Compassion? (Things that our ego doesn't like to hear...)

Different minds might have different understandings or definitions about what is compassion.

The weaker is our ego, the easier for us to be compassionate. The stronger is our ego, the more difficult for us to be compassionate. That's why our ego doesn't like to hear or know anything about "compassion", as compassion is the disappearance of the ego (I-ness, or the idea of I).

By hearing or reading about "compassion", or talk about compassion doesn't really make us become compassionate. Merely by performing some good actions does not necessary mean that we are compassionate, if we have attachment, selfish intention, desire and expectation that motivate us to perform good actions. There is identification as the doer of actions. There is attachment towards the fruit of the actions. Good actions that are being performed out of compassion, is free from attachment, selfish intention, desire and expectation. There is no identification as the doer of actions. There is no attachment towards the fruit of the actions.

Compassion is our true nature. It is who/what we really are, or what everything are, whether we realize it or not.

In the end, we need to realize compassion through our own selves, then only we will know what is compassion and be free. Be free from restlessness, unhappiness, frustration, irritation, anger, hatred, disappointment, dissatisfaction, hurt, fear and worry, that derive from not knowing what is compassion (or not knowing what is I/what we really are), and which is the reason why we do not know how to be compassionate towards ourselves. If we couldn't be compassionate towards ourselves, how could we be compassionate towards other beings? If we cannot accept ourselves as we are, and constantly criticize ourselves for being imperfect, then how can we accept other beings as they are, and stop criticize other beings for being imperfect?

In the path of unconditional peace and love, compassion is not just about performing some good actions. It is also about refrain from performing any evil actions. It's not just about being kind to other living beings, but it is also being kind to ourselves. It's because just by performing good actions and being kind to other living beings, it doesn't guarantee us peace and freedom. We might still be influenced by ignorance and not knowing the truth of things, and be disturbed by impurities like anger and hatred, pride and arrogance, dissatisfaction and disappointment, fear and worry that derive from attachment towards the qualities of good and bad, and be over-powered by craving and aversion.

Due to ignorance, we will be disturbed by the qualities of names and forms that we experience in life.

Due to the influence of selfish desires (craving and aversion), we might engage in performing some evil actions that will hurt others and ourselves. And this shows that we do not know how to love ourselves.

Compassion, which relieves us from all kinds of impurities, painful sorrow and miseries, is also about purifying the mind, realizing the truth of things and being able to accept the reality of everything as it is, and able to accept everyone and everything as it is without attachment, judgment, comparison, prejudice, discrimination, expectation, craving or aversion.

It is being free from egoism and impurities that arise from egoism.

It is being free from selfish desires, craving and aversion.

It is being free from ignorance.

It is being free from attachment towards the qualities of names and forms.

It is realizing namelessness and formlessness, or non-duality. It is going beyond the qualities of names and forms, good and bad, positive and negative, happiness and suffering.

It is being free from anger and hatred, dissatisfaction and disappointment, fear and worry that derive from attachment towards the qualities of names and forms (craving and aversion towards objects and qualities that we like and dislike, agree and disagree with), and having the idea of possessiveness (such like the idea of my life, my body, my thinking, my feelings, my family, my friends, my country, my culture, my religion, my job, my wealth, my health, my things, my pride, my name, and etc).

It is unconditional loving kindness towards ourselves and other beings under the presence of correct knowledge, or right understanding, or wisdom.

It is about self-acceptance, know how to love ourselves unconditionally, be kind to ourselves and have peace in us. As when we know how to accept and love ourselves as we are, be kind to ourselves, and have peace in us, we won't be generating any negativities in ourselves, nor into the world. We won't be in painful sorrow or suffering that arise from attachment towards the qualities of names and forms that derives from being ignorant about the truth of things.

 

Compassion is there as it is upon the annihilation of the idea of I. It is the intentionless actions of many different selfless elements that allow everything to be arising, changing and passing away, selflessly.

There is no ill will, nor argument, nor criticism, nor condemn about anything or anyone that is different from us and what we disagree with. There is no aversion towards any thinking, believes, behaviors, actions and speech that are contradicting with what our mind believes what things are.

It is about tolerance, adjustment, adaptation, accommodation and acceptance. Even if everyone is being influenced by ignorance and egoism, and behaves in the complete opposite way of loving kindness, peace and compassion, we clearly understand why all these beings act and react in such ways, and accept that everyone has the freedom to be what they are, and behave the way that they want to behave. We cannot enforce or control other beings about how they should behave, or how to think and what to believe.

We allow everything (both "good" and "bad" elements) to be exist in the same space of the universe. There is no possessiveness. We don't own this space of the universe. There is no such expectation towards the world hoping that "There is only good things, there is no bad things. Everyone is good and is doing good actions only, and there are no evil beings doing any evil actions", or "The world will not be a suffering place. The world will only be a happy place". As this is not the teaching of Yoga and Buddhism. The teachings of Yoga and Buddhism is about accepting the truth as it is. We can be aware of all the good and bad elements, but no one (not even the enlightened beings) can change or control anyone or the world to be the way that we like it to be, or the way that we think it should be.

Although we cannot change the world to be the way that we like it to be, but we can contribute peace and love into the world by changing ourselves, and realize peace and love in us, being undisturbed nor affected by the qualities of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses. If ourselves are not peaceful, and have no love and kindness in us, then how can we expect the world to be peaceful and expect other beings to be kind and loving?

Everyone needs to realize ignorance in ourselves, and through our own free will, we want to change ourselves and we want to remove ignorance in us. We can only do our best in performing all our duties and responsibilities, perform our own spiritual practice and evolve towards highest realization of unconditional peace and love. By changing ourselves, and realize unconditional peace and love in us, then naturally we are helping the world to change and improve, even without any intention or aspiration to help the world to be a better place for everyone and everything. By being peaceful, and vibrate peace and love into the world, we are benefiting the world, naturally.

Compassion is also knowing the truth of impermanence and accepting the impermanent changes as they are, from moment to moment. Things exist, and will stop existing. Everything keeps arising and passing away. But at the same time, we perform necessary actions out of compassion, without expectation, without attachment towards the actions and the fruit of actions, and allow the fruit of actions to be what it is, not necessarily the way that we expect or like it to be...

It is also knowing the limitations of names and forms, including this perishable and limited physical body and the egoistic intellectual thinking mind, that are conditioned and limited by time, space and causation. Knowing that the body and mind belongs to the energy and elements. It doesn't belong to us, and it is not I, or what we think we are. And at the same time, knowing the unlimited and unconditioned true nature of everything, which is beyond the body, the senses, the mind, the thinking, the feelings and emotions, which is beyond dualities and qualities of good and evil, positive and negative, happiness and suffering.

In the process of learning and performing the yoga asana poses, we learn about the limitations of the physical body and the influence of the ego, and allow us to be able to accept the present condition and abilities, and the limitations of the physical body as it is. At the same time, we perform all the yoga practice without expectation towards the result of the practice, but allowing the result to happen naturally as it is. We allow improvement to happen naturally without expecting any benefits from performing the yoga practice.

We allow physical health condition, stamina, strength and flexibility to improve naturally as we practice yoga asana and breathing exercises regularly, without attachment, without craving towards some pleasant experiences, without aversion towards some unpleasant experiences. As all these physical benefits that come from performing the yoga asana practice and breathing exercises are just a side effect of the yoga practice. It is not the objective of our yoga practice. All these yoga practice allow us to develop the inner strength and flexibility, or the divine qualities that will bring us to the realization of unconditional peace and compassion. It helps to purify the energy fields in the physical body and thus purifying the mind, which helps to remove ignorance or impurities.

Perform all our duties and responsibilities in the world but do not neglect our greatest duty towards our own selves and the universe, which is Self-inquiry, realizing who we really are, and be free from being conditioned by the impure mind and the limited physical body...

That will definitely helps the world to become a better place.

By expecting other people to change into somebody whom we like them to be, or trying to control other people to be the way that we want them to be, will only generate tension, frustration and disappointment in ourselves. Further more, this will also trigger negativities (anger, hatred, aversion) in other people whom we want to control or change them, just because we don't like and don't agree with them and their thinking, believes and behaviors.

Compassion is not different from, or not separated from fearlessness. Fear comes from the wrong identification with the body and mind as I, that doesn't really exist, and having attachment towards all the things that are not us or don't belong to us. This wrong identification and attachment gives rise to the idea of possessiveness, and we will try to protect what we think is "I" and all that belongs to "I". Out of fear of losing the people and things that we love and which we think they belong to us, we will have fear towards some other living beings (people, animals, insects etc), thinking that they might hurt "I" or "my loved ones", or might cause harmful effect and damage to "my life", or "my health", or "my belongings", and so, I will attack these living beings, before they will hurt "I" and damage something that belongs to "I". This is ignorance and selfishness.

We cannot be truly compassionate when we have fear and have self-protection toward ourselves and what we think that are belonged to us, due to egoism or selfishness, or influenced by craving and aversion, anger and hatred, prejudice, dualism, discrimination, selfish desires, selfish expectation and possessiveness, even though we try to perform many good actions and try not to perform any evil actions, or try to be kind to other beings, as we will be miserable, constantly being affected and determined by the result of our actions and inactions, as well as being disturbed by other people (bad) actions and (good) inactions. We will be very unhappy, angry, frustrated and disappointed when our expectations and desires are not being gratified, or when the result of our actions didn't turn out the way that we expect or like it to be.

Constantly contemplate on this teaching about compassion or selflessness, and be free. So that we can help the world to improve to be a better place, even without any intention or aspiration of doing so.

Om shanti.

Indian Chants - Deva Premal - Gayatri Mantra

Gayatri Mantra by Deva Premal.

Indian Chants - Deva Premal - Dakshina

Here is a beautiful Indian Chants album from Deva Premal - Dakshina.

You are not how you look, or what you think how you look, and definitely not how other people perceive or see and think how you look...

Just watched a "touching" video about how women see themselves vs how other people see them (through the physical appearance, or what they think about how they look, or how they feel about themselves based on their physical look).

Our egoistic thinking and feeling mind identifies with our physical body as "I" or "who I am". The egoistic mind attached onto the physical appearance, conditions and abilities to determine the sense of self-esteem, or self-confidence, or self-worth.

"I see myself so ugly, and I feel bad. But other people see me so beautifully, and I feel much better. I'm actually better or worth more than what I think I deserve. As this is what other people think of me. What I think about myself is incorrect, and what others think of me is what I really am."

I guess this is the message that the advertisement tries to inform people. It is sort of an 'encouraging' message for people who are suffering from low self-esteem.

But it doesn't help people to be free from being conditioned by "self-esteem" or "self-worth" that built out of a self-image that derived from ignorance and egoism.

What if other people see us worst than how we see ourselves? (Just like in another video of the men's version of this advertisement campaign)

x x x x x x x x x x

Yoga and Buddhism teachings and practice are here for us to learn how to free the mind from being conditioned by "self-esteem" or "self-worth", which is a side product deriving from ignorance and egoism.

"You are not how you look. You are not what you think how you look. You are not even what you think is who you are. You are not how other people see and think about how you look or who you are. You are not this physical body. You are not how you feel. You are not this thinking and feelings. You are not this mind. The body and mind is not "who I am". There is no "I". It's just the limited body and mind being conditioned by selfless impermanent changes and decay under the nature's law of cause and effect."

This is the basic teaching and practice of yoga. This physical body and its appearance, its conditions and abilities, as well as the egoistic thinking mind that perceives all the names and forms through the senses, who sees, hears, smells, tastes, touches, feels, thinks, judges, desires, expects, acts and reacts, who has likes and dislikes, that comes along with certain personalities, behaviors and characteristics, are not "who I am". They are not "I". The body and mind are merely selfless impermanent names and forms that constantly changing and decaying.

When there is attachment and identification towards the body and the modification of the mind, and the qualities of names and forms, the mind (what we think is ourselves, or "I"), identifies itself with a self-image that is very much based on :-

- The physical appearance, conditions and abilities of what we can do and cannot do. We perceive and create a self-image for ourselves through the senses of what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think and feel. There is an exception if any of the senses is not functioning, such like those who are blind from birth, they might not perceive sights/images/shapes/colours, but they might have a self-image for themselves through the perception from the other senses.

- How we feel and think and judge about ourselves, that is influenced by the egoism, pride, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-criticism, beliefs, religious teachings, relationships, friendships, family and educational background (how we were brought up and what we were told about how we should think and behave), social network and cultural background (the sense of belonging in certain group, culture or society), what we do in life, what we do for living, lifestyle and living standards, possessions, material belongings, enjoyments, likes and dislikes, ambitions, desires, achievements, expectations, judgments, and etc.

x x x x x x x x x

The self-image is the reflection of the ego, or the non-existence "I", that built on our feelings, emotions, thinking, beliefs, characteristics, personalities and all kinds of experiences in that present moment other than the qualities of the physical body.

Our self-image is also being determined by how other people perceive and judge about us through what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, feel and think about us, based on our physical appearance, attires and accessories, hair styles and grooming, facial features, body shapes, body language, facial expression, personal hygiene and tidiness, body smells, skin texture and complexion, expression of thinking, ideas, beliefs, behaviors, emotions, speech, actions and reactions, things that they had heard about us from somewhere, their memories about us in the past, as well as direct contact and personal interactions with us in the present moment. But all these perceptions and judgments from other people are not necessarily the truth of "I" either.

Perceptions from our own mind or from other people's mind that are based on past memories and what the mind thinks, believes and judges what things are, it is not necessarily the truth of things. When our mind is influenced by negative thinking, then everything that we perceive will be contaminated by this negativity in the mind. When our mind is influenced by positive thinking, then everything that we perceive will be contaminated by this positivity in the mind as well. But that is not what things really are. They are neither negative nor positive. They are just what they are. It is just the mind being positive or negative.

Some people who have not seen us for a long time, might still keep a strong image of us (either positive, or negative, or mixture of positive and negative, and whether they liked us or not in the past, whether they'll like us or not in the present moment) based on the memories from the last time they saw us many years ago, and judge us for who we are, which is not the truth of who we are, how we look, how we feel, or how we behave in the present moment now. And most of the time, memories are distorted images. It is not the truth of things as it is.

This self-image comes from our own perception, or from how other people perceive us, is partial and impermanent. It is constantly changing. Our feelings and thinking change. Our physical appearance, conditions and abilities change. Our likes and dislikes, personalities, beliefs, or behaviors change. Everything about us (who we think we are - the mind and the body) change. If this momentary selfless existence is being determined by all these impermanent qualities, then "I" will be in a state of restlessness and dissatisfaction all the time.

Sometimes the mind doesn't want to see things as they are, but projects an imaginary image of what it prefers to be. This is what the teachings of yoga talked about, "The mind only sees and hears what it wants to see or hear..."

No one can argue with one another about each individual mind perceptions about the qualities of names and forms. As each may perceives distinctively or differently from one another on every names and forms that we come in contact with. That's why judgment of good and bad, positive and negative, happiness or suffering, are relatively and subjectively different in each individual about what things are. All these judgments about good or bad, positive or negative, happiness or suffering, are not the truth of what things really are, but it is coming from our own mind limited perceptions based on what our mind thinks, believes and expects what things are.

What we see as beautiful might be something ugly for other people, and vice versa.

The video of this advertisement campaign might help people to realize that our physical appearance or image, is very much being influenced by how we think and feel about ourselves, which is true. But then, in this campaign, people are still relying on a self-image that based on how we think and feel about ourselves, and how other people think and feel about us, to determine that self-image as "This is I". This attachment towards a self-image with certain qualities of names and forms to be identifying as who we are, is the opposite of the teachings of yoga.

There is no "I" being there to be identifying as this or that quality.

x x x x x x x x x

There is nothing wrong to feel better and happier about ourselves, whether it is coming from our own mind perception or from other people's mind perception, and to feel that we actually "worth" more than what we think we deserve. But this only strengthens and empowers the egoism and the attachment towards the physical appearance, the qualities of names and forms, and how other people judge us, to determine the sense of self-worth, self-esteem, or self-confidence of the ego. This is completely going to the opposite direction of the path of yoga and Buddhism towards the realization of selflessness, attributelessness, namelessness and formlessness.

What happen to our ego, when other people see us worst than how we see ourselves, if we are being determined by all these perceptions of names and forms, and judgments coming from our own mind or other people's mind?

We don't need to feel or think that we "worth" a million to feel good about ourselves. We don't even need to feel good. Peace is there as it is, undetermined by how the mind feels and thinks under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

Yoga and Buddhism practice is about letting go of this identification with the physical body and the egoistic thinking mind, as "who I am".

There is no doubt that our confidence, thinking and feelings are influencing the projection of a self-image from the appearance, and vice versa. When our mind feels really bad or really great, it does reflect on our appearance. The self-image that we see ourselves or give to ourselves, are most probably not the same as how other people perceive us. And if we are affected by how different people perceive us differently, our belief and self-confidence about ourselves that built on a projected self-image will be broken easily and frequently.

Sometimes we didn't dressed up "nicely", without any make up or accessories, our physical body is not in a great form, but we will see ourselves looking good as we feel great, confident and happy. This is because we like and love ourselves as we are. Vice versa, even though we dressed up "nicely", put on some beautiful make up and accessories, our physical body is in a great form, but we don't see ourselves looking good, as we feel down, lack of confidence and unhappy. This is because we don't like and don't love ourselves as we are.

If we have true confidence (coming from knowing the Truth of impermanence and selflessness), that is unconditioned and unlimited by the qualities of names and forms, then it doesn't matter what is the conditions, abilities and appearance of this physical body, and what the mind thinks or feels about ourselves, it will not influence or determine us as who we are. Even though sometimes our mind feels sad or down due to certain reasons, but it won't determine or change the truth of selflessness and the unconditional peace.

When the mind knows how to free itself from any identification with any qualities of names and forms, then it doesn't matter how it perceives itself, or how other minds perceive this mind, the mind is just what it is, being undetermined or unconditioned by the impermanent physical appearance/condition and state of the mind.

 

Om shanti.

The lineage of yoga is being contaminated or manipulated by some impure beings?

Out of love and protection towards the lineage of yoga and meditation, some good beings are being angry and worried about the lineage of yoga might be destroyed, or contaminated, or manipulated by some people in the world who are involving in practicing and teaching yoga and meditation without correct understanding or pure intention.

It is normal and nothing wrong to be worried and upset about this. Anyone also will feel sad when seeing something "good" is being contaminated or destroyed.

The point is, we don't have to be angry or worried about whether the lineage of yoga will be destroyed, or contaminated, or manipulated by some impure beings, as there is no one, or nothing can destroy, contaminate or manipulate the essence of the teachings of yoga or the lineage of yoga. When we think like that (even though it is out of our love towards the lineage of yoga), it shows that we don't really have faith in Dharma/Dhamma, or in God, or in the universal consciousness, or in the Self... As all these names and terms are not separated nor different from each other.

The true Self is identical with the universal consciousness. And the true Self will not and cannot be contaminated, nor affected, nor destroyed, nor hurt, nor wounded by anyone, or anything, or qualities, or elements... This teaching is indicated in the Bhagavad Gita.

Ashochyaan anvaschochastwam prajnaavaadaamshcha bhaashase;
Gataasoon agataasoomshcha naanushochanti panditah.
(commentary by Swami Sivananda - Thou hast grieved for those that should not be grieved for, yet thou speakest words of wisdom. The wise grieve neither for the living nor for the death.)

Acchedyo'yam addaahyo'yam akledyo'shoshya eva cha;
Nityah sarvagatah sthaanur achalo'yam sanaatanah.
(commentary by Swami Sivananda - This Self cannot be cut, burnt, wetted or dried up. It is eternal, all-pervading, stable, ancient and immovable.)

When we say Dharma/Dhamma is not affected, nor contaminated, nor hurt by anything or anyone, but it's existence with name and form (the appearance and qualities) in this world is still conditioned by impermanence. It can be destroyed, be contaminated, be manipulated. But the essence or the true nature of Dharma/Dhamma, or the Truth, cannot be destroyed, nor contaminated, nor manipulated. We need to be able to accept the qualities of names and forms (the appearance of Dharma/Dhamma in the world) is subject to changes and impermanence.

Buddha had mentioned about everything that is existing with certain qualities of names and forms, is impermanent, even Dhamma also will be disappearing from the world, but the essence of Dhamma or the Truth can never be contaminated, nor manipulated, nor destructed by anyone or anything...

So what if the authentic lineage of yoga is gradually disappearing from the world? There must be a cause for that to happen, and the truth about everything is, all the names and forms are subject to impermanence.

If everyone is free from ignorance, if everyone is wise and compassionate, if everyone is pure and enlightened, then there is no need of this practice or that practice, including yoga, meditation, Buddhism or any other forms of practice...

It is because people are not free and are not pure, that's why everyone should take up some forms of practice that can help them to be free, to be pure, to be wise, to be compassionate...

Yoga, meditation, Buddhism and other types of practice, are not specially prescribed for the wise, compassionate, peaceful and selfless beings, as all these beings are already free. They don't need yoga, meditation, Buddhism or any other forms of practice to help them to be free, as they are free...

And so, it is not abnormal, nor strange, nor bad, when we see so many people are practicing and teaching yoga in the world now without "correct understanding" or "pure intentions", as these beings are the one who needed yoga, meditation, Buddhism, or any other forms of practice mostly and urgently, to attain correct understanding and be puried through all these practice.

Out of compassion, anyone are welcome to practice yoga, meditation, Buddhism, or any other forms of practice, as that is what all these practices are here for...

And thus, why be angry and upset towards all these "impure happenings" that are going on in the world of yoga, meditation, Buddhism, or any other forms of practice?

If the door of yoga and meditation is only accepting and be opened to those who are pure and wise, so that the lineage of yoga is not being contaminated nor manipulated by all these beings that are not free yet, who are not enlightened yet, then there are only few people in the world are qualified to practice yoga and meditation...

Indeed, we should try our best to protect Dharma/Dhamma as much as we can, as long as we can, so that more beings (who are not free, who need Dharma/Dhamma) will be benefited from the lineage of yoga to be free. But out of compassion, we need to allow and accept all these impure beings into the world of yoga and let them mess around a bit, allow everyone to take their own time to purify, to transform, and be wise and pure. Just like bringing up children. We have to accept them as they are, allow them to make mistakes and learn to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions, allow them to learn and transform in their own ways and pace, allow them to be who they are, and love them as they are.

We don't have to be worried and angry about all these things that are going on in the world of yoga and meditation that seem to be "corrupted", or "not so pure", or "not so authentic", if we truly love yoga, love God, love Dharma/Dhamma, love our Self and love all beings.

I don't even identify myself as pure being, that's why I am still performing my practice regularly as much as I can...

Who am I to judge or criticize other beings for being not pure?

It is okay if in the beginning there are many people who are not pure, who try to do yoga, but are not doing the yoga practice the right way, nor with correct understanding, nor with pure intentions. Everyone starts with being impure and ignorant, and then transformation happens as we practice and when the time is right.

In the beginning when I first started teaching yoga (exercise) class in the dance studio, I had no idea what yoga is or is not. I had no intention to be a yoga teacher to teach yoga classes. I didn't like yoga asana exercises, as I thought they were boring and too slow for me. I didn't even think that I will be giving yoga classes and share yoga with so many people in the present now. My main motivation to teach yoga (exercise) classes beside my full time job as aerobics instructor in the past, was to earn a living to support myself, my parents and to help out my poor family.

The income that came from teaching yoga classes before I went to India, allowed me to be able to pay for my course fees, flight ticket and other expenses, as well as some monthly financial support for my parents when I was not around.

You may read the more detailed story about what brought me to India and how I managed to have the money to go to India to learn yoga, from this link http://mengfoonglai.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-life-stories-part-6.html

As I went deeper into the practice while at the same time giving yoga classes, I allowed myself to transform from within, and I owed this to the opportunity given to me by the universe. The universe was and still is so kind to me. It accepted me when I was ignorant, and be compassionate towards me and my family for my family's poor living condition, and gave me the opportunity to teach "yoga classes" to improve my earning to support myself and my family, but most importantly, it gave me the opportunity to learn about yoga, and to practice yoga, and to transform myself into a more peaceful being. And I serve the universe by sharing these learning and transformation with other beings, where the universe bring us to meet each other.

Protect and preserve the Dharma/Dhamma in us by destroying the ego, impurities and ignorance in us. Trust and have faith in the universal consciousness, allow the universal consciousness to take care of everything else. We are underestimating the power of the universal consciousness (the power of nature) if we think Dharma/Dhamma is going to be contaminated or manipulated by some impure beings. As even if that is happening, there is something for everyone to learn from. A fake guru, or an impure yogi, or a bad yoga teacher can teach us a lot about many things that we need to learn.

Om shanti.

Yogi? Guru? Yoga schools? Ashrams?

A (real) yogi is not determined by all the qualities of names and forms, nor to be judged by their actions and speech, personality or behavior, physical conditions or appearances, attires or accessories, actions or inactions...

If anyone try to look out for a yogi, or try to identify a yogi, and start looking at all these qualities of names and forms to judge and determine whether this or that being is a yogi or not, or is a "good" yogi or not, then we will never find it...

The real search is to realize the "yogi" in ourselves... It is not looking out to see who is yogi and who is not... It is finding or realizing the highest teacher in us, and it's not looking for teachers from the outside to set as an example, or to give us a lift, or to motivate us, or to enlighten us, for us to realize what we are here for.

That is what yoga practice is about. It is for us to realize the attributeless selflessness unconditioned by the qualities of names and forms, in us, beyond our egoistic thinking mind, conditioned and limited physical body, impermanent physical conditions and abilities, appearances, features, shapes, colours, language, personality, characteristic, actions and inactions, short lived or long lived, being in solitude or being among the world, real or unreal, where all are nothing but impermanent and selfless names and forms arising and passing away, governed by the nature law of cause and effect...

Real yoga practice is not necessarily to be found and learned from some other people (so called yoga teachers, or Gurus, or yogis), or from yoga schools, or from Ashrams. The entire (timeless) teachings of yoga is already within us, as the nature of all is identical with the universal selfless consciousness... This is the fundamental essential teachings of yoga. Before the realization of selflessness, our higher pure Self will guide the impure lower self when the time is right. And when the lower self is purified (the ego is eliminated) and it becomes one with the higher Self, there is no more separation or duality. There is no pure or impure self, higher or lower self, teacher or student, inferiority or superiority, good or evil, wise or ignorant, selfish or unselfish...

All the pleasant and unpleasant experiences through this body and mind, of whatever we feel, see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think, are our Gurus. When we experience suffering and painful sorrow, when we experience selfless impermanent changes, that is where the teachings and practice is. We don't need to ask somebody else to inflict pain or suffering onto us, for us to learn about something or to realize about the universal Truth of Selflessness and Impermanence. Our own ignorant impure egoistic mind itself is the origin of all sorts of pain and suffering.

It is not about looking out at other beings, trying to find out, or judge, or determine each and everyone as good beings or bad beings, as saintly beings or evil beings, as selfish beings or unselfish beings, as enlightened beings or ignorant beings, as compassionate beings or discompassionate beings, as yogi or not yogi, as pure yogi or impure yogi, as Guru or not Guru, as real Guru or fake Guru, as yoga teacher or not yoga teacher, as good yoga teacher or bad yoga teacher, and so on...

Look within. That is the only real and pure yogi, Guru, Ashram, yoga teacher, yoga teachings, yoga practice that we can rely on...

Take care of our own mind, our own actions and speech, why be bothered or be disturbed by other people's mind, their actions and their speech?

Om shanti.

My life stories - Part 10

My life Stories - Part 10
Stories from my past memories - childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams came true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now...

(Updated November 2020)

We love travelling and had travelled a lot during the last ten years while we were living on Langkawi Island. Wherever we went, we enjoyed our stay and travelling in the different places with different cultures, scenery and climates. We were also very happy to be back in Langkawi after travelling to some other places.

Living in Langkawi wasn’t any much different from being in a beautiful holiday destination. Many people from around the world go there for short and long holidays. Throughout our travelling regardless of whether we were staying with our family and friends, or staying in the many different tourists guest houses, I continued my daily yoga asana practice wherever we went, on top of the formless yoga practice within the mind every moment which is unseen from the appearance.

Yoga asana practice coordinates with the breath that requires certain amount of self-discipline, concentration, awareness, acceptance, adjustment, adaptation, determination, forbearance and perseverance, isn’t all of yoga. It’s one of the many types of the yoga practice that can help us to influence the state of the mind, to purify the mind, to bring the mind into the present, to channel our energy into performing self-inquiry and meditation to realize unconditional love and peace, to develop correct thinking and self-control to counter evil or negative tendencies, to develop non-attachment and non-identification towards the body and mind, to let go the ego and the desires of craving and aversion, to develop inner strength and flexibility to deal with challenges and undesirable experiences in life, and eventually be free from all sorts of suffering that derived from ignorance and egoism.

Yoga asana practice being practiced with the correct attitude and understanding helps us to realize and respect the truth of impermanence in everything, be able to let go attachment towards the qualities of name and form, and thus, be unaffected, undisturbed and undetermined by the impermanent qualities of name and form that the mind perceives through the senses. It also helps to maintain a better physical and mental health condition for us to make good use of this body and mind or this life existence, to help ourselves to be in peace and to serve other beings.

At home in Langkawi, whether we were running yoga retreats or not, I maintained my daily yoga asana practice even if it’s only for one hour in the evening after sending our retreat guests back to the guest house. When we were running yoga retreats, I would get up around 6.00 am, and would be continuing busy until after 9.00 pm, or sometimes after 10.30 pm if we brought our guests to Kuah town for dinner and to explore the local night market. When there was a short break in between yoga classes, I was being busy with preparing the meals for the retreat.

I enjoyed being busy with running the yoga retreats, teaching yoga classes, doing the maintenance work such like cleaning and tidying our yoga studio and our home where the retreat guests had their meals with us, being the driver sending our guests between our yoga studio and the guest house, shopping for fresh fruit and vegetables and what we need for the retreats, and cooking for our guests.

When we didn’t have yoga retreats going on, I also enjoyed having more free time for ourselves (my husband and I) spending time together going to the beach or the waterfalls and doing the things that we weren’t able to do when we were running the retreats. Usually I practiced my daily asana routine for about two hours when we were not running retreats, as well as writing some blog posts inspired by my daily personal yoga practice and from giving yoga classes.

Rarely, some days I would take rest from asana practice. I didn’t feel bad or uncomfortable when I don’t perform asana practice for a day or a few days, as that was the resting time which my body needed for that time being, to be away from too many physical activities. It doesn’t matter if there is no suitable time or space for me to practice yoga asana physically, the yoga practice within will never stop.

During our travelling in India for more than six weeks in the end of 2012, I had encountered quite serious discomfort on my left knee coming from the old injuries resulted from my previously more than twenty years of high impact fitness workouts and competitive physical trainings for competitions. I couldn’t walk properly. The pain woke me up during my sleep for many nights. But still, it didn’t stop me from doing my daily yoga asana practice. I still continued with my yoga asana practice with some modifications to allow my knee to heal itself with some exercises that help to strengthen and maintain the mobility of the muscular tendons that support the knees. The knee discomfort went on for four months before getting back to its normal condition (discomfort free).

These are the videos of my daily yoga asana practice in India while having the knee discomfort. It wasn’t much different from my usual asana practice, but I performed the exercises with some adjustments to accommodate the discomfort in my left knee :

Basically, I live a very simple lifestyle. Besides the daily life routines, I spend most of the time observing silence and doing yoga practice, purifying the thoughts, actions and speech, developing and strengthening the inner strength and flexibility, being aware of and letting go desire of craving and aversion, impurities or impure thoughts that arising and passing away in the mind, and sharing yoga through the blogs. I spend some of the time on doing house works, washing and cleaning which I enjoy very much. I never feel there’s any separation from yoga whether I am doing some yoga practice in a particular name and form, or just living every day life.

It doesn’t matter whether my body is at rest or in action, being with some other people or being with myself, I don’t feel separation from yoga. Whatever I do or don’t do, all are not separated from yoga practice. Buddhism practice, Karma yoga, Raja yoga, Bhakti yoga, Jnana yoga are all co-existing in actions and inactions. It’s all about eliminating the ego and egoism, removing ignorance, and to enjoy real freedom of peace. All these are the yoga and meditation practice in life every moment. Without doing any yoga asana practice or any other forms of yoga practice of particular name and form doesn’t stop the mind from practicing yoga or realizing yoga, and be in peace.

I spend lots of time being with myself (whether surrounded by people and happenings, or being alone), especially when there are no retreats. I don’t feel myself being isolated from anything or anyone, even when I am alone by myself. I don’t feel that I need to be in certain place, or being with certain people that I like, or doing certain things that I enjoy doing, to feel good, happy, love and meaningful. The point is, I don’t need to feel good, happy, love and meaningful at all. I am peaceful as I am. Wherever I am or I am not, whatever I am doing or I am not doing, I am at ease. I will try to stay out of unnecessary troubles when I can see them coming. If I can’t avoid them, I accept them as they are.

I try to stay away from social gossips and vain talks as much as possible.

I don’t need to be in the Ashrams or attend silent retreats to cut off from social life activities for me to observe silence, seclusion, self-contemplation, self-discipline, or to practice yoga and meditation, although occasionally I will spend some time in the Ashrams and the silent retreat centres. There’s no difference for me in my own practice, wherever I am, as the mind is being in the present following wherever the body goes.

x x x x x x x x x x

Before we moved to the first cement house in Pantai Cenang, I didn’t cook at all. My husband did all the cooking for the meals of our yoga retreats. I had started preparing food and cooking for our yoga retreats only after we moved into the cement house. This was possible after we had rented the cement house with bigger kitchen and dining hall, and we only used the wooden house as yoga studio for the retreats classes and activities. It’s also conveniently located very close to our yoga studio, where the retreat guests could easily walk to the cement house for meals after the sessions.

Before we had the cement house to prepare the meals separately from the yoga studio, my husband did the cooking as soon as the session finished while I sent the retreat guests back to their guesthouse, and then an hour later, I brought them back to the yoga studio to have meals with us. By having the kitchen in the cement house, I could do the cooking while my husband was teaching the session at the yoga studio, and meals would be ready by the time the session finished. The guests didn’t need to go back to their guesthouse and then come back again for meals wasting time in the commute.

I enjoyed very much preparing and cooking the food for our retreat guests. I had no idea how to cook or what to cook, but I was determined to try to learn to cook from watching you tube videos and getting recipes from the Internet. My husband was my food taster. It didn’t matter to me in the beginning the food tasted not so good. I kept trying to experiment cooking. Until my husband thought it was good enough, I started preparing and cooking the dishes for our yoga retreats.

Because I love eating Malaysian food, Chinese food and Thai food, I learned to cook a few dishes like Chinese style stir-fried different types of vegetables, vegetarian Thai green curry, vegetarian Nyonya sambal with tempe, Achar – vegetables pickles, boiled or mashed potato, vegetable soups, and pan fried or grilled mushrooms. Basically I didn’t have precise measurement for the ingredients that I used. That’s why they tasted slightly different every time when I cooked. During retreat rest time, my husband would prepare the chickpeas curry, vegetarian lasagna with tempe, hummus, tahini, condiment dressings for salads, homemade bread and a few other vegetable dishes that I didn’t know how to cook yet. I just needed to heat up those pre-cooked food and put the salads and bread on the table before the session finished. Marc is a very good cook. He had been cooking for a mountain refuge and a restaurant in France for a few years.

I am contented and grateful for the past and present living condition which was and is very conducive and convenient for me to practice yoga in the present moment.

All is impermanent.

READ ON...

Yoga practice is not separated from yoga philosophy or everyday life...

Without yoga philosophy or yoga teachings and without life, there is no yoga practice... It is a contradiction when we say that we want to practice yoga but we do not want to practice the yoga philosophy or the teachings, or we can only practice yoga in yoga classes and retreats, but we cannot practice yoga in everyday life. As when we really practice yoga, we are actually practicing the yoga philosophy or the teachings practically in everyday life, as yoga practice is not just about doing some physical yoga exercises in yoga classes or retreats...

Even though some people practice yoga asana poses regularly by attending yoga classes for many years, and we can perform many of the complicated asana poses that require certain degrees of physical strength and flexibility, and our physical fitness level is at the peak level, it still doesn't guarantee us peace, compassion and wisdom. We still can be not free from impurities, ignorance, anger, hatred, jealousy, dissatisfaction, disappointment, pride, arrogance, fear, worry, cravings, aversions, unhappiness, and doubts...

We (out of ignorance) might even think and believe that "To share or teach yoga, yoga teachers need to be qualified or certified by some recognized yoga affiliations. And as yoga teachers, they should be able to do all the yoga asana poses and know all their names in Sanskrit by hard, and they should be able to touch their head with their feet from behind..."

We judge and categorize a yoga teacher, yoga practitioner and the yoga practice (beginner, intermediate or advance level) based on the fitness level of physical strength and flexibility to perform the asana poses, or based on how many hours of yoga courses we had attended in the past...

Some people said that they only want to practice "yoga" but they don't agree with or cannot accept the yoga philosophy or teachings... What they actually mean is that they only want to do the yoga asana exercises as it makes them feel good, fit, strong and flexible, but they do not want to know anything about letting go of the ego, letting go of pride and arrogance, letting go of selfish desires and attachments, letting go of cravings and aversions, letting go of judgment and expectation, letting go of anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, fear and worry, and etc...

They are not interested at all to practice non-attachment, or to know about the mind, or to realize unconditional peace, selflessness or compassion. They say it is impossible to practice all these "philosophy" or teachings of yoga in their everyday life, living and working in the big city of the competitive modern world. They think these yoga philosophy or teachings can only be practiced in peaceful quiet environment where there is no external distraction, or disturbance, or tension, or stressful elements... There is nothing wrong with this type of thinking, as just by doing the physical exercise is already a very good pastime activity to improve our physical and mental health and fitness...

The main obstacle that contributes to this type of understanding is our own egoistic mind being not knowing or being unaware of the ignorance in the mind, due to ignorance (absence of wisdom)... Just like the eyes can only see what is in front of it, but it couldn't see itself. It can perceive objects, names and forms in front of it, but it couldn't perceive itself... It needs a mirror (reflection) to see itself. And this mirror, is awareness from the higher mind, to be aware of the ignorance in us, to be aware that there are impurities in our mind that hinder us from seeing the truth of things as it is, to be aware that it is our own mind being responsible for the happiness and unhappiness in us...

The one who thinks and believes that "It is not possible to practice yoga in everyday modern competitive hectic lifestyle and stressful working environment" or "Yoga can only be practiced in a yoga and meditation retreat centre with peaceful quiet environment away from all sorts of distractions, disturbance, tension and stressful elements", is our egoistic mind.

We (our mind) think and believe that there is an "I". We (the egoistic mind) think and believe that this body and this mind, and all its modifications (sensations, feelings, emotions, thinking, believes, personalities, characteristics, actions and reactions, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, wants and don't wants, self-image, self-worth, self-esteem, and etc) belongs to "I", and they are who "I" am.

It's because of this wrong identification or incorrect understanding, we (the egoistic mind) have selfish intentions (good or bad intention) to motivate us to perform actions, we have selfish desires and attachments. From these selfish intentions, desires and attachments, we have expectations. We expect to receive the fruit of our actions the way that we like it to be (craving for something that we like and agree with), and expect not to receive the fruit of our actions the way that we don't like it to be (aversion towards something that we don't like and disagree with)...

From expectations, we have cravings and aversions. From cravings and aversions, we have fear, restlessness, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, disappointment, frustration, irritation, pride, arrogance, self-protection (something like "I'll kill you first before you kill me"). And all these impurities strengthen the ignorance... And ignorance strengthens the egoism... And egoism strengthens all the selfish intentions, desires and attachments, and thus strengthens expectation, cravings and aversions, and thus strengthens fear and all the other impurities, and so on...

When we say we cannot let go of the ego, it is actually our egoistic mind being reluctant to let go of its selfish desires and attachments. We do not want to let go of this "I", who we think what we are...

We do not want, or we have fear of letting go of the self-image that we have been building up for this "I" with such and such qualities that we would like us to be... We identify ourselves as "somebody" with all these qualities that we possess (qualities that we like and agree with) and don't possess (qualities that we don't like and disagree with).

We want to protect this self-image to the extend that we will say and do things that will hurt ourselves and other beings. We do not want this self-image to be damaged or stained by any external elements, such like judgments come from people whom we come in contact with, relationships status, friendships status, things, happenings, social status, career status, and etc, as we (the egoistic mind) depend on all these elements to support and compliment us for who we think what we are.

When we realize compassion that is free from (or by letting go of) attachments, craving and aversion, separateness, discrimination, selfish desires, possessiveness, judgment and expectation, we will be able to perform all our duties and responsibility at home, at work or in the society, without being affected or determined by our actions and the result of our actions, whether the actions are being performed for ourselves or for other beings, whether it is a job that is getting some pay, or it is a volunteering work without getting any pay. We are able to perform all actions without fear, without selfish intentions, desires and attachments, without possessiveness and expectation... There is no stress, tension, expectation, disappointment, as there is no such thing as success or failure when we renounce the fruit of actions... We do our best in everything we do, and we renounce from the fruit of our actions. We are not affected nor determined by the result of our actions, or other people's reactions towards our actions.

Compassion and friendliness is nothing to do with how many personal friends or good friends that we know and have, whom we can spend time with, to eat, to drink, to talk and to do things together (or how many friendships that we have been accumulating and possessed), or whether we have an active social lifestyle or not. It is being free from ill-will, or hatred, or discrimination, or judgment, or expectation, or fear towards any beings, even if some of the beings' thinking and behaviors are not what we like nor what we can agree with...

When we have selfish intentions, desires and attachments, cravings and aversions, expectations and fear, we will identify or categorize the people or beings whom we like and agree with, as friends. And we will identify or categorize the people or beings whom we don't like and disagree with, as not friends (or as enemies)... These are friendships or social networks that are made under the influence of our selfish intentions, desires, attachments, cravings and aversions, likes and dislikes, discrimination, judgment, expectation and fear...

When we see a poisonous snake in front of us, out of fear and self-protection (by imagining, or anticipating, or expecting the snake is going to harm us), we might attack and hurt the snake first, even if the snake has no intention to harm us at all... This is selfishness and ignorance... This is absence of compassion and wisdom...

Yoga practice is in life. In our every moment of existence.

Om shanti.

Video - my daily yoga asana practice (6)

This is part of my daily yoga asana practice.

Yoga (Asana) classes?

One of the yoga students requested the yoga teacher to give a "gentle" yoga asana session this morning, as after a few days of continuous yoga asana practice, the physical body was experiencing discomfortable sensations like muscular fatigue, tightness and soreness.

This was the teaching in the class today.

This is what yoga practice is about. It is being aware of the reality of the present moment now as it is, and accepting the reality as it is, without generate craving or aversion towards the pleasant or unpleasant experiences. This physical body is now experiencing discomfortable sensations coming from a few days of yoga asana practice, is actually a great opportunity for us to learn how to accept the reality of the present moment now as it is, even though it's not necessarily the way that we would like it to be, or the way that we think how it should be. As well as we are learning, experiencing, observing and accepting about the truth that everything is impermanent. It doesn't matter they are pleasant or unpleasant sensations, thoughts, conditions or feelings, they all are impermanent.

The yoga asana class is just being what it is. It is neither an intense session nor a gentle session. In the same yoga asana class, there are some students might be very fit, strong and flexible physically, and some others might be less fit, less strong and less flexible. Those who have stronger physical condition and are familiar with the yoga asana poses and exercises, they will say that this yoga asana session is an easy and gentle session (for them). While the others who have poorer physical condition and are not so familiar with the yoga asana poses and exercises, they will say that this yoga asana session is a difficult and intense session (for them). But the yoga asana poses and exercises in the yoga asana classes have no qualities or intentions to be something easy or difficult, gentle or intense. The yoga asana class is neither a beginner level nor advance level class. When our body can do it and feel pleasantness, our mind will judge "it's easy", while when our body encounters unpleasantness and cannot do it (yet), our mind will judge "it's difficult". The same exercises everyone is doing, some will say it's easy, and some will say it's difficult, but the exercises themselves have no quality or intention to be something easy or difficult.

Yoga, or peace and compassion, is not determined by how strong and flexible we are to perform the yoga asana poses, neither it is about how perfect we can perform the asana poses, or how good we look and feel during and after performing the asana poses or exercises, or whether we can perform all the yoga asana poses easily, or not.

Performing the yoga asana poses and exercises in a yoga class is not about trying to attain good feelings or pleasant sensations, or to avoid unpleasant sensations. It is not about "I only want to do the yoga poses and exercises that I like to do that make me feel good, and I don't want to do the yoga poses and exercises that I don't like to do, that make me feel tired and sore later," or "I only want to do the exercises that will make my body feels comfortable, and I don't want to do any exercises that will make my body feels uncomfortable."

Yoga asana practice in the yoga classes is for us to find out what is the ego and how to be free from the ego, or how to let go of the ego. It is for us to practice non-attachment or letting go of attachment. It is for us to practice letting go of the identification with the body and mind. It is about letting go of craving and clinging onto the objects or conditions that we like and agree with, and letting go of aversion towards the objects or conditions that we don't like and disagree with.

Yoga asana practice and the exercises are for us to purify the mind, to remove impurities, to balance the mind, to calm the mind, to silent the mind, and to channel or direct the mind attention to contemplate on the Truth of things, names and forms, and to inquire who am "I". It is to eliminate ignorance to know the Truth. During the yoga asana class, we are limiting or restricting our thoughts, physical activities and speech by focusing on learning and performing the exercises and yoga poses. Most of the yoga poses request great amount of concentration being in the present moment, and letting go of fear, for us to be able to do it. And during this period of time, our body and mind is being busy engaging in performing wholesome yoga asana exercises, and not engaging in unwholesome thinking, physical activities and speech.

Attending yoga (asana) classes is not about expecting the teacher to give us something that we prefer, or what we would like it to be, or what we can agree with. It is about learning to be open-minded to adapt and accommodate the exercises that we are not familiar with, and to adjust ourselves into any types of exercises while knowing our own physical limitations, and we just do our best without forcing, or trying to challenge our physical body to go beyond its limitations. We don't have to force ourselves to perform all the exercises in the yoga class. We don't have to look like other people in the yoga class, or be like the yoga teacher when we perform the asana poses, as we all have a different body and having different physical limitations. We should know when to take some rest and when to continue practice. We should know whether it is the ego rejects to continue the practice, or it is the physical body has come to its limitations and it needs to take some rest. We learn to become our own teacher and take full responsibility for looking after the well-being of our body and mind.

We learn to forbear or withstand certain amount of physical "discomforts" coming from performing the yoga exercises (this discomfortable sensation is not the same as the sharp painful sensation coming from muscular tendon injuries due to pushing our body beyond its limitations, which is an alarm warning us that we should not go beyond that limitation), and allowing the physical body to improve the skill, stamina, strength and flexibility gradually as we practice regularly. Allowing the physical body to continue to practice the exercises that it doesn't familiar with, until it can adjust and adapt into all these yoga exercises effortlessly.

Unless the physical body is experiencing or suffering from certain injuries or illness, then we should allow the physical body to take some rest, and avoid performing certain physical activities that will stimulate or exaggerate the injuries or illness. In order to improve physical fitness level, we need to "push" the physical body to its maximum limits, but not beyond its limitations, so that we can train the body to become skillful, fitter, stronger and more flexible without injuring it.

In the beginning of our yoga asana practice, it is normal that our body will feel discomfort, struggle, tiredness and soreness from time to time, as the physical body needs regular practice to adjust and adapt into the physical activities that it doesn't familiar with, and it needs to take sufficient rest in between practices. Then only the physical body can improve its overall fitness level with continuous regular practice. Eventually as we continue performing the exercises while enduring some discomfort sensations due to the unfamiliar physical activities, the skill, stamina, strength and flexibility will improve, and all these muscular fatigue, tightness and soreness will become less and less. Our body will develop stronger endurance, stamina, strength and flexibility.

 

There's nothing wrong if we only want to do some easy exercises within our comfort zone, and don't want to experience any muscular fatigue, tightness and soreness, or discomfortable sensations at all, but then the body won't be getting the required stress endurance training that is essential for developing certain skill, stamina, strength and flexibility. Although peace and compassion has nothing to do with the over-all physical fitness level to perform the yoga asana practice, but the mental endurance, strength and flexibility that can be developed while dealing with the effects of the regular yoga asana practice, will help the mind to move forward on the path of yoga during challenging times.

This practice of non-attachment is not just being observed or practiced in the yoga classes while performing the yoga exercises, but it is every moment in our heart, in our life, we are practicing non-attachment. We learn to accept the reality of the present moment now as it is, even though it is not what we would like it to be. We accommodate the discomfortable or difficult situations and conditions. It is not about trying to change the situations and conditions that we don't like, into something that we like it, to accommodate us, but we are able to make adjustment and adapt ourselves into any discomfortable or difficult conditions and situations. When we experience some discomfortable situations or difficult conditions in life, we do not and cannot ask life to be easy and gentle on us. Instead, we accept the reality as it is, make necessary adjustment, and adapt ourselves into any discomfortable or difficult conditions and situations, and accommodate the present conditions and situations that we don't like or disagree with, that is unpleasant, in peace.

This is the inner strength and flexibility that we want to develop in our yoga practice while performing the yoga asana exercises. It is about life. It is not just about attending a yoga class performing some yoga asana poses, and telling ourselves and other people that we are practicing yoga, or we have done our yoga practice everyday, but then in life, we attached onto the body and mind, over-powered by the ego, and we are constantly being affected, disturbed, influenced, determined by the desire of craving and aversion towards the situations and conditions that we like and dislike, agree and disagree with. It is about being able to be undisturbed, unaffected, uninfluenced or undetermined by the qualities of names and forms that our mind perceives through the senses of what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch,feel and think, without generating craving and aversion. It is knowing and accepting the truth of things as they are. Knowing that everything is just what they are. They are not something good or bad, positive or negative, happy or suffering, meaningful or meaningless.

Compassion is not just about performing some good and kind actions in the world. It is about accepting the reality as it is, and accepting everything and everyone as they are. There is no fear, no worry, no anger, no hatred, no greed, no dissatisfaction, no selfish desires, no selfish expectation, no discrimination towards all the different qualities of names and forms, no preferences of likes and dislikes, no attachment towards the qualities of names and forms, no jealousy, no possessiveness, no pride, no arrogance, no disappointment, no criticism, no condemn, no attachment towards the actions and the result of the actions, and so on. It is realizing what is non-duality, namelessness, formlessness, attributelessness, oneness, non-separateness, and being free from dissatisfaction, restlessness, unpeacefulness or suffering deriving from ignorance.

In the process of learning and trying to perform the yoga practice and yoga asana poses or exercises in the yoga classes, we are actually developing inner strength and inner flexibility. These are the qualities that will allow us to realize unconditional peace and compassion, that will free us from ignorance, doubts, impurities, restlessness, dissatisfaction, anger, hatred, disappointment, fear, worry, unhappiness or suffering.

The physical stamina, strength and flexibility are just a side product coming from performing the yoga exercises regularly. It is not the main purpose of performing the yoga practice.

We should be developing patience, perseverance, determination, will-power, forbearance, withstand, acceptance, tolerance, adjustment, adaptation, accommodation, cheerfulness, courage, observation, mindfulness, awareness, thoughtfulness, humility, concentration, being in the present moment, one-pointedness, self-discipline, self-control, non-judgment, non-comparison, non-expectation, non-identification, non-attachment and letting go of the ego, during the process of learning and practicing the yoga asana poses, breathing exercises, chanting, studying or contemplating on the yoga teachings, selfless service, restraining the senses from going out chasing after the objects of the senses, concentration exercises, and meditation practice.

These qualities act as a medium, or a tool, or an instrument for us to render the mind calm and pure, preparing the mind for meditation, or self-inquiry, or contemplation upon the Truth, to realize the nature of names and forms of selflessness and impermanence, and realizing unconditional peace and compassion.

Without these qualities, it is not easy for us to realize peace and compassion, as we will be easily be annoyed, frustrated, irritated, angry, disappointed or hurt by the perceived names and forms or the objects of the senses that we don't like and disagree with. There is no peace, as we are constantly being affected, disturbed, influenced, determined or over-powered by all the impurities that arise in the mind coming from the egoistic reactions of the ignorant mind towards what it perceives through the senses, from moment to moment.

When we hear the yoga teachings about "Go beyond the physical body", it doesn't mean that we challenge our physical body to go beyond its limitations to make it stronger and more flexible than what it is now, but it is about going beyond the attachment or identification with the physical body. Let go of the identification with the impermanent conditions and abilities of the physical body as "I". By making the body stronger and more flexible, or being able to perform many asana poses, is not a guarantee of peace and compassion. Peace and compassion doesn't come from being physically strong and flexible.

Being a "vegetarian" or "non-vegetarian", is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Being a good person or bad person, is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Performing good actions or bad actions, is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Being highly educated or have limited education, is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Being artistic or not, creative or not, intelligent or not, is also not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Having good conditions or bad conditions in life, is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Having a good physical health condition or poor physical health condition is not a guarantee of peace and compassion.

Peace and compassion is there as it is, upon the annihilation of ignorance and egoism. It is realizing the Truth of names and forms where everything is selfless and impermanent, and realizing namelessness, formlessness, attributelessness, non-duality, oneness, or non-separateness beyond all the different names and forms.

Yoga is not about being positive or optimistic. It is about not attached towards the qualities of names and forms, or to go beyond what our minds think and believe is positive and negative, happiness and suffering, good and bad, meaningfulness and meaninglessness. All these qualities are not the truth of what things really are. Everything is just what it is. They have no qualities or intentions to be good or bad, positive or negative, happiness or suffering, meaningful or meaningless. All these "qualities" are coming from our own minds projecting onto the names and forms to be what our minds want to believe what things are.

And so, allowing the teacher to teach whatever the teacher wants to teach in the yoga (asana) class, without expecting the yoga class to be something that we prefer or what we would like it to be. But we make adjustment, and adapt ourselves into the practice that are new to us, or being different from what we familiar with. In the same session, some students will prefer more gentle form of exercises, and some will prefer more intense form of exercises, even if the class is stated as "gentle yoga class" or "intense yoga class". As we all have different expectation or projection towards what type of gentleness is "gentle" and what is not, or what type of intensity is "intense" and what is not. A gentle class can be too gentle for certain people or might not be gentle enough for some other people. An intense class can be too intense for certain people or might not be intense enough for some other people. Everyone has different types of physical stamina, strength and flexibility, different types of physical limitations, and different types of likes and dislikes towards certain asana poses or exercises. And all these names and forms are impermanent. Every day it's different. Every moment it's different.

The physical exercises and the effects that come from attending yoga (asana) classes are for the mind to be aware of the ego, and not to be influenced by the desire of craving and aversion that comes from the ego, until the mind is free from the egoistic desire of craving and aversion.

Om shanti.

Go beyond selfishness, replace performing actions "to achieve what I want to do" with "to benefit all beings"...

Some say that they need "passionate" desires or reasons to motivate them to do their best to be successful in what they want to achieve, or to give them the strength to do what they want to do for themselves or for other people...

When we go beyond the egoism or selfishness, then the strength that motivate us, or the "reason" for us to perform all actions is compassion.

Out of compassion towards all beings (including ourselves is also one of the beings), we perform all our actions whether it is for ourselves or for other beings. Even if the actions seem like is being performed for ourselves, it doesn't seem like it has anything to do with other beings, but when we know how to take good care of ourselves, when we have peace and love in us, our entire existence will be benefiting all other beings naturally... We will be generating vibrations of peace and love into the environment, and there will be less a being generates negativities into the world, even if we don't have any intentions or desires to benefit anyone...

There is no "I" am benefiting the world, or "I" want to benefit the world, or "I" want the world to be benefited by "my" actions...

We don't need "passionate" motivations to motivate us to do good for others, but out of compassion, to benefit all beings (including ourselves is also one of the beings), we perform all actions without selfish desires, or selfish intentions, or selfish expectations...

It is not because "I" want to do good. It is not because "I" want to feel good. It is not because "I" want other beings to be helped and be happy. It is not because "I" want to be the strong one to be able to help other beings who are weaker than me. It is not because "I" like to help other beings. It is not because "I" want the world to be a better place... and so on.

Replace all these "I" and "I want" with "for the benefits and convenience for all beings (including ourselves)"... There's no difference between other beings and "I". This being ("I") is also one of the beings that need to be compassionate at...

There is no need to have "I" being there to be motivated by certain reasons, or any desires, or any intentions, or any expectations to perform all these actions... All these actions are merely "to serve the universe, to serve all beings"... Without the "I" identify as the doer of actions and the receiver of the fruit of actions...

There is no attachment towards the actions and the result of the actions.

There is no difference between success and failure, praise and condemn, compliments or criticisms, appreciation and inappreciation...

Om shanti.

How to be happy or have a happy mind?

Before this mind can go beyond the identification with the modification of the mind, the intellect, or the ego, there's an idea of 'I' identifying with the mind and all its modifications as "I", or "me", or "my thinking and my feelings"... 

 

The thinking mind under the idea of 'I' wants to feel pleasantness, or it wants to feel good, or it wants happiness, or in general, we, or all minds under the idea of 'I' want to be happy. What we want is a happy mind. We like ourselves when we are happy, and other people will also like us, when we are happy. And then, out of attachment and identification and craving, we will be more happy when other people like us when we are happy, and so on...

If so, we need to start with understanding the elements or qualities that influence or determine the states of mind. And try to remove, or eliminate, or reduce the qualities that make the mind feels bad and unhappy, and try to cultivate, or develop, or increase the qualities that make the mind feels good and happy.

Most of the time, the mind is swaying between the state of happiness and unhappiness. Occasionally, the mind is in a state of neutral, neither happiness nor unhappiness, as there is no elements of happiness or unhappiness occupying the mind. There is no reason or cause for the mind to feel happy or unhappy. That is similar to momentary peacefulness, neither elevated nor depressed... But all these states of mind are impermanent. They will change and disappear. That's why we can never be truly satisfied if we identify with the fluctuating mind as "I" or "me".

An unhappy mind is when the mind is being occupied by impurities like anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, pride, arrogance, agitation, depression, anxiety, irritation, frustration, insecurity, fear, worry, craving, aversion, hurts, resentment, vengeance, emptiness, meaninglessness, low self-esteem, cowardliness, non-accomplishment, non-productiveness, suppression, offensiveness, defensiveness, doubts, and etc, that make our mind feels disturbed, unhappy or bad... And so, when the mind is being free from all these impurities, elements or qualities that give rise to unhappy or unpleasant sensations, the mind will be in a state of being absent of disturbed or unhappiness... That's why we try to avoid these elements, as we don't like or don't enjoy the state of disturbed or unhappiness.

A happy mind is when the mind is being in a state of calmness, contentment, satisfaction, high self-esteem, courageous, clarity, joyfulness, love, meaningfulness, creativeness, productiveness, blessedness, gratefulness, thankfulness, appreciativeness, accomplishment, doubtless, fearless, worryless, and etc, that make our mind feels happy or feels good... And so, when these elements or qualities that contribute happy or pleasant sensations are absent from the mind, the mind will be in a state of being absent of happiness... That's why we keep looking for all these elements and try to maintain them, as we like and enjoy the state of happiness.

But know that these two groups of elements that give rise to either the sense of happiness or unhappiness are impermanent, it doesn't give true and lasting satisfaction... It is the absent of the idea of 'I', where there's no identification in the mind towards its selfless restless modifications that will bring realization towards the truth of the selfless impermanent existence and function of a selfless physical body and selfless thinking mind, where beyond all kinds of impermanent changes, is timelessness, selflessness, non-separateness, attributelessness, namelessness, formlessness, birthlessness, deathlessness, beginninglessness and endlessness, which is unconditional and unlimited peace and contentment...

There are many different elements or qualities that are influencing or determining the state of our mind. And all these elements or qualities can be cultivated, as well as can be eliminated... Sometimes when we don't relate any of these elements with how we feel, we will say it is the hormonal system controlling how we feel, or the normal or abnormal condition or function of the brains that is determining the states of mind. Sometimes we just feel depressed without any particular reasons, because certain part of the brains is not functioning properly as it is, where many mental health experts are still trying to figure out how to make correction to that type of abnormality in the brains that trigger depression... But know that the hormonal system is also influenced by the energy fields and the inputs that we feed the mind... And so, by influencing or changing the energy fields or filtering what types of inputs that we feed to the mind, through performing certain physical activities or yoga exercises, controlling the breath, controlling our food consumption, filtering what we read, watch and listen, choosing who we mix with, and etc, can help us to have certain control of how we (the mind) feel...

Even if the mind is suffering from depression that even the mental health doctor also can't do much, but to be under control via certain drugs medication, which is not great, but the mind can still be trained to be eradicating egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation, and learn to be aware of the state of depression without association towards the state of depression, or being over-powered by the state of depression that is also conditional, that is also selfless.
 

Usually our mind is in a mixture of these elements or qualities. That's why we feel confused (not sure about whether we are happy or unhappy) and keep swaying between the state of happiness and unhappiness unceasingly, or we are not being purely happy or unhappy... Sometimes we feel happy and some other times we feel unhappy. We can't really tell or distinguish whether we are happy or unhappy people. But that's not important. There's no need to categorizing ourselves as happy or unhappy people. All are selfless and impermanent.

When qualities that give rise to good and happy feelings are predominant in the moment, then we can say that we have a rather "happy" state of mind in the present moment...

These qualities that give rise to good and happy feelings usually are (but not limited to) positive thinking, optimism, patience, tolerance, acceptance, adaptation, adjustment, accommodation, forgiveness, cheerfulness, loving kindness, friendliness, thoughtfulness, respect, self-discipline, self-control, empathy, confidence, faith, correct understanding, right views, calmness, non-offensiveness, non-defensiveness, good-wills, unselfishness, humility, forbearance, and etc... As all these qualities make our mind not so easily to be annoyed, disturbed, irritated, frustrated, disappointed, upset, angry, depressed, unhappy and any other unpleasant states of mind, whenever the mind comes in contact with the objects of the senses that the mind doesn't like, doesn't want and disagrees with, or when our mind doesn't come in contact with the objects of the senses that the mind likes, wants and agrees with.

When qualities that give rise to bad and unhappy feelings are predominant in the moment, then we can say that we have a rather "unhappy" state of mind in the present moment...

The qualities that give rise to bad and unhappy feelings usually are (but not limited to) negative thinking, pessimism, impatience, intolerance, non-acceptance, non-adaptation, non-adjustment, non-accommodation, resentment, anger, hatred, animosity, greed, jealousy, pride, arrogance, impulsiveness, apathy, low self-esteem, faithlessness, incorrect understanding, wrong views, aggressiveness, offensiveness, defensiveness, ill-wills, selfishness, and etc... As all these qualities make our mind easily to be annoyed, disturbed, irritated, frustrated, disappointed, upset, angry, depressed, unhappy and any other unpleasant states of mind, whenever our mind comes in contact with the objects of the senses that the mind doesn't like, doesn't want and disagree with, or when the mind doesn't come in contact with the objects of the senses that the mind likes, wants and agrees with.

Our personalities, behavior, actions and reactions, feelings and emotions are reflected upon the presence and absence of all these elements or qualities in our mind in the present moment...

It also depends on how strong is the attachment and identification towards the selfless restless modification of the mind, the intellect, or the ego, or attachment and identification towards all the beliefs, educational, religious, cultural, social and family background that make up this "I", that determining or influencing us whether our mind will easily be happy or be unhappy...

A person who was very calm and happy can suddenly become very agitated or disturbed. A person who was agitated or disturbed can suddenly become very calm and happy. This is all due to the nature of fluctuation of the different impermanent qualities occupying the modification of the mind...

Usually when we get the things that we agree with, that we like and want, we (our mind) will feel good and happy... And when we don't get the things that we agree with, that we like and want, we (our mind) will feel bad and unhappy... When we get the things that we disagree with, that we don't like and don't want, we (our mind) will feel bad and unhappy... And when we don't get the things that we disagree with, that we don't like and don't want, we (our mind) will feel good and happy...

It is about what our mind likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want, agreements and disagreements... It is not because of the things that we come in contact with are "good" or "not good"... As everyone has different points of views and categorizations about what is "good" and what is "not good"... And so, if we ever feel unhappy about something, it is because our mind doesn't like and doesn't want or disagree with the things and happenings that we come in contact with. It is not the things and happenings that make us unhappy. Like wise, if we ever feel happy about something, it is because our mind likes and wants, or agree with the things and happenings that we come in contact with. It is not the things and happenings that make us happy.

All these things and happenings have no qualities or intentions to make anyone happy or unhappy. For the same thing and same happening, some people will feel happy, but some other people will feel unhappy...

If we truly want to have sustainable happiness that lasts longer, we need to work with reducing, minimizing or eliminating the qualities that give rise to bad and unhappy feelings, and increase, maximize or cultivate the qualities that give rise to good and happy feelings... As well as working on letting go of craving and clinging towards what we like and agree with, and letting go of aversion towards what we don't like and disagree with, that will eventually lead us to realize unconditional peace that is always there, unconditional and unlimited...

And this practice is about letting go of the ego, or the idea of 'I', as likes and dislikes, wants and don't wants, agreements and disagreements, are all coming from the ego...

If we have a mind occupying with lots of elements or qualities that contribute to good and happy feelings, then we can say that, we are happy people with happy personality and behavior. But this won't guarantee us pure and lasting happiness if we are still influenced by the qualities that give rise to bad and unhappy feelings that are existing in the mind together with the qualities that contribute good and happy feelings... And so, it is very important to try to eliminate all the qualities that give rise to bad and unhappy feelings.

Ultimately, if we know how to let go of the idea of 'I', void of identification with the selfless impermanent modification of the mind, then all these qualities are just qualities, they have no value or power to determine or influence us to be happy, or not... There's no need to hold onto, or identify with, or associate with, or attached onto all these good and bad feelings that keep arising and passing away, as their nature is also selfless and impermanent... It is just the mind being happy or unhappy being influenced or determined by all these qualities in this moment, it is not "I", it is not "me"... There is no "I" or "me" being there experiencing all these impermanent feelings, but there's a selfless awareness that is aware of the mind is experiencing all these impermanent feelings and emotions... And this selfless awareness is a silent witness or observer... It is unaffected, undisturbed, undetermined, uninfluenced, uncontaminated by all the impermanent modifications of the mind about good or bad, happiness or unhappiness, positive or negative, meaningful or meaningless...

But before we are able to be completely be free from the idea of 'I', as long as there is still an idea of 'I' identifying with the modification of the mind, as "I" or "me", and thinking that "I" am experiencing all these feelings and emotions, then we can work on countering negativities with positivities, or eliminating the "negative", "bad" and "unhappy" elements or qualities from the mind, and replace with "positive", "good" and "happy" elements or qualities... And be a happier person with a happier mind. Or else we can still be happy with ourselves for being an unhappy person with an unhappy mind, that is impermanent... Or, allowing and accepting ourselves (the mind) to be happy sometimes and be unhappy some other times... All are impermanent.

Most important is that we are aware of all these good and bad feelings, and accept ourselves (the mind under the idea of 'I') as we are, and have control over our actions and speech, so that we do not generate or inflict harmful, hurtful or disharmonious actions and speech unto other people or beings that we come in contact with, especially when our mind is in a disturbed or unhappy state of mind...

Sometimes when our mind is over-powered by impurities or qualities that are "unpleasant", we are not happy, we might intentionally do or say something that will irritate or hurt some other people to feel better, good and excited, as that will make our ego feels strong and powerful by bullying other people or beings, by inflicting painful sorrow onto other beings physically or mentally, to get some sort of superiority, control, satisfaction, excitement, stimulation, or happy sensations... And sometimes we like the sensations that come from being angry and jealous. It gives the mind some sorts of stimulation or excitement... We enjoy being in a state of anger and jealousy. It makes our mind feels stimulated. We constantly looking for contradictions and arguments with other people to excite or stimulate our mind... Especially when we "think" we win over the arguments, it's really empowering our ego, to feel "I" am strong, "I" am superior, "I" am in control... Most of the time, it isn't because we are right and intelligent, and other people don't want to argue with us and let us "win", but it is actually other people being emotionally matured and are wiser than us, and don't need this kind of mind games to boost their egos, to feel strong, to feel superior, to be in control of anything...

If that is the case, we really need to seek consultations from somebody who doesn't need to depend on hurting or harming other beings to be happy, who is self-controlled and is happy as he is or as she is... Or else, when we are totally or completely over-powered by this type of behavior, we can't control our own behavior anymore, then we might have to end up in mental institution or psychiatric hospital, and be controlled by drugs, and this will be wasting our life time and life existence to have the opportunity to do so many wonderful things for ourselves and other beings... 

 

In the beginning, we are behaving like this is because out of ignorance and egoism, we want to be strong and superior, we want to have control over things or other people, we want to be the one in control of everything, but we end up losing control over ourselves (our mind), our sanity, our strength and ability to be "what we want to be"... What a destructive way to try to gain superiority, control and power...

Om shanti.

Non-comparison, non-judgment and non-expectation?

We may hear about somebody complains about this or that teacher is not good, or this or that school is not good, or this type or that type of yoga is not good... But it is actually our mind is not pure, full of negativities, defects, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements... That's why we see or recognize all the negativities and defects in other people or in things, as that is the reflection of what our mind is...

If there is a quality that our mind cannot perceive or recognize, that is because in our mind there is no such quality. Just like when we couldn't see or recognize the good qualities in other people, it's because there is no such good qualities in our own mind to reflect upon... It doesn't mean that these people don't have good qualities in them but we just don't see it or recognize it... And usually our mind is having a mixture of good and bad qualities, and thus we will see or recognize the same qualities in other people but not something that is beyond what our mind can perceive...

And we judge everything according to what our mind likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, as good or not good... If it is something what our mind likes and agrees with, we will say it is good... If it is something what our mind doesn't like and disagree with, we will say it is not good... But this judgment of "good" and "bad" is coming from our mind according to what our mind believes what is "good" or "bad"... It is not what things really are...

For example, we ate "particular food" for the first time, and it tastes what we don't like, and that was what our mind recognized or perceived - "That particular food is not good", "It's not tasty", "I am not happy eating it", and "I don't like it"... When other people say to us, "That particular food is so good", "It's so tasty", "I am so happy eating it" and "I like it", as it tastes what they like, and we (our mind) will disagree with that. We might even argue with people to prove that our opinion is right and their opinion is wrong... But that particular food has no intentions or qualities to be good or not, to be tasty or not, to make us feel happy eating it or not, to make us like it or not... All these judgments are coming from what our mind believes what things are, according to our likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, but it is not what things really are...

We can only be aware of all the different qualities in each person, and accept everyone as they are without comparison, judgment and expectation, as everyone is also in the process of learning and transformation... We also be aware of all the different qualities in ourselves, and accept ourselves as we are without comparison, judgment and expectation, as ourselves are also in the process of learning and transformation... And if we are already pure and perfect, there won't be any judgments towards anyone, nor comparing everyone, nor expecting everyone should be behaving, act and react in certain ways that we think that is what they suppose to behave, act and react... With the pure mind, all the qualities of names and forms disappear. The pure mind will perceive and accept everyone and everything as they are... They are not good or bad. They are not positive or negative. They are not happiness or suffering... They are just what they are.

When we see or attached to the different qualities of names and forms, we will start to have comparison and judgment about this person or that person is better or worst, and start to generate preferences and discrimination, likes and dislikes, and craving and aversion... Due to strong attachment toward all these judgments towards the different qualities of names and forms, the veil of ignorance in our mind is growing thicker and thicker... Our own evolution becomes more and more difficult, as the veil of ignorance is growing stronger than before... Why be disturbed and be bothered by other people being different from each other or being different from us, or expecting all of them to be the same, or to be like us, to determine, or to control, or to influence our own practice and evolution?

We respect and accept everyone to be free to think and believe what they want to think and believe, to behave, to act and react the way that they want to behave, act and react... And allow everyone to be different with one another, and be different from us. Why do we want to control other people or to change other people to think and believe, to behave, to act and react the same ways like us? Meanwhile we are full of aversion, rejection, anger and hatred if other people don't like us the way that we are, and they want to control us or to change us to be the way that they think we should think, believe, behave, act and react...?

When we think we are good people, we do good things and don't do bad things... We judge ourselves as "good beings". And we criticize and judge other people whom we think they are not good like us, they don't do good things like us, and they do bad things, as "bad beings"... We think we are more superior than them, and we are better human beings... We get angry and hating these people, and we don't like them and don't want them to be here in this world, or we want to control them and change them to be the way that we want them to be... We think we deserve to be here and all these "bad beings" don't deserve to be here... We want to kill them all or we want them to be killed by somebody, and we curse and condemn them into hell... CAN we see now, how evil and selfish we are? We are not any different from these people whom we think they are bad and evil...

For example, alcohol exists for some medical reasons. When somebody abuse the use of alcohol and cause damages in their physical and mental health, it is not the fault of the alcohol... It is not the alcohol being bad... It is people's own responsibility for abuse the use of alcohol and to consume it to the point that causes damages to themselves... Alcohol itself is not something good or not good... It has no quality or intention to be good or bad... It is whether we use it wisely or abusively, and reflect it as something good for medical reason, or reflect it as something not good for damaging our body and mind... It is our own intention and self-control that is responsible for our own behavior and the consequences of our behavior...

Even though there are many people practice yoga and meditation in the world, but everyone evolves on different levels and speeds. We cannot expect everyone has the same understanding and practice, and having the same way of thinking and behavior, actions and reactions, even though everyone is practicing "yoga and meditation", or is practicing different types of "yoga and meditation" practice. Everyone has different degrees of ignorance and realization, different degrees of attachment, craving and aversion, and different strength of the egoism... Even though in the same Ashram or school of yoga, not everyone who involves in the teaching, administrative and management will be having the same characteristic and personality, actions and reactions...

Our practice is our own effort and for our own transformation, it is nothing to do with other people's practice and transformation... It doesn't matter if the teacher is not perfect nor completely pure yet, but it should not be an obstacle or distraction to influence or affect our own practice, nor stop us from performing our own practice and evolves on own level and speed. As the path of realization of truth is very personal. It is nothing to do with the quality of the teacher or the school...

Just like some people look at some "yogis" who are behaving "badly" in the world, and they judge and criticize "yoga" or "yoga practice" as something not good or evil, that it will make people behaving badly like all these "bad yogis"... Or they blame and judge the teacher of the "bad yogis" as bad teacher and is responsible for the "bad yogis" bad behavior... Or they judge the yoga schools where these "bad yogis" went to as bad schools... But this is complete ignorant way of seeing things and judging things... The "bad yogis" themselves is responsible for their own behavior...

People who learn under the same teacher or same school, also will have different levels of understanding, different degrees of ignorance and realization, different types of characteristic and personality, different degrees of attachment, different speed of evolution and etc... And all these different levels and degrees of transformation is nothing to do with the teacher or the school... Our own understanding, perception of things, degrees of ignorance and attachment, actions and reactions, characteristics and personalities, and speed of transformation is our own responsibility, it's not the responsibility of the teacher or the school...

Even if we are aware of the imperfect or impure qualities in the teachers, that should not become obstacles or distractions in our own evolution... At the same time we ourselves accept the teacher as he is or as she is, without expecting the teacher should be perfect or should be on a higher level of understanding or transformation than us... As real teachers can be anyone and anything, not necessarily has to be a perfect saint or sage who is completely free from the ego, or who is completely selfless... The teacher or the happening is there to allow us to see or recognize the ignorance, impurities or selfishness in ourselves, and it's not about seeing and recognizing the ignorance, impurities or selfishness in the teacher or in the happening, and be disturbed and affected by them...

A very good teacher or good school cannot guarantee all the students will be having the same degree of ignorance and realization, and evolve at the same speed of transformation... Buddha couldn't make everyone be enlightened and be free from ignorance, nor could he give peace to anyone, nor could he remove suffering from anyone... As well as the ignorance, restlessness and suffering of everyone could not affect Buddha's enlightenment, liberation and peace...

Everyone has the opportunity and should be given the opportunity to experience what they need to experience for them to learn and evolve in their own way and speed... Even though if they have to repeatedly go through many unnecessary meaningless unpleasant experiences... They have to learn from themselves and realize the truth by themselves. And through out the journey of transformation, there's no judgment, comparison and expectation towards ourselves and other people even if they are our teachers... The teachers have their own evolution, and we have our own evolution...

If we haven't realize the truth by ourselves, then no matter how many books talking about the truth that we have read, how many yoga classes and courses that we have attended, and how many good teachers that we have, we will still be influenced by the veil of ignorance in us and be disturbed by the impurities in our own mind, and be in miseries...

We read or heard about the terms about "being in the present moment" and the ways to be in the present moment, but it won't liberate us until we know how to be in the present moment...

When we think we are disappointed by the teachers who are not as perfect as what we think they should be, actually we are disappointed by our own expectation towards the teachers, we expect them to be perfect... The disappointment is not coming from the teachers being imperfect... They and their imperfection didn't disappoint us.

Mind our own mind, not other people's mind, not even our teacher's mind...

Om shanti.