There are many different ways to cope with all kinds of suffering in
the world to an extent, or even to be free from suffering, especially in
the suffering involving traumatic/disturbing/hurtful/abusive life
experiences. Some people might keep to themselves hiding in the dark,
while some people might try to get external help from professional
psychologists or spiritual healers, and some might turn to drugs or
engage in some form of activities to escape the mental or emotional pain
momentarily.
Most of the time, when people try to look for help from the outside,
it would involve third parties showing loving kindness, sympathy,
empathy and supports towards the victim of suffering, by sharing,
caring, listening, and giving helps physically, mentally,
psychologically and emotionally to the suffering beings to ease or
relieve their suffering, as well as there’s condemn towards those who
inflict suffering onto others.
If one doesn’t know how to be free from continuously be disturbed by
painful experiences (past and present), it will affect one’s
relationships with everyone.
In the teachings of yoga, it’s beyond third parties showing love and
care and supports towards the suffering beings to ease or relieve their
suffering, or to condemn those who inflict suffering onto others. But it
is guiding and allowing people to help themselves and love themselves
without the need of sympathy/empathy/supports/comforts from third
parties, to see the truth of suffering through purifying and silencing
the mind, to free one’s mind from the root cause of all sufferings –
ignorance and egoism.
A lot of times, the teachings of yoga that would lead the impure
suffering ignorant egoistic minds towards the realization of the truth
of suffering, are not something that the worldly egoistic minds would
agree with, or like to hear and practice, particularly for the minds who
think and believe that they are ‘good’ and ‘kind’ human beings, that
are being conditioned by worldly egoistic thinking and practice about
performing good and kind actions in certain way that they think how it
should be.
Those who are free from suffering through self-realization of the
truth of suffering, there is no hurt that needs to be healed. There's no 'the victim of suffering' that needs help, healing, support, comfort, sympathy or empathy. There’s no
anger, hatred, fault finding, blame, condemn, avenge, or punishment
towards ‘the suffering’, ‘the sufferer’, ‘the cause of suffering’, or
‘those who directly or indirectly inflicted the suffering’. There’s no
need self-blaming or blaming others. There’s no need to be bitter, to be
shameful about, to be sympathized, to be healed, or to attain revenge.
It’s not about forgetting the unpleasant experiences either. It’s
knowing what is non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving,
non-aversion and non-expectation. The memory of the unpleasant
experiences might still be there after very long time, but it has no
power or intention to keep disturbing or hurting the mind unless the
mind allows that memory to be continuing disturbing and hurting itself.
One acknowledges/confronts the unpleasant experience or the memory of
the unpleasant experience which couldn’t be undone, without attachment,
identification, craving, aversion, or expectation. One is free and has
peace, being undisturbed and undetermined by past or present unpleasant
experiences inflicted by ignorant beings out of ignorance.
The experience of suffering, or the perception of ‘I’ am suffering
(whether ‘I’ think it’s because ‘I’ am ‘bad’ and ‘sinful’ (self-blaming)
or it’s because other people are ‘bad’ and ‘evil’), is born out of
ignorance. The actions and the performers of the actions that inflict
suffering onto others or themselves, whether directly or indirectly,
intentionally or unintentionally, are born out of ignorance. But
ignorance is not ‘the one’ to be blamed for suffering either. There’s
none/nothing to be blamed at all for the existence of suffering
inflicted by ignorant behavior.
Those who have realized the truth of life existence consisting the
impermanent and selfless existence and function of the
impure/ignorant/egoistic mind and the impermanent selfless and limited
physical body, whom have realized selflessness and compassion, they
won’t be traumatized/disturbed/hurt/abused by what the worldly
conditioned impure/ignorant/egoistic mind think and believe as
‘traumatic’, ‘disturbing’, ‘hurtful’ or ‘abusive’ life experiences. They
might suffer from certain short term or long term physical wounds from
those unpleasant experiences, but their minds are free from mental and
emotional suffering that actually derived from conditioned reactions out
of ignorance and egoism from one’s impure mind towards what the mind
perceives as ‘traumatic’, ‘disturbing’, ‘hurtful’, or ‘abusive’
experience.
This doesn’t mean that the abuse, the victim of abuse, the abuser and
the abusive behavior don’t exist at all, or the mind has ‘incorrect’
perception about the unpleasant/unkind abusive experience. But, the
liberated mind has no identification as ‘the victim of the abuse’, and
has gone beyond the perception of experiencing something that the
worldly ignorant egoistic mind recognizes as ‘wrong’, ‘bad’,
‘undeserving’, ‘hurtful’, ‘disturbing’ or ‘abusive’, and it
confronts/observes the experience and those whom directly or indirectly,
intentionally or unintentionally involve in that experience with
compassion, being aware of all kinds of
disturbing/abusive/hurtful/torturing actions are born out of ignorance.
The realization of selflessness and compassion transcends all kinds
of suffering inflicted by ignorant behavior born out of ignorance.
Meanwhile those who perform ignorant behavior out of ignorance will bear
the consequences of their actions due to the law of nature, even though
‘the victim’ of other people’s ignorant behavior who is free from
ignorance doesn’t suffer mentally or emotionally for other people’s
‘wrong’, ‘bad’, ‘undeserving’, ‘hurtful’, ‘disturbing’, or ‘abusive’
behavior out of ignorance.
All minds have the freedom to feel angry, hurt, traumatized,
disturbed, or depressed, when they experience something that the minds
recognize as ‘wrong’, ‘bad’, ‘undeserving’, ‘disturbing’, ‘hurtful’ and
‘abusive’. But why should we suffer for other people’s ignorant
behavior that our minds think and believe as ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’? We don’t
have to. We have the choice not to suffer for other people’s
ignorance. By allowing ourselves to suffer for other people’s ‘wrong’
and ‘bad’ behavior is actually coming from ourselves
self-harming/self-abusing our body and mind, out of ignorance and
egoism. People are not aware that actually everyone has been constantly
self hurting/abusing/torturing their own body and mind with ceaseless
impure egoistic reactions of anger, hatred, jealousy, greed,
dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear, worry, craving, aversion, and
etc, from the past to the present, whether intentionally or
unintentionally.
Those who realized selflessness and are compassionate, they stop
hurting/abusing/torturing their own body and mind as their minds are
free from ignorance, egoism and impurities, as well as they don’t suffer
for other people’s ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ behavior derived from ignorance,
egoism and impurities, even though there might be physical damages or
painful/unpleasant sensations in the body and mind caused by other
people’s ignorant behavior.
When one is free from suffering, or is being undisturbed/undetermined
by other people’s bad and wrongful behavior, it doesn’t mean that one
is agreeing or supporting other people’s ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ behavior, or
actionlessly allowing ignorant beings to inflict ignorant behavior onto
one’s body and mind. One can do one’s best to prevent/protect oneself
from other people’s ignorant behavior, but one has no attachment or
expectation towards one’s actions and the result of the actions, and has
complete understanding towards all the ignorant impure actions and
reactions in the world are all born out of ignorance, egoism and
impurities.
There’s no craving or aversion towards pleasant or unpleasant
experiences. There’s no expectation towards only experiencing pleasant
experiences and don’t experience any unpleasant experiences. But one is
undisturbed and undetermined by the absence of pleasant experiences or
the presence of unpleasant experiences, even after one has done one’s
best to enjoy pleasant experiences and avoid unpleasant experiences.
If one realizes the truth of selflessness and compassion, one will be
free from feeling or continuously feeling
angry/hurt/traumatized/disturbed/depressed towards unpleasant life
experiences that ignorant egoistic impure minds recognized or perceived
as traumatic, disturbing, depressing, hurtful, or abusive. One is able
to confront all kinds of ‘perceivable’ suffering with peace and
compassion, and stands as a witness and be compassionate towards the
experience (the suffering), the one who suffers (the body and mind, or
what the worldly minds labelled as the victim), and the ones who inflict
the suffering (the minds that behaving under the influence of
ignorance, egoism and impurities).
May all be free from all kinds of physical, mental, psychological and
emotional sufferings through silencing the mind to realize the truth of
suffering, selflessness and compassion, and be free from suffering of
anger, hatred, jealousy, avenge, hurts, guilt, regret, self-harm,
self-blame, disappointment, painful sorrow, fear and worry due to past
and present traumatic/disturbing/hurtful/abusive life experiences.
It’s everyone’s freedom whether they choose to be disturbed by
something that is happening in the present, and continuously be
disturbed or haunted by their past traumatic/disturbing/abusive life
experiences and feel angry, hurt and bitter, or they can choose to let
it go and have peace.
One can choose to put down or continuously holding onto a burning hot object that is hurting the hand.
No one says it’s easy to let go, but one can try if one wants. None can force oneself to let go if one doesn't want to let go.
Be free.
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