Inquire towards ignorance and justification and the belief of karma

There is no doubt that there are many evitable painful suffering and desperation or difficulty that are truly unnecessary, but are happening everywhere in the world deriving from the ignorance and consequences of ignorance in the minds of the human beings that are functioning under the veil of ignorance, on top of there are certain inevitable painful suffering in all and everyone (regardless of good or bad behavior, wise or ignorant, kind or unkind, happy or unhappy, healthy or unhealthy, and etc) that come along with the momentary existence and function of the mortal physical body and mind that is selfless, impermanent, limited, conditional, and non-self.

Unless the physical body is being formed and born under the absence of the conscious thinking and acting faculty functioning under the presence of conscious awareness upon the state of consciousness to be perceiving/recognizing/discriminating/experiencing pleasurable enjoyment and painful suffering consciously, if not, the minds that come with the conscious thinking and acting faculty functioning under the presence of conscious awareness and intellectual cognition of perceiving/recognizing/discriminating/acknowledging or being aware of pleasurable enjoyment as well as the evitable and inevitable painful suffering and difficulty, they can develop correct understanding towards what is going on in the mind, to know Thyself, to transcend or overcome all those evitable and inevitable painful suffering and difficulty in oneself and/or in the others, if they want, and out of their own conscious awareness, conscious freewill, conscious initiation, and conscious effort or action taking under the presence of intense yearning towards liberation/knowledge/freedom/peace, to be free from suffering, under the presence of immovable determination and perseverance and some basic correct understanding or intellectual reasoning power.

There is nothing wrong and it is true that, regardless of whether the minds that are having a rather easy and comfortable life without much difficulty or suffering to deal with, or the minds that are dealing with certain painful suffering and difficulty in life, will think and believe and feel that they are limited and powerless (vulnerability), where they are aware of the many painful suffering and difficulty in all the others or in themselves, but they can't change or interfere with many things that are not in their control and are beyond their capability, even if they have the goodwill and kindness of want to help the world or themselves to have less painful suffering and difficulty, as much as possible.

The minds that are having a rather easy and comfortable life without much difficulty or suffering to deal with, is nothing to do with 'karma', or 'good karma', or 'merits and virtues', or 'blessing from the so called almighty creator/controller/authority/judge of the universe'.

The minds that are dealing with certain painful suffering and difficulty in life, is nothing to do with 'karma', or 'bad karma', or 'sins', or 'punishment from the so called almighty creator/controller/authority/judge of the universe'.

The reality of the minds can't change or interfere with many things that are not in their control and are beyond their capability, as well as the presence of limitation, or powerlessness, or vulnerability, is nothing to do with 'karma', or 'bad karma', or 'sins', or 'punishment from the so called almighty creator/controller/authority/judge of the universe'.

Some minds understood and acknowledged that they are limited and powerless, even if they themselves are having a rather easy and comfortable life, but they are aware of there are many others are undergoing and dealing with certain painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in life, while they would do whatever they can to help to relieve and reduce the painful suffering and desperation in all the others as much as possible, even when they can just ignore all that, not doing anything, and be comfortable in their own easy and comfortable life, even if they can't change or interfere with many things that are not in their control and are beyond their capability, without the sense of guilt or pride and shame, and without the need of justification towards anything.

Some minds understood and acknowledged that they are limited and powerless, as they themselves are undergoing and dealing with certain painful suffering and difficulty, while they might or might not be doing whatever they can to relieve and reduce the painful suffering and difficulty in themselves, as well as simultaneously, they might or might not be also doing whatever they can to help to relieve and reduce the painful suffering and difficulty in all the others, even if they can't change or interfere with many things in themselves or in the others that are not in their control and are beyond their capability, without the sense of guilt or pride and shame, and without the need of justification towards anything.

That is the essential basic correct understanding or mentality.

There is nothing wrong or bad or negative with the perception/acknowledgement/understanding/realization of there is presence of limitation, powerlessness, or vulnerability in the minds, that there are many things that are not in the control of anyone and that are beyond their capability to change or interfere with.

Meanwhile, under the absence of correct understanding or mentality, some minds are troubled or over-whelmed by the sense of guilt or pride and shame, upon the presence of limitation, powerlessness, or vulnerability in themselves towards many things that are not in the control of themselves and that are beyond their capability to change or interfere with, where they need to have some reasonable justifications to justify the many painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in themselves that are not in their control, that they can't change, that they can't do much to help to relieve or reduce the painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in themselves, or in the others, while they themselves need to deal with their own painful suffering and difficulty, so that they can feel better about themselves for being limited, powerless, or vulnerable.

Some minds that are having the privilege to be enjoying a rather easy and comfortable life, devoid of the painful suffering and desperation or difficulty that many others are dealing with, however, they are being troubled or over-whelmed by the sense of guilt or pride and shame, and they don't like the sense of vulnerability, powerlessness, and limitation in themself, where they need to have some reasonable justifications to justify the many painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in the others that are not in their control, that they can't change, that they can't do much to help to relieve or reduce the painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in the others, and hence, they choose to just ignore all that and be comfortable in their own life, but then there is the sense of guilt or pride and shame as well as powerlessness and limitation in them, where they want to think and believe and acknowledge that they are good and righteous people, that they are not selfish, where they would donate some money here and there, or to do some charity work from time to time, or regularly, in order to empower the sense of kindness, generosity, powerfulness, and unselfishness, to over-come the sense of powerlessness, limitation, selfishness, and guilt.

While some highly empathetic minds will feel disturbed and depressed by the sense of vulnerability, powerlessness, and limitation towards all the painful suffering and desperation in the others that they can't change, that they can't help to relieve or reduce, even after they continuously give everything that they can give, that they have, to help others as much as they can, to the point of depriving and damaging their own over-all well-being, but there are still inevitable painful suffering as well as ceaseless and boundless evitable painful suffering and desperation or difficulty in many others that are deriving from the ignorance and consequences of ignorance either inflicted by themselves and/or by some others. They might also need to have some reasonable justifications to justify towards all kinds of painful suffering and desperation or difficulty, in order to feel better and less disturbed.

There is nothing wrong with all that, as all the minds have their own freedom of thinking, understanding, action/reaction, and expression.

It is all good, regardless of whether the minds are troubled or not troubled by the sense of powerlessness and limitation, or the sense of guilt or pride and shame, or the sense of selfishness and unselfishness, but at least the minds are trying to do something if they can, to help to relieve or reduce the painful suffering and desperation in the world or in themselves, even if there are many things that they can't change or interfere, that are beyond their capability.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

Meanwhile, there are many minds that are functioning under the influence of the veil of ignorance would be deliberately or randomly, wittingly or unwittingly, intentionally or intentionlessly, inflicting and promoting painful suffering and difficulty unto themselves and/or the others, directly or indirectly.

Some of these minds might be troubled by the sense of guilt and regret, while some are guiltless while taking pride in such 'accomplishment' of being 'successfully' inflicting and promoting painful suffering and difficulty unto the others and/or themselves, because it gives rise to and empowers the sense of powerfulness in them, that they can destroy something or anything that they want, as they wish, easily, instead of feeling vulnerable, powerless, and limited dealing with the undesirable reality of they can't change or interfere with many things in themselves or in the others that are not in their control and are beyond their capability, but the activity of hurting and destroying someone or everyone and something or anything that are destructible, is not difficult.

These minds might or might not need some justifications to justify their hurtful destructive behaviors that inflict and promote painful suffering and difficulty in the others and/or in themselves.

And hence, there come the idea, belief, values, and practice of 'karma', or more precisely, 'bad karma' or 'sins', or 'punishment from the so called almighty creator/controller/authority/judge of the universe', stands as the reasonable justification to justify what the minds think and believe that needed to be justified, that is nothing but complicates everything even more, while empowers the ignorance in oneself and in others that are still functioning under the influence of the veil of ignorance.

"It is all because of my/your/our/their/his/her own 'bad karma' or 'sins'."

Regardless of the presence of painful suffering and difficulty in oneself, or in the others, regardless of evitable or inevitable, regardless of the evitable painful suffering and difficulty are being inflicted and promoted deliberately or randomly, wittingly or unwittingly, intentionally or intentionlessly, unto themselves and/or the others, directly or indirectly.

"I am suffering, or you are suffering, regardless of whether it is inflicted by oneself or by others, are all because of 'bad karma' or 'sins'."

"It is good to burn-off the 'bad karma' or to repent the 'sins' by undergoing all kinds of painful suffering and difficulty in oneself or in others, regardless of being inflicted and promoted by oneself and/or others."

"I need to inflict painful suffering and difficulty unto myself to burn-off the 'bad karma', or to reduce the 'sins'."

"I am doing you a favor to help you to burn-off your 'bad karma', or to reduce your 'sins', by inflicting painful suffering and difficulty unto you."

Ignorance deriving from ignorance and empowers ignorance.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Inquire the truth of everything.

Regardless of evitable or inevitable painful suffering and difficulty, or all kinds of abusive family ties and connection, broken relationship, unhappiness, hardship, difficult condition, difficult situation, undesirable happening, limitation, disability, illness, injury, painful sensation, weakness, stiffness, ill treatment and prejudice or disagreement and dislike from others, and failure, it is not due to 'bad karma' or 'sins'.

Inevitable painful suffering and difficulty are merely the inevitable permanent unchanging all time truth of the selfless impermanent limited conditional and non-self momentary existence and function of the mortal physical body and the perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting mind being what they are, as they are, existing and functioning under the presence of conscious/semi-conscious awareness upon the state of consciousness and semi-consciousness, being conscious/aware of the physical body is undergoing inevitable selfless impermanent changes of decay and disintegration as well as the restless thought process or modification of the mind (restlessness), of ceaseless life maintenance, endless hunger and thirst, exhaustion, weakness, stiffness, illness, injury, discomfort, painful sensations, limitation, disability, aging, and death.

All THAT are not due to 'bad karma' or 'sins'.

Not to say, 

All kinds of additional evitable unnecessary painful suffering and difficulty that don't need to be there at all, that are being inflicted, generated, and promoted unto oneself and/or the others, out of ignorance, by the minds that are functioning under the influence of the veil of ignorance, either deliberately or randomly, wittingly or unwittingly, intentionally or intentionlessly, and directly or indirectly.

That is not due to 'bad karma' or 'sins'. 

The minds that inquire and realize this, will know towards the truth of 'the idea, belief, values, and practice of karma' that is being created and used as a reasonable justification for many things or behaviors that are hurtful and destructive, that inflict and promote evitable painful suffering and difficulty in oneself and unto the others, as well as justifying the inevitable painful suffering in the mortal physical body existing and functioning under different bodily systems, operating under the mechanism/function/modification of the conscious perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting mind, on top of the survival instinct that ceaselessly maintaining life existence in the background autonomously/non-consciously throughout the different states of consciousness, just for being existing and functioning selflessly, impermanently, limitedly, conditionally, and non-selfly, for a momentary fleeting short duration in this world of diverse names and forms that doesn't belong to anyone or anything.

Some minds also use 'the idea, belief, values, and practice of karma and ceaseless reincarnation of endless births and deaths of endless momentary life existences transitioning in different realms/worlds/spheres' as a tool to manipulate, or threaten, or intimidate, or bully, or oppress, or exploit, or abuse others to be or not to be in certain way, in order to gratify all one's desires, as well as using that as the excuse/justification to hurt and punish the others, upon one's desires are not being gratified.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Under the presence of grasping under the influence of the veil of ignorance, the minds are being over-powered by the mind perception/awareness/acknowledgement towards all kinds of evitable and inevitable painful suffering and difficulty.

Under the absence of grasping under the absence of the veil of ignorance, the minds transcend or over-come and not being disturbed by the mind perception/awareness/acknowledgement towards all kinds of evitable and inevitable painful suffering and difficulty.

It doesn't mean that all kinds of evitable and inevitable suffering disappear or stop existing in the world, or in life, or in oneself and/or others upon the direct realization towards the truth of all these, but suffering doesn't and cannot arise or manifest in the mind that is devoid of grasping and the veil of ignorance, while resting in unconditional peace amidst all kinds of unpleasant and even painful evitable and inevitable impermanent changes in the physical body and modification of the mind, and upon coming in contact with evitable and inevitable undesirable and unpleasant events, happenings, affairs, conditions, situations, ties and connections, relationships, interactions, and activities in the surrounding environment.

And more importantly, such mind doesn't hurt oneself and others and the surrounding environment under the presence of clarity, or wisdom and unconditional peace. 

There is nothing super extraordinary, mystical, spiritual, or magical, about the mind, or the modification of the mind, or the mind thinking behavior pattern, or the conquest of the mind, or the ONE all pervading infinite selfless universal consciousness, or yoga and the self-realized yogi, or buddhism and the enlightened buddha, or the presence and absence of pleasurable enjoyment and painful suffering, as well as the veil of ignorance and the by-products of ignorance in the perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting mind, of all kinds of duality, selfishness, possessiveness, sense of belonging, self-righteousness, offensiveness, defensiveness, cruelty, violence, unrest, hurtful and destructive behaviors, actions, and reactions, all kinds of comforting story telling and justifications, and the direct self realization towards the truth of all these names and forms, of knowing Thyself, or knowing the truth of Selflessness, Impermanence, Limitation, Conditional, and Non-self in all and everything, that enables the mind to transcend the selfless impermanent limited conditional restless modification of itself that doesn't even belong to the conscious mind/perceiver/knower/experiencer/thinker/action performer itself, and transcending the mind perception/awareness/acknowledgement towards all kinds of dualities, or towards all kinds of names and forms manifesting, coming, and going under different qualities, and that ceaselessly changing in between arising and passing away, where the mind doesn't hurt itself and others and the surrounding environment, and is resting upon unconditional peace, being undetermined and undisturbed by the ignorance and consequences of ignorance of all the others, or all kinds of madness in the world of ignorance and egoism.

Limitation, powerlessness, and vulnerability is the universal truth of all and everything. It is neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative, neither meaningful nor meaningless.

Inquire the truth of everything. 

Hardship and difficulty

Some people have to go through many hardship and difficulty in life, while some people don't need to go through any hardship or difficulty at all.

It doesn't mean that those who have been and/or are undergoing some kind of hardship and difficulty in life are any less good, or less smart, or less deserving than those who don't need to go through any hardship and difficulty, and vice versa.

It's definitely nothing to do with what the worldly minded think and believe as the presence and absence of past accumulated and present generated good and/or bad karma.

Many wise and compassionate selfless beings had/have to go through many different kinds of hardship and difficulty, during their limited selfless impermanent worldly life existence, before and even after they attained self-realization or enlightenment.

Upon undergoing prolonged ongoing hardship and difficulty, some people might become more ignorant, corrupt, selfish, bitter, hard, and cruel, while some people might become more wise, understanding, open, cheerful, gentle, and kind.

Similarly, upon the presence of easiness and enjoyment in life, some people might become more proud and arrogant, clinging onto easy and enjoyable conditions and experiences, while some people might realize the fleeting impermanence in all kinds of names and forms, regardless of easy or difficult conditions, and pleasant or unpleasant experiences, and develop a firm foundation in non-attachment and letting go.

Hardship and difficulty are neither good nor bad. It's up to this mind.

One might become less and less ignorant, selfish, hard, bitter, and hurtful, or, one might become more and more ignorant, selfish, hard, bitter, and hurtful.

What does this mind choose to become?

Be free.

Let's see what is possible, and let it be

Being in the present, is yoga.

The obstacles, or the difficult and challenging life experiences, that train and allow the mind to be in the present, is the yoga practice.

Being in the present, allows the mind to be free from unnecessary anticipation, projection, fear and worry upon coming in contact with obstacle, challenge, uncertainty, or the unknown, which is something very common in everyday life, particularly in this era where ignorance and egoism is predominant in everywhere.

That allows the mind to be free from unnecessary hesitation to take the chance to explore what is possible, in somewhere else other than this, as well as let it be, after doing one's best exploring some other alternatives or possibilities that are available or possible, upon coming in contact with something that is not possible right here, in this moment.

Things worked out in many ways that the mind never think of, without expectation, without trying to control everything to be the way that the mind thinks and desires how it should be.

Accepting or respecting the reality as it is, doesn't mean that one gives in to any obstacle, difficulty, or challenge, and stop trying or striving to reach one's destination or goal, but one can do one's best to seek some other alternatives or possibilities that are unknown to oneself, while being unaffected, undisturbed or undetermined by the existing obstacle, difficulty or challenge.

My life stories - Part 16 (Finding a living space)

My life Stories – Part 16 (Finding a living space)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

(Updated in end of April)

From the beginning, we knew that it will be challenging for moving to another country starting a new life. We just do our best to do whatever we need to do, and let things fall into places as they are, at their own pace. While waiting for things to happen as they are after we did our best, there are certain difficulties that people need to go through due to the imperfect system created by human beings that are mostly unnecessary.

The longer we are here, the more glad and grateful we are for being here at the moment, despite of the inevitable difficulties. We love the region, the calmness, the people, the food, the architectures, the historical aspects, the well-developed infrastructure, the rubbish management, the nature, the seasonal climate, the democracy, the freedom of being and the freedom of expression.

I enjoy hearing people speaking in French even though I don't really know what people are talking about. Even though I don't mind that I am not interacting with anyone or if I am not being understood by others, I am still learning a little bit of French here and there, without forcing myself that I have to be able to speak fluent French within how many days/months/years. I have no difficulty for being at somewhere that I don't speak their language. Being kind and understanding towards others' imperfection, and respecting all the differences among the diversities, without interference towards others for being who and what they are, as well as having awareness and self-control not to cause unnecessary damages and inconveniences to others, is nothing to do with being able to be understanding and interacting with others in a specific language, or not. People who speak the same language might not necessary be kind and understanding towards each other.

Since we arrived in France, we have been 'living' in the hotel. No doubt that it's a very good and comfortable spacious room, a lot bigger than many apartments in France, but it's not an ideal permanent space for living. Even before we left Malaysia, my husband's manager already told him that it's very difficult to get an apartment for long term rental in France for those who are actually living and working here, especially in this area where property prices and rents are a lot more expensive than some other regions in France due to the high demand and low supply mainly because of the tourism industry as well as many French people who work near the border in Switzerland prefer to live in France as cost of living in Switzerland is a lot more expensive than in France, but then this also causes the rental apartments near the border in France went up higher as these people can afford higher rents than those who are actually living and working in France. Already there were few people telling us that we should work in Switzerland, as people who speak multiple languages are in high demand in Switzerland, and the pay is almost triple than in France doing the same work. Many apartments here are either catering for those who work in Switzerland or being converted into higher profit holiday rentals to yield higher profit. It's a place for people owning one or a few private holiday homes that sit empty most of the time.

It's quite a challenge for us to find a long term place to rent here based on what we can afford and the eligibility. It's not that difficult if people have a higher capacity and budget where they can rent any apartment that they like. It's also not so much of a problem if people have lower income, provided if they have been living in France for more than two years, because by then they are eligible to be getting special social housing rentals under the government's policy that looks after the welfare of the people more than some other countries' corrupted government that are not about looking after the people at all. My husband has some ongoing dental problems and had to pay a visit to the dentist some time ago, and this is covered by the social security health insurance. While living in Malaysia we had spent thousands of ringgit for several dental visits.

It's just rather difficult for people who have just arrived in France, starting a new job and have a rather low salary, to be looking for a living place to rent, as getting a long term rental in France is restricted by some obligated conditions, such as the need of showing past three months payslip in France, as well as one can only be eligible to rent a place where the rental is not more than one third of the salary. And hence, people can only be staying in a hotel or renting an AIRBNB for the first few months, which of cause is a lot more expensive than what people would like it to be.

We are grateful and thankful that the hotel management is being very thoughtful for addressing this 'difficulty' that all of their new employees who come from everywhere in the world have to go through, where they arrange free accommodation in the hotel for up to three months, allowing the new employees to take the required time to find their own space of living so that they don't need to worry too much on that issue while diverting their energy and attention onto their new job at a new environment.

Although long term rentals in France is still considered cheaper than in many other European countries, but due to the high demand and low supply, especially in certain areas that economically relying on tourism a lot, where many apartments are being operated as AIRBNB for higher profit, and the basic salary is struggling to catch up with the higher cost of living, quite many people who have lower income are having great difficulty finding a 'decent' long term rental at an affordable rate. Even so, it's still affordable for us to live in France than in Ireland, as we won't be able to afford to live in Ireland at all, even if my husband has a job there. The rental is at least doubled for the similar type of property and everything cost more expensive in Ireland, where the basic salary is not inline with the cost of living. Things will be more costly everywhere in the world now due to the ridiculous 'wars' on top of the long term side-effects of the prolonged pandemic.

The available long term rentals with cheaper rent are those that are not very well maintained apartments in some old buildings that consume higher rate of electricity usage and gas emission, which people try to avoid nowadays.

Even if some people might have some additional savings that allow them to rent a bigger and better place with higher rental, but it's not possible because they are being restricted by the income status on the monthly payslips, even when they propose to pay a full year rent in advance. On another side, they are also not eligible for getting certain rentals that are being reserved for social housing since they are living and working in France for less than two years.

It means that people are 'stuck' in such situation during the first two years living and working in France, as they couldn't find a 'reasonable' place to rent because of the low monthly income status and they are not qualified for applying social housing yet, or they can only be able to rent one of the unmaintained old apartments that required higher expenses on consuming electricity and gas, which is not economical and environmental friendly. Even when we went to the social welfare department in town asking for help in finding affordable rental apartment, they also said to us that they knew about this 'difficulty' that many French people and foreigners are facing, but that's the way it is, and there's nothing that they can do to help. They said that the earliest time that people can rent a social housing apartment is two years after initial application.

We have been trying to look for an apartment where we would prefer it's just a short walking distance from the hotel so that my husband doesn't need to waste too much time and energy on commuting between home and work place. If the apartment is not within feasible walking distance, we would need to spend more money on getting a car as well as bearing the additional expenses of having a car, which we try to avoid. Public transportation is available here conveniently, but the fixed schedule isn't suitable for my husband as he is working in the night shift. We also try to find an apartment that has a separate bedroom, so that my husband can have a good rest after work. However, I try to coordinate with my husband's sleeping hours, so that I won't create too much disturbance for him while we are 'living' in a hotel room at the moment, or if we will be living in a studio apartment without separate bedroom.

In the beginning, we have tried to request to view some of the available apartments that are within our budget, but, many of the agents didn't even bother to get back to us after we sent them the details of our situation as new arrivals in France, as we wouldn't be eligible to rent anything here, even if we have the money because we don't have the past three months payslip in France yet.

And then, one of the agents didn't mind about the availability of the past three months payslip condition, and showed us one of the apartment, which 'sorts of' fit into our budget and certain requirement, however, it's in an old apartment building that is not very well maintained, as well as it doesn't have very good natural light or privacy as all the residents within this building will be passing by the apartment's window as they are coming back and going out, and more importantly, it feels 'depressing' when we were inside the apartment even though the interior renovation and equipment is rather 'new' and 'tidy'. Another thing to be considered is that whether the immediate neighbours are open minded and thoughtful for others who are sharing the same apartment building, or not. From looking at the common area of the building, we could see that it might not be the suitable place to live a simple quiet life.

After that, we found another apartment where the direct owner allowed us to view the apartment, and it was slightly cheaper than the previous one, but again, it feels 'depressing' while being in that space that also doesn't have enough natural light, where we would need to turn on the lights even during the sunny day, as it is shielded from the sunlight due to the proximate surrounding apartment buildings. The owner also mentioned that she is 'worried' that we might not be able to pay the rent, as it is more than one third of my husband's salary, even when we told her that we live a low cost simple way of life. There's another thing to be considered is about the safety features. Many of these walk-up multi level old apartments can only be accessible via a narrow wooden staircase. It will be difficult if there's a fire starting from the lower apartment. There's no way out. And because it is located on a touristy pedestrian street as well as there are restaurants and shops under and around the apartment, it means that there will be people on the street talking and smoking especially during the day time when my husband needs to sleep after work. If so, we can't really open the windows to have fresh air into the apartment.

We also visited four other apartments dealing with direct owners. One of them is a fully furnished one room worn-out apartment on the top floor of a 4 storey walk-up old apartment building that isn't being maintained at all. The apartment's wooden flooring is moving and making lots of noise whenever there's a movement. The rent is on the higher end too. While another one is an unfurnished and unequipped but recently renovated with some modern features one plus one room apartment on the third floor. However, it has a low ceiling and doesn't have good air ventilation. The rent is not cheap too. The other two apartments are also in a depressing state that in need of immediate attention and refreshment. Obviously they all are unsuitable for us. We don't mind paying higher rent if it's a good quality apartment in good health, but these apartments don't worth the high rent.

And then there are other nicer and newer apartments further away from the busy town area that we are interested to check them out, and the rents are within our budget, but my husband's salary isn't eligible for renting any of them, unless we have a guarantor. There are some social housing apartments available for rent but then we needed to wait after two full years of living and paying tax in France to be qualified for it.

After many considerations and discussions between my husband and I, we decided to just try to get whatever is available to us, such as getting a basic unfurnished/unequipped apartment, either with or without separate bedroom, but at least well-maintained and cheerful enough, that is healthy to live in, even if we have to spend more money on buying our own furniture/equipment and buying a car.

Luckily after nearly 2 months of apartment hunting, we finally found a place that we can actually live in. Although it's only a tiny studio apartment that doesn't have a separate bedroom which is one important criteria for my husband, but, it's almost fully furnished and well-equipped with daily life essentials. It's a space full of 'history and character' and it meets most of our requirements for a living space, even if it's just for the first year. We don't need a 'big' space as we don't have many things. While I just need a clean, bright, well-ventilated and quiet space that is big enough for me to do some yoga exercises. Although just by being there for a few minutes might be very different experience from when we are actually living in it.

This tiny apartment is inside a well-maintained historical building. Even though it's only about 20 square meters, about one third of the size of the hotel junior suite room, but it's not depressing or congested at all, as it has a high ceiling and was well renovated under a very thoughtful and practical design with good quality of materials, where we can actually live there comfortably. The two windows are south facing without any blockage from the opposite apartment buildings that are located distance enough, which means that we will be getting the sun light coming into the apartment for a couple of hours all year long. It's bright enough even during cloudy days, as it was a cloudy day when we visited the apartment. It has a very thick wall, which means that it will not be too hot in the summer. The best thing is that, the two windows are over-looking at the very secluded private courtyard with a very peaceful garden, which we are able to access anytime even though we don't have a balcony. Although the windows are outdated and needed to be replaced with better insulated windows, and they said that it will be replaced a few months later after we moved in and before the next winter. Surely, it will cause some inconvenience for us during the installation, but it has to be done for long term economical and environmental reason. Another great thing is that the apartment is also less than 350 meters away, about 5 minutes walk, from the hotel.

The only downside is that it has no separate bedroom, but it's okay, as it has everything else that we are looking for to live a simple quiet life. The toilet, the shower, the wash basin and drainage, the cooker top and hob, the work surface, the fridge, the washing machine, the bed frame, the storage system, the lighting, the outside hallway and entrance, the public space, and the little details of a practical living space, are all good enough. The overall soundproof is good enough as we didn't hear any noise while being in the apartment even when there's renovation going on in some other apartments within the building at that time. However, the walls between the different apartments on the same level are not completely soundproof, but it's still good enough though. There's enough space for me to do some yoga practice. It's also within our budget and my husband's salary is eligible for it. The agent was also welcoming, and apparently, he had been travelling to Langkawi and Penang right before the pandemic.

Even though the apartment building is located beside a busy main road and surrounded by side streets, but this particular apartment is facing the inner courtyard away from the noise of the busy road and streets. We can open the windows for fresh air at anytime. However, what we didn't know at that time was that during the warmer months, there are lots of activities and noises coming from people hanging out and chitchatting in front of the supermarket next to the apartment building. Unlike the other bigger apartments that we have visited before, where we have doubt of 'maybe yes and maybe no', we both spontaneously like and agree with this one, even after a few days to think about it. We immediately said 'Yes' to the agent after seeing it.

Finally, we moved into this apartment on the second week of April after getting the first phase of the legal procedure and paper works done. In France, just like in many other countries, there are many complicated procedures that everyone need to go through for living here. Being a tourist is a lot easier than being a resident in any countries nowadays. It doesn't have to be like that, but unfortunately, it is the reality for existing in this tiny space of the vast universe due to the human minds are functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism that generate many unnecessary complications, instead of simplifying everything.

It will take some time for us to be settling in as we still need to get certain essential things like bedding, cooking, dining and cleaning utensils, as well as some other 'equipment' for organizing certain things for more efficiency and convenience to be living in our new little 'temporary' home. Anywhere that we live, either in a self-owned property or in a rented space, is just a temporary living space, just as everything that are existing in this space of the universe is temporary.

We are glad to have found this place in the end, or the place has been waiting for us to come.

After a few weeks of living in this tiny apartment, we feel more and more comfortable living in this space after making some adjustment and accommodation among the two of us for living in a 20 square meter space after having living in much bigger space in the past. It's not just that the inside space of the apartment is comfortable enough, especially it's just for temporary stay while we take our time to look for another apartment that is more suitable for longer stay, but the entire experience of coming home stepping into a well-maintained building with a long time history, is something that we have never experience before, and the common area of the apartment building is actually more spacious and comfortable than the apartment itself.

Thank you.

READ ON

Financial difficulty, desperation and exploitation

There are many different kinds of exploitation that exist in the world.

Particularly during this prolonged pandemic situation in the world that has taken away many people's livelihood.

Many people's life and livelihood are being impacted greatly by the prolonged lockdown in certain countries where the pandemic situation wasn't being handled efficiently.

There are also certain countries run by their government that have been handling the pandemic situation more efficiently that the other countries, where people's everyday life and livelihood aren't being affected too much by the pandemic like the many other people in some other countries.

Some people would have the common sense to be considerate towards other people's financial difficulty and suffering due to the prolonged lockdown in some other countries, even though they themselves might not be affected very much by the pandemic in their own countries.

Meanwhile there are also some people, who are not just don't have the conscience to be considerate towards other people's difficulty, but whether wittingly or unwittingly, in certain dealings, people are taking advantage out of other people's difficult condition to be exploiting other people especially those who are under desperation for survival, not to say, to be making a decent livelihood, under the impact of the prolonged pandemic lockdown in their countries.

This kind of exploitation are existing due to those who are in desperation, they have no other choices but would rather be exploited than to let themselves and/or their family to go hungry or to endure further difficulty.

Similarly, in order to stop encouraging or empowering this kind of exploitation, we ourselves don't take advantage of other people's desperation under difficult condition to be exploiting other people in anyway, regardless of whether out of desperation or out of greed and stinginess, but also, we ourselves don't allow ourselves to be exploited by those who would take advantage of other people's suffering to exploit other people, out of their greed and stinginess, no matter how much difficulty that we need to endure, for not giving in to exploitation by others, and not allowing exploitation to be happening to ourselves done by others and/or to others done by ourselves.

Unfortunately, even among the yoga community, who are supposed to be practicing reflective understanding towards other people's difficulty and suffering, but then either wittingly or unwittingly, out of worldly egoistic habitual behavior pattern, some yoga enthusiasts might be engaging in exploiting other people in certain situations, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Surrendering to the law of nature

When there are many difficulties or obstacles arise in life that seem to be unsolvable in the present moment, we can choose to surrender to the law of nature, allowing the law of nature to lead us to wherever we are and whatever we will be, rather than being frustrated and injured by fighting against the difficulties that won't make all the difficulties disappear from life.

Surrendering the desire to fight is not the same as giving up the will to move on.

Surrendering the ego by letting go egoistic desire, attachment and expectation.

Surrendering is respecting the law of nature after doing one's best to live a life that one would like it to be, allowing the fruit of actions being what it is.

Surrendering the desire to fight against difficulties (deriving from ignorance in the world), but without giving up the will to move on, while manoeuvring around the difficulties.

It's like a leaf floating on the river, and allowing the current to manoeuvre the leaf around all kinds of obstacles, and heads towards any branches of the river led by the current, without breaking apart while trying to fight against the current insisting on heading towards one particular branch of the river.

There's nothing wrong with giving up, losing the will or ability to move on. It's like the leaf reluctantly got stuck with one of the obstacles and stop flowing.

Either the leaf keeps flowing or stops flowing, it's all impermanent.

Life can be less complicated, but it isn't so in the world of civilization

For those who are wealthy enough, there's no problem for them to live or migrate to anywhere on earth, as they are most welcomed by the authority of most countries in the world. Unfortunately for the majority of the human beings who are not that wealthy, who have no choice but need to be making a living (working) to survive in life, would be discriminated and non-welcomed by the authority of many countries in the world.

Many honest, talented, skillful and hardworking people in the world might not be highly educated or certified, due to poverty or some other unfortunate circumstances, where they are facing difficulty of making a living in their own birth country, not to say, to be 'eligible' or 'qualified' to migrate somewhere else, but that doesn't mean that they are less good human beings, or should be disqualified to be residing and making a living on earth. Unfortunately, they are the ones who are being discriminated 'lawfully' due to their 'low financial status' and 'non-certification' or 'low educational level' due to life condition is already being difficult for them.

In the modern world of civilization, if the government policy of a country run by wise and kind people that is trying to help all human beings to have an easier and better quality of life, that's great. Unfortunately, that's not the case in some countries, where the government policy of the country run by not so wise and not so kind people that is actually trying their best to make human beings' life as complicated as possible.

Government body is supposed to be an organization that serves the community by facilitating everything to make life easier for everyone, however, discriminative government policy in certain countries are deliberately generating lots of complication to make people's life more difficult, where many law obeying people who have no intention to do anything that go against the law, and only want to live and making a living 'legally' in a particular country, have to go through many unnecessary difficulties deriving from the complicated documentation procedures of a government policy that legally discriminating and tormenting human beings by their 'nationality', 'financial status', 'social status', 'health status', 'title', 'educational level', 'certification', 'qualification', and etc, or even by 'ethnicity' and 'religion' in certain countries.

The pandemic is affecting many people's life and livelihood, but life has to go on for everyone, where people still need to go through complicated legal documentation procedure to live somewhere and making a living legally in a modern world of civilization.

For some people who have no choice but have to deal with renewing legal documentation every year for residing and making a living in a particular country, especially in a country running by a government that doesn't really intend to help making people's life easier, but deliberately creating lots of complicated procedures with many difficult rules and regulations to make people's life as difficult as possible, the circumstances deriving from the current pandemic situation is making everything even harder for them.

Those who don't need to deal with yearly renewal of legal documentation to be residing and making a living in a particular place on earth, they might not be able to understand the difficulty that some other people have to deal with for just trying to survive and live a life on earth, who are reluctantly don't want to be 'criminalized/penalized/imprisoned' just by existing in a space in the universe that doesn't really belong to anyone, but was being claimed ownership and authorization by some human beings to lawfully 'allow' and 'disallow' human beings for being existing, residing and making a living somewhere on earth.

People might think that being a citizen of one's birth country wouldn't need to go through all those hassles of complicated legal documentation procedures, but in some countries, being married to someone who is a citizen of another country, one will have to go through a painful process every year due to the government policy that doesn't welcome or support 'International mixed marriage' and deliberately making people's life extremely difficult, especially when the government policy is generating 'discrimination' towards many different things in order to determine who is 'eligible' or 'qualified' enough, and who is 'non-eligible' and 'unqualified' for being existing, residing and making a living in that country.

In order to apply for a 'permission to reside in this country' for the non-citizen spouse of the citizen of this country that only valid for one year, the citizen of this country needs to have proof of sufficient income to 'sponsor' the spouse, as the spouse is not allowed to work at all in this country (even if it's not something illegal or wrongful,) even though the spouse is being given the 'permission to reside in this country' that need to be re-applying from scratch every year with all kinds of supportive documentations. And if for any reasons, one didn't get to re-apply for the 'permission to reside in this country' on time before the due date, one will be penalized for over stay without permission, as well as facing the risk of 'imprisonment' or 'deportation'.

In order to apply for an additional 'permission to work' under the 'permission to reside in this country', there are even more supportive documents that are compulsory for the application procedure. And even if the 'permission to work' is being granted by the authority after submitting all kinds of compulsory supportive documents, the spouse is limited only to do that specific work with specific details of the work, at the specific space of a specific address of a specific company, or else, it's violating the law and will be criminalized and penalized under the law.

Free-lancing and self-employment that getting works from different companies/people, are invalid to be eligible for applying the 'permission to work', where it has to be one specific kind of work under employment with a contract under one specific registered company of a specific address with commercial title, where registered company under a home address with residential title for those who only need to be working from home or anywhere while travelling, who don't need to be working at a specific address/building/office, such as a digital nomad, is not possible for getting the 'permission to work', as the authority won't even process the application for 'permission to work'.

This is because the application procedure requires either a 'business license' or a letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work' from another government department, and 'business license' or the letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work' will not be issued to a residential address, even if the type of work doesn't require a 'business license' to be operating. Those who have an office space within a building under commercial title can attain the letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work', but it cannot be issued for an address under residential title for those who don't need a commercial office. It means, one has to spend unnecessary expenses on renting an office space that one doesn't use in order to attain the letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work', in order to apply for the 'permission to work', just because the authority of the country is run by a group of close-minded human beings. When someone wants to apply for the 'permission to work' under the 'yearly permission to reside in this country that doesn't allow to work' as a non-citizen spouse of the citizen of this country, the officer asks, "Why? You want to work ah?" and then, "We know your work doesn't need a business license, but we won't process your application because we need either a 'business license' or the letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work', and we know you can't and won't get the letter of 'needless of a business license for the type of work' because your address is not under commercial title."

The more ridiculous thing is that even though they know from the very beginning that it's not possible for anyone to attain a letter of 'needless of business license for the type of work' under a residential address, they didn't inform the people but deliberately telling the people to go to that particular licensing department to request for that letter, wasting the people's time, energy, effort and money. It's also wasting unnecessary time and effort of those involved in the respective department. "We know you are working from home right? We know your work also doesn't require a business license. You need to go to the licensing department and ask for a letter of needless of a business license for the type of work." And when the people came back to this department telling them that they couldn't attain that letter because it's not possible for a residential address, they said to the people, "We know." Why? Do they feel good for creating difficulty to the people? Government is supposed to be an organization that looks after the welfare of the people and facilitates convenient and efficient services and supports to the people to help to improve the quality of life of the people, but a government run by corrupted human beings is tormenting people by deliberately creating inconvenient complications to the people.

It's like, "We don't care about you. The government doesn't welcome you. But we, the government don't want to say that, directly. We just need to create lots of difficulties to you, and it's up to you whether you want to stay because you love this country so much, and pay us the fees for all kinds of documentation procedure, or go somewhere else if you think this is too difficult for you."

Regardless of whether one is reluctantly and autonomously being illegal for trying to earn some income for living without any 'permission to work', and one is being vulnerable towards facing prosecution and being exploited/bullied by unkind human beings, or one is being legalized with the 'permission to work' but then one is being restricted to one particular type of work under a specific company at that specific address, where engaging in other types of (lawful) work other than the one being applied for the 'permission to work' or any other form of lawful part-time income/paid-work activity beyond the one being stated in the 'permission to work' is considered 'illegal' and subject to 'prosecution', one is still living under the legal threat of being prosecuted, criminalized and penalized or be imprisoned/expelled at any time.

For some people, one type of work might not generate enough income for living and have no choice but need to be engaging in several types of work to be making enough livelihood. Or, there are people with multi talents and enthusiasm who can do so many different things in life, but would only be legalized and allowed to do 'one specific work under a specific company' to make a living in this country. Many financial problems, relationship problems, family problems, and mental health problems are building up unwittingly due to such government policy of deliberately restricting, oppressing, threatening and tormenting people under the name of 'facilitating the law and order of the country'.

The citizen of this country couldn't make sufficient or any income due to the pandemic and lockdown, but the non-citizen spouse can bring in some income by doing some works to be supporting their living, which also can provide 'the eligible financial status of sponsorship' as part of the 'compulsory supportive documentation' for applying the 'permission to reside in this country', but then the non-citizen spouse is not allowed to work under that ridiculous rules and regulations of 'non-permission to work' that comes under the 'permission to reside in this country' being the spouse to the citizen of this country.

The citizen of this country would have 'sufficient income status' to 'sponsor' the spouse to get the 'permission to reside in this country', if the spouse is allowed to work legally in this country, but the spouse wouldn't even be eligible to apply for the 'permission to reside in this country' because the citizen of this country couldn't provide 'the eligible financial status' that is required to be 'qualified' for 'sponsoring' the spouse due to the pandemic and lockdown, or due to some other reasons (illness, injury, or old age), and the spouse is not allowed to work or generate income.

Even after the spouse successfully getting the 'permission to reside in this country' that only valid for one year, but in order to apply for the 'permission to work', the spouse must be eligible/qualified by possessing a minimum level of educational certification and some other supportive work qualifications, which creates great difficulty for those who are not highly educated or certified, even if the spouse is a law abiding, honest, kind and hardworking person with many years of experience in doing something or many things.

Discriminative government policy are forcing people who don't want to do anything bad and wrong or illegal to reluctantly become 'illegal/criminalized' due to 'non-approval status' from the authority and have no choice but being 'committed' in 'illegal activity' (working hard trying to earn some honest money for living but without authorized legal documentation), for just trying to survive, to be making a living, to be existing and living in this space.

How ridiculous is that, even when the 'rightful' citizen of the country has successfully obtained legal licensing to be doing a small business in the country, is being threatened legally to bear all cost to demolish the rented building for doing the business under the authorized licensing, and to pay whatever compensation to the landlord for demolishing the rented building as ordered by the authority according to the rules and regulations, upon the termination of the business (or cancellation of the building permit for the business license) regardless of whether the business is being terminated by the business owner who wants to stop doing business, or it's terminated by the authority that wants to stop renewing the building permit for the business license for any reasons.

Rightful citizen of a country, or not, it's so complicated to live a life under the name of civilization. Those who are wealthy and are enjoying the privilege of being wealthy, might not agree with this. That's their freedom.

Everyone have no choice but need to be legalized to live a life and do things legally in a so called civilized country, however, it can be so complicated and troublesome, and people have to be living under 'threat' legally even after being legalized.

It's not a crime for being simple and want to live a simple honest life.

It's not a crime for being poor under difficult condition.

It's not a crime for not being highly educated.

It's not a crime for being married to and sharing life with someone of other nationality.

But why punishing and tormenting the simple minded people who want to live a simple honest life, the poor people who are in difficult condition, the non educated or low educated people, and the international loving couples under the name of civilization? Is it because they are less or non contributing to the economy of the country (paying less tax than the others)? Or, is it because the authority reluctant to 'look after' those who need certain assistance from the authority?

If that's the reason, and if the 'money minded' authority really want more people to become eligible for contributing more to the economy, and less depending on getting any form of assistance from the authority, then the authority should make everything easier for these low income or low educated people to be able to 'work' or 'do business' to have higher income, to facilitate more convenience for everyone to have the opportunity to become independent in all aspects, and it's not by discriminating and punishing these simple minded, low income or low educated people who try to live a simple life and make enough honest income for living, legally.

If their reason for making international mixed marriage difficult is due to there are some cases of fake marriage for getting legalized documentation, and they want to punish those fake marriage couples, but why are they punishing everyone else who are not faking marriage?

If their reason for making international mixed marriage so difficult is due to they want to stop internal corruption activity coming from their respective department that deals with facilitating legal documentation for international mixed marriage, but then why are they tormenting everyone else who are merely loving couple that want to share life together, who are not and don't want to get involved with any corruption or illegal activity?

These are the unnecessary difficulties and tormentation created by human beings under the name of civilization deriving from ignorance that all humans who need to survive by making a living 'legally' need to deal with for just being existing in a space in the universe, especially in certain countries with an authority run by a group of close-minded human beings. It's even more difficult under the pandemic that would go on for years. Those who don't need to go through all kinds of 'complicated legal documentation procedure' under an authority run by close-minded human beings, or their authority is run by a group of open-minded human beings, they won't need to deal with such difficulty.