Be free from craving for love

Some feel hurt when they think there's no one love them. Some feel hurt when they think they love someone whom they don't really love. Some feel hurt when they are loved by someone who doesn't really love them. Some feel hurt when they aren't getting the love the way that they want. Some feel hurt when they are losing the love that they like. No matter what, people will feel hurt, whether they want to love someone, or they want to be loved by someone.

There's nothing wrong with 'love'. People say 'love' hurts and advise other people not to love, if they don't want hurt. This is incorrect understanding.

It's the desire of craving towards 'love' and the aversion towards 'love-lessness', and the expectation towards how 'love' and 'love relationship' should be like, is why people feel hurt, or lonely, dissatisfied, disappointed, unhappy, depressed, meaningless, miserable, or suffer, when they want to love or be loved by someone.

Realize what is 'love' and learn how to love, is yoga.

Be free from craving for love, whether it's love from family, love relationship, friendship, community, or any other forms of beings and objects of names and forms.

When the mind is free from craving for love, there is peace, it doesn't matter one is loving someone, or not, and whether one is loved by someone, or not.

Be free from ignorant expectation that leads to unnecessary disappointment

All disappointments derived from expectation. Just like any kinds of feelings and emotions, disappointment is also part of the selfless impermanent modification of the mind, and it's not 'I'. While some minds can get over disappointment easily and move on, or hope for better and be driven to strive harder, but there are many minds couldn't get over it, being hammered by huge/repeated/continuous disappointment, and might fall into a state of low self-esteem or depression, affecting one's physical and mental health as well as one's relationships with everyone in life.

Most people think and believe that all human beings need to have some sorts of expectation to motivate and push themselves in everything that they pursue to attain great achievements and to be continuously improving.

In yoga, expectation is merely part of the egoism derived from ignorance, and it is truly unnecessary. When the mind is free from egoism, there's no need to have expectation to motivate or push oneself to be good and be better, or to achieve something. One just do one's best to perform all actions and allow the result of the actions to be what it is, without being determined by the actions or the result of the actions to be 'I', to be happy, and to feel proud and meaningful, or not.

There's no disappointment when the result of the action is not as good as what we think it should be. There's no pride and arrogance when the result of the action is as good as, or even better than what we think it should be.

There's nothing wrong when people feel disturbed, or offended, or disappointed by other people didn't response to their 'friendliness' and 'kindness' the way that they think how it should be, or when other people are not interested to have any social interactions with them. But, this is truly unnecessary.

When we practice yoga, we allow everyone to be what they are, without expecting everyone should be 'good' and be 'warm' and 'nice' to all other beings, or to 'I'. We don't expect everyone should behave in the way that we think all human beings should behave, or they shouldn't behave in the way that we think they shouldn't behave. We respect everyone as they are, that different people are being different from us and everyone else. But, there are many 'good people' in the world have expectation towards how other people should and shouldn't behave, and be disappointed and disturbed when other people don't behave in the way that they think they should behave, and when they behave in the way that they think they shouldn't behave.

If we have expectation towards how other human beings should and shouldn't behave or interact with the rest of the society, we will be very disturbed and disappointed, when we think and believe that all human beings should be 'socially active' and be 'warm' or 'nice' to each other, especially to 'I', but there are people who are not 'socially active' and didn't have the intention of being 'warm' or 'nice' to other people, especially to 'I'. This disappointment is truly unnecessary, and it's derived from our own ignorant expectation. And we judge these people's way of life or behavior as 'bad and 'wrong', because we think everyone should somehow be active to be 'social interacting' with other human beings in a way that we think is 'good' and 'right'.

When the mind is free from ignorance, we will know that there is nothing bad and wrong in other people for being socially inactive, or didn't have initiative or interest to be 'warm' or 'nice' to other people, especially to 'I'. We won't be disturbed or disappointed by other people who keep to themselves and are not actively sociable, or they don't particularly do something that we think is 'warm' and 'nice' gestures.

When other people didn't have intention to disturbed or hurt us, didn't interfere with our thinking and believe, didn't criticize our way of life and behavior, and didn't intentionally do or say something that is 'not nice' to us, and allow us to be what we are, then even though they didn't do anything 'extra' that we think is 'warm' and 'nice' to other people, or to 'I', they are already being very 'good' and 'kind' and 'nice' to us.

We, whom we think we are 'good people' and better human beings than other people whom we disagree with their thinking and belief, their way of life and behavior, that we think is 'bad' and 'wrong', and we go around judging people and interfering with other people's thinking, belief, ways of life and behavior that we don't like and disagree with, we are actually the ones who are being 'not nice' to other people. And we get more disappointed when other people didn't show gratefulness and thankfulness and appreciation towards our 'warm' and 'nice' gestures to them, as we expect other people should be grateful and thankful and appreciate when we are being 'warm' and nice' to them. This is complete ignorant thinking, and it's truly unnecessary.

Meanwhile, there are people in the world who are 'socially active', and are 'warm' and 'nice' to other people all the time, especially to 'I', but at the same time, they might do and say something that would disturb or hurt other people, and interfering with other people's thinking and belief and way of life, judging and criticizing and complaining about other people, whether intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes in front of people, and many other times, behind other people's back.

Be grateful and thankful that there are people who keep to themselves and don't disturb other people's life and leave us alone, that allow us to be free to be who we are, how we think, what we believe, how we live and behave, that even though they are not intentionally or particularly being 'sociable', or 'friendly', or 'warm', or 'nice' to us, but at least they didn't be 'cruel' or 'not nice' to us, or they didn't disturb and hurt us.

Allowing people to be 'warm' and 'nice' to other people, or not. If people want to be 'warm' and 'nice' to us, we receive with gratitude and appreciation. If people don't have the initiative or interest to be 'warm' and 'nice', let them be. It doesn't mean that they are not good or they are bad people. Be compassionate and understanding.

It's everyone's freedom for what they want to think and believe and behave, and how they act/react and feel. If people want to have expectation, that's their freedom. If people feel disappointed towards something due to ungratified expectation, that's also their freedom.

Be free.

Take care of this mind before it's too late

If we truly want to do something good for ourselves and for the world, the best thing to do is to take care of this mind before it's too late. It's not about trying to interfere with or to control or to change other people's mind, to try to make the world to be the way that we like it to be or what we think it should be. When we are too busy trying to interfere with other people's mind (their thinking, belief and behavior), judging everyone and everything as good or bad and right or wrong, and expecting everyone and everything to be the way that we like it to be, or the way that we think it should be, trying to 'save' the world or to make the world a better place, in pursue for a world that we think is good and meaningful, to be able to achieve all our ambitions to live a life that we want, we might not realize that our minds are lost and drowning in restlessness of all sorts of egoism and impurities, where the mind loses the stability and clarity to think and act properly.

Those who know how to take care of their own minds, they won't be disturbed, or offended, or intimidated, or disappointed by all the different names and forms, or what is happening in the world. There's no fear or worry towards what the mind perceives as 'not good' or 'not right'. There's no clinging and craving towards what the mind perceives as pleasant, nice, enjoyable, agreeable, good, right, positive and happiness. There's no aversion towards what the mind perceives as unpleasant, not nice, not enjoyable, not agreeable, not good, not right, negative and unhappiness.

They can perform actions to benefit the world, but there's no attachment or identification or expectation towards the actions and the result of the actions.

They allow the result of the actions to be there as it is and they allow everyone to be what they are, as they are.

All suffering, conflicts, violence, or hurtful wrong doings derived from ignorance and egoism. Those who know the truth has no anger or hatred towards all kinds of ignorant behavior, neither be disturbed nor determined by it. One is peaceful as one is, disregards all the chaos and unrest in the world due to ignorance, egoism and impurities in people's mind.

If one is disturbed or offended or intimidated by something or some other people that the mind thinks is 'not good' and 'not right', then it is better for this mind to take time and space to retreat from the world or the society of all kinds of worldly activities for some time, to allow the mind to find its way back to stability and clarity before it's too late. When it's too late, the mind loses completely the ability to inquire the truth, and might lost in wild and restless random thought activities or imagination, and requires special mental care treatment and drugs to 'control' the restless mind so that one doesn't hurt oneself or others, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

What's the point of while trying to save the world from restlessness and disharmony, with great interest to know and care for what is going on in the world, and trying to be 'good people' and 'good friend' to show 'love' and 'care' for family and friends, but neglecting one's mind, losing one's peace and harmony, and losing one's own mind in restlessness and impurities of ceaseless mind reactions towards all the inputs from social interactions and medias and activities? One can't help the world but adding another 'disturbed' mind into the world that is already full of many 'disturbed' minds. The family and friends who truly care, they would understand and be supportive that we might need some time and space to be away from the worldly life to take care of this mind. Those who don't really care for us and they don't understand and being unsupportive, we don't need to mind about how they think and what they do, as taking care of our mind is more important.

One can do more to benefit the world when one's mind is in peace and harmony without being disturbed or determined by what is going in the world that the mind doesn't like or doesn't agree with, through purifying and quieting and opening the mind to perform self-inquiry and attain self-realization via the practice of eliminating the egoism of attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

And this is nothing to do with the knowledge and experience of practicing and teaching the yoga poses, or the possession or accumulation of different types of qualifications and certifications, or the knowledge of physiology and anatomy, physical alignment, skills, techniques, strength and flexibility in performing the yoga asana poses, or the knowledge of different meditation techniques, or the knowledge of the different chanting and prayers, or knowing how to chant and pray correctly and nicely, or not. It also has nothing to do with whether one is a Hindu, or not, has a religion belief, or not, and believes in God, or not.

Disregards what the mind knows, experiences, thinks and believes, or not, all minds can be free, if one knows how to free one's mind from ignorance and egoism.

If 'yoga teachers' don't know this, then what do 'yoga teachers' teach to the people who come to learn 'yoga'? If the minds of the 'yoga teachers' are restless, impure and passionate, full of worldly passionate desires, ambitions and stimulation, full of egoistic attachments, identifications and expectations, then what do the 'yoga teachers' teach in the 'yoga class'?

May all be free.

Allowing the mind to see the truth as it is

Disregards what are the different qualities of names and forms that we think and believe and identify as 'I', or THIS is who I am, even when we think we are bad or not good enough or we think other people are bad or not good enough, all minds can be free from ignorance and suffering, and realize unconditional peace and love. We just need to know how to allow the mind to see the truth of all the names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses as it is, be free from ignorance, and thus be free from suffering that arise due to ignorance.

Open mind is when the mind is uninfluenced by or unattached onto any particular thinking and belief and egoistic likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, being free from judgment and expectation, to just see the truth of names and forms as it is.

Minds that attached/identified strongly onto certain cultural, social, spiritual, religious or superstitious thinking and belief, it's not easy for them to see the truth as it is, unless they willingly to let go attachment and identification, and be opened. These minds recognize, analyze, judge, and generate likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements onto all the names and forms that the minds perceive through the senses of what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch/feel and think, and expect all the names and forms to be the way that they think it should be, based on the thinking and belief about what is good and bad, right and wrong, should and shouldn't, positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, appropriateness and disappropriateness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, and so on.

The mind that is opened, it stands as a witness towards all the names and forms as they are, respects everything as they are. Just like the sun, the wind, the water, the earth and the space, they have no egoism of attachment, identification, craving, aversion, pride, superiority, separateness, judgement, discrimination, intention, or expectation. Just like all the cells, internal organs, sense organs and life supporting systems, they have no egoism and ceaselessly performing action to support this body and mind, until they ceased functioning.

The mind that is under the influence of the ego doesn't want to let go all the perceived names and forms, but it determines to interfere with everything that it perceives through the senses, applies judgment of good and bad, positive and negative, right and wrong, enjoyment and suffering, and generates craving and aversion towards all these names and forms, and desires to possess names and forms that it likes, and desires to destroy or get rid of names and forms that it doesn't like. If it doesn't get what it desires, if it gets what it doesn't desire, it gets dissatisfied, disappointed, annoyed, furious, unhappy, angry, hating, and violent.

The egoistic mind thinks and believes that "(I) am more superior and important than other beings, and (I) deserve and have the rights to do and say what (I) like to do and say, but (I) don't allow other beings who are different from (I), to do and say what they like to do and say, which (I) don't like and don't agree with. (I) am right and good. You are different from me. You are wrong and bad. (I) deserve to live and be here. You don't deserve to live and be here. (I) can do what I want to do. You cannot do what you want to do. Just because (I) am more superior and important and deserving than you."

Even the richest person, or the most beautiful person, or the most intelligent knowledgeable person, or the most powerful influential person, or the most healthy illness-free person, or the most religious person, or the most compassionate and wise person, or the oldest person in the world will also have to go through changes, decay, weakness, aging and death, just like everyone else. What is superiority, pride and arrogance? It's merely the ignorant and selfish ego.

Some people have fear towards 'open mind', as they have been told or informed by 'somebody' that open mind is something 'evil' and 'wrong', that their souls might somehow 'float away' and don't know how to 'come back' into the mind or the body, and that they might be inviting or allowing 'evil spirits' to come into the mind and take over the mind.

Those who have the greatest fear towards open mind are not the people who were being told to be fear of open mind, but they are those who try to induce or provoke fear in the people towards open mind, as they can no longer be able to 'control' or 'influence' these people to 'manipulate' them, in order to achieve their own selfish desires and personal agenda. It's because once people allow their minds to be opened and see the truth as it is, being free from ignorance, they won't be influenced or manipulated by anyone or anything.

The people who have selfish desires and personal ambitions make use of the ignorance, egoism, feelings and emotions in other people to manipulate them to 'involuntarily' helping them to achieve their selfish desires and personal ambitions, through provoking fear, or anger and hatred, or racism, or separateness, or intolerance, or violence, and etc, in the people's mind to make people go against each other, to have fear towards each other, to cause unrest in the society, so that the people are too busy dealing with fear, anger and hatred, and won't have time and energy and attention to be aware of what is really going on behind all these unrest, so that the people won't unite together to hinder the selfish people from achieving their selfish desires and personal ambitions.

Some people might also 'misinterpret' open mind as to experience and try everything that they come in contact with, without any self-control or hesitation or responsibility, it doesn't matter if these ideas, things and activities would be harming themselves and others, to prove to themselves and others that they are 'cool' and 'fearless' and 'different' and 'special', that they are 'in-control' of themselves, that they are not conformed to the 'normal' behavior of the society. What they don't realize, is that they are already being 'influenced' or 'controlled' by the idea of want to be disobedient and want to be 'cooler' than others and 'different' from others. This is not what 'open mind' is about. This is not freedom.

Open mind is not about trying to be good or to be the opposite of good.

Either we think we want to be different and special, or we want to be all same and equal, we are not free. As long as there is clinging and craving towards something or idea that we like and agree with, and aversion towards some other thing and idea that we don't like and don't agree with, we are not free, even if we think and believe that our thinking and belief is the best, all good and perfect. Be free from anger and hatred towards something or someone that we think and believe as bad, wrong and evil. If we don't like haters who hate us, don't be one.

Allowing all the different names and forms to be what they are, as they are, without attachment or identification, craving or aversion towards all these names and forms, without trying to change the names and forms to be the way that we like it to be, or the way that we think it should be. Being undisturbed by all the different qualities of names and forms being perceived through the senses, and that is freedom.

Be free.

Selflessness - Being free from the ego (the idea of I) and egoism

The ego is the product of ignorance in the impure mind where there is an idea of 'I' exists as an individual being with certain qualities of names and forms, such like, personal worldly identity and status, personality and characteristic, thinking and belief, physical condition and appearance, gender and sexual orientation, physical and mental ability and achievement, interest and talent, knowledge and memory, aspiration and inspiration, actions and the result of actions, family and relatives, relationships and possessions, social network and interaction, and all that the mind thinks and believes and identifies as 'This is me or I'.

Selflessness is nothing to do with non-existence, as some people might 'interpret' it as non-existence. It's beyond existence and non-existence. When people 'misinterpret' selflessness as non-existence, they might perform actions that would hurt themselves and others by thinking and believing that there won't be any consequences of actions, and so, they think they can do whatever they like and want.

There is no 'I' to be existing or non-existing. There is no 'I' to be selfish or unselfish. There is no 'I' enjoy or suffer. There is no 'I' being happy or unhappy. There is no 'I' being good or bad. There is no 'I' as this or that. It's just the mind functioning and perceiving names and forms through the senses. But due to ignorance, there is an idea of 'I' arise in the mind, that ceaselessly generates attachment and identification towards the impermanent quality of names and forms, and it judges and compares, intends and expects, acts and reacts, likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees, desires and doesn't desire, creates and destroys, enjoys and suffers, aspires and inspires, being proud or humble, being happy and unhappy, feeling meaningful and meaningless, and etc.

The mind that is being free from the ego or egoism is a selfless mind or liberated mind. The entire yoga practice is MAINLY about freeing the mind from the ego or egoism to realize or attain selflessness, which is the nature of life existence. There is no ego in each individual cell in the body, or in the different life supporting systems, organs and glands, or in the sense organs and the senses, or in the oxygen, nutrients, minerals, water and energy that allowing the body and the mind to be existing and functioning, but, this ego that exists as an idea in the mind thinking that 'I' am the most important and the highest above all. "I want my body to be like this and be able to do that. I want my mind to be like this and achieve that. I want my life to be like this and accomplish that, and so on." This ego is full of desires waiting to be fulfilled, and constantly pushing, forcing and hurting the body and the mind in order to gratify all its desires via the body and the mind. When its desires are not being gratified, or there's some obstacles hindering the process of gratifying all its desires, the ego gets offended, humiliated, insulted, dissatisfied, disappointed, angry, hurt, unhappy, depressed, or suffer. And out of these impurities, the ego performs actions or inactions that would hurt the body and the mind, and/or other beings or objects.

Yoga practice is not about being able to perform this or that asana, or pose, or position, or movement, to gain health, beauty and fitness benefits, but it's to train or purify the mind to eventually drop-off this idea of 'I', through annihilate egoism and the by-products of egoism of all sorts of impurities. When the mind is free from the idea of 'I' and 'mine-ness', there's only pure awareness being in the present, being aware of all the perceptions of names and forms through the senses, and all the impermanent changes, functions and activities of the body and the mind, being free from desires of craving and aversion, selfish intention, expectation, attachment and identification.

There's no 'I' being the performer of actions or the receiver of the fruit of actions. There's no 'I' being the thinker or believer. There's no 'I' being compassionate or uncompassionate. There's no 'I' being ignorant or wise. There's no 'I' being limited or unlimited. There's no 'I' being free or not free. There's no 'I' believe or disbelieve in God. There's no 'I' am sinful or sinless.

There's neither past nor the future. There's neither good nor evil. There's neither positive nor negative. There's neither happiness nor unhappiness. There's neither enjoyment nor suffering. There's neither vegetarian nor non-vegetarian. There's neither yogi nor non-yogi.

Be free.

Understanding unhappiness

"I am not happy is because of this. This is bad. This is wrong. This is hurting me. This makes me unhappy."
"I am not happy is because of you. You are bad. You are wrong. You are hurting me. You make me unhappy."

This is incorrect understanding towards unhappiness, or ignorant towards the truth of what is going on in the mind, that generates ceaseless reactions of unhappiness in our minds.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"I am not happy is because I don't like this. I don't agree with this. I don't want this. It's nothing to do with whether this is bad and wrong, or being hurtful. This doesn't make me unhappy. It's my ungratified desire of what I like and don't like, what I want and don't want, that makes me unhappy."

"I am not happy is because I don't like something about you. I don't agree with you. I don't want you to behave in such way. It's nothing to do with whether you are bad and wrong, or being hurtful. You don't make me unhappy. It's my ungratified desire of what I like and don't like, what I want and don't want, that makes me unhappy."

This is the correct understanding that will free our minds from experiencing unhappiness due to ignorance.

Be free.

Who is being unhappy and wants to be happy?

It's the ego that is being unhappy and wants to be happy. Minds that are free from ignorance and egoism is peaceful and joyful as it is and don't need to feel good and meaningful, or to be happy.

Most minds will try to do something that they like and enjoy, and to achieve something that they want to achieve, to feel good and happy and meaningful.

There's also nothing wrong with people want to do good and be kind to others because it makes them feel good and happy, but, that's not the teaching or practice of yoga.

Yoga practice is not about trying to do something to make the ego feels good and happy and meaningful (as this is empowering the ego and egoism) but, it's to remove the root cause of unhappiness - ignorance and egoism. Once the root cause of unhappiness is eliminated, one will be happy as one is.

When the mind is free from egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, and expectation, one will be peaceful and happy as one is. One doesn't need to do something, or not do something, to feel good and happy or meaningful. One doesn't need to take intoxication/alcohol/drugs or to achieve certain results, social status and network, health condition, fitness level, body image, physical and mental ability and good relationships, to feel good and happy and meaningful. One doesn't need other people's love, acceptance, support, acknowledgment, recognition, friendliness and companionship, or any entertainment, enjoyment, achievement and success to be happy or feel good and meaningful.

The teaching and practice of yoga is to abandon all these egoism, one will be peaceful and happy as one is. One can perform good actions and be kind to others out of compassion, without selfish intention or expectation of "I am doing all these because I want to feel good and meaningful and be happy."

Be free.

Truthfulness and worldly social mingling and interaction

To practice truthfulness (one of the basic practice of yoga), we learn how to minimize as much as possible from engaging in worldly social mingling and interaction, because these worldly social activities empower egoism and strengthen worldly ideas, which is the opposite of yoga practice.

If we analyze our daily interactions and conversations with other people, we will see that it's mostly about the empowerment of egoistic personal and worldly attachment, identification, judgment, comparison, expectation, desires of craving and aversion, the past and the future. Yoga practice is to free the mind from all these mind activities of egoism. There is also intentional and unintentional hypocrisy, untruthfulness and ego flattering elements in many of the social interactions and conversations.

It's a normal cultural social politeness for many people to be HYPOCRITE and UNTRUTHFUL and FLATTERING when interacting with other people, to maintain 'good relationship' with everyone in the society and this game of hypocrisy and untruthfulness exists even among family members, couples and friends.

Most people don't want to know the truth as the truth is not necessarily something that they like or agree with.

Since little, everyone was being taught to be polite, to be good and say only good thing in front of everyone, to please other people, to gain love and liking, and acknowledgment/acceptance/recognition from other people, to maintain 'good relationship' with everyone, but then, behind people's back, there's complaints, gossips, slandering, back-biting, criticism, blame, or bitching. There are many this type of 'good relationships' everywhere in the worldly life. And this is being perceived as the 'correct' behavior or 'normal' way of life in the society and in the family. People don't like truthfulness and straightforwardness. Being truthful and straightforward is something very rude and wrong.

Truth seekers don't waste energy, time and effort in this worldly egoistic game of accumulating and cultivating such type of 'good relationships'. And hence, the practice of silence comes into everyday life to minimize involving in unnecessary social game of hypocrisy, untruthfulness and flattering of the ego of oneself and others. Performing selfless service in a huge community, is not about cultivating and accumulating personal friendships or relationships at all, if one truly knows what is selflessness and selfless service.

There are not many 'yoga and meditation enthusiasts' have the understanding, initiative and willpower to cut down or cut off worldly passionate social activities. It's a painful and contradicting process for the mind to retreat from worldly social activities, as it is going against 'normal cultural thinking and behavior'. There are lots of 'justifications' coming from the egoistic mind to avoid or give up renunciation from a passionate worldly life of social activities.

Those who aren't really interested in the path of yoga and meditation to free the mind from the root cause of all suffering - ignorance and egoism, they don't have to practice truthfulness or dispassion or renunciation from worldly social activities.

It's everyone's freedom for what they want to do with their life existence, and what they want to think and believe.

Love dispassionately, desirelessly, compassionately and unconditionally

Whether the past experiences were something good or not good, pleasant or unpleasant, happy or unhappy, desirable or undesirable, let them go.

Whether the future will be okay or not okay, let it be.

Do our best, perform all our duties and responsibilities without forcing ourselves beyond our limitation, and let go the fruit of action.

Live in the present, and whether this present is good or not good, this is also impermanent.

Live as we are, without attachment, identification, craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Love everyone as they are, without attachment, identification, craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Love ourselves, be free from clinging and craving towards love and kindness from others. Allow others to love and be kind to us, or not.

If one knows how to take care oneself, which is taking care of one's mind and loving oneself, one can love others dispassionately, desirelessly, compassionately and unconditionally. One stops hurting oneself and others, especially those whom we think we love and whom are in a relationship with us.

Be free.

Seeing the truth in ourselves that is not necessarily what we would like it to be, is a great liberation

It's common for someone to feel hurt, dissatisfaction and disappointment in a love relationship. That is because we think we love the person in the relationship with us, but we don't.

When we think we are hurt, dissatisfied and disappointed because of his/her bad treatment to us or wrongful behavior, we will do and say things that would hurt/attack this person in the relationship with us. We would go behind his/her back complaining about him/her for this and that, telling other people, especially our family and friends about how bad he/she is. Meanwhile, we keep telling ourselves and other people, "I love him/her so much. I am so good to him/her. How could he/she do this and didn't do that, to me. He/she doesn't love me. I feel so disappointed and hurt."

'Hurt' doesn't exist if we truly love someone. If we truly love him/her as he/she is, we won't do and say things that would hurt him/her even though he/she doesn't love us and isn't nice to us. We won't expect him/her to treat us or behave in certain ways. He/she has the freedom to love us, or not, and to be nice to us, or not. And we have the freedom to decide whether to continue this relationship, or not, without feeling hurt or disappointed.

If we ever feel 'hurt' by someone whom we think we love very much, it actually tells us that we don't really love that person, but we only love our selfish desires of what we like and want. The fact that we feel dissatisfied, disappointed and hurt is because our selfish desires are not being gratified from loving the one whom we think we love very much. We are dissatisfied and disappointed is because we are not getting what we like and want, but we are getting what we don't like and don't want. It's not because he/she is bad or wrong. It's not because he/she doesn't love us or isn't nice to us.

To fall in love with someone is not so difficult, but, to truly love someone beyond selfish desires, is very rare.

The realization of "I think I love you and I want to love you, but I realized I don't really love you because I don't love you as you are." allows us to be free from the corrupted thinking and feeling of "I am disappointed and hurt by the one whom I love very much." Instead, we question ourselves, "How could I demand anything from you or expect you to love me and be nice to me while I don't really love you?" and "If I really love you, I won't demand anything from you and won't expect you to love me and be nice to me. I'll love you as you are, no matter you love me, or not, and want to be nice to me, or not."

This will free us from dissatisfaction, disappointment and hurt, even though the person in the relationship doesn't love us or isn't nice to us. Meanwhile, even though we love someone very much, as he/she is, we don't have to allow someone who doesn't love us and who is not nice to us to take our love for granted, we can let go this person and this relationship.

Seeing the truth in ourselves that is not necessarily what we would like it to be, is a great liberation.

It's okay if we realize we don't love someone, as long as we are aware of it and are being truthful and honest towards ourselves and the one whom we think we love, but not really. And this confrontation with the truth allows us to truly love this person, by freeing ourselves from corrupted thinking and feelings.

The end of ignorance, is peace.

Be free.