My life stories - Part 15 (Letting go)

My life Stories – Part 15 (Letting go)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

Here we are. In France, in this present moment.

We had no idea of how, what, and where, at the time when we decided that we wanted to go somewhere else. We only knew that we had to leave this place and go somewhere else. We knew that we needed to organize certain things that needed to be done that allowed things to be happening. We had been living on our savings for the past two years, and it will be running out soon. We needed to make use of the remaining savings to seek opportunity somewhere else, to be in a place that welcomes us, that allows us to be making an honest living, that enables us to live a simple life.

It's not an issue for me at all, to let go all our 'things', to leave a familiar place that we have been living in for many years, or to go somewhere else to start a new life where there are many things that I am not familiar with, that I have to learn or relearn, and to make adjustment, adaptation and accommodation. As I never have strong attachment towards places, things, activities, cultures, food, or people. And I'm always open and ready for learning and experiencing something that I'm not familiar with, that I've never come in contact before. I am without any expectation.

In the beginning, we were considering about moving to Taiwan. We like, and want to support the democracy and freedom of expression that exists in Taiwan.

My husband had a few years of experience in teaching young children in a school when he was living in France many years ago, and in the beginning when he moved to live with me in Malaysia, he mentioned to me that he was interested to do a TEFL course.

I encouraged him to take up an online TEFL course in May 2021 during the prolonged lockdown in Malaysia, as there might be possible opportunity for him to find an English teaching job in Taiwan. Investment in education or further studies is always the best kind of investment one could have, that is never wasted. The knowledge and skill that we learned will always enhance our life in certain ways, even if we don't make a professional living out of it.

At the same time, I encouraged him to keep an eye on any job opportunity anywhere in Europe, especially France, as we both love many things about France very much. He lived in France for twelve years in the past. He had many years of experience in the field of hotel and restaurant management, on top of our many years of teaching yoga and running retreats. It doesn't matter if the salary is just enough for us to survive, we just needed to be opened, and seize any opportunity that allows us to start a new life, somewhere, anywhere, it doesn't matter.

Not long after we considered about moving to Taiwan, news came about the political tension building up between China and Taiwan, as well as the border closing not receiving any foreign teachers at that time due to the pandemic, which made us reconsidered about many things, and decided not to go there at this time being.

And if he didn't manage to get any job offer by the end of December, we will just buy a one way flight ticket to enter France via Paris, and then we will decide where we want to go in France, especially somewhere in the south, as there is where we would like to live in, even though we still didn't know where exactly and whether he would be able to get a job, or if we would be able to do something for a living. We also knew that it might not be easy for my husband to get a job at his age and during this crazy pandemic. But I said to my husband, "Just try, and see what happens." My husband would prefer to have certain degrees of certainty to feel 'secured', but I have no fear towards the unknown. All I know is that just follow what life brings to us, be opened, and see what happens. France is also very close to Ireland. My husband's parents are a lot older now, and their health is not as good as before, and so, it will be easier for us to visit them in the near future.

I just needed two months time to give notice to terminate the apartment's rental agreement as well as to organize everything that needed to be done before we leave this country. I needed to sort out any thing that is related to legal paper works that deals with the different government departments, both this and the other country, on top of clearing everything out from the apartment and selling my car, while doing our best not to contract the virus, so that we can fly out on the departure day. I had no idea of how things should be done, but I just did it one by one, as I went along.

Even when our landlord and some other friends asked us where were we heading to, we told them that nothing is confirmed, which was true, and they all couldn't understand and puzzled, "What? You are leaving Malaysia but you don't know where you are going? Really?"

Things didn't fall into places until the last minute.

In the beginning after my husband sent out many job applications for vacancy at hotel and restaurant, there were no replies. My husband was a little disappointed and felt down about himself. I said to him, "It's not that you are not good enough, and your age is not an issue, but things didn't happen as it's not the right timing." And it doesn't matter if he couldn't get any job, as I will think of something that I can do to make a living. I also told him that he should put his past 16 years experience on practicing yoga, teaching yoga and running yoga retreats, as well as Yoga Now Malaysia's profile into his resume. And then, great things started to happen.

A four star hotel under a big name, as well as two other hotels, a 5 star boutique hotel and a 3 star hotel chain replied, and they were interested to have an online interview with him. He chose to go for the interview with the four star hotel as it is located in the Alps which is a very nice area to live in. During the interview, he just needed to be himself, a very warm, kind and friendly person. He went through three separate interviews with different managers, and he was given the job in the end. Even though nothing was actually confirmed until the moment we arrived and he signed the work contract.

It was a challenging process with a few hiccups from the preparation of the journey of moving until we arrived at our final destination, especially organizing things that needed to be done and travelling during the pandemic amid the surge of 'Omicron', but we managed to glide through all the obstacles one by one.

We wanted to let go most of our stuffs and just keep some important documents and few things that worth nothing but are important to us in our life. We packed our things into three small boxes to send by post before we left, and then another 2 suitcases and 2 backpacks with mostly heavy winter clothing and some important documents to come with us into the flight.

We knew that during the pandemic, it's not easy to give away our things, not to say, to sell some of our things that are still in very good condition. Thankfully, three of our yoga students would take all of our yoga stuffs. While there were some charity organizations in town that were interested in receiving certain household things, but they wouldn't come to pick up the stuffs.

And then one day, while I was waiting at the dental clinic as my husband was having his teeth cleaned up, I asked the receptionist for a recommendation of a lorry driver, that I have household things to clear out from the apartment. Just happened that a lady was there to accompany her uncle for dental work and she over heard our conversation, and was really excited to introduce her uncle to me, where this uncle who is a chicken seller at the morning market has just received his new low cost apartment, but he has no budget for buying furniture and household things for his new home. This uncle was very happy to take some of our stuffs and he would organize a lorry to come to pick up the stuffs from us. We also gave away the remaining of all our things to the Nepali security guards and the Indonesian and Bangladeshi cleaners at our condominium. They were very happy about it.

We wanted to get our booster vaccination before we left, if possible. We were being told that we needed to wait for our appointment given by the health ministry which won't be happening until after the end of February, however, on the last week of December, my husband found out from twitter that we could call the hospital and ask if we can walk in on certain day. We called the hospital, and they gave us an appointment date on the 31st of December. And so, we went and got our booster shot on the last day of 2021. We were so lucky that we could get that done before our flight because of the vaccine mandate in France, as one day later the Malaysian government announced that walk-in was no longer available.

I also found a second hand car dealer agent to let go of my 19 years old car that had significantly improved the quality of my life, that had served us and the retreat guests nicely over the years. I signed the selling contract a few weeks before we left, but I could keep using the car until the day before we left. The agent told us that he was very 'touched' when I asked him about how much petrol I needed to keep for him on the day of delivery. He said just a quarter tank would be enough, but in the end, I left him with almost full tank of petrol.

And then, just a few days before we moved out from the apartment, the kitchen's floor tiles shifted and mounted, where underneath the tiles was completely hollow due to poor quality of the building construction, which we informed the landlord immediately. For that last few days, we couldn't walk over those tiles, and we were like walking on the edge of a cliff whenever we wanted to use the kitchen. Anyway, we cleaned up the apartment and did a video recording of checking everything in the apartment on the last morning to prove that everything is in good order when we return the apartment to the landlord. We were glad that we did.

After we sort out everything regarding the apartment with the landlord, and received our deposit from him, as he was satisfied with the apartment was in good condition apart from the mounted kitchen's floor tiling which was not our responsibility, we moved to a hotel in town for our last few days in Penang. We were very careful to keep social distancing with other people until we got our PCR test done on the day before the flight, and we were glad that we had a negative result. But, hiccups had just begun.

Even though our first flight was in the evening, we arrived at the airport just before 2.30 pm for checking our supposedly confirmed connecting flights from Penang to Kuala Lumpur to Dubai to Paris. Again, we were glad that we did. The representative at the check-in counter told us that the flight that we were supposed to get on from Penang to Kuala Lumpur in that evening didn't exist, and the last flight available had just left. We didn't receive any email about changes of flight detail from the airline. They told us that they couldn't do anything to help us and that we needed to contact the airline directly to arrange a different connection. They said that we could try to get the airline to change us to another flight that goes to Subang Airport, but then it will be another long transfer from Subang Airport to KLIA. We really didn't want to risk ourselves exposing to too many individuals during the pandemic. Or else, the airline could change our flights to another day, but that is not possible for us because the immigration department had decided to end my husband long term social visit pass on that particular day, even though the initial expiry date was in March and we had asked them to end the pass on a few days later so that if anything happens that we couldn't fly out on that day (knowing that anything can happen during the pandemic), we still can have a few days time to do something about it.

We had tried to call different numbers of the airline for about an hour, but there was nobody answering. It was about 3.30 pm, and we needed to be in KLIA before 9.00 pm. I said to my husband, we could either get a rental car to KLIA immediately, or we could see if there would be some other flights that could get us to KLIA or KLIA2, regardless of how much it would cost us. We just needed to get things done.

Luckily, there was an AirAsia flight to KLIA2 departing at 4.30 pm. The representative was very helpful to immediately get us the ticket and checked us in by 4.00 pm, and we were running so fast towards the security check and then running to the gate which was located at the very end of the departure hall, even though they said that the flight would wait for us. What they didn't tell us was that the flight was delayed about 15 minutes. Anyway, we had a few minutes to catch our breath before boarding. Our seat numbers given were 32, which didn't exist on that plane, as they had changed from the initial bigger plane to a smaller plane. We were told to wait at the end of the cabin watching everyone coming on board. After everyone were on board, they gave us the priority seats in front of the plane. We were thankful to AirAsia and the friendly helpful staffs. Did the hiccups end there? Not really.

After we arrived in KLIA2, we got our checked baggage and took the train to KLIA, which we shouldn't be doing if we had had our connecting flights all the way from Penang to Paris as what it supposed to be, but it wasn't.

Anyway, we got to KLIA, and went to the check-in counter to complain about what happened, even though it wasn't check-in time yet for our flight from Kuala Lumpur to Dubai to Paris. They said they couldn't do anything, but they could check us in at that time, and we could drop the baggage afterwards when the counter reopened for our flight check-in.

I always have travel sickness issue since young. We also haven't been travelling since the beginning of the pandemic. I also happened to be menstruating during those few days. I thought I did well after taking the taxi from the hotel to the airport, and then taking the flight from Penang to KLIA2, and then taking the train from KLIA2 to KLIA, but I wasn't. I guessed the underlying stress from dealing with the 'non-existing flight' and 'rushing for boarding the first flight' had been accumulating in my body. I vomited for a few times on the first flight and couldn't drink or eat much in order to stop the vomiting. I apologized to the lady who sat beside us for causing any disturbance. Luckily, I felt much better on the second flight, and I was fine after we landed in Paris. Although the handles of one of our baggage was damaged when we went to collect our baggage, but the wheels were still functioning fine, and we were so grateful that we finally arrived in France, safely.

We stayed two nights in Paris to get a good rest from the long journey. My husband also needed to get some clothing for his new job. Somehow, I lost our empty Yoga Now tote bag along the way, which I had to let go as well. We had two beautiful sunny days in Paris before we took two train rides to the Alps. We had enjoyed our very nice first meal in Paris. We had the super tasty Gratin at Le Bistro des Augustins. We also got very nice croissant and pain au chocolat from the bakery.

We went to the train station after checked out from the hotel. As scheduled, we boarded the train and were waiting for the train to go on time, as what it supposed to be. We would have about an hour 15 minutes between the two trains, thinking that we could have our picnic lunch outside the train station before catching our second train, as eating and drinking was not allowed on the train at that time. After waiting for about 30 minutes while watching all the other trains departed from the train station, but our train was still in the idle mode, we were told to move to another train. The next train arrived shortly and we had to wait for another 30 minutes for it to depart. Luckily, we still had 10 minutes to catch the other train.

The hotel management was very thoughtful. They had arranged someone to pick us up from the train station, prepared a very nice and comfortable junior suite room for us to stay temporary until we find our own place to live. That was a great surprise to us, as we thought we would be staying in a double room only. The three boxes that we had sent from Malaysia were already placed in the room. When we arrived in that evening, it was 0 degree, and we haven't eaten anything yet. But the room is comfortably warm, and there's a simple equipped kitchen in the room for us to prepare our own meals as well as there's a dining table. It makes things easier for us, as we wouldn't be able to afford eating out in France. We walked to the nearest supermarket and got ourselves some fresh bread and cheese, fruits and cherry tomatoes, and went back to the room and had a very nice first meal in the Alps.

Since we arrived, everyone that we met, especially all my husband's colleagues in the hotel, were all super friendly and nice. There's no sense of superiority or discrimination here. My husband told me that any kind of discrimination is against the law in France. There are pavements everywhere, and cars actually stop to let pedestrians crossing the road. In Malaysia, we have to put out our hand to stop the cars in order to run across the road as fast as possible even when it's green light for pedestrians to cross, but in France, cars naturally stop for us to cross the road, and in return, we give a hand gesture to say thank you.

On the next day, when the sun has risen, we realized that the view from our hotel room was absolutely incredible. For the next few days, we had very nice sunny days, where we went out to explore the town and further out of the town, to get a feel of where things are, before my husband commits to his new job. I only know very few french words at the moment, and would need to depend on my sign language for certain things. That's okay.

Another important reason why we decided to leave Malaysia and move to Europe is that as a citizen of Malaysia, I don't get much social security or retirement benefits from the government, not to say, as a foreigner, my husband won't be getting any social security or old age retirement benefits from the government for being married to me and living in Malaysia, and for sure, we are now gradually transitioning towards old age. Our old age retirement is very much depending on our savings, which is being highly affected by the pandemic and the long term consequences of it. While as tax paying Europeans and their spouse, they are eligible to be living and working anywhere in Europe, and are eligible for social security, health care and retirement benefits from the government. And most importantly, is about the presence and absence of humanity, freedom of expression, non-discrimination and equal rights.

We had some hiccups along the way, but we also received unexpected helps from somewhere whenever we needed it. We were so grateful for everything. We met very friendly and helpful people. We managed to file a complaint to the airline under the help of one of the airline representatives in KLIA, and the airline responded and would give us back the money that we had paid for the flight getting to KLIA. We also got some compensation from the train delay.

Even though we can't afford to eat out, but the cost of food here in France, particularly in the supermarket, is surprisingly much cheaper than in Malaysia. We always like to have our own home cooked meals. There are many things that my husband wants to do, and food that he likes to eat, are accessible and affordable to us here in France, which it's not the case while we were living in Malaysia. We have been eating well. We sleep well. We have been well looking after. Life is very kind to us. 

Thank you.

READ ON

The widely misuse of 'Gratefulness' and 'Contentment'

'Gratefulness' is a natural reflection of 'Contentment' (and vice versa) in oneself arising from within oneself, regardless of whether there's a reason for it, or not. It's neither something good nor bad, as it doesn't change the truth of names and forms being what it is, even though the presence of the sentiment or the thought of 'gratefulness' and 'contentment' in the mind can help certain people to get through certain challenging difficulties in life more easily.

But, nowadays, 'Gratefulness' or 'Contentment' has become something that is widely being misused by many people trying to 'advice' or 'threaten' other people, either wittingly or unwittingly, out of certain intention, expecting other people to be grateful or content, by telling other people, "You all should be grateful and content for the good things that you already have, and shouldn't be difficult or complaining about anything else." Some people believe in and tell others, "If you don't know how to be grateful, all your good karma will be gone, and bad karma will come to you."

Some even propagate, "Just by being alive and still breathing in this present moment, people should be grateful and content. Why are people complaining about non-functional government, selfish politics, poverty, corruption, discrimination, unjust, prejudice, crimes, violence, or some other forms of human imperfections?" or "You have a good and comfortable life, you should be grateful for the privilege that you have, why do you want to be busybody minding about other people's suffering and get yourself into 'troubles'?"

Showing concern and going against towards the existence of all kinds of unnecessary suffering in the diverse human society resulting from non-functional bias and corrupted system and leadership run by human beings under the influence of survival instinct, selfishness, greed and self-righteousness deriving from ignorance and egoism, is nothing to do with being ungrateful or discontented towards 'All the good things that we already have.'

Being at peace, being grateful and content in the present moment now with or without particular reason, while being undetermined or undisturbed by all kinds of suffering and difficulties resulting from ignorance and corruptions in the world, accepting the perceived reality in the present moment now as it is, regardless of whether it is pleasant/desirable or unpleasant/undesirable, as the mind is void of egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment or expectation, it doesn't mean that one is void of selfless actions, or one is keeping quiet, agreeing, supporting, encouraging, ignoring, or denying towards all kinds of ignorance and corruptions that are existing in this world of selflessness and impermanence.

Meanwhile, performing selfless actions showing concern and going against towards the existence of many unnecessary suffering resulting from ignorance and corruptions in this world of selflessness and impermanence, it doesn't mean that one cannot be peaceful, or should be disturbed and determined by all kinds of suffering and difficulties mentally or emotionally, or is being ungrateful or discontented, or is under the influence of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment or expectation. The teaching and practice of non-attachment, non-identification, desireless, non-judgment and non-expectation doesn't mean that one should just stand there not moving away from being abused by some abusers while encouraging more abuse to be happening.

The poison itself has no intention to be poisonous, or not. Knowing something is poisonous and still want to take the poison as the mind strongly believes in "I am fit and healthy, I am protected from being harmed by anything," and suffer from it, is pure ignorance. It's nothing to do with non-attachment or non-judgment.

The 'neither right nor wrong' in the teaching and practice of non-judgment, is about non-attachment towards or going beyond the conditional qualities of names and forms that are subject to selflessness and impermanence, it's not about approving wrongfulness, or seeing everything as all good, right or positive and nothing bad, wrong or negative. The truth of names and forms are neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative, but the egoistic intention of human's impure mind that put into the selfless intentionless names and forms can generate beneficial or harmful consequences.

Those who know this, they can be doing their best, performing necessary actions in the world that might help the world to have less unnecessary suffering and difficulties due to ignorance and corruptions, without attachment, identification, desire, judgment or expectation towards their actions and the fruit of their actions, or towards the world of selflessness and impermanence governed by the nature's law of cause and effect, while being undisturbed and undetermined by all kinds of ignorance and corruptions. 

There is no such thing as "Be grateful and content for all the good things that we already have, that we are still alive and still breathing, and need not be concerning or complaining towards all kinds of ignorance and corruptions in the world," as that is merely something created out of the egoistic selfish intention of certain ambitious people who want less obstacles hindering them from achieving their selfish greedy ambitions, may it be something political, religious, spiritual, ethnical or cultural under a particular thinking, belief, values and aspiration.

For example, a good and functional and humble 'authority' will not and don't need to tell the people to be grateful and stop complaining about anything, by oppressing freedom of expression. It's only a corrupted and non-functional and arrogantly defensive 'authority' will 'tell', or 'remind', or 'threaten' the people to 'be grateful', as they don't like and would disallow any complaint and criticism towards their shortcomings, as they are too arrogant to acknowledge shortcomings in them, not to say, to consider other people's knowledge and different opinions that could help them to be more functional.

The world's history is formed by actions and the consequences of actions. The history of human beings is made by human beings, either intentionally or unintentionally, and our actions in the present moment now, determining what kind of history we are making.

Everyone has the freedom to perform certain actions, or not, out of their own free will and understanding, while all actions, including inaction which is also a form of action, will bring along the consequences of actions, regardless of whether the fruit of action is being the way that the minds think and believe how it should be, or not.

In yoga practice, one needs to know how to free one's mind from being conditioned and influenced by any particular political, religious, spiritual, ethnical or cultural thinking, belief, values and aspiration, allowing the mind to inquire the truth of names and forms as it is, and hence, be able to make the best decision and perform the best action that would bring more benefits than harm or more peace/kindness than unrest/hatred into the world, as there's no perfect decision or perfect action and perfect fruit of action can be found in this world of selflessness and impermanence.

Yoga practitioners, especially yoga teachers or yoga community leaders, who understand this, will not try to influence or dictate other people's decision and action based on one's particular physical condition and ability/limitation, or based on one's particular political, religious, spiritual, ethnical or cultural thinking, belief, values and aspiration, but allowing all and everyone to free their own minds from being conditioned by any particular influences, to inquire the truth of everything as it is, to make their own decision independently and perform necessary action out of their own direct understanding through self-inquiry.

There's nothing wrong and it's okay to have pleasant and unpleasant thoughts, feelings and emotions, arising and passing away in the perceptive thinking mind. More importantly, it's having the core understanding towards selflessness and impermanence, be free from egoistic attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment or expectation towards all kinds of names and forms arising and passing away, selflessly and impermanently. The modification of the mind is just what it is. Unconditional peace is there as it is, undetermined by the selfless impermanent modification of the mind/actions and the fruit of actions/conditions and situations in the perceived world of names and forms, neither arising nor passing away, neither appearing nor disappearing, neither increasing nor decreasing.

One can be dispassionate and renounce from worldly affairs, activities and relationships, but it doesn't mean that one wouldn't be performing selfless actions that would help the world to move forward, without attachment or expectation towards the world has to be or not to be in certain ways. This is nothing to do with generating good karma or avoiding bad karma, not to say, the presence or absence of gratefulness or contentment. Unless the mind is still being disturbed and determined very much by the condition and situation in the world, then one can completely retreat from performing any actions in the world, to be looking after one's mind before one can serve the world efficiently, in peace.

Be humble, be patient, be grateful and be forgiving, if we want to see improvement in our life...

Be humble, be patient, be grateful (content) and be forgiving, and you will see your life moving towards brightness and happiness...

Be arrogant, be impatient, be ungrateful (discontent or greedy) and be hating, and you will see your life moving towards darkness and unhappiness...

If we practice humility, patience, gratefulness and forgiveness, we will see the condition of our life gradually improve and will have "less" problems and obstacles... Not that by being humble, patient, grateful, or forgiving will give us the superpower to change everything to be the way that we desire, like and agree with, or to make all the bad things disappear, but it's because our mind is opening up.

The truth is, problems and obstacles will always still be there, but it is our mind perception of things has changed... Being humble, patient, grateful and forgiving, or not, doesn't change the truth of things being what it is - Selfless and Impermanent. Things will still be happening as it is, if there's a cause ripening for it to be happening. Things that were usually being perceived as "problems" and "obstacles" are no more being perceived as problems and obstacles now, they are just some impermanent names and forms arising and passing away, forming and disintegrating. We don't see them as problems and obstacles anymore and not rejecting them, but allowing them to be exist just like we allow "good" and "happy" things to be exist, sharing this space of the universe...

We have problems, tensions, fear, worry and unhappiness, it's because we try to retain the "good" and "happy" things (which are impermanent and subject to changes), and try to push away the "bad" and "unhappy" things (which are impermanent and subject to changes as well)...

Contemplate on this and free ourselves from being conditioned by our own mind perception that we only want to have "good and happy" things and don't want to have "bad and unhappy" things.

It is up to the mind whether things are "good and happy" or things are "bad and unhappy". The things themselves are just being what they are, they are not something "good and happy" nor something "bad and unhappy". They have no quality nor intention to be good or bad, to make us happy or unhappy...

A positive mind perceives everything as something positive...

A negative mind perceives everything as something negative...

A mind that has gone beyond positive and negative, perceives everything as it is, it is not something positive nor negative...

Be happy.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all of you! Everyday and each moment is a new beginning and a new chance for us to do what we need to do. No need to look back, hold no regrets or disappointment... Appreciate and be grateful and enjoy the present moment now! Love and peace to all...

Om Shanti,

Meng Foong

A little note about "luck" or "karma"...

What is "luck"? (Most Chinese or Asian people believe in "luck")

 
For the minds that are still under the influence of ignorance and egoism, "bad luck" can be related to something bad, difficult, undesirable and unpleasant, while "good luck" can be related to something good, easy, desirable and pleasant.

In terms of Buddhism and yoga, we can relate this "luck" with karma, or cause and effect. "Good luck" equal to good karma/cause. "Bad luck" equal to bad karma/cause. However, there's neither good nor bad upon the absence of ignorance, where either "good" or "bad" luck/karma/cause that give rise to easy or difficult, pleasant or unpleasant, desirable or undesirable experiences/conditions/situations, are all selfless and impermanent.

We might be aware of we and other people whom we know in our life, are going through different experiences in life. Some agreeable experiences might bring us joy and happiness, and some disagreeable experiences might bring us painful sorrow and unhappiness.

When we experience painful sorrow and unhappiness in life, naturally we will think, "Why do we have such bad experiences even though (we think and believe that) we didn't do anything bad or wrong in life, and have tried to live a righteous life of good thoughts, actions and speech?"

While looking at some other people who didn't do much good deeds and have been doing lots of (what we think and believe as) wrong and evil actions and speech, but then, they are having all the "good, desirable and enjoyable things/experiences/conditions/situations" in life, and that makes us think, "This is so unfair!"

We might think that it must be something to do with "luck" or "karma".

Indeed, it is the law of cause and effect, or karma. Nothing is not karma, or everything is arising and passing away influenced by cause and effect.

If our mind is pure and bright (loving, forgiving, goodwill, generous and cheerful), everything will turn out to be good karma or "good luck" for us. Things, happenings, conditions or situations that seem to be obstacle, difficult, failure, undeserving, unpleasant, undesirable or not good for most people, it is actually good karma or "good luck" for us, and are igniting and helping us to grow and advance in certain way and somehow.

We are the one who creates our own luck (karma). No one can give us or take away our "good luck" or "bad luck" (good karma or bad karma), the seeds or cause that we have planted by ourselves, out of desires, through thoughts, actions and speech.

When we frown at ourselves and frown at other people (being bitter, angry and hating towards  ourselves and other people, for some reasons), we are creating "bad luck" for ourselves. If our mind is being in the state of "unpleasantness", full of bitterness, anger and hatred, we are inviting "bad luck" or "unpleasant experiences/conditions/situations" to come into our life. The more we complain about many things, the more "bad luck" will be accumulating in our life.

When we smile at ourselves and other people (being joyful, loving and kind towards ourselves and other people, with or without any specific reason), we are creating "good luck" for ourselves. If our mind is full of joy, love and kindness, unconditionally, our "good luck" will be over flowing and those who come in contact with us will also be sharing our generosity, which is endless and unlimited, or will never be exhausted. Although, it doesn't remove the ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in other people. It cannot change the karma, or cause and effect that is ceaselessly being created by all the others in the world.

The more we give and share without asking anything in return, the more the "good luck" (virtue and merit) will be accumulating in our life, even if we are not craving for any "good luck", or have no attachment or intention to be generating and accumulating any good karma.

If we have been doing lots of good deeds through actions and speech, but our mind is still full of impure thoughts and is over-powered by corrupted thinking and belief, bitterness, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed and lustful desire, then it will be like we are building a beautiful wooden house with "good deeds", but at the same time, we are also inviting lots of termites and pests into the house with "impure thoughts". Just by doing good is not enough, but we also need to stop creating bad karma (all kinds of unpleasantness/ill-will/impurities in the mind), and not just at the physical actions and speech level, but also cultivate openness, generosity, light and purity in the mind.

Be grateful and thankful, stop complaining upon experiencing something that is difficult, unpleasant, undesirable and disagreeable. At the same time, freeing our mind from the desire of craving and aversion, or expectation. Without any intention, we will see the change of "luck" in our life very soon.

Endure or withstand all the bad karma ("bad luck") that are ripen and are happening to us in our life now without aversion or complaint. Let go of the past unhappy happenings, don't let them continuously to haunt us, hurt us, determine us, disturb us, or affect us. We have to take full responsibility for our own past karma that we had created for ourselves through our ignorant impure thoughts, action and speech, whether consciously or unconsciously, whether we remember or don't remember, whether we are aware or unaware.

At the same time, be loving, compassionate and forgiving towards our own self and towards all other beings. Be patient, generous, cheerful, thoughtful, motivational, supportive and uplifting towards ourselves and towards other people either through our thoughts, actions and speech, or any of them, without asking or expecting anything in return, without craving for good karma or "good luck" in return.

And be very patient. A tree needs time and nurturing to grow into a mature state to have flowers and fruit.

Our life will change by itself, by generating good karma and stop creating bad karma, without attaching towards our good deeds, without craving for good karma or aversion towards bad karma.

If we continuously creating bad karma either wittingly or unwittingly, along side with creating good karma, it is like, planting a tree on a piece of dry land with no access to water or nutrients. Or, it is like planting a tree on a piece of land that is polluted by chemicals or there are lots of insects and animals are eating the leaves, or the flowers, or the fruit, even before we manage to harvest the fruit and taste the fruit.

If we are still being unhappy or dissatisfied with our life experiences now, after we have been doing lots of good deeds, then ask ourselves, "Are we really selfless and pure in all our thoughts, actions and speech? As if our mind is selfless and pure, there won't be any unhappiness or dissatisfaction about something arising in our mind."

If our mind is truly selfless and pure, then there shall be no complaints at all, because we will be happy, grateful and thankful for everything as we are (such as being able to sleep, can breath freely, can move the fingers and toes, or can go to the toilet to pee and shit, as there are many people are suffering because they cannot sleep, cannot breath freely, cannot move their fingers and toes, or cannot go to the toilet to pee or shit), and we will appreciate life as it is, not being determined by the undesirable, unpleasant and disagreeable life experiences, and not complaining about the things that we wanted to have, but we couldn't have or didn't have.

We are so much lucky than many people in the world, if we still have the attention and energy to be unhappy and dissatisfied about something. Even if we don't have anything that we want, and have all the things that we don't want, we still have our own Self.

In the end, there is nothing "good" or "bad" when we know the truth of everything, that everything is the manifestation of cause and effect, and everything is just being what it is.

"Illness", "old age", "injury", "accident", "conflict", "separation from the loved ones", "coming in contact with the disagreeable ones", "difficulty", "hardship", "failure", "unhappy experiences", "undesirable experiences", "failure", "obstacle", "non-accomplishment", "ignorance", "death", and etc, they all are not "bad luck" or bad karma. They are not something "bad". They are merely the manifestations from our ceaseless generation of ceaseless  causes and effects/actions and consequences of actions, consciously or unconsciously, out of ignorance and desires. They are just being what it is. They all are subject to selflessness and impermanence, and eventually they all will be passing away. We are the one who had created all these pleasant/unpleasant karma for ourselves (out of ignorance, desires and attachment), and by ourselves, we harvest the fruit of our past deeds. Good or bad, desirable or undesirable, pleasant or unpleasant, painful or enjoyable, it is our own products produced by ourselves.

 

It seems like a restless loop of continuous selfless cause and effect that doesn't have an end, however, the teachings of buddhism and yoga has the same teaching that "All these can be stopped or ended through the elimination of ignorance and the annihilation of the selfless modification of the mind, or SILENCE." 

 

Before the direct self realization towards the truth of selflessness, all the above teachings, practices, and observations are valid for the minds that are still functioning under the veil of ignorance, that perceive suffering. Such as, do good and don't do bad. Be positive. Think positive. Be forgiving. And, letting go. 
 
Keep practicing until the mind attains direct self realization towards the truth of selflessness, upon silence of the restless impure egoistic modification of the mind. 

Be happy.

Keep smiling and be grateful even though life is not easy for us...

Some people may think that when a person is always smiling and cheerful, it must be because his life is very "good", there's no obstacles, difficulties or undesirable happenings in his life, everything is just what he likes and how he wants it to be. But in truth, no body's life can be free from the law of impermanence which gives rise to all suffering due to selfless impermanent changes, but we still can be grateful and thankful for all the good things that we had before and what we have now.

Everyone has to go through impermanence, fear, worry, disappointment and dissatisfaction, as well as discomfort, pain, weakening, decaying and death upon this physical body, regardless of whether we are rich or poor, knowledgeable or not knowledgeable, healthy and fit or not, happy or not, having good behavior or not, speaking certain language fluently or not, intelligent and hardworking or not, and having whatever we want in our life or not.

Some people might want to know how come I can still be smiling, cheerful and grateful when my mother had passed away, my father is sick and paralyzed, and my entire family has financial and health problems, my siblings have lots of resentment about life and responsibility, the world has so much problems, our living environment has problems, my close friends also had their own personal problems, many people that I come across are suffering from restlessness, anxiety and depression, and people here and there also have their own different problems?

But, whose family has no problems at all? Whose family and friends had never lost somebody that they loved and closed to? Who has never been sick or unhappy in life? Who has never encounter any discomfortable situations or difficult moments in this life existence?

Some people think that why should some people be happy when there are so many other people in the world are depressed.

Why not?

My life also encountered many different kinds of problems and difficulties before. On and off, there will always be some kinds of difficult moments may arise here and there. But I never see all these happenings as "problems". I don't have "problems", why do I need to be unhappy?

About other people's problems and unhappiness, I would be compassionate towards all of them, but I don't need to be unhappy and depressed for someone else's "problems and unhappiness", how could I? I could try my best to help them to come out from suffering and unhappiness if possible. But if these people don't want to help themselves, or don't want to come out from miseries, and are enjoying being upset, unhappy and depressed, then there is nothing much that I can do about it. Everyone is a free person to live their live the way that they want it to be, the way that they are comfortable with, and do whatever they want to do with their body and mind. I cannot stop anyone from damaging his own life even if he is the dearest person to me in my life. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own self.

Who said that we cannot be cheerful and smiling when we encounter different kinds of difficulties or problems in our life? And why do we want to make small little problems into huge problems? Why don't we make big problems into small problems, and make small problems into no problems? Undesirable happenings are always happening whether we like it or not, but why do we want to see everything as a problem and be disturbed by it?

Who said that when our body is sick, or when our family and friends are sick, we should be moaning and is not appropriate to smile and be cheerful? Cheerfulness is the best natural medicine to cure any physical and mental sickness. Even if our body is so sick that it cannot be cured, we still can be cheerful and enjoy the very last moments of our life and live meaningfully, as it is.

Who said that everyone should become depressed since the world is so depressing?

Who said that we cannot enjoy life when there are unhappiness and suffering everywhere?

Being depressed about things that are depressing is not going to help to ease depression nor can it make the depression go away.

Being unhappy and worry for undesirable happenings cannot help things to improve or help the situation to get better, nor can it make undesirable happenings disappear or not to be happening at all.

Why do we want to waste energy and time into being upset, unhappy, moaning, fear and worry, while we can turn these energy into something constructive and productive that can help to make some positive changes if possible, and to accept the reality as it is if changes are not possible, and let it go?

When true compassion present, there is no unhappiness or depression, no craving or aversion, no attachment or expectation, no disappointment or dissatisfaction, and no fear and worry, but only unconditional love and wisdom to perform actions that can be done for the well-being of all and everything, for ourselves and for others.

If we haven't realized compassion, then we need to have forgiveness and forbearance to accommodate ourselves and other people for being imperfect.

If there is no attachment, there is no need of letting go. We need to let go of "something" only if we had attachment towards something.

Non-attachment will lead us to become undisturbed or unaffected by all the selfless impermanent conditions of names and forms in the world, but that doesn't mean that we are feelingless, loveless, cold-hearted, or cruel.

Having mental and emotional resentment towards the law of impermanence and the law of cause and effect will not help anyone to feel better, or to be free from the law of nature.

The existence of this selfless physical body and the selfless thinking mind is an inevitable truth of the suffering from restlessness under the law of impermanence. We are creating suffering for ourselves if we cannot let go of things and human relationships when impermanence strikes.

It is okay and nothing wrong to feel sad, to cry, and to show respect towards the dead and the sick, but there is no need to create extra suffering onto the existing suffering.

When suffering arise, we observe, be aware, and let it go.

Great Real Yoga Training Ground In India

I have just came back from India for the fourth time. India is always a great place for people to learn to be grateful and content. It is a great yoga training ground for realizing the great compassion and wisdom in us, not in the classroom in the yoga school or doing lots of Asana, Pranayama and meditation practice, but it is in the daily lives of the Indian people that we are actually developing all the great qualities that a yogi should have.

If we want to learn what is non-attachment, then just by being in India for a few months will definitely train us up to develop non-attachment. Because if we have strong attachment, we will be so disappointed and unhappy. But the great thing is, the less attachment we have and allow ourselves to follow the flow of whatever comes up, then everything will turn out very nicely for us. This is the great experience of surrendering. Everything happens for a reason. Any obstacles, changes, delays, cancellation or disturbance will turn out to be a great adventure for us if we are not attached to our pre-fixed plans. Allow changes to happen. Life is fantastic being free not attaching to any plans!

If anyone is not satisfied with the present condition, may spend some time in India to experience gratefulness, simplicity and contentment... It will open up our minds and help to develop patience, compassion, gratitude, acceptance, adaptation, tolerance, accommodation, adjustment, forgive, courage, letting go, trust, fearlessness, worrilessness and selflessness. Above all, we have to be in the present moment, not worrying for the past or the future. In India, we can't really attach to any fixed ideas or plans. At any moment there can be changes happening. Everything doesn't really turn out the way as what you have planned. If we have great expectation towards anything, there will be some disappointment for sure. And thus we learn to let go of expectation and go with the flow. Anything is possible in India.

And this is a little note of why I always salute to the Indian people and their way of life.


Well, if we can have the courage to drive a vehicle on the roads in the big cities of India, for sure we can achieve whatever we want to do in life...

If we can survive crossing the extreme busy roads in India, for sure we can be fearless and worriless being in anywhere...

If we can survive the noise pollution, air pollution, human congestion and rubbish congestion in India, we can survive being anywhere in the world and be grateful of our present condition...

About the Indian traffic...

In most countries, we need to follow the traffic rules to avoid and minimize road accidents or traffic congestions.

But, in India, this doesn't work at all. If we drive the way that we usually drive in our own country, we will become an obstacle for other drivers just because we are driving according to the traffic rules. (Just like there is a "queue" sign everywhere in India, but no one is going to queue up. We can never get to buy a train ticket, or getting information from the information counter, or to buy a meal at the fast food restaurant if we are being polite and not trying to squeeze in into the crowds, because everyone will cut infront of everybody continuously.)

But this is India. Not following any rules works very well here... Life still goes on no matter how. Food is on the table (it doesn't matter if it is just a chapati, plain rice and dhal or a luxury meal), a place to sleep (it doesn't matter if it is on a bed or on the floor or on the street), a place to pee and shit (it doesn't matter if it is in the toilet or on the street), anything is possible...

In fact, although they do have traffic rules, I believe... But it won't work on the roads in India's big cities because there are too many people and too many vehicles on the road during anytime in the day, unless it is in the middle of the night when there are less people and less vehicles using the road.

Indian's traffic rules = No rules at all or Whatever rules as the drivers like it to be.

One common "rule" is, "HORN" as much as you can and as loud as possible all the way and use the break as less as possible...

Just horn and go...go...go...
And, just go and horn...horn...horn...

It doesn't matter if it is red light ahead, most of them will just keep going, or driving on the opposite lane overtaking the vehicles infront even though there are cars coming straight towards them, or there are at least 6 to 8 vehicles moving side by side about 4-5 inches away from each other on a four lane road with many pedestrains trying to cross the road at the same time, or when vehicles are coming out from a side street, or coming to a roundabout, or turning to a side street, or especially at the cross road, Indian drivers never need to have "rules". They just can't. If they try to abide to the rules, the traffic will be congested or might stop completely.

It is because there are no rules, and thus miraculously the traffic can continue to flow freely like the leaves floating on a river and reach the ocean sooner or later. Accidents seldom happen here as compared to some other countries' traffic. The Indians are excellent skillful drivers. Their vehicles won't touch each other even though they drive very near to each other and are going left and right, and turn as they like, and never "stop and look" at the junctions. Their successful technique is "PLEASE HORN!".

All the drivers on the road are trying to overtake each other. Imagine it is like a F1 race that involves thousands of vehicles at one time. Everyone is automatically being push into this "race". You have to move and keep moving at the speed that everyone has. If you are not interested in the race, please get out of the road, so that you won't cause any "problems" on the "race track".

This actually works very well in India although it might not work in many other countries, because everyone on the road in India (pedestrians or drivers) abides to this unique Indian traffic rule which is "no rules". If anyone try to carry out the "stop, look, wait and go" rule in India, no one would ever get the chance to cross over to the other side of the road at the cross road or this politeness may cause some obstacles to other drivers.

But of course, if an Indian driver tries to drive the Indian's way in other countries that actually have traffic rules and where most drivers are following the rules, then this is not the same situation anymore. This Indian driver might cause accidents on every junction, traffic light and roundabout for other road users.

Any mishaps could happen easily, when all the other drivers are expecting everyone else is also following the same rules on the road but unfortunately one of the drivers doesn't think so.

It's the same situation in India. Everyone is expecting everybody is not following any rules. It will cause havoc if someone is actually following the rules when everyone else doesn't think so. The one great rule that everyone follows which is, "no rules"...

And so, there is actually no right or wrong anyhow on how we should drive on the road, depending on each different culture and mentality.

India is a great country.

Indians are incredibly hardworking, humble, adaptable and adjustable people.

In India, anything also is possible.

I salute to most of the Indians who are so hard working and yet being contented by earning very little income just to survive. (The Olympic councils should go to the streets of India, especially at the building sides, and surely will find so many great potential weightlifters, runners and bodybuilders etc..., while they can find lots of sprinters and excellent F1 race car drivers on the road... If you know how an ants nest is built, then you can imagine how fast can a building be built by Indians just with their manpower and not by machines. They really work like an ants colony, cooperating and very efficiently) - We witnessed a restaurant in Kovalam, Kerala was being rebuilt within just a few days, where else in many other countries it might take at least a few weeks or a few months. These Indian construction workers are just using their manpower to perform all the work that need to be done, such like carrying extreme heavy loads on their heads and walking a great distance to deliver it to the construction sites where there is no road for any vehicles to drive into the construction sites. They were going back and forward repeatedly from early morning til late night until all the goods were delivered within that day.

Incredible Indian's manpower!!! They don't need to pay to workout at the gym but they all are so fit naturally. There were many old men and women as well who were above sixty years of age and are still strong and fit to carry out their work.

About the beggars in India... They are incredible as well. Their perseverance and technique to get money from the people are incredible. Usually they will come in a group of young children, teenagers, and women with babies. They won't stop following you or harrasing you until you give them what they want. Or else if you are a woman and you don't want to give them any money, the girls might touch you anywhere and grab your arms with their dirty hands and the boys might give you a slap on the bum or a squeeze on the breast and then run off into the crowds. What could you do? Be angry and upset about it, run after them and shout at them (you won't be able to catch them and nobody cares to help you), or we can be compassionate, forgive and let go. The best thing we can do is, try to avoid them if possible.

It is not advisable to give money to them no matter how "pitiful" they may look because this will encourage more beggars. And most beggars are working for some syndicates. To help people by teaching them how to catch fish is more efficient than to give them a fish. Sometimes if we give them a few rupees, they will demand more from us. They are not happy with just a few rupees. They want big "business", not small "business".

There are many great qualities that we can develop from being in India and observing Indian's way of life, such like how they surrender fear and worry, and allowing mother nature to take care of everything.

Life can be not so easy but it doesn't mean that it is not good.

May all beings be happy.