Possessiveness, jealousy, control, self-righteousness, and hurtful behavior

One of the common habitual thinking and behavior pattern in the world of human beings under many different diversities having different qualities of names and forms is -

"I love you, you are mine."

"If I can't have you, no one else can have you."

"If I can't control you, I will destroy you."

"If you are/I am bad and wrong, I will hurt (punish) you/myself."

"If you go against (don't obey) me (my desire/wish/aspiration), I will hurt (punish) you."

"If I can't enjoy this, no one else can enjoy this."

"If I am in some kind of painful suffering, you all should also be in the same kind of painful suffering." 

All these are the synonyms of one another.

Possessiveness

Jealousy

Control

Self-righteousness 

Hurtful behavior

All are the by-products of ignorance/the idea of 'I'/egoism/restlessness.

 

This is not merely as simple as about someone is being born with certain condition of being needy or attention seeking, but upon not getting everyone and everything to be exactly the way that it desires (the urge to control and self-righteousness) or upon not getting the full attention/ownership that it desires to be getting (possessiveness and jealousy), the mind would generate hurtful behavior that would hurt itself and others or objects that it thinks and believes that it loves very much, that it thinks and believes and desires that everyone and everything that it loves, should belong to itself (and only to itself), and everyone and everything that it loves should always be in accordance to its desire towards how it wants everyone and everything should be like.

Such mind would hurt itself and others or objects that it thinks and believes that it loves very much, when some others express liking and compliment towards the people and objects that it thinks and believes that it loves very much but not really, as that hurtful behavior indicates that it doesn't love anyone or anything, not even itself, but merely 'unwittingly/unconsciously/autonomously' being the slave of the desire of craving and aversion/possessiveness/jealousy/the urge to control/self-righteousness, and impulsively generating actions and reactions that are hurtful and destructive upon ungratified desires.

There are minds that are being born with the condition of being needy and attention seeking, but they don't necessarily have the hurtful tendency/impulse/idea of hurting themselves and others or objects upon ungratified desires, as they have certain degrees of clarity of thinking and correct understanding under the presence of conscious awareness towards "Don't want to hurt anyone or anything, regardless of likable or dislikable, agreeable or disagreeable, and desirable or undesirable affairs/beings/objects/conditions/situations," or "Don't want to hurt someone or something especially the people and objects that one loves very much," even if their specific condition of neediness and attention seeking as well as their desires are not being gratified.

It is a common thinking and behavior pattern (a common mental illness/corruption under different degrees or intensity) that exists in all minds, of all age, in all fields, in all affairs, in the family ties and connection, in the relationship/interaction with other living beings/objects/experiences/activities/surrounding environment, in the social friendship, in the community, in the school, in the work place, in all kinds of organizations, in anywhere and everywhere, in the minds that think and believe and acknowledge that themselves are extremely good and righteous and superior, and in the minds that think and believe and acknowledge that themselves are bad and wrongful and inferior, and desire to be good and righteous and superior, except the minds that had conquered or transcended the selfless impermanent limited and conditional modifications of themselves, that know Thyself.

A common (natural, and yet, evitable) mind disease that manifests in oneself, that not only affects/hurts/damages oneself, but also everyone and everything and the surrounding environment that oneself comes in contact with.

However, like all kinds of names and forms, this common mental disease/corruption/hurtful behavior pattern is also selfless, impermanent, limited, conditional, and non-self, that doesn't belong to the selfless impermanent limited and conditional existence and function of the perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting mind that is neither good nor bad, neither pure nor impure, neither right nor wrong, neither positive nor negative, neither superior nor inferior, which can be weakened and eliminated (cured) under specific cause and pace, that can only be activated by the conscious mind itself, alone, under the presence of conscious awareness, of being conscious/acknowledging towards this hurtful thinking and behavior pattern in itself, and having the conscious freewill/desire to be free from all that, of want to stop hurting itself and others, through engaging in conscious action taking, of consciously activating the (prolonged and persevered) mind purification/silencing process under the help of certain physical and mental observations and practices, under the presence of non-grasping and non-violence or non-forcing.

A mind that is either wittingly/consciously or unwittingly/autonomously/unconsciously being possessive, jealous, controlling, self-righteous, and hurtful, can change and be free from possessiveness, jealousy, the urge to control, self-righteousness, and hurtful behavior, only if it wants to change and be free.

Inquire the truth of everything.