', as all these observances appeared to be contradicted with the 'normal' and 'healthy' worldly thinking/belief/values/behavior/practice/way of living. But, these are the observances that would free the mind from ignorance and suffering.

The egoistic minds that are under the influence of ignorance and egoism need the presence of someone else or something to be constantly acknowledging/validating one's existence or purpose, or to feel 'needed/wanted' by other people, to be acknowledged and identified by oneself and others as "I am a lovable, knowledgeable, intelligent, generous, friendly, helpful, good, kind and caring person who is needed/wanted by other people to be there in their life."

Meanwhile, the minds that are free from ignorance, that are not being conditioned by worldly egoistic thinking and belief, are free being anyway, being undetermined by the quality of names and forms, impermanent changes, time, space and causation (actions and the consequences of actions), without judgment or identification of "If I'm like this, I'll be okay, good and happy. And if I'm like that, I'll be not okay, not good and not happy." or "If life is like this, it's good and meaningful. And if life is not like this, it's not good and meaningless." or "Things/people should be like this or shouldn't be like that, then it's right and good, or else it's bad and wrong."

The selfless minds that are void of ignorance and egoism don't need the presence of anyone or anything to be constantly acknowledging/validating one's existence or purpose, or to feel 'needed/wanted' by other people, to be acknowledged and identified by oneself and others as "I am a lovable, knowledgeable, intelligent, generous, friendly, helpful, good, kind and caring person who is needed/wanted by other people to be there in their life." even though they might be performing actions that are 'helping'/'supporting'/'benefiting' other people, without attachment, identification or association.

The minds that are void of ignorance and egoism have no 'problems/troubles/disturbs/hurts/disappointment/dissatisfaction' that need to be 'shared with' or 'heard by' other people, and don't need other people keep asking oneself "How are you/Are you okay?", to feel being noticed, acknowledged, heard, understood, sympathized, empathized, cared, liked, loved, helped, supported or touched by 'other people'.

It's everyone's freedom for what and how they think/believe/behave/desire/don't desire. Only those who have sufficient awareness to be aware of and acknowledge the ignorance in one's mind would have initiative to free the mind from ignorance.

Being alone doesn't induce the sense of 'loneliness'. Being alone is not something sad, bad, or unhealthy. It's the thinking that is under the influence of worldly social/cultural/religious thinking and belief about "Loneliness is deriving from being alone, and being alone is something sad, bad and unhealthy." that causing the mind thinks and feels lonely, sad, bad and unhealthy for being alone. As there are many people who are not alone also would suffer from 'loneliness', while there are people who often being alone by oneself don't suffer from 'loneliness', neither will they feel disturbed when surrounded by other people, just that they don't associate/involve with other people's actions and reactions, and they do not interfere with other people's different ways of thinking/belief/behavior/practice/living.

Most mental health professionals would suggest and encourage people who suffer from 'loneliness' to be with other people, to talk to other people, to interact with other people, or to engage in some form of physical/mental/emotional activities with other people so that they will feel less lonely, and it might make people feel less lonely when their minds are being busy with the engagement with physical/mental/emotional activities with some other people, but it doesn't really free the mind from the suffering of 'loneliness'. Because 'loneliness' is not caused by being alone, or isolation from other people, or not engaging in any activities with other people.

It's the egoism of attachment/clinging towards the presence of other people being around and the desire of craving for receiving acknowledgement, attention, empathy, sympathy, love, care, liking, understanding, or support from other people and the attachment/craving towards the mind stimulation of inputs and outputs derived from engaging in social physical/mental/emotional interactions/activities with other people, that the mind feels lonely/miserable/sad/wrong/unhealthy for being alone without any physical/mental/emotional contact with 'someone' or 'something' for an extended period of time. It's like the addiction towards certain substances and the mind will feel great/satisfied/happy/relieved momentarily within the effectiveness of the substances, but once the effect of the substances is gone, the mind will crave for getting the effect of the substances again, and again, and it will feel uneasy/unhappy/dissatisfied/irritated/agitated/anxious/aggressive/sad/miserable/sicked if it's craving for the effect of the substances is not being gratified over an extended period of time.

Just like low self-esteem, dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurts, anger, fear, worry, guilt, regret, pride, arrogance, unhappiness, meaninglessness and etc, 'loneliness' is the by-products of ignorance and egoism and being conditioned by worldly egoistic thinking and belief to think/feel/analyze/judge/behave/desire/act and react towards all the mind perception of names and forms or life experiences in certain ways, it's not coming from particular environment, condition, situation, people, things or happening being sad, bad, wrong, negative, depressing, disappointing, disturbing, hurtful or unhealthy. Such as by giving the mind what it likes and wants and not giving the mind what it doesn't like and doesn't want would give momentary satisfaction to the mind, but it doesn't free the mind from 'dissatisfaction'. By doing what the mind likes to do and achieving what the mind wants to achieve might give the mind the momentary sense of confidence, happiness and meaningfulness, but it doesn't free the mind from the sense of 'low self-esteem', 'unhappiness' and 'meaninglessness'.

'Loneliness' doesn't exist in the selfless/'I'less/egoless and silent mind. In silence and selflessness, who is there to perceive/experience/feel/identify with loneliness, low self-esteem, dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, meaninglessness, hurts, anger, fear, worry, guilt, regret, pride, arrogance and etc?

Be free.

Learn how to be alone and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored

Solitude or aloneness is being perceived by many people as something terrible or wrong that can happen to a human being. That is because people's minds are being conditioned to think and believe in that way. And there's nothing to be argued about as people's minds are thinking in certain ways and believing in certain beliefs. That's how people are being taught and brought up by their parents or the society for how people think and what to believe.

Many people never learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing, without clinging onto other people, to be surrounded by other people to be interacting or communicating with them physically and mentally. They will feel lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored, if there is a prolonged period of time that there are no people around them to be interacting with. They constantly looking/craving for physical and mental attention, love, interaction and companionship. A lot of time this is because the parents never teach or allow their children to learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored. The parents try to give maximum love and attention to their children and make sure their children always be busy with doing something and interacting with some other people, either mentally or physically, or both. They think this is good for them, this is the proper way of growth development and to show that they are good parents who love and care for their children very much.

That is also one of the important elements why there are people suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, boredom, unloved, unworthiness, meaninglessness, and so on. The children are being brought up in the way of building up intense attachment towards the love, attention, interaction and companionship from one or both of their parents or caretakers, but the parents or caretakers will not be always being by their side, and there will not be always somebody there to give them the attention, love and companionship that they like and want, that they cling onto and crave for. They never learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing. Their minds are being used to interactive stimulation, receiving inputs and expressing outputs. These minds can't stand being silence without any inputs or outputs for a few moments. The sense of loneliness, left out, unloved, unworthiness, depression, meaninglessness and boredom kicks in as soon as they are being away from family and friends that are always being close by physically, to interacting with and doing things together all the time.

Just like for the children without a father or both parents, people might think that by showing them lots of love and attention will help them and benefit them. People like to say, "People need love." and they think that it means giving or showing love (affection) to other people who need love. But what people really need is realizing the unconditional unlimited love in themselves, without expecting love (affection) through receiving love (affection) from others. If people don't know how to teach or allow the children to be independent, about how to realize love in themselves and how to be alone by themselves, that they can be happy and live life meaningfully as they are, even without one or both of the parents being by their side physically or mentally giving them personal love, attention and companionship, then when the children think they don't get enough of love, attention and companionship from the parents who are not being there for them all the time, these children will try to cling onto other people looking for attention, love, interaction and companionship.

It's okay that one doesn't have one or both of the parents being with them or to be there for them. Even if there is one or both of the parents being there for them, it doesn't mean that the parents have to or will be there all the time, that there are times that one or both of the parents might not be there for them temporary or permanently. And it's okay.

It's okay that one doesn't have anyone or friends and family members being with them or to be there for them. One can love oneself, whether doing something or doing nothing by oneself, and be happy and live life meaningfully being alone by oneself without anyone beside them to interact or communicate with physically or mentally. One has no craving for love, attention, interaction and companionship from other beings. One is peaceful as it is, being free from attachment and craving.

But all these children grow up without learning or knowing know how to be alone by themselves, and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored. They suffer from loneliness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, boredom, depression and meaninglessness, if they think there's no one there being with them or to be there for them, to interact with them, to give them love, attention, interaction and companionship.

Sooner or later, everyone will have to deal with solitude or aloneness at some stage in life whether we like it, or not. It is a natural process of life. It's something wonderful if one knows the truth of aloneness or solitude. Only those who know this, will know.

Those who don't know, they have strong aversion or fear towards solitude, afraid of being alone by themselves, and they will be suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, boredom, meaninglessness and depression if there's a gap in life where there's nobody being with them to be interacting or communicating with, physically or mentally. They think and believe that it's because they are not good enough, that's why they are being left out, unloved and being alone by themselves, that they are so pitiful without anyone, friends or family being with them, to give them love, attention and companionship, physically or mentally. They always feel that they are not good enough, that they need to be in competition with other people especially their brothers and sisters to get the maximum love and attention from their parents. They need other people to show thankfulness and appreciation for what they have done for others to feel that they and their effort of doing something are being appreciated and acknowledged. They always try very hard to please everybody to make everyone love them and acknowledge them that they are good enough and well-deserved with love and happiness. They always do things trying to make other people feel proud of them. But, they don't realize that they don't have to please anyone to make other people love them, or be proud of them. People who love them will love them as they are. Those who don't love them will not love them even if they try to please these people. And many people will take advantage of the people who want or need to be loved by other people.

Most parents or caretakers don't realize that it's how they bring up the children that had caused the children to think and believe like that, to be suffering from love seeking, attention seeking, lack of something, missing something, or craving for something, and suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, boredom, meaninglessness, and so on, through out their entire life, unless/until they realize the truth that they don't have to think and believe and suffer in such way. When they have their own family, that is also how they are going to bring up their children the way that how their parents brought them up, and most probably, their children will also end up like them, unless the children start to think for themselves and realize what is unconditional love from within oneself towards oneself.

People also perceive the state of fullness or non-separateness, where one doesn't need any other beings to be there to show love, attention and companionship, to be interacting with, to feel loved and meaningful, as something horrible or wrong. They think that these people who don't need other beings being with them to be there for them, without feeling lonely, unloved, unworthy, meaningless, left out or bored, are impossible or insane or hard, and that these people must be so lonely and unhappy and live life meaninglessly for not needing anybody being there for them, where in truth, these people are peaceful, happy and live life meaningfully without being depending on other beings' love, attention, interaction, acknowledgement and companionship to life live meaningfully, or to feel loved and worthy, or to be free from loneliness and boredom.

Those who think and believe that they need to have other people's love, attention, interaction, acknowledgement and companionship to feel loved and worthy and meaningful, to not feel lonely and bored, are not free at all. But people don't see that. And that's their freedom of thinking and believe.

Doesn't need anyone to be there for one to be happy and live life meaningfully, doesn't mean that one is rejecting love and companionship from others, but, one will enjoy and appreciate all the love and companionship from others that are available in the present moment, without craving or clinging onto the love and companionship from others to be who they are, to feel happy and meaningful, or not. And when there is absence of love and companionship from others, one is still peaceful and happy and live life meaningfully as one is.

If people still can't understand this, no one can make them understand. One has to realize this by oneself through direct experience and self-realization. Even some yoga and meditation teachers also don't understand this. They teach about in order to counter loneliness, boredom, meaninglessness, depression, low self-esteem, or unworthiness, people need to have more friends to interact with, to play with, to communicate with, to share with. And it's okay.

Be free.

Low self-esteem and the state of being free from pride are two different things

The minds are being conditioned to think and believe in a particular way to categorize everything into good and bad, right and wrong, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, positiveness and negativeness, happiness and unhappiness, appropriateness and disappropriateness, and so on. And once the mind is being conditioned to think and believe in a particular way, it's not easy to allow the mind to be opened to see things as they are, because the mind naturally and autonomously reasons and analyzes everything based on that particular thinking and belief.

People growing up being fed with many information coming from their parents, care taker, friends, religious teachers, society, medias, politicians, or leaders, and went to school/college/university to learn about many things/subjects and gathering all kind of information, and all these information become part of the thinking and belief to reason and analyze everything. But how many would reason the truth of all these information that is influencing them to reason and analyze everything?

Practicing yoga is to learn to inquire the truth of everything, without the influence of the thinking and belief in the mind, but just to see things as they are. Most of the time, people are just being different from one another, and there's nothing wrong or sick for being different from one another. But, those who attached strongly onto their own way of thinking, belief and behavior, will perceive other people who think, believe and behave differently from them as something wrong or sick.

Low self-esteem is being categorized as something not good, bad, or negative in the worldly thinking and belief. It is being treated as a form of physical/mental/emotional weakness that they think it would make a person inferior than other people. But, low self-esteem is just another by-product of ignorance and egoism, just like pride, arrogance, unhappiness, anger, hatred, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurt, animosity, offensiveness, defensiveness, violence, grief, sorrow, agitation, meaninglessness, worthlessness, loneliness, fear and worry, and so on.

If the mind is free from ignorance and egoism, low self-esteem as well as all the other form of impurities won't exist in the mind.

Worldly minded people think that in order to counter or conquest low self-esteem, they need to develop confidence and pride through accumulating knowledge, skills, achievements, friendships and widening the social interaction network. But they don't see where does low self-esteem come from.

The cause of low self-esteem is not because of lack of knowledge, skill, achievement and friendship, or having limited social interaction network. It is the worldly thinking and belief that is based on egoism about how a person should think, belief and behave in the society that categorize people into 'normal', 'rightful', 'positive' and 'healthy', or 'abnormal', 'wrongful', 'negative' and 'unhealthy', is the real cause of why people are suffering from low self-esteem when they try to comply to all the standards of the worldly thinking and belief that is based on egoism about what is a good and meaningful life that people would feel proud of, but somehow they think they are not good enough when they are unable to achieve the standard of a good and meaningful life that everyone could feel proud of. They were being told to believe that they are not good enough and their life is meaningless, if they don't achieve something that they can feel proud of themselves, or if they are unable to make other people to feel proud of them.

Even many of the yoga practitioners and teachers in the world are not free from being influenced by the worldly thinking and belief that is based on egoism.
This is a common and 'normal' and 'right' thing to say in everyday life,
"I am so proud of myself."
"I am so proud of you."
"You must be so proud of yourself."
"My parents are very proud of me."
"You should be so proud of yourself. How is it possible that you are not proud of yourself?" and so on.

If people didn't make a statement about "I am so proud of you," after other people have achieved or done something that they believe as 'good' or 'great', they will be considered as lack of empathy, unappreciative, stingy to say nice things, or being 'abnormal'. And people would feel disappointed or upset if other people didn't acknowledge their hard-work and achievement or didn't say anything about being proud of them, and it makes them think that maybe they are not good enough to be proud of themselves, or they are not good enough to make other people to be proud of them.

And, in order to help people who they think is suffering from low self-esteem, they think that they should constantly telling people, "I am so proud of you," thinking that this will help people to be free from low self-esteem, so that people won't feel bad about themselves, and will feel good about themselves. What can really help people who are suffering from low self-esteem is allowing them to understand that they are fine as they are, that they can just do their best without the intention of doing something to attain acknowledgement or appreciation from others and to feel proud of themselves, and they don't need to make other people to feel proud of them, or they don't need to keep hearing other people to tell them, "I am so proud of you," to be happy or to live a meaningful life.

It's like some people always looking for love and affection or attention from other people. If they don't hear from other people, "I love you," or "I miss you," for some time, they will feel unloved, left out and miserable. And people think that by constantly showing and telling people, "I love you," will help people to be free from unhappiness or suffering from the sense of being unloved or low self-esteem, but it doesn't, because it only empowers the attachment and the craving for receiving love and acknowledgement from others to feel being loved and meaningful. What can really help people to be free from the unhappiness or suffering from the sense of being unloved or lack of love, is allowing them to understand that they don't need love or appreciation from others at all, through realizing unconditional love in themselves, by freeing the mind from ignorance and egoism.

It's the worldly thinking and belief that is why people create unnecessary unhappiness or suffering in themselves, drowning in the desire of craving, and ceaselessly longing for receiving love and acknowledgement from other beings (humans or animals), by thinking that all beings should give and receive love and acknowledgement from one another, to feel being loved and meaningful.

Those who are free, They are happy and peaceful as they are. They appreciate all the existing love and acknowledgement from everyone as it is, but they don't need to depend on receiving love or acknowledgement from others to be happy, to feel meaningful, or to be who they are. Even if they have no parents, siblings, children, friends, or anyone being there, to show love and care for them or to acknowledged them, but they are still peaceful as they are.

Worldly minded people would relate or refer the people or children who are being free from pride, who don't have the need/desire/craving to feel proud about anything as a form of suffering from low self-esteem, lack of self-respect/self-love, or the sense of worthlessness. They believe that 'normal' and 'mentally healthy' people must have some sort of pride about themselves or towards something that is related to them in life, such like being proud of their family background, culture, religion, country, nationality, parents, siblings, children, friends, or things that they like to do or things that they can do, and etc.

Or else, they suggest that people must be suffering from low self-esteem, lack of self-respect/self-love, or worthlessness, and it's 'abnormal' and 'mentally unhealthy' for someone who doesn't have the need/desire/craving to feel proud of anything, who response to the question of "Do you feel proud of yourself? You must be so proud of yourself. Your parents and friends must be so proud of you for your achievement." with the answer of "No. I never feel proud of myself or anything. Why do I need to feel proud of myself? I don't need anyone to be proud of me either. People can be proud of me if they want. It's their freedom. It doesn't matter to me whether people are proud of me, or not. I am what I am. I'm not interested to be what other people want me to be, so that they will be proud of me."

There are children or people whom the worldly minded think that they are suffering from low self-esteem (which they are not), when they don't need to feel proud about themselves even when they had achieved great results in school or success in career, as the worldly minded think and believe that every normal and mentally healthy person should feel proud of themselves or feel proud of other people around them for being 'good' and for achieving 'great results' or 'success', that it's something wrong in their brain or mind for not feeling proud for something that the worldly minded think is good and great. But actually, people are peaceful, content, comfortable and happy as they are, when they are free from pride or the need/desire/craving to feel proud and meaningful about anything towards oneself and others, which the worldly minded have no understanding at all due to ignorance. These people or children are aware of themselves of what they achieve or don't achieve, but there's no identification or attachment towards the quality of names and forms that they possessed or don't possessed, or what they can do or cannot do, and there's no need to depend on anything to feel proud, in order to feel good or meaningful about themselves or about life.

The needlessness to feel proud of anything and the absence of meaninglessness due to the mind is free from ignorance and egoism, and the existence of the sense of low self-esteem or meaninglessness because people are being informed by the worldly minded to believe that they shouldn't be contented with being what they are, that they always have to be better than what they are, that they have to keep achieving higher standard, performance and success to feel good and meaningful, is two completely different things. And, many people become mentally disturbed, when they start to believe what they have been told by other worldly minded people that it's 'abnormal' and 'wrong', that they are mentally sick for being different from other 'normal' people.

There are children or people who don't feel the need of friends or companionship from others, who are happy being alone by themselves, or they feel fine and happy without mixing or playing or interacting with other children or people, and there's nothing wrong with that, and it's not a form of mental illness to be alone, to feel needless to have friends, or it's needless to be mixing and playing and interacting with other children or people in order to be happy, to feel meaningful, to not feel lonely, or to be 'normal'.

The children or people who are fine and happy being alone by oneself and don't need to feel proud or meaningful about anything, they are not mentally sick or in suffering at all. They are happy and peaceful as they are. But worldly minded people don't think so. They think that these people or children must be so lonely and miserable and meaningless without any friends to play with or interacting with, because that is what was being planted in their mind, "If you don't have friends to play with or interacting with, you must be lonely and miserable and meaningless."

There are people who don't need to feel sad or grief or mourn for the dead, and being indifferent towards birth and death, it's not that they are lack of empathy or mentally sick, but they have realized the truth of life existence and have gone beyond 'normal' worldly thinking and belief about birth and death, where 'normal' people would cheer and celebrate for the newborns as a form of joyfulness and blessing, and they would grieve and mourn for the dead as a form of painful sorrow and suffering.

Meanwhile, 'normal' worldly minded people would feel so unhappy, meaningless, lonely and miserable when they are alone by themselves, when they are not being with other people, thinking that they are being left out and unloved, that no one notice or appreciate them, that no one is there to love and care for them, to be friend with them, or to play and interact with them, constantly craving for and clinging onto 'friends' and 'social interactions' as well as praise and acknowledgement, in order to feel happy, meaningful, loved and 'normal', and there is aversion, fear and sadness towards solitude, illness, old age, death and separation from the people and things that they love, constantly missing the people and things that they loved when they are out of sight or unavailable. But for them, this is 'normal' and 'mentally healthy'.

No wonder the saints and sages in the past declared that "The awakened ones are awake while the others are asleep," and "The unawakened ones take suffering as bliss and take bliss as suffering." There's no debate can change another person's mind. It has to come from everyone's direct self-realization to realize what is going on in their minds.

Everyone is free for how they want to feel and what they want to do with their body and mind. Allowing everyone to feel what they feel and be different from one another, even if people believe that being prideful and full of passionate desires is 'normal' and 'healthy', while thinking that it's 'abnormal' and 'unhealthy' for some other people who are free from pride and passionate desires.

The importance of renunciation, seclusion and solitude

This is not about against happiness or meaningfulness. But it's about being free from attachment towards names and forms that give rise to the sense of happiness and meaningfulness, to realize unconditional peace that is unconditioned by names and forms that are impermanent, that is beyond the sense of happiness and meaningfulness.

All minds will feel good, happy, meaningful, loved and blessed when one is in the company of other people or family and friends who are like-minded and engaging in interactive activities with other people, appreciating good people, good company, good condition, good relationship/friendship and meaningful life. Though the mind might not necessarily be free from loneliness, meaninglessness, missingness, unhappiness and longing for interaction, when one is unable to be with other people, family or friends who are like-minded, and is not engaging in interactive activities with other people for a period of time, if there is attachment, clinging and craving towards good people, good company, good condition, good relationship/friendship and meaningful life.

It's not difficult for us to feel happy and loved when we are constantly surrounded by people who are like-minded and engaging in some forms of interactive activities together, doing something that we enjoy doing, and it makes us feel good, happy, contented, loved and blessed. But when we are unable to see or be with the people whom we love for a prolonged period of time, and we are not doing something that we like to do together for some time, we'll start to miss each other, missing the presence or togetherness or companionship and doing the things that we like to do together, and then the sense of loneliness, meaninglessness, missingness, unhappiness, and longing for interaction with other people, family and friends start to manifest in the mind. This is normal, but it also indicates that the mind is not free from ignorance and egoism, even though the mind might feel good, happy, contented, loved and blessed when we are being with other people, family and friends, whom we love to be with, and engaging in interactive activities together from time to time.

There's attachment towards love and affection, supports and interactions from people around us. This is normal for most people, but this is also the cause of suffering.

There's nothing wrong with the mind feels loved, blessed and happy when we are being with people whom we like and doing activities that we enjoy doing together. We should appreciate all the good condition, good people, good company, good relationship/friendship and meaningful life. But, a well-trained mind is free from loneliness, meaninglessness, missingness, unhappiness or longing for interaction, when it is not coming in contact with people, things and activities that it loves and enjoys.

If yoga practitioners want to know how much we have improved in the yoga practice, we can try practicing seclusion and solitude for a prolonged period of time, renouncing social activities and cutting off all sorts of communications with other people, especially family and friends whom we love very much, as well as refraining from worldly interactive activities that we enjoy doing on regular basis, for at least two to three years, or extended to five or six years. It's normal that worldly minded people are strongly against and disagree with the practice of seclusion and solitude, and that's their freedom of thinking and belief. Those who still have young children or old parents that they need to take care of, they are not ready to practice renunciation. They need to perform their worldly life duties. They can practice seclusion and solitude later.

When the mind is being isolated from people, things and activities that it likes and enjoys for a prolonged period of time, most minds would want to run back into our daily pleasure of being together and interacting with other people, family and friends who are like-minded, and whom we miss very much if we don't see them or be with them for some time. These minds have not advanced in the path of yoga, even though they might have been doing some forms of yoga activities that they enjoy doing for years, and they have learned about the teachings of yoga, and they feel happy, meaningful, loved and blessed for having nice people around them and doing things that they enjoy doing regularly, but they have not yet apply the teachings of yoga into everyday life practically, if their minds depend on being with people whom they loved and doing things that they enjoy doing to feel happy, meaningful, loved and blessed. The mind that practices yoga, that is free, will still be happy as it is, even if there are unkind and disagreeable people around, and for some reasons, it is unable to do what it would like to do. This mind doesn't need to feel loved or blessed or meaningful at all.

Yoga practitioners who think there's no need to practice non-attachment, as they are very happy enjoying a good life and they are enjoying doing some forms of yoga activities regularly, they don't have to practice seclusion and solitude. They can continue their everyday life the way that they like it to be.

Some think that they have given up worldly activities, enjoyments and community, but then they don't realize that they have attached onto what they call 'spiritual' or 'non-worldly' activities or enjoyments or community. It's still a form of attachment that will lead to suffering, whether it's worldly attachment or non-worldly/spiritual attachment. In worldly life, the mind feels unhappy and meaningless when it doesn't get to see or be with or interacting with people from its community, family and friends, and then in spiritual life, the mind feels unhappy or meaningless when it doesn't get to see or be with or interacting with its spiritual community, family and friends.

Just like letting go an unhealthy lifestyle but then attaching onto a healthy lifestyle, is not the end of suffering. For many people, they don't see or can't understand that attachment towards a healthy lifestyle would also lead to suffering. But, when the healthy lifestyle that they love very much is inaccessible for some unforeseen circumstances, they will then understand. Just like people get very upset and frustrated when the good things that they love very much are being damaged or destroyed by some other people, or there's obstacles that obstruct them from getting the good things that they love and want.

Yoga practitioners who think non-attachment is indeed a very important element in the path of yoga, but they think they don't have attachment towards what they like to do and enjoy in everyday life, they can try to practice seclusion and solitude for a prolonged period of time, to see how much the mind has developed in non-attachment.

Unattached towards both worldly and non-worldly/spiritual activities, enjoyments and community.

If the mind is well-developed in non-attachment, this mind can live in the world as it is and appreciate all the good people, good company, good condition, good relationship/friendship and meaningful life, but it's free from clinging and longing, and suffering. It's unconditioned or undetermined by the impermanent qualities of name and form, whether it's in the form of worldly or non-worldly/spirituality. When all these good and meaningful names and forms changed and disappeared or are unavailable, there's no suffering.

Loneliness?

Loneliness doesn't exist in the minds that are free from ignorance and egoism, even when being by oneself alone, without engaging in any personal relationship, or friendship, or contact with anyone, or without engaging in any forms of mental or physical social interactions and activities, as there is no sense of separateness of time, space and causation in the minds that are selfless/compassionate. 

 

The minds are peaceful and contented as they are, being free from clinging onto the existing companionship, love and support from other beings, being free from craving towards the companionship, love and support from other beings that are non-existing in the present, being free from aversion towards the absence of companionship, love and support from other beings in the present, and being free from aversion towards losing the existing companionship, love and support from other beings.

The sense of loneliness and all the other forms of impurities such like separateness, restlessness, dissatisfaction, meaninglessness, emptiness, boredom and all sorts of fear will keep following the egoistic minds that are under the influence of ignorance and egoism, wherever they are and whatever condition they have, even when these minds are having a good life in a good living environment and a good condition of the physical body, and they are surrounded by many other beings, being engaged in different relationships and friendships with many other beings, and being busy with all sorts of worldly mental and physical social interactions and activities, as there are attachment of clinging and the desire of craving and aversion in the mind that give rise to the sense of loneliness and all other forms of impurities.

Realize selflessness and be free from ignorance and egoism, being unattached towards the life existence and function of the body and mind that are selfless and subject to impermanence, and being undetermined by any qualities of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses that are also impermanent, and the mind will be free from loneliness and all other forms of impurities.

Otherwise, the mind ceaselessly looking for or relying on receiving companionship, love and support from other beings to occupy itself with some forms of mental or physical social interactions and activities, to get rid of loneliness, dissatisfaction, boredom, emptiness, meaninglessness and so on. 

 

There's nothing wrong with trying to get rid of loneliness or boredom by keeping the mind busy engaging with someone or something, but then the mind will become restless, where the mind couldn't 'unwind' or 'shut down' naturally, affecting the mental and physical health and relationships with everyone. In serious cases, people might hurt themselves and/or others either out of loneliness/boredom or restlessness, whether directly or indirectly.

For those who are sincere in their yoga practice to 'know thyself', to be free from 'ignorance and suffering', who might think that they have a 'good', 'contented', 'positive' and 'happy' mind, can try to live alone in solitude and seclusion being isolated from 'the world' for a prolong period of time, and one will find out the true state of the mind, or whether the mind is free from attachment and desire, or not.

Be free.

Seeking for love, attention, support, agreement, companionship, interactions, authority, name and fame?

Seeking for love, attention, support, agreement, companionship, interactions, success, authority, name and fame from the world of the mind perception of names and forms, is the play of the ego.

All these desires derived from egoism, to get rid of the perceptions or feelings of emptiness, meaninglessness, deficiency, loneliness and dissatisfaction.

Get rid of the ego, be free from egoism, realize selflessness, and all these longing and craving will disappear.

The one and only 'problem' that we 'have' if we think we have problems in this life existence, is the ego and egoism.

Once the ego is eliminated, actions are being performed without the influence of craving and aversion, selfish intention, desire and expectation of wants and don't wants, nor being determined by the result of actions.