Want to learn and practice yoga? (6)

What the body can do and cannot do, is not important.

What the mind can achieve and cannot achieve, is not important.

Peace, compassion, and the ability to let go, is not determined by what the body can do and cannot do, or what the mind knows and doesn't know about the different names and forms, the characteristics and the purposes of the many things that exist in the world of names and forms, as well as what the mind achieves and doesn't achieve by utilizing the intelligence and accumulated knowledge.

Knowing and memorizing many names and forms, and their characteristics and purposes, doesn't change the truth of names and forms being selfless and impermanent regardless of all the different qualities, and it doesn't determine the ability of seeing things as they are without grasping, or the capability of non-attachment, non-identification, non-clinging, non-longing, non-craving, non-aversion, and letting go what the mind perceives, judges, thinks and believes as good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, pleasant and unpleasant, meaningful and meaningless, deserving and undeserving, and so on, according to certain worldly thinking and belief, values and expectation.

What the body can do and cannot do, or what the mind can achieve and cannot achieve, is impermanent. No matter what the body can do or cannot do, no matter what the mind achieves and doesn't achieve, this body and the modification of the mind, or the perceptive, cognitive, assertive thinking faculty of the physical body, is subject to selfless impermanent changes of decay, weakness, injury, illness, pain, old age, death or decomposition, being powered and influenced by energy and elements.

Above all, there's no 'I', or individual being existing, to be in control or altering the truth of selfless impermanent changes that is governed and influenced by the law of nature, or cause and effect. There's no 'I' existing to be going through impermanent changes of decay, weakness, injury, illness, pain, old age, death or decomposition, but merely the limited adjunct of the body with the perceptive cognitive assertive modification of the thinking emotional mind.

If being physically and mentally fit, strong and flexible determining a person as a 'yogi', then all the competitive athletes especially gymnasts and contortionists, who are also possessing the strong mental quality of concentration, focus, determination, perseverance, will power, forbearance, positive thinking, and etc, on top of the extraordinary physical ability to perform certain actions, as well as all the intelligent knowledgeable scholars and scientists, are all 'yogis'. But, it's not necessarily so.

The most healthy, strong, flexible, intelligent and knowledgeable human beings in the world might not be free from the perception of physical/mental/emotional suffering and have no peace, if the mind is not free from ignorance and egoism.

What distinguish 'the yogi' from the competitive athletes, gymnasts and contortionists, as well as the scholars and scientists, is the presence and absence of non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving, non-aversion, non-judgment, non-comparison, and non-expectation. More importantly, 'yogis' or not, all are subject to selfless impermanent changes, however, 'the yogis' are resting in unconditional peace, transcending the modification of the mind, of a selfless impermanent worldly life existence, not being disturbed or determined by the ceaseless and selfless impermanent changes in the body and the mind, and in everyone and everything in the world, not being disturbed or determined by the actions and fruit of actions. Meanwhile the others of the many different qualities, abilities and limitations, might be disturbed and determined by the selfless impermanent changes, being restlessly swaying in between satisfaction and dissatisfaction, happiness and unhappiness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, enjoying or suffering, being influenced and determined by the actions and fruit of actions, success and failure, abilities and disabilities, pleasantness and unpleasantness, desirable and undesirable life experiences, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, good and bad relationships with all and everything, the conditions and situations in the world, and so on, perceiving all kinds of suffering due to ignorance and egoism.

Competitive athletes, gymnasts and contortionists, intelligent scholars and scientists, as well as anyone who are not as physically or mentally fit and strong as them, also are 'yogis', if the mind is free from egoism of attachment, identification, craving, aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Being mentally positive and optimistic, or being good, righteous, kind, loving, generous, happy, content, grateful, cheerful, forgiving, sympathetic and empathetic, also doesn't change the truth of selflessness and impermanence of this body and mind, and all kinds of names and forms that are existing in this world being perceived through the selfless thinking assertive intellectual emotional mind.

There's not even the idea, or identification of, "I am practicing yoga and I am a yoga practitioner", or "I am a yogi," not to say, "I am a good or bad yogi."

This teaching that distinguishes 'the yogis' from 'the non-yogis' is beyond worldly egoistic judgment and comparison, where it's not about comparing between the qualities of 'yogis' and 'non-yogis', to judge who is better/worst or who is superior/inferior. But, it's about whether one realized the truth of names and forms, being free from ignorance and egoism, and is peaceful as one is, or not, regardless of all kinds of different qualities. It's about looking at the different names and forms, and to reflect upon the one same truth of all kinds of names and forms that portray different qualities from one another. It's about knowing what is yoga, what is the yoga practice, what is the main purpose of practicing yoga, and how to realize yoga through the practice.

Regardless of good or bad quality, all are impermanent. If there's attachment towards either good or bad quality, not respecting the law of impermanence, there will be suffering arise in this mind. And there's nothing wrong if the mind doesn't want to be free from attachment. It's everyone's freedom for what they want and don't want. However, a disturbed mind in pain or anger might not have self-control to not generate actions that would hurt oneself and/or others, and the surrounding environment. That's all.

'The yogis' look at things, they see the selflessness and impermanence in all and everything, regardless of the different qualities, void of desire of craving and aversion towards the different qualities, respecting the law of nature, respecting all the impermanent changes as they are. There's no clinging or longing towards 'good' qualities. There's no aversion towards 'bad' qualities. They live and perform actions among the worldly minded, but the mind is void of disturbs, hurts, sorrow, fear and worry.

'The non-yogis' look at things, they see the different qualities, and generate likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, and the desire of craving and aversion towards the objects of names and forms that the mind perceived through the senses. From there, restlessness arise upon discontentment and unwittingly chasing after the names and forms that it desires, and trying to get rid of the names and forms that it doesn't desire, where suffering arise upon non-gratification of the desire of craving and aversion, when it gets what it doesn't desire and doesn't get what it desires, when things don't happen in the way that it desires and expects it to be. The mind misses the people, the objects, the relationship, the interaction, the goodness, the happiness, or the meaningfulness that it likes and desires, but are absence in the present moment. The mind reacts with and suffers from disturbance, disappointment, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, hurts, painful sorrow, grief, guilt, regret, anger, hatred, fear and worry, upon coming in contact with undesirable/disagreeable experiences, and upon not coming in contact with desirable/agreeable experiences.

There are some highly intelligent creative minds in the world of advanced technologies, as well as there are some wise and compassionate 'yogis' in the world of selflessness and impermanence, but can they stop the ignorance, egoism, suffering, hatred, discrimination, greed, jealousy, corruptions, wars, violence, illness, old age, death, and so on in the world of limited adjunct? Nope. Not even enlightened beings in the present or in the history can do anything to change or control the world to be or not to be in certain way. It's all about self-transformation. One can only liberate one's mind from ignorance and its by-products. This path is alone, but not lonely.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Want to learn and practice yoga? (5)

The kind and sympathetic mind or the intelligent and knowledgeable mind can be free from suffering if it knows what is non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving, non-aversion, non-judgment, non-comparison and non-expectation.

The mind can be very kind and sympathetic towards all kinds of suffering in other beings, and/or being intelligent and knowledgeable, but it might not be free from the suffering of disturbed, disappointment, frustration, dissatisfaction, irritation, annoyance, anger, hurts, grief or painful sorrow, if it doesn't know what is non-attachment.

There's nothing wrong, and it's normal for the untrained impure mind to feel disturbed, disappointment, frustration, dissatisfaction, irritation, annoyance, anger, hurts, grief or painful sorrow, and maybe some other kinds of feelings and emotions, it's only indicating that the mind is still functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

The mind that is free from ignorance and egoism, that knows and respects the truth of selflessness and impermanence in all kinds of names and forms that is arising, changing and passing away governed by the nature law of cause and effect, that knows thyself, knowing what is going on in the modification of the mind, will be aware of the different kinds of agreeable and disagreeable names and forms, or pleasant and unpleasant experiences, that are happening to oneself and/or other beings and/or the surrounding environment, where it might feel sympathy and empathy towards other beings' difficulties and suffering, while it might or might not be performing certain actions that might or might not bring certain improvement or relief, but without being determined or disturbed by the names and forms or experiences, without attachment, identification or expectation towards one's action/inaction and the fruit of action/inaction, without intention to change and control the names and forms to be something that the mind likes, agrees with and desires.

Accumulating and memorizing a lot of knowledge about the teachings doesn't mean anything, if the mind doesn't practice the teachings, and doesn't realize the teachings through direct experience via self-inquiry and self-realization.

The mind that thinks and believes that itself already had studied and knew a lot about many different kinds of teachings through reading and hearing, with the notion of, "I'd already learned a lot of philosophies about this and that. I know enough. I don't need to be repeatedly hearing the same philosophies again and again from different teachers. Now, I just want to learn to do some physical movements/positions that I would like my body be able to do, that makes my mind feels good, positive, healthy, strong and meaningful. That's all. I don't want to keep hearing some teachings that I already read and heard many times." Then obviously, this mind hasn't been practicing any of the teachings/knowledge that it learned and remembered, even though it has been accumulating a lot of knowledge about many teachings from here and there. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's mere ignorance.

Most untrained minds would spontaneously feel being judged when they come in contact with or hear the teachings that aren't directing towards anyone personally, but merely in general, about how the impure egoistic minds are being conditioned to behave, act and react unwittingly, where many minds naturally relate such ignorant egoistic behavior, action and reaction being mentioned in the teachings to their own behavior, action and reaction, and thus, they think and feel that they were being judged, criticized and attacked by the teachings and/or the teachers who are disseminating the teachings. "Are you talking about me? Why are you talking about me and judging/criticizing/attacking me?" This is also nothing wrong, and it's a very common and normal reaction of the impure egoistic minds, but it's only indicating that the minds are reacting in such way under the influence of ignorance.

The teachings and/or the teachers who disseminate the teachings to the student(s) don't have intention to be judging or criticizing anyone, but merely being what they are, as they are, to allow the minds to reflect upon oneself, to be initiative to learn how to discipline and purify the impure egoistic modification of the mind, to annihilate ignorance and egoism through self-effort, independently.

Most egoistic minds will have strong reaction of annoyance and defensiveness towards certain teachings that relate to themselves, and don't like to hear or practice the teachings that are pointing out the ignorance in the impure mind, and to be doing something about it. For the minds that are being conditioned to behave, act and react under the influence of ignorance and egoism, it's absolutely normal and nothing wrong or bad about how they themselves behave, act and react, and hence, they don't think that there's any urgency to transform the egoistic behavior of the mind, as they think and believe that all their suffering and misery, as well as how their mind behaves, acts and reacts, are induced or caused by other beings who were/are being bad and wrongful towards them. "It's because of you, and your bad behavior are hurting me, that's why I am behaving, acting and reacting like this."

The minds that reflect upon everything, and realized what is going on in itself, are aware of all their mind's behaviors, actions and reactions are the responsibility of the mind itself. And this understanding will free the mind from all kinds of corrupted thinking and suffering that arise due to ignorance or incorrect understanding. What others think and don't think, and how others behave/don't behave, act/don't act and react/don't react, are their own freedom and responsibility, but it cannot determine this mind to behave, act and react in certain way, unless this mind allows that to be happening. And when this mind behaves, acts and reacts in certain way, it's its own freedom and responsibility, it's nothing to do with other minds being good or bad, right or wrong, kind or unkind.

There's nothing wrong if the mind is still feeling hurt and being miserable towards certain undesirable, disagreeable and unpleasant experiences/objects/people/names and forms, and is still have clinging and longing towards certain desirable, agreeable and pleasant experiences/objects/people/names and forms. It just needs to take its own pace and effort to keep practicing and keep purifying until it starts to see what is really going on in itself.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Want to learn and practice yoga? (4)

What other bodies and minds know and don't know, can do and cannot do, achieve and don't achieve, act/react and don't act/react, desire and don't desire, expect and don't expect, understand and don't understand, think and don't think, believe and disbelieve, like and dislike, agree and disagree, appreciate and don't appreciate, practice and don't practice, eat and don't eat, and how others want to live their life, are their freedom.

There's no judgment, or comparison, or expectation towards oneself and others, and between all and everyone who have different qualities of names and forms, condition, opportunity, experience, achievement, ability and limitation.

There's no superiority or inferiority.

One doesn't feel inferior, or admire/envy towards, or feel being intimidated by others who have higher qualities, condition, opportunity, experience and ability than oneself. Neither does one feel superior, or being proud and arrogant towards oneself has higher qualities, condition, opportunity, experience, achievement and ability than others.

'The yoga teacher' doesn't necessarily have to be someone who possessed/possesses higher qualities of names and forms, condition, opportunity, experience, achievement and ability than 'the yoga students', but, someone, or anyone and anything, or any names and forms, that allows 'this mind' to reflect, to look within, to inquire the truth, to have self-control and self-discipline, to be self-reliant, to realize, to be aware of ignorance and egoism in oneself, to annihilate ignorance and egoism in oneself by oneself, to be transcending all the selfless impermanent names and forms or the modification of the mind, and to attain self-realization towards the truth of selflessness and impermanence via self-effort, all and everything of different qualities of names and forms, regardless of superior or inferior/good or bad/desirable or undesirable/agreeable or disagreeable qualities, where all and everything are subject to selfless impermanent changes, are 'yoga teachers' to 'this mind', and above all, 'this mind' that is opened, and allowing all those teachings and practices to be happening, is the greatest teacher above all.

'The minds' that don't know this, will only in search for certain 'yoga teachers' who possessed/possess certain higher qualities of names and forms, condition, opportunity, experience, achievement and ability than oneself, with the intention or aspiration to be 'learning' and 'practicing' certain 'yoga practices of certain names and forms', in order to be able to also achieve those higher qualities of names and forms that oneself agrees with, likes, desires, admires, wants to possess and be identifying with. These minds are not free, including 'yoga teachers' and 'aspired yoga teachers', even though they might be attaining higher qualities of names and forms that they wanted to possess through practicing certain 'yoga practices of certain names and forms' learning from and practicing under the guidance of certain 'yoga teachers of certain names and forms', regularly and persistently, for many years.

'The yoga teachers' or 'the yoga students' who think and believe that, as 'the yoga teacher', they need to acquire and possess certain higher qualities of names and forms, in order to be able or be qualified to 'teach yoga' to others, still need to keep practicing until the mind is free from such thinking and belief.

Regardless of higher or lower/good or bad/pleasant or unpleasant qualities, all are subject to impermanent changes of decay, old age, weakness, injury, illness, pain, unpleasantness, cease functioning, death or decomposition.

Letting go attachment and identification, longing and clinging and chasing after towards any qualities of names and forms that are subject to selfless impermanent changes, is the 'yoga practice'.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Want to learn and practice yoga? (3)

Regardless of,

What is the condition of the body,

In good health, strong and flexible, or not,

What the body can do or cannot do,

What is the state of the mind,

In calmness, or not,

What the mind knows and doesn't know,

What is the condition and situation in the world,

How is the surrounding environment,

Agreeable or disagreeable,

Desirable or undesirable,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

Possibility or impossibility,

What the body and mind and this life existence can achieve or cannot achieve,

What type of family and social background, origin, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, culture, belief, spirituality, values, education, profession, ambition, aspiration, inspiration, past and present experiences and non-experiences, achievements and non-achievements,

What type of yoga lineage, brand, style, level and practice,

Which yoga schools and who were/are the teachers,

In this present moment,

Where one is,

In motion or motionless, thinking or not thinking,

While doing some sort of yoga practice, or not,

While performing duty and responsibility in life, or not,

In solitude, or not,

There's no past, no future, no grasping, no attachment, no identification, no craving, no aversion, no judgment, no comparison, no expectation, no aspiration, no admiration, no longing, no clinging, no good, no bad, no positive, no negative, no meaningfulness, no meaninglessness, no superiority, no inferiority, no regret, no pride, no fear, no worry, no grief, no painful sorrow, no hurts, no suffering, no end of suffering,

There's no 'I', 'my', 'mine'.

There's no 'I am',

There's no 'I am not',

There's no 'I want',

There's no 'I don't want',

There's no 'I wish', 'I hope', 'I aspire', 'I inspire',

There's no 'I practice', 'I love', 'I give', 'I forgive', 'I let go', 'I inquire', 'I meditate', 'I receive', 'I realize'

There's no 'good enough', 'not good enough',

There's no 'I am free', 'I am not free',

There's no 'I am good, wise, generous, loving, kind and compassionate',

Merely selfless impermanent changes of names and forms arising and passing away.

Being what it is, as it is.

Void of egoism or desire, is silence.

*If the mind still has the idea or desire of "I want to learn and practice yoga from this or that teacher because I want to .....", then keep practicing, until the mind is void of such idea or desire.

If the mind doesn't agree with, doesn't like and doesn't want this, let it be.*

My life stories - Part 17 (Uncertainty - That's life, and it's okay)

My life Stories – Part 17 (Uncertainty - That's life, and it's okay)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

Before we came to France, we had contacted the French embassy in Kuala Lumpur to enquire about the legal procedure for me as the non-European spouse of an European citizen to be residing in France, regarding whether I needed to apply for a long term visa for entering France among some other things.

They said that as the spouse of an European citizen moving to France with my European husband, I don't need a long term visa to enter France. I just needed to enter France as a tourist and then apply for the resident card in France within 90 days after arrival. We also checked online for getting ready all the required documents for applying the resident card.

We wanted to apply for the resident card as soon as possible during the first week after we arrived. Being unsure about many things, we went to the sub-prefecture here to inquire about it, and we were being told that we needed to get to the main branch in Annecy for applying the resident card, but before that can happen, we needed to wait until my husband has renewed his old Health Medical Card, which afterwards we found out over the counter on the day when we went for the appointment that this procedure is unnecessary as my husband is actively being employed in France. Didn't know that it was a misinformation being given to us, we had followed the instructions from that officer. And hence, we waited until my husband renewed the Health Medical Card after receiving his first payslip, which then would take many weeks for it to be processed. And after that, we needed to make an online appointment reservation via the website that was being introduced due to the pandemic.

We didn't want to wait until two months later for us to start trying to get an appointment. As soon as he sent off the documents for renewing his Health Medical Card upon receiving his first payslip in the beginning of March, we started trying to get an appointment for applying the resident card, however, it wasn't easy at all.

We were told by the officer in the sub-prefecture office that we should try to make an appointment through the website on Sunday nights at 12 midnight. We didn't understand why it has to be at midnight hour and only available on Sundays, but we just follow his advice. Not just that we have tried to make a reservation for an appointment on Sunday midnight, but we also tried on different days and different timing, and we still couldn't even get through the first step which is about the available date and time slots. We have been trying a few times everyday for a few weeks and we still couldn't get an appointment. And apparently, it's not possible to make a phone call to talk to someone.

It was quite unsettling for us, as I might need to fly out of France and Europe if I still couldn't get an appointment before the deadline of 90 days after arrival. It would cost a lot of money and troubles to be travelling during the pandemic which was still going strong in many countries at that time.

Since it's not possible to just make a phone call to enquire about anything, we made an effort to re-visit the sub-prefecture on my husband's off day, to see if we can find out about what can we do, if we still couldn't get an appointment, however, the one and only officer who is responsible for administrating the foreigners affair, was on holiday for that whole week. While the other people who are working there 'refuse' to take any of our questions even before we asked anything, by saying that it's not their department's responsibility. And so, we came back empty handed, and continuing trying to get onto the website to get an appointment. And nothing changed.

Meanwhile, I was also looking at flights and entry requirements in different countries for travelling amid the pandemic, about where can I fly to at the minimal cost, if I still couldn't get an appointment closer to the deadline. I was ready to just go somewhere, anywhere, if that's the way it has to be. This life journey has been teaching this mind that it doesn't need to fight against any difficulties, but just do its best to move on by gliding through the difficulties, allowing the current to bring it to where it is.

Then we looked at the website again to see if we can find some useful information, then only my husband found a contact form after browsing the website for some time, and sent a message via the contact form explaining about our situation. Surprisingly, we got an email reply on the same day telling us that the reservation slots will only be opened between 8 and 9 in the morning on Mondays.

And so, we waited for the upcoming Monday to come, and got onto the website even before 8 am. At last, we managed to make an appointment. There were less than 40 slots available for that particular week, and they all were gone within the first few minutes. No wonder we couldn't make a reservation after trying so many times. It reminded me about the time when we tried to make an appointment for the AZ vaccination in Malaysia where all the available slots were gone in less than half an hour as millions of people were racing to get an appointment for early vaccination.

Many people were so disappointed at that time as they couldn't get an appointment after trying very hard to get one, and then, they had to go through many months of uncertainty while waiting to receive their appointment date set by the health ministry department, by checking their status many times everyday, not knowing whether they will be getting an appointment for sure, as there was rumour about there were not enough vaccine for everyone, or when will they get it, while seeing some others who were younger were getting their appointment and vaccination done, but they themselves still haven't received an appointment after many months of waiting. The anxiety level was building up for many people who were anxiously waiting to receive their appointment, as there was no confidence and trust at all towards the 'messy' government at that time. Ironically, there were other people in many other countries in the world rejecting any kind of vaccination out of their own particular reasons, and the governments have been throwing out their expired unused vaccines. And that's their freedom.

Meanwhile, the earliest dates that we could get an appointment for applying the resident card were a few weeks after my 90 days deadline. And hence, immediately, my husband sent another email to them explaining about the situation of whether there will be any complication for me since I couldn't start applying for the resident card within the 90 days deadline due to the difficulty of booking the appointment slots. And very efficiently, they replied within a few hours, saying that they understood the complication that many people have been going through, and would take the confirmation email with the date of making the reservation for the appointment before the deadline as part of the application procedure, which means that I don't need to leave France. What a relief after two months of uncertainty trying to find a living space and dealing with legal documentation. That's life. And it's okay.

Finally, the appointment day arrived. We took the train to Annecy on the day before and stayed one night at the Hotel des Alpes (highly recommended for its cleanliness, friendly staff, and excellent location), to make sure that we won't miss the appointment due to any reasons, since it's very difficult to get an appointment. The next morning, we went to the Prefecture half an hour earlier than the appointment time, and got our numbers. After waiting for a few minutes, we were called.

It was a really fast and warm experience, maybe because we had prepared the few documents (both original and copy) that is needed for the application in the exact order that they asked for. The officer who attended our files, was really friendly, helpful and funny, which we normally don't see in some countries' government departments where most of the officers are very 'formal', or even 'shouting' at the people who are anxious and confused about many overly complicated procedures. She was really 'impressed' that we even had kept our flight tickets that show which date that we arrived in France. It was a complete opposite governmental affair experience from where I came from. After checking all our documents, we got our 'temporary' resident card being issued immediately, and I can now officially live and work in France. Usually the resident card will be ready within six months, but due to the past two years of pandemic, there are backlogs and delays in processing and issuing the resident card, but it's not a problem at all, said the officer. We can just go directly to the Prefecture in the afternoon without making appointment to renew the temporary card, if we still haven't received our resident card within six months. The entire application process took less than 30 minutes for both our applications. Thank you, France.

The world just needs more openness and humanity to make life easier and simpler for everyone. However, due to survival instinct on top of the political influenced racial and national identity, that is propagating selfishness and discrimination, more and more human beings in different areas in the world are heading towards the opposite of openness and humanity, which they don't realize that it will only lead towards many different types of complication and difficulty in all and everyone, including themselves.

We just do our best to make things work, if possible, and let it be.

Thank you.

Want to learn and practice yoga? (2)

It depends on whether one is interested to learn and practice yoga for self-inquiry and self-realization to transcend the modification of the mind, to know thyself, or, one is only interested to learn and practice some sorts of physical yoga asana, breathing and relaxation exercises, or, one is interested in both physical and mental practices. 

Just as some 'yoga teachers' of certain lineages emphasize on teaching the physical movements and exercises, as they believe that most minds are not ready or suitable for the mental practices before purifying and disciplining the physical body first (perfecting the body first, then only perfecting the mind), and some 'yoga teachers' of certain lineages emphasize on teaching the mental practices (looking after the 'head', and everything else will look after themselves naturally if the 'head' is perfect), while some 'yoga teachers' of certain lineages emphasize on teaching both at the same time, believing that both practices being practiced together are complimenting each other respectively (a knife needs to have both the handle and the blade to be useful and efficient). And there's nothing wrong as they all have their own good reason.

It's about the different degrees of ignorance and egoism that determining which method is more suitable or less suitable for some.

No matter what is/are the reason(s) that ignited the interest to be learning and practicing yoga, either for self-inquiry and self-realization, or to be doing some yoga asana, breathing and relaxation exercises for maintaining and enhancing physical and mental health and fitness, there are some mental practices that are important even before the start of doing some sorts of physical movements and exercises mainly for health and fitness, for attaining maximum benefits and minimizing the risk of injury, not to say, before the start of the intense mental purification process that leads towards self-inquiry and self-realization.

One might not be able to perform certain kind of physical movements and exercises due to some physical condition or time and space limitation, but one can still be practicing yoga if one knows and is engaging oneself in the mental practices in every moment, regardless of whether one is engaging in some sorts of physical movements and exercises, or not, and regardless of what is the physical health and fitness condition, ability and disability.

One can be doing some sorts of yoga physical movements and exercises diligently and regularly, which is also part of the yoga practices that can be influencing the state of the mind to certain extend, which is also impermanent, but one might not be practicing yoga at all, if one doesn't know and doesn't integrate these mental practices into the physical practices, that eventually leads the perceptive mind to go beyond or transcending the impermanent conditions of the body and states of the mind.

There's nothing wrong if someone is not interested in disciplining the egoistic behavior pattern of the mind for self-inquiry and self-realization, to free the mind from ignorance and egoism, but only interested in gaining momentary benefits and satisfaction from doing some physical movements and exercises regularly, regardless of it's from doing some physical yoga asana, breathing and relaxation exercises or some other forms of physical fitness training. It's just that the mind might still be functioning under the egoistic behavior pattern, being over-powered by the passionate desire of craving and aversion, attachment, identification and expectation, and is still being determined and disturbed very much by the selfless impermanent perception of names and forms being perceived through the senses, of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations, and thoughts/feelings/emotions/past memories/future anticipations, that the impure mind spontaneously likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees with, desires and doesn't desire. And hence, the mind is still restless, even after many years of doing some sorts of physical movements and exercises, while enjoying the momentary benefits and pleasant sensations and feelings deriving from the physical training. These minds would blame others' imperfection and the perceived names and forms that they dislike, disagree with and don't desire, for their own mind reaction of dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurts, painful sorrow, unhappiness or suffering towards undesirable, disagreeable and unpleasant experiences.

A healthy, strong and flexible physical body that can perform many physical actions and movements doesn't and cannot determine a person as a 'yogi'.

Meanwhile, those who are interested in learning and practicing both physical and mental practices at the same time, would be developing essential mental/inner stamina, strength and flexibility that is essential for self-inquiry and self-realization when they integrate the mental practices into the physical practices under the correct understanding and attitude towards the goal of learning and practicing yoga.

One learns about how to observe the behavior pattern of one's mind, to know what is going on in the mind, during the learning process and while performing the yoga practices under certain names and forms. Understanding that those physical movements and exercises as well as the side-effects/benefits deriving from the physical practices don't determine anything, but only serve as tools to help influencing the state of the mind, to help eliminate egoism and quieting the restless modification of the mind, preparing the mind for self-inquiry and self-realization. Understanding that peace, compassion, and the ability to let go, are not being determined by physical condition, ability and limitation. One learns about focusing on one's practice, developing self-reliance through correct understanding and self-inquiry, knowing that the one and only teacher cum practitioner is none other but the mind itself. None can purify and discipline the mind, and remove ignorance from the mind, but the mind itself.

These basic mental practices are indeed the foundation as well as the entire mind purification process of freeing the mind from egoism and ignorance, which is the root cause of restlessness, peacelessness, unhappiness, painful sorrow, or suffering. Upon the annihilation of egoism and ignorance, the mind is free from all these corruptions, where unconditional peace is there as it is, that is uncontaminated, undetermined or undisturbed by the selfless mind perception of names and forms, that is free from identification, or the idea of 'I', 'my' and 'mine'. These mental practices being integrated into the physical practices also help to minimize the risk of physical injury, while allowing the body to absorb the benefits/effects of the yoga asana, breathing and relaxation exercises more efficiently.

It's understandable that many minds are not interested in the mental practices, as it is not a pleasant or agreeable process, and it could be extremely disgusting and painful for the passionate egoistic minds under the influence of ignorance being conditioned strongly by certain worldly thinking and belief. Especially the passionate minds that have strong egoism, or the closed minds that are not opened for anything that is different from their own particular thinking and belief, or the minds that take pride in their 'intelligence', 'education', 'accumulated knowledge', 'origin', 'social status', 'religious status', 'nationality', 'ethnicity', 'achievement', 'profession' and 'life experiences', as well as the disturbed minds that are highly sensitive and defensive, might generate certain degrees of aversion towards the mental practices that meant to be 'weakening', 'breaking' and 'eliminating' the ego, or what the mind thinks and believes, and identifies as 'I'.

And hence, some minds might not be ready or suitable to be practicing such mental practices unless they have certain degrees of awareness, and are willingly to go beyond the aversion/resistance in them, while letting go the ego and egoism that made them think and believe that 'that' is who and what they are, and starting to take responsibility for investigating and knowing what is happening in their own mind, without self-blaming or blaming others for all kinds of corruptions or actions and reactions arising and passing away in the selfless modification of the mind.

1.) Let go past desirable and undesirable/pleasant and unpleasant experiences. Let go future anticipation/imagination/expectation. There's only the present moment, it's impermanent, and there's no 'I'.

2.) Let go any expectation towards oneself, the teacher, the experience, the process, the performance, the practice, the result of practice, the life existence, the relationships, the surrounding environment and the world to be or not to be in certain way.

3.) Let go judgment towards oneself and others, the physical condition/ability and limitation, the mental state/ability and limitation, the teacher, the teachings, the different practices, the consequences of the different practices, and all kinds of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses.

4.) Let go comparison between one's past and present experiences/abilities/disabilities, between oneself and others, between others and others, between the different types of names and forms (such as between apple and orange), and between the different qualities of the similar type of names and forms (such as between different varieties of apple).

5.) Let go desire of craving and aversion. Allow the perceived reality being what it is, as it is, as it changes from moment to moment. Respect the law of nature and all the impermanent changes as they are. One can still be aware of what is agreeable and disagreeable, but without generate craving/clinging towards what is agreeable and without generate aversion/hatred towards what is disagreeable.

6.) Let go all kinds of identification towards the body and the mind, the existing worldly egoistic thinking and belief, the momentary worldly relationships with all kinds of living beings and objects, the actions and fruit of actions. Observe what is happening in the physical body, what is going on in the mind, and what is happening in the surrounding environment or in the world, without attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

7.) Respect the body and mind, and their ability and limitation in the present moment as it is, even if it's unlikable, disagreeable or undesirable to the impure mind under certain worldly standard and expectation, without forcing the body and mind to go beyond its limitation in the present moment.

8.) Just do one's best, regardless of whether in one's daily life, or in one's yoga practice, according to the present condition of the body and state of the mind, as well as the possibility and impossibility being conditioned by the current situation and the surrounding environment, while allowing the fruit of the practice or the action being what it is. Both possibility and impossibility in the present moment will change. Focus on the possibility and let go the impossibility in the present moment, without attachment, identification or expectation.

9.) Let go the existing worldly thinking, belief and values in one's mind. Allow the mind to be opened towards what is already known, yet to be known and unknown to the mind.

10.) Let go blind-agreeing/disagreeing, blind-believing/disbelieving, blind-following, blind-practicing and blind-propagating. Investigate and inquire the truth of everything, of what is known and unknown to the mind, upon coming in contact with all kinds of names and forms, including the teachings and practices of yoga.

11.) Let go the idea of 'I', 'my', and 'mine'.

12.) Let go the sense of origin, belonging, self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, meaningfulness, superiority/inferiority, and etc.

13.) Let go worldly habits of socializing, gossiping, criticizing, condemning, slandering, back-biting, boasting, glorifying, story telling, scheming, plotting, hoarding, day-dreaming, building castle in the air, aspiring, inspiring, or chasing after attention, acknowledgement, love, liking, support, accreditation, praise, compliment, approval, acceptance, agreement, appreciation, connection, interaction and companionship.

14.) Let go discrimination and interference towards the different qualities of names and forms. Embrace accommodation and non-interference. This is living in peace and harmony with all kinds of living beings of different qualities sharing this space of the universe, both known and unknown, near and distance, without the need of building or maintaining worldly personal relationship or friendship. This is nothing to do with selfishness or unfriendliness, but in fact, it's non-discriminating friendliness towards all and everyone, beyond interactive personal relationship or friendship building. One can be kind towards others and helping one another even when one is disagreeable with the others, and without the need of knowing one another personally. What others do and don't do, what others think and believe or don't think and disbelieve, how others live their life, how others act and react, and what others want to do with their body and mind and life existence, is their freedom. Just mind about one's mind, and let others mind about their minds. It's not selfish. It's compassion.

15.) Let go mental and emotional dependence, passion and lust. Embrace mental and emotional independence, dispassion, renunciation, silence, seclusion and solitude. One can still be performing actions (both action and inaction) that benefit oneself and/or others, that contribute to peace in oneself and in the world, while being dispassionate and renouncing worldly affairs and activities, in silence, seclusion and solitude. This is not easy for many egoistic minds, as most people growing up being 'trained' to be mentally and emotionally dependent on 'parents', 'siblings', 'children', 'family and friends', 'community', 'pets', 'anything that represent interaction of acceptance, love and support', and so on, deeply believing that it's wrong, abnormal, selfish and crazy, if human beings are mentally and emotionally independent, where somebody doesn't need to depend on receiving acceptance, love and support from any other living beings to feel good and meaningful about oneself or life existence.

16.) Develop self-management or self-discipline. Choosing and filtering inputs and activities of the body and mind, unless the mind is no longer being determined, influenced or affected by the physical condition, the state of the mind, and any kinds of physical and mental inputs and activities, regardless of depression or stimulation to the mind. Such as one isn't being determined or affected by food consumption, caffeine intake, sleeping pattern/hour/duration, other people's state of the mind, behavior, action and reaction, the surrounding environment, the worldly affairs and conditions, the personal and group relationships, or certain physical and mental activities. This is not discrimination, but it's compassion towards oneself, knowing that oneself doesn't have strong foundation of non-attachment yet, and would easily be influenced and affected by the different qualities of names and forms, either physically or mentally, or both.

17.) Allow the body and mind to take their own time to be relaxed, to release tension, to build up physical and mental skill, stamina, strength and flexibility, to take rest, to recover, to work, to realize, to understand, and to absorb the effects of the practice.

18.) One doesn't need to be perfect, or good enough. One doesn't need to be a hero to save the world from badness. One just do one's best of what is possible and within one's capability in the present moment. What is good or not good enough, and what is goodness or badness, is impermanent. It's not 'I'.

19.) One doesn't need to be super strong or strong enough physically, mentally or emotionally to forbear pain, hurt or unpleasantness up to certain degrees. One just needs to know the truth of names and forms, or knows thyself, or knows what is going on in the mind, to be aware of all kinds of pleasant and unpleasant, desirable and undesirable experiences, without attachment and identification, without being determined or disturbed by the perceived reality that is impermanent and it's not 'I'.

20.) One doesn't need to be able to know everything, or be able to do everything, or be somebody of certain qualities, or be able to achieve anything, or be superhuman with extraordinary ability, or be positive and optimistic, but just needs to be understanding towards and respecting the law of nature, of cause and effect, of selflessness and impermanence. It's okay if the mind is still under the influence of ignorance and egoism, and still perceiving painful sorrow, unhappiness, hurts, dissatisfaction, disappointment, fear, anger, or any forms of suffering. Accepting the mind as it is even though it's not perfect and still doesn't understand many things, or still be determined and disturbed by names and forms, or still can't let go, or still can't do certain things after trying many times. There's nothing wrong with emotion, to laugh or to cry, either with or without reason, but without attachment, identification or judgment. It's impermanent, and it's not 'I'.

The mind that knows this, doesn't attach onto any names and forms, or be able to let go if there's presence of attachment. This mind is fearless. This mind is void of painful sorrow, even though the body is subject to limitation, uncertainty, unpleasantness, pain, illness, injury, weakness, old age, decay, or cease functioning/decomposition/death.

Walking away out of wisdom and compassion vs Running away out of aversion

Some yoga enthusiasts might be confusing and criticizing about the important yoga practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude as 'a form of aversion towards something that the mind doesn't like and doesn't desire', or 'running away' from 'unpleasant reality', 'problems', 'difficulties' or 'duties and responsibilities'.

It's common that many passionate minds would like to be able to escape or runaway from what the mind doesn't like, doesn't agree with and doesn't desire, while yoga practice is not about escaping or running away from 'the unpleasant/disagreeable/undesirable problematic and chaotic world' at all, but being aware of and respecting the world being what it is, as it is, even if it's unpleasant, disagreeable and undesirable.

The yoga practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude through letting go and retreating or moving away from the worldly egoistic community, social affairs, activities and interactions has nothing to do with aversion towards 'what the mind doesn't like and doesn't desire', or running away from 'unpleasant reality', 'difficulties', 'problems', or 'duties and responsibilities'.

It's out of wisdom, one is aware of all kinds of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world, and, out of compassion towards oneself and the world of ignorance, as well as for conserving energy and diverting attention to be focusing on one's yoga practice, one chooses to move away or walk away from something that sprung from ignorance as well as feeding and empowering ignorance. One doesn't need to be wasting any energy and attention into forbearing and dealing with all kinds of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world.

The practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude is indeed one of the toughest practices for many yoga enthusiasts. It's indeed a challenging and difficult task for many impure egoistic passionate minds, however, ironically, it's also being widely misunderstood by many passionate minds as 'Running away from the worldly commitments, cares, worries, difficulties and problems to be enjoying a free and easy way of living.'

The main teaching and practice of yoga is about realizing unconditional peace through transcending all kinds of ignorance induced suffering or mental corruptions by freeing the mind from passionate egoistic attachment, identification, and desires of craving and aversion. All kinds of physical and mental benefits deriving from performing some sorts of yoga practice regularly doesn't mean anything, if the mind is still being over-powered by worldly passionate egoistic attachment and identification, and the desires of craving and aversion, even after many years of practicing yoga or teaching yoga to others.

One who never works on eliminating or transcending the passionate desires of craving and aversion, who doesn't work on disciplining the senses, but whether wittingly or unwittingly being the slave of the senses and ceaselessly chasing after the objects of the senses to gratify the desires of craving and aversion, and taking the achievement of gratifying the desires of craving and aversion as the highest meaning and enjoyment of life existence, while trying to live a 'pure and clean' way of 'yogic' living by promoting and consuming bio-organic type of vegetarian non-animal products and adopting an ecological environmental friendly way of living, but then the mind is unwittingly being 'disturbed' or 'annoyed' by what the mind sees, hears, smells, tastes, senses and thinks/imagines/visualizes that it doesn't like, doesn't agree with and doesn't desire, as there is intense attachment and identification towards the body and mind as well as all kinds of qualities of names and forms as 'who/what am I', being conditioned strongly by certain worldly thinking and belief and values to behave, act and react, then one isn't really practicing yoga, even though one is being an avid vegetarian and is being motivated for doing some sorts of yoga, breathing and meditation practice on a regular basis, and is enjoying the many momentary physical and mental benefits deriving from performing those practices for many years.

The passionate egoistic minds, including some yoga enthusiasts who think they love practicing and teaching yoga, couldn't comprehend but rejecting this essential teaching and practice of disciplining the passionate egoistic behavior pattern of the mind, and that's their freedom of thinking and understanding.

None can remove ignorance from one's mind but the mind itself.

Unless the mind is already firmly grounded in selflessness, attributelessness, namelessness and formlessness, where the senses are perfectly tamed, where the mind is no longer being 'determined', 'disturbed' or 'influenced' by the selfless modifications of the mind, of the ceaseless perception of names and forms being perceived through the senses (the selfless impermanent world of names and forms), then there's no more yoga practice. There's no need of the practice of renunciation, dispassion, silence, seclusion and solitude, where one can live and mingle among the worldly passionate egoistic minds and affairs, but being at peace as one is, being undetermined by actions and inactions or the fruit of actions and inactions, being free from restlessness, painful sorrow and suffering, being free from ignorance and egoistic attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, or expectation, being undisturbed and uninfluenced by what is happening in the world, regardless of goodness or badness.

Loneliness doesn't exist for the minds that know this. There's nothing wrong in those who are suffering from loneliness, and those who think and believe that loneliness is a suffering or illness caused by not having enough companionship, love, care, support, attention, acknowledgement and social interaction from some other beings, it's just that the minds are still functioning under the influence of worldly passionate egoistic thinking and belief and values.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Unconditional peace and compassion doesn't mean silence towards abusive behaviors

Compassion doesn't mean that the mind is being silent and accommodating towards all kinds of abusive behaviors in the world inflicted upon oneself and/or others, encouraging and empowering all kinds of ignorant abusive behaviors. Having unconditional peace in oneself doesn't mean that one doesn't perform any actions or doesn't react towards all kinds of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world.

Unconditional peace and compassion is there as it is, while the mind is being aware of all kinds of agreeable and disagreeable names and forms, actions, behaviors and events in the world, without being determined or disturbed by all those names and forms, and there are necessary actions being performed selflessly out of compassion, but the mind is not being determined or disturbed by actions and the fruit of actions, being free from attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

One can be shouting loudly for certain reason, but the unconditional peace is undetermined and undisturbed by the action of shouting and the result of shouting. The mind is peaceful as it is regardless of actions and reactions arising and passing away, as there's no attachment or identification towards the actions or the fruit of actions.

A peaceful being might be behaving like a mad man from the appearance while living in this world of many kinds of madness, but the mind is ever clear and calm, void of egoistic attachment and identification.

While performing actions being busy with many duties and responsibilities, and dealing with desirable and undesirable events in life, the mind is not being determined by the actions, the fruit of actions, and the presence and absence of desirable and undesirable events, and that's unconditional peace amid all kinds of ups and downs in life. 'Peace' that comes and goes, that is being determined by action and inaction, the fruit of action and inaction, as well as the presence and absence of desirable and undesirable events in life, is just a conditional momentary fleeting sense of satisfaction, contentment, goodness and meaningfulness.

My life stories - Part 16 (Finding a living space)

My life Stories – Part 16 (Finding a living space)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

(Updated in end of April)

From the beginning, we knew that it will be challenging for moving to another country starting a new life. We just do our best to do whatever we need to do, and let things fall into places as they are, at their own pace. While waiting for things to happen as they are after we did our best, there are certain difficulties that people need to go through due to the imperfect system created by human beings that are mostly unnecessary.

The longer we are here, the more glad and grateful we are for being here at the moment, despite of the inevitable difficulties. We love the region, the calmness, the people, the food, the architectures, the historical aspects, the well-developed infrastructure, the rubbish management, the nature, the seasonal climate, the democracy, the freedom of being and the freedom of expression.

I enjoy hearing people speaking in French even though I don't really know what people are talking about. Even though I don't mind that I am not interacting with anyone or if I am not being understood by others, I am still learning a little bit of French here and there, without forcing myself that I have to be able to speak fluent French within how many days/months/years. I have no difficulty for being at somewhere that I don't speak their language. Being kind and understanding towards others' imperfection, and respecting all the differences among the diversities, without interference towards others for being who and what they are, as well as having awareness and self-control not to cause unnecessary damages and inconveniences to others, is nothing to do with being able to be understanding and interacting with others in a specific language, or not. People who speak the same language might not necessary be kind and understanding towards each other.

Since we arrived in France, we have been 'living' in the hotel. No doubt that it's a very good and comfortable spacious room, a lot bigger than many apartments in France, but it's not an ideal permanent space for living. Even before we left Malaysia, my husband's manager already told him that it's very difficult to get an apartment for long term rental in France for those who are actually living and working here, especially in this area where property prices and rents are a lot more expensive than some other regions in France due to the high demand and low supply mainly because of the tourism industry as well as many French people who work near the border in Switzerland prefer to live in France as cost of living in Switzerland is a lot more expensive than in France, but then this also causes the rental apartments near the border in France went up higher as these people can afford higher rents than those who are actually living and working in France. Already there were few people telling us that we should work in Switzerland, as people who speak multiple languages are in high demand in Switzerland, and the pay is almost triple than in France doing the same work. Many apartments here are either catering for those who work in Switzerland or being converted into higher profit holiday rentals to yield higher profit. It's a place for people owning one or a few private holiday homes that sit empty most of the time.

It's quite a challenge for us to find a long term place to rent here based on what we can afford and the eligibility. It's not that difficult if people have a higher capacity and budget where they can rent any apartment that they like. It's also not so much of a problem if people have lower income, provided if they have been living in France for more than two years, because by then they are eligible to be getting special social housing rentals under the government's policy that looks after the welfare of the people more than some other countries' corrupted government that are not about looking after the people at all. My husband has some ongoing dental problems and had to pay a visit to the dentist some time ago, and this is covered by the social security health insurance. While living in Malaysia we had spent thousands of ringgit for several dental visits.

It's just rather difficult for people who have just arrived in France, starting a new job and have a rather low salary, to be looking for a living place to rent, as getting a long term rental in France is restricted by some obligated conditions, such as the need of showing past three months payslip in France, as well as one can only be eligible to rent a place where the rental is not more than one third of the salary. And hence, people can only be staying in a hotel or renting an AIRBNB for the first few months, which of cause is a lot more expensive than what people would like it to be.

We are grateful and thankful that the hotel management is being very thoughtful for addressing this 'difficulty' that all of their new employees who come from everywhere in the world have to go through, where they arrange free accommodation in the hotel for up to three months, allowing the new employees to take the required time to find their own space of living so that they don't need to worry too much on that issue while diverting their energy and attention onto their new job at a new environment.

Although long term rentals in France is still considered cheaper than in many other European countries, but due to the high demand and low supply, especially in certain areas that economically relying on tourism a lot, where many apartments are being operated as AIRBNB for higher profit, and the basic salary is struggling to catch up with the higher cost of living, quite many people who have lower income are having great difficulty finding a 'decent' long term rental at an affordable rate. Even so, it's still affordable for us to live in France than in Ireland, as we won't be able to afford to live in Ireland at all, even if my husband has a job there. The rental is at least doubled for the similar type of property and everything cost more expensive in Ireland, where the basic salary is not inline with the cost of living. Things will be more costly everywhere in the world now due to the ridiculous 'wars' on top of the long term side-effects of the prolonged pandemic.

The available long term rentals with cheaper rent are those that are not very well maintained apartments in some old buildings that consume higher rate of electricity usage and gas emission, which people try to avoid nowadays.

Even if some people might have some additional savings that allow them to rent a bigger and better place with higher rental, but it's not possible because they are being restricted by the income status on the monthly payslips, even when they propose to pay a full year rent in advance. On another side, they are also not eligible for getting certain rentals that are being reserved for social housing since they are living and working in France for less than two years.

It means that people are 'stuck' in such situation during the first two years living and working in France, as they couldn't find a 'reasonable' place to rent because of the low monthly income status and they are not qualified for applying social housing yet, or they can only be able to rent one of the unmaintained old apartments that required higher expenses on consuming electricity and gas, which is not economical and environmental friendly. Even when we went to the social welfare department in town asking for help in finding affordable rental apartment, they also said to us that they knew about this 'difficulty' that many French people and foreigners are facing, but that's the way it is, and there's nothing that they can do to help. They said that the earliest time that people can rent a social housing apartment is two years after initial application.

We have been trying to look for an apartment where we would prefer it's just a short walking distance from the hotel so that my husband doesn't need to waste too much time and energy on commuting between home and work place. If the apartment is not within feasible walking distance, we would need to spend more money on getting a car as well as bearing the additional expenses of having a car, which we try to avoid. Public transportation is available here conveniently, but the fixed schedule isn't suitable for my husband as he is working in the night shift. We also try to find an apartment that has a separate bedroom, so that my husband can have a good rest after work. However, I try to coordinate with my husband's sleeping hours, so that I won't create too much disturbance for him while we are 'living' in a hotel room at the moment, or if we will be living in a studio apartment without separate bedroom.

In the beginning, we have tried to request to view some of the available apartments that are within our budget, but, many of the agents didn't even bother to get back to us after we sent them the details of our situation as new arrivals in France, as we wouldn't be eligible to rent anything here, even if we have the money because we don't have the past three months payslip in France yet.

And then, one of the agents didn't mind about the availability of the past three months payslip condition, and showed us one of the apartment, which 'sorts of' fit into our budget and certain requirement, however, it's in an old apartment building that is not very well maintained, as well as it doesn't have very good natural light or privacy as all the residents within this building will be passing by the apartment's window as they are coming back and going out, and more importantly, it feels 'depressing' when we were inside the apartment even though the interior renovation and equipment is rather 'new' and 'tidy'. Another thing to be considered is that whether the immediate neighbours are open minded and thoughtful for others who are sharing the same apartment building, or not. From looking at the common area of the building, we could see that it might not be the suitable place to live a simple quiet life.

After that, we found another apartment where the direct owner allowed us to view the apartment, and it was slightly cheaper than the previous one, but again, it feels 'depressing' while being in that space that also doesn't have enough natural light, where we would need to turn on the lights even during the sunny day, as it is shielded from the sunlight due to the proximate surrounding apartment buildings. The owner also mentioned that she is 'worried' that we might not be able to pay the rent, as it is more than one third of my husband's salary, even when we told her that we live a low cost simple way of life. There's another thing to be considered is about the safety features. Many of these walk-up multi level old apartments can only be accessible via a narrow wooden staircase. It will be difficult if there's a fire starting from the lower apartment. There's no way out. And because it is located on a touristy pedestrian street as well as there are restaurants and shops under and around the apartment, it means that there will be people on the street talking and smoking especially during the day time when my husband needs to sleep after work. If so, we can't really open the windows to have fresh air into the apartment.

We also visited four other apartments dealing with direct owners. One of them is a fully furnished one room worn-out apartment on the top floor of a 4 storey walk-up old apartment building that isn't being maintained at all. The apartment's wooden flooring is moving and making lots of noise whenever there's a movement. The rent is on the higher end too. While another one is an unfurnished and unequipped but recently renovated with some modern features one plus one room apartment on the third floor. However, it has a low ceiling and doesn't have good air ventilation. The rent is not cheap too. The other two apartments are also in a depressing state that in need of immediate attention and refreshment. Obviously they all are unsuitable for us. We don't mind paying higher rent if it's a good quality apartment in good health, but these apartments don't worth the high rent.

And then there are other nicer and newer apartments further away from the busy town area that we are interested to check them out, and the rents are within our budget, but my husband's salary isn't eligible for renting any of them, unless we have a guarantor. There are some social housing apartments available for rent but then we needed to wait after two full years of living and paying tax in France to be qualified for it.

After many considerations and discussions between my husband and I, we decided to just try to get whatever is available to us, such as getting a basic unfurnished/unequipped apartment, either with or without separate bedroom, but at least well-maintained and cheerful enough, that is healthy to live in, even if we have to spend more money on buying our own furniture/equipment and buying a car.

Luckily after nearly 2 months of apartment hunting, we finally found a place that we can actually live in. Although it's only a tiny studio apartment that doesn't have a separate bedroom which is one important criteria for my husband, but, it's almost fully furnished and well-equipped with daily life essentials. It's a space full of 'history and character' and it meets most of our requirements for a living space, even if it's just for the first year. We don't need a 'big' space as we don't have many things. While I just need a clean, bright, well-ventilated and quiet space that is big enough for me to do some yoga exercises. Although just by being there for a few minutes might be very different experience from when we are actually living in it.

This tiny apartment is inside a well-maintained historical building. Even though it's only about 20 square meters, about one third of the size of the hotel junior suite room, but it's not depressing or congested at all, as it has a high ceiling and was well renovated under a very thoughtful and practical design with good quality of materials, where we can actually live there comfortably. The two windows are south facing without any blockage from the opposite apartment buildings that are located distance enough, which means that we will be getting the sun light coming into the apartment for a couple of hours all year long. It's bright enough even during cloudy days, as it was a cloudy day when we visited the apartment. It has a very thick wall, which means that it will not be too hot in the summer. The best thing is that, the two windows are over-looking at the very secluded private courtyard with a very peaceful garden, which we are able to access anytime even though we don't have a balcony. Although the windows are outdated and needed to be replaced with better insulated windows, and they said that it will be replaced a few months later after we moved in and before the next winter. Surely, it will cause some inconvenience for us during the installation, but it has to be done for long term economical and environmental reason. Another great thing is that the apartment is also less than 350 meters away, about 5 minutes walk, from the hotel.

The only downside is that it has no separate bedroom, but it's okay, as it has everything else that we are looking for to live a simple quiet life. The toilet, the shower, the wash basin and drainage, the cooker top and hob, the work surface, the fridge, the washing machine, the bed frame, the storage system, the lighting, the outside hallway and entrance, the public space, and the little details of a practical living space, are all good enough. The overall soundproof is good enough as we didn't hear any noise while being in the apartment even when there's renovation going on in some other apartments within the building at that time. However, the walls between the different apartments on the same level are not completely soundproof, but it's still good enough though. There's enough space for me to do some yoga practice. It's also within our budget and my husband's salary is eligible for it. The agent was also welcoming, and apparently, he had been travelling to Langkawi and Penang right before the pandemic.

Even though the apartment building is located beside a busy main road and surrounded by side streets, but this particular apartment is facing the inner courtyard away from the noise of the busy road and streets. We can open the windows for fresh air at anytime. However, what we didn't know at that time was that during the warmer months, there are lots of activities and noises coming from people hanging out and chitchatting in front of the supermarket next to the apartment building. Unlike the other bigger apartments that we have visited before, where we have doubt of 'maybe yes and maybe no', we both spontaneously like and agree with this one, even after a few days to think about it. We immediately said 'Yes' to the agent after seeing it.

Finally, we moved into this apartment on the second week of April after getting the first phase of the legal procedure and paper works done. In France, just like in many other countries, there are many complicated procedures that everyone need to go through for living here. Being a tourist is a lot easier than being a resident in any countries nowadays. It doesn't have to be like that, but unfortunately, it is the reality for existing in this tiny space of the vast universe due to the human minds are functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism that generate many unnecessary complications, instead of simplifying everything.

It will take some time for us to be settling in as we still need to get certain essential things like bedding, cooking, dining and cleaning utensils, as well as some other 'equipment' for organizing certain things for more efficiency and convenience to be living in our new little 'temporary' home. Anywhere that we live, either in a self-owned property or in a rented space, is just a temporary living space, just as everything that are existing in this space of the universe is temporary.

We are glad to have found this place in the end, or the place has been waiting for us to come.

After a few weeks of living in this tiny apartment, we feel more and more comfortable living in this space after making some adjustment and accommodation among the two of us for living in a 20 square meter space after having living in much bigger space in the past. It's not just that the inside space of the apartment is comfortable enough, especially it's just for temporary stay while we take our time to look for another apartment that is more suitable for longer stay, but the entire experience of coming home stepping into a well-maintained building with a long time history, is something that we have never experience before, and the common area of the apartment building is actually more spacious and comfortable than the apartment itself.

Thank you.

READ ON

Want to learn and practice yoga?

The yoga practice that leads to self-inquiry and self-realization towards the truth of impermanence and selflessness in all the names and forms, enabling the mind to be in peace amidst ceaseless changes of the body and mind, and in all the names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses, and hence, allowing the mind to realize/unveil unconditional peace, transcending all the selfless impermanent changes.

The well-trained mind is free from egoistic attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation, allowing the perceived reality being what it is, as it is, and respecting all the impermanent changes of the body and mind and whatever the mind perceives or experiences as they are, regardless of whether the changes are desirable or undesirable, pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable.

In order to realize unconditional peace, the mind needs to know what is conditional and unconditional peace, by inquiring or investigating towards the root cause of 'unrest', 'disturbance', 'dissatisfaction', 'unhappiness', 'doubt', 'fear', 'worry', 'insecurity', or what give rise to the state of 'peacelessness'.

The entire process of learning and practicing yoga, is indeed about developing non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving, non-aversion, non-judgment, non-comparison and non-expectation.

Upon the annihilation of all these egoistic defilement within the modification of the mind, unconditional peace that is unconditioned by selfless impermanent changes, is unveiled. This 'peace' is always there, as it is, never increase nor decrease, but it's whether the mind is free or not free from egoism and ignorance.

'Peace as it is' doesn't mean that there's no perception of names and forms, or changes, or activities within the mind, but the perceptive cognitive thinking mind has gone beyond itself, or the modification of the mind, and is aware of the selfless perception of names and forms as well as all the impermanent changes, without being determined by the selfless impermanent modification of the mind itself.

The mind 'experiences' or 'perceives' unrest or the state of peacelessness, is due to there's grasping or attachment arise towards the perceived names and forms as well as the selfless impermanent changes, and there's desire of craving and aversion towards 'controlling' or 'changing' the perceived reality that the mind likes and doesn't like, agrees and disagrees with, and desires and doesn't desire.

Due to ignorance, there's an individual identity of 'I', that doesn't really exists, but sort of existing in the form of a continuous stream of the ceaseless thought currents, which then unwittingly attaching onto and identifying with the different qualities of names and forms that are selfless and impermanent, that also gives rise to boundless desires that are awaiting to be gratified, and hence, gives rise to 'unrest', 'disturbance', 'dissatisfaction', 'unhappiness', 'doubt', 'fear', 'worry', 'insecurity', or what give rise to the state of 'peacelessness' from within the modification of the mind.

It's very simple.

Attachment/identification (passion) => unrest, or conditional peace/happiness/satisfaction/meaningfulness, being determined by the selfless impermanent changes of good and bad qualities, of pleasantness and unpleasantness, by coming in contact with desirable and undesirable conditions/situations/experiences, or by the gratification and non-gratification of desires.

Void of attachment/identification (dispassion) => unconditional peace, void of desires of craving and aversion, undetermined by the selfless impermanent changes of good and bad qualities, of pleasantness and unpleasantness, of desirable and undesirable conditions/situations/experiences.

However, most egoistic minds encounter extreme difficulty towards comprehending and developing dispassion or the void of attachment/identification, because the minds are being conditioned deeply by all kinds of worldly passionate egoistic social/cultural/community/religious/spiritual/political thinking, beliefs, values and practice that are under the influence of survival instinct, which propagate "Promoting attachment and identification in order to gain maximum support/power/control to protect/preserve/expand 'our' belief and values, creating 'our' world that we desire, that we think and believe how it should be. Anything and anyone that are different from 'us' and are not inline with 'our' belief and values, are 'the annoying obstacles' towards achieving 'our' world that we desire."

'Dispassion' is the essential teaching and practice of yoga and Buddhism towards inner peace and world peace, that leads to oneness/non-separateness/accommodation among all diversities that are selfless and impermanent, however, it's being recognized by the worldly passionate egoistic minds as something 'negative', 'wrong', 'bad', 'insanity', 'selfishness', 'harsh', 'cold', 'inappropriate', 'meaningless', 'unfriendly', 'backward', 'regressive', and etc.

And hence, all kinds of different yoga practice, breathing exercises, diet restriction, worldly interactive and connective activity restriction, observations, concentration and meditation practice are there, to help the yoga practitioners to develop dispassion through non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving, non-aversion, non-judgment, non-comparison and non-expectation, to purify, discipline and quiet the modification of the mind, to perform self-inquiry, to transcend the modification of the mind, to annihilate egoism and ignorance from the contaminated thinking/acting/reacting mind, to realize/unveil unconditional peace, which is the uncontaminated state of the mind itself void of egoism and ignorance.

It's just ceaseless names and forms arising and passing away, selflessly, including the modification of the mind.

It's not about influencing, changing or controlling the names and forms in the world to be or not to be in certain way, to gratified the egoistic desires of craving and aversion, to make everything to be the way that 'I' think and believe how it should be, but it's about purifying, disciplining, quieting and transcending the modification of the impure ignorant egoistic mind itself.

Those who cannot comprehend this, or don't want this, but believing in promoting passionate 'connection', 'creation', 'action' and 'power' to either 'influence', 'create' or 'control' the names and forms in the world to be the way that they think how it should be, the way that they like it to be, while 'blaming' and 'hating' others for their own dissatisfaction and unhappiness due to non-gratified boundless passionate desires and aspirations, that's their freedom.

Everyone have their own favorite colour that they like and agree with, and it's okay. There's nothing wrong if everyone keep their favorite colour to themselves, without forcing others to also like and agree with their favorite colour, while respecting others to have their own different favorite colour, without trying to make or control the world to be in their own particular favorite colour only. That is truly 'unity for world peace' by respecting the different diversities. The world will be peaceful as it is.

Or else, everyone try to interfere with/convert/change/control/force one another to also like and agree with their particular favorite colour, while not respecting others to have their own different favorite colour, and very passionately trying to make the world to only have their own particular favorite colour while not allowing any other colour that they don't like and disagree with to be existing in the world, thinking and believing in that is what 'unity for world peace' is about, by oppressing and eliminating diversity, and hence, that is what happening in the world, where wars, discrimination and hatred are still happening even in the era of so called advanced science and technology, destroying peace and harmony, nature, lives, things and properties, in order to create 'my/our' world the way that 'I/we' desire it to be.

Yoga is not about learning and practicing some yoga asana, breathing and cleansing exercises, or chanting, rituals and prayers, or vegetarianism and positive thinking, or concentration and meditation practice under particular style and brand, to attain some momentary physical and mental benefits or spiritual healing. But through different kinds of practice, freeing the mind from ignorance and the by-products of ignorance. It's not even trying to achieve world peace, but by attaining liberation from ignorance, there will be less ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world.

Siddhartha Gautama Buddha - The Dhamma will be manipulated and eventually disappeared. Let it be.

Swami Sivananda - Do not hoard disciple. Do not build ashram. Do not mix.

Those who don't know, will perceive these teachings as a form of non-appreciation, selfishness, negativity, backward or regression. That's their freedom of thinking.

Only those who know, can truly understand the greatness of these teachings, which is not about non-appreciation towards 'The Dhamma' or 'The lineage'. It's indeed great compassion towards oneself and others.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Be free.

Learn how to love oneself selflessly before anything else

Love that comes with attachment, craving and expectation will only bring pain to oneself and those whom one thinks one loves very much, but not really.

Love that is free from attachment, craving and expectation will bring peace to oneself, regardless of whether others love oneself, or not.

Only those who know how to love oneself selflessly, know how to love others selflessly.

Only those who are free from attachment, craving and expectation towards oneself, know how to love others without attachment, craving and expectation.

Those who love oneself and others selflessly don't need to receive love, acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation and companionship from others to feel good and meaningful about oneself and everything. They don't need others to love them for them to love others.

They love themselves and others as they are.

Those who don't know how to love oneself will try to do many things in order to please others, with craving and expectation towards giving and receiving love, acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation and companionship to and from others, in order to feel good and meaningful about oneself and everything. But then one will feel bad and meaningless about oneself and everything when all these names and forms are absent.

Those who know how to love oneself and others selflessly maybe doing many things for oneself and others, but it's not about pleasing oneself and others, so that oneself and others will feel good and meaningful through giving and receiving love, acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation and companionship among one another.

This is the yoga practice, to realize selfless loving kindness beyond chemistry influenced conditional passionate sensual feelings of love.

Those who know this, are free.

Freedom of expression, disagreement, protest, anger and destructive behavior

Freedom of expression is highly important.

All minds should be free to express their opinion and desire towards what they like and dislike, agree and disagree with, desire and don't desire, but then, of course there will be responsibility towards one's action and the consequences of action.

Freedom to protest against certain issues or things that certain minds dislike, disagree with and don't desire being performed in a reasonable constructive way with the intention for achieving better improvement and constructive development in everyone and in the world, is highly important for looking after the overall welfare of everyone and the surrounding environment.

However, under the influence of ignorance and egoism, protest of any kind, or in another term, reaction towards something that the minds dislike, disagree with and don't desire out of dissatisfaction and anger, either intentionally or unintentionally generating disturbing behaviors and destructive actions that are causing disturbing and destructive consequences into the world that affect everyone else in order to achieve one's desire, or to hurt something that is going against one's desire, is a destructive way of freedom of expression.

Freedom of expression doesn't mean that out of one's dissatisfaction and anger towards something that one dislikes, disagrees with and doesn't desire, anyone can do anything that would cause hurt or damaging impact onto some others or the surrounding environment.

There's neither right nor wrong in having disagreement. None should be blind-agreeing/disagreeing with everything. Unfortunately, most disagreements would lead towards dissatisfaction and anger under the influence of ignorance and egoism. And if without correct understanding and self-control, it leads further towards chain reactions of damaging behavior and destructive consequences onto oneself and/or others.

Just as how the annoyed, frustrated, dissatisfied and angry parents would react towards what they think and believe as 'disobedience' or 'mischievous' of their children who behave in the way that they don't like, don't agree with and don't desire, and out of those impurities arise in themselves, the parents would be verbally, physically, mentally and emotionally hurting their children in certain way, to release their frustration, dissatisfaction or anger, with the justification or excuse of disciplining and punishing their children for their behavior that they perceived as 'bad' and 'wrongful', which actually merely is about themselves are being unhappy and angry towards something that they dislike, disagree with and don't desire. It's not necessarily that there's anything bad or wrong with their children or their behavior.

Out of anger and dissatisfaction under the influence of ignorance and egoism towards something that "I don't like", "I don't agree with" and "I don't desire", people would be reacting and performing actions aggressively or violently that the minds think and believe as 'a form of righteousness, power, strength and in control' by causing intentional or unintentional disturbance and damages to other lives, things and the surrounding environment, while the minds would still think and believe that "I am doing this for the goodness of everyone and demanding positive improvement in the overall welfare of the world." How true is that?

Freedom of expression to express opinion and desire towards disagreement in a way under correct understanding and emotional maturity that would lead to possible constructive improvement in everyone and the surrounding environment, is in line with "Upholding goodness and demanding positive improvement in the overall welfare of the world".

Freedom of expression to express opinion and desire towards disagreement in a way under dissatisfaction and anger that would lead to possible disturbance and destruction in everyone and the surrounding environment in order to gratify one's desire or demand that "I like and agree with", is nothing to do with "Upholding goodness and demanding positive improvement in the overall welfare of the world".

Freedom of expression and action that bring more peace and harmony into the world, or freedom of expression and action that bring more unrest and destruction to oneself and others?

Freedom of expression and action is neither good nor bad, but depending on the different states of the minds, that generates what kind of actions/reactions and consequences.

All minds are free to express what they want to express, and to desire what they like and agree, however, how others react or don't react towards their expression, as well as whether their desire towards what they like and agree with demanding from others will be gratified, or not, is others' freedom on their reaction or non-reaction, as well as whether to give others what they desire, or not. Unfortunately, in most protests, the protesters have the expectation towards receiving certain 'reactions that they expect to be receiving from certain people or some other people', as well as there's expectation towards getting all their desires being gratified as how they expect it to be. And when their desire and expectation are not being gratified the way that they expect it to be, there's disappointment, dissatisfaction and anger. And if without self-control, these unhappy minds would behave violently and destructively out of disappointment, dissatisfaction and anger, reacting spontaneously towards what they don't like, don't agree with and don't desire. Even so, that's their freedom of action/reaction/behavior, even if the consequences of such reactions are not nice and are affecting other lives in the surrounding environment.

All minds must develop correct understanding and self-control in order to achieve peace and harmony in the world among the vast diversity of many different backgrounds, influences and desires towards achieving a world that different individuals and communities would like it to be. Unfortunately, even though it's not impossible, it's difficult to achieve that in this world of selflessness and impermanence as most minds are under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

Embracing and accommodation towards names and forms that are different from oneself/one's community is the only way for achieving peace and harmony in the world of diversities. Discrimination and rejection towards names and forms that are different from oneself/one's community will only lead to further unrest and suffering in all and everyone.

Separateness/discrimination/oppression/selfishness will only lead towards destruction of humanity and peace. And that's the world is heading to, even when there are some people trying very hard to save humanity and to achieve world peace, because there are more and more human beings in the world are leaning towards separateness/discrimination/oppression/selfishness due to survival instinct under the influence of ignorance and egoism, either intentionally or unintentionally, under the name of saving humanity and achieving world peace (the way that they desire based on their particular social/political/religious/cultural thinking, belief, values and practice).

Reflect and inquire towards everything. Inquire towards "Being angry while hurting people and damaging things out of anger doesn't change the world to be a better place." Realize what is "Constructive disagreement and protest without anger, violence, aggressiveness, destruction and hatred."

All by oneself

Teaching yoga is not by telling the students of yoga about what and how they should and shouldn't perceive, think, believe, analyze, understand, judge, feel, act and react, or whether it is right or wrong, or whether it is good or bad, to think, feel, understand, behave, act and react in certain way.

There's neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, regardless of what and how the mind thinks, feels, understands, behaves, acts and reacts, throughout the yoga journey of mind disciplinary, mind purification, self-inquiry and self-realization, as the mind learns, purifies, inquires, reflects, evolves and realizes under the influence of ignorance and egoism, even if the mind has been ignorant, and has to go through falling, mistake making and suffering, for countless times.

It's whether the mind develops self-initiative and complete independence without attaching or depending on any forms of external 'teacher', 'answer' or 'blessing', to be aware of ignorance and egoism in itself, to free itself from worldly egoistic conditional thinking and behavior pattern, to free itself from the influence of ignorance and egoism, through self-effort, self-discipline, solitude, renunciation, determination and perseverance, or not, that allows the mind to be aware of what is going on in the mind itself, being the greatest teacher of itself, without attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation, or not.

The greatest teaching from the existence of a teacher, is being the Dhamma or the teaching itself, while allowing the students to learn, purify, inquire, reflect, evolve and realize at their own pace and cause.

As long as the mind is still reluctant or not knowing how to look within, still has egoistic dependency, attachment, clinging, longing and expectation towards 'teacher', 'guidance', 'answers', 'blessing', 'acknowledgement', 'appreciation', 'acceptance', 'love', 'kindness', 'goodness', 'positiveness', 'righteousness', 'meaningfulness', 'achievement', 'compassion', 'companionship', 'connection', 'community' and so on, in order to clear one's doubt or ignorance towards this and that, to feel good and meaningful towards oneself, the world, life existence and one's involvement in certain kind of spiritual practice or pure and clean living, then even though this mind has been learning and studying about all kinds of teachings from many books and/or from many different teachers of different lineages and schools, or has been practicing certain spiritual teachings and performing certain spiritual practices regularly for a prolonged period of time, or has been accumulating virtues and merits from performing many generous kind acts, or there is a teacher (or many teachers) who is (are) the embodiment of Dhamma being very close to oneself, it still doesn't and won't remove the ignorance and egoism from this mind. And there's nothing wrong or bad about that. The mind just needs to take as much effort and practice as it needs, to free itself from the influence of ignorance and egoism, to attain self-realization via self-inquiry.

The mind that is independent, that knows non-attachment and non-identification, that knows non-craving and non-aversion, that knows non-judgment and non-expectation, that knows how to look within and how to reflect upon everything that it perceives, or knows how to be opened and inquires towards the truth of everything, it doesn't need any external teachers other than itself (the existence and function of the selfless and impermanent perceptive, cognitive, assertive, egoistic thinking faculty) and everything that it perceives through the senses (the selfless and impermanent modification of the mind, either under the influence of ignorance and egoism, or free from the influence of ignorance and egoism).

Independence and the practice of renunciation and solitude doesn't mean that one doesn't or shouldn't have family and friends, or one doesn't or shouldn't receive any help from anyone if there's a need for help, but there's no attachment towards the presence and absence of family and friends or help from anyone, to feel good and meaningful, or not, towards oneself and life existence.

One of the obstacles on the journey towards the elimination of ignorance and egoism to know Thyself, or "Who/What am (I)", or the mind perception of an impermanent selfless worldly life existence, to be transcending imperfection and the suffering of the restlessness of selfless impermanent changes (ceaseless births and deaths that are selfless and impermanent), is the subtle attachment towards the perceived 'existence' of 'I' and 'others that are not I', the worldly condition, the superior qualities of names and forms, goodness, kindness, meaningfulness, happiness, the sense of belonging, the sense of 'origin/identity/ancestry/birth place/nationality/race/gender/sexual orientation/family ties/connection', the sense of worthiness, and etc, that based on worldly egoistic thinking and belief, values and practice. The most effective way to free the mind from such 'stubborn' egoistic attachment, is the observation of dispassion, renunciation and solitude. But then, one of the obstacles towards the practice of dispassion, renunciation and solitude, is the sense of appropriateness and inappropriateness, and the sense of duty and responsibility, under the influence of the worldly egoistic thinking and belief, values and practice.

Out of 'loving kindness' and 'duty and responsibility' towards 'the world' and everything that is related to 'the world', the mind is constantly being distracted and occupied by worldly affairs and the engagement in aspirations/activities of 'trying to make the world a better place' or 'trying to reduce and eliminate badness or to promote and reserve goodness'. It doesn't mean that the actions of 'trying to make the world a better place' or 'trying to reduce and eliminate badness or to promote and reserve goodness' is useless or wrong. Just that, minds that are under the influence of passion and attachment towards achieving 'a better world', are like those whom themselves are restlessly floating on the rough ocean that they love and care for very much, while trying to 'save' the others who are struggling in the ocean to stay afloat as well, while trying to 'calm down' or 'conquer' the rough ocean to be something different from what it is.

While the minds that are free from passion and attachment, are like those who are already got out from the rough ocean resting upon a solid ground, being free from the restless struggling to stay afloat on a rough ocean, while having the related tools that allow them to 'guide' as many others who are still restlessly struggling to float on the rough ocean to also get out from the rough ocean finding a solid ground to rest upon, if they want, without trying to 'calm down' or 'conquer' the rough ocean being what it is, as it is.

However, most minds are reluctant to get out from the ocean of restlessness due to passionate attachment towards the ocean, while trying to make the ocean to be the way that they would like it to be.

Freeing the thinking faculty from any kinds of conditional way of thinking and belief. Quieting the modification of the mind and inquire towards the 'selflessness' and 'impermanence' of this thinking faculty, as well as in all kinds of impermanent names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses. Seeing names and forms as they are. All (subject and object) are selfless and impermanent. All is one same selfless impermanent changes of name and form regardless of the different qualities they appear to be. This is the practice. All the other practices are merely preparing the mind for this practice.

The mind perception of a worldly life existence or the world of selfless impermanent names and forms is just what it is. It's neither meaningful nor meaningless. If this mind is still being determined by the sense of meaninglessness and still looking for the sense of meaningfulness in certain names and forms or through certain actions/reactions of oneself and others, or if this mind still perceives, thinks and believes that 'This is meaningful' or 'That is meaningless', then keep practicing, until this mind sees beyond 'meaningfulness' and 'meaninglessness'.