If self-esteem is so fragile and easily be offended and hurt, why still keep it?

Self-esteem is the shadow of the idea of 'I', or the ego.

It doesn't exist, upon the annihilation of the idea of 'I' from the selfless mind.

It cannot exist under the presence of wisdom, void of ignorance and egoism.

Since it is not something real that can exist independently and permanently, and it is so fragile, while giving so much unnecessary mental and emotional disturbance to oneself and maybe some others that oneself comes in contact with, then why does one still wants to keep it?

None need the presence of self-esteem to be living happily and healthily, and keep improving in life.

None need to be developing, maintaining, empowering and constantly protecting that super fragile easily be offended, hurt and broken self-esteem.

Let it go, and be free.

"How to let go the self-esteem?"

"Give me your self-esteem, I'll throw it away for you."

"Where can I find it and how can I give it you?"

"That's right. You can't find it anywhere, because you can't see it, touch it, grab it, or throw it away, because it doesn't really exist. But then how come you believe so strongly in that, and rely on that, to live life, to be what you are and what you want to do?"

Similarly, there are so many things that doesn't really exist, but the mind is still strongly believe in that, rely on that, and be determined by that, giving so much unnecessary trouble or suffering to oneself and everyone else that oneself comes in contact with, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Self-worth and self-esteem

Self-worth and self-esteem have no place in the mind that is void of the idea of 'I'. It doesn't exist in the mind that is void of ignorance and egoism.

It's only due to the presence of ignorance and egoism, the minds think and believe that all and everyone needs to develop and empower the sense of self-worth or self-esteem by developing, possessing and empowering certain agreeable qualities in oneself, and being somebody with certain qualities that all and everyone desire and admire, while constantly being protective towards guarding that fragile sense of self-worth and self-esteem to be maintaining at certain desirable level, to feel good, happy, positive, confident and meaningful towards oneself and one's life existence.

"I am beautiful!"

"I am strong!"

"I am positive!"

"I am powerful!"

"I am loved!"

"I deserve all love and happiness!"

"I can be anything and achieve everything that I desire!"

The minds that are under the influence of the idea of 'I', egoism and ignorance, they cannot understand that there is no need to have the existence of the sense of self-esteem or self-worth at all in anyone to live life, to perform actions, to carryout duty and responsibility, to be constantly improving, to be making a living, to have healthy relationship with all and everyone, to be happy and peaceful in this selfless impermanent life existence that is fleeting away.

In fact, the existence of the easily broken sense of self-worth and self-esteem in the mind that needed to be protected and maintained restlessly, is the main culprit that give rise to so much unnecessary mental and emotional problem in the mind that give rise to family, relationship and social problems in many people.

One doesn't need to be anything or everything.

One just needs to be free from the idea of 'I' and egoism and ignorance.

One will know what is unconditional peace and happiness or unbreakable selfless confidence that doesn't need to be protected and maintained.

Inquire the truth of everything.

The sense of pride and shame exists for one another

Under the veil of ignorance and egoism, based on certain worldly passionate egoistic thinking, belief, values and practice, the mind thinks, believes, judges and feels towards certain qualities, possessions and identities as either 'pride deserving' or 'shame deserving'.

The mind that is free from ignorance and egoism, there's no such thinking, belief, judgment and feeling towards any qualities of names and forms.

Most of the social cultural or religious teachings, beliefs, values and practice in the world deriving from the minds under the veil of ignorance and egoism, is about human beings and their behaviors need to be controlled or regulated by the sense of pride towards the presence of certain 'pride deserving' qualities, possessions and identities or upon the absence of certain 'shame deserving' qualities, possessions and identities, as well as the sense of shame towards the presence of certain 'shame deserving' qualities, possessions and identities or upon the absence of certain 'pride deserving' qualities, possessions and identities.

Many minds have great difficulty towards understanding that they don't need to be conditioned by the sense of pride and shame at all. None need to be 'good' or 'good enough', where they need to have many 'pride deserving' qualities, possessions and identities, and don't have any 'shame deserving' qualities, possessions or identities, either coming from one's own expectation and judgment towards oneself and others, or coming from others' expectation and judgment towards oneself and others.

People would think and believe that the sense of shame will stop human beings from having something and behaving in the way that is 'shame deserving' according to their particular thinking, belief, values and practice. Not really.

People would think and believe that the sense of pride will motivate human beings for achieving something and behaving in the way that is 'pride deserving' according to their particular thinking, belief, values and practice. Not really.

More importantly, is that what certain thinking, belief, values and practice judging and labeling as 'pride deserving' are not necessarily something beneficial for the over-all well-being of all and everyone non-discriminatively. While what certain thinking, belief, values and practice judging and labeling as 'shame deserving' are not necessarily something bad or wrong at all.

Meanwhile the sense of pride and shame is hindering or even destroying the mental clarity and correct understanding, where many people are suffering from certain degrees of mental illness or having issue with self-esteem that affect their interactions and relationships with others, as well as gives rise to the existence of discrimination and hatred in the world, due to the sense of pride and shame. People are hurting themselves and/or others violently and cruelly because of that. The minds are not free, being conditioned by feeling good or bad about oneself and/or others, which doesn't help oneself to evolve towards liberation from ignorance and egoism, or doesn't help the world to be a better place, even when oneself tries to do good and be good (enough), according to certain worldly thinking, belief, values and practice, being influenced by the sense of pride and shame.

Without the sense of pride, there's no sense of shame, and vice versa.

The sense of pride is the shadow of the sense of shame, and vice versa.

The mind that is being conditioned by the sense of pride and shame will also be perceiving and judging all and everything under the perspective conditioned by that sense of pride and shame.

It's the presence or absence of ignorance and egoism in the minds, that is influencing the thinking, desires, intentions, actions and behaviors of human beings.

Without the sense of pride and shame, it doesn't mean that one will be performing action or inaction that will be harming oneself and/or others, or won't be performing action or inaction that will be benefiting the over-all well-being of all and everyone, non-discriminatively and unconditionally.

If one really wants to help the world to be a better place, for now, and for the next generations, then one must be free from the sense of pride and shame, as well as stop instilling and empowering the sense of pride and shame in the younger generations, so that they don't grow up keep hurting themselves and/or others out of the sense of pride and shame.

Once the mind is free from the sense of pride and shame, all the other sense of goodness/badness, positiveness/negativeness, righteousness/wrongfulness, meaningfulness/meaninglessness, or joyfulness/sorrowfulness, will also drop off from the mind. All kinds of craving and aversion also will drop off. All kinds of suffering deriving from the perception of duality or the sense of separateness will also drop off. That's liberation.

Inquire the truth of everything.

The minds that would be offended by this teaching, or judging this teaching as something 'wrong' or 'negative', as it is contradicting with their particular social cultural or religious thinking, belief, values and practice, where they strongly believe in humans need to be controlled under the sense of shame and one should be receiving condemn and painful punishment for something shameful, that's their freedom of thinking and reaction. They don't have to practice yoga.

For sincere yoga practitioners, this is one of the subjects for self-inquiry, especially for the minds that still have many doubts, that are still being determined and disturbed by the mind perception of selfless impermanent qualities of names and forms unwittingly, even after many years of performing some kind of yoga and meditation practice regularly, or trying to live a life of positive thinking, pure intention, good conduct, healthy living and clean eating.

What makes a person truly confident?

Many people would think and believe that the higher education, knowledge, physical and mental ability, experience, qualification, title, living standard, health condition, fitness level, wealth, success, achievement and contribution that one has, and the more love, liking, agreement, acknowledgment, acceptance, appreciation, accreditation, recognition, approval, respect, praise and compliment received from other human beings from the family, the friends circle, the social network, the community and the society, or from certain organization and authority, that worth being proud of by oneself and others, then the higher the confidence will be.

People are being advised, or coached, or brought up in the way that in order to empower or boost their sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness, people need to work on developing, equipping, attaining, possessing, accumulating and empowering all these names and forms in themselves that worth being proud of. People would then be acknowledged, accredited, praised and complimented for every single 'development', 'improvement' or 'achievement' in all those names and forms, regardless of big or small, to let people think and feel that "I know something", "I can do something", "I can achieve something", "I can give and contribute", "I worth something", "I deserve something", "I am good", "I am good enough", "I am beautiful", "I am strong", "I am useful", "I am meaningful", "I am loved and appreciated", "I am proud of myself", "People are proud of me", and so on, which would 'empower' people's sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness and meaningfulness.

But that sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness that built on any impermanent and selfless qualities of names and forms is not real. It's subject to selfless impermanent changes. That's why people can still be experiencing/perceiving/suffering from different kinds of mental and emotional suffering even after attended many different types of empowerment workshops that empowers all these names and forms, that have been helping them on achieving higher education, knowledge, physical and mental ability, experience, qualification, title, living standard, health condition, fitness level, wealth, success, achievement and contribution, and they have been receiving certain amount of liking, agreement, acknowledgment, acceptance, appreciation, accreditation, recognition, approval, respect, praise and compliment from other human beings, especially when all these names and forms start to change into something else, that is no longer available or being the way that they desire it to be.

People would be in painful suffering when the function of the physical body and the thinking faculty starts to deteriorate, when they loose their memory, physical and mental ability, health, fitness, wealth, job, carreer, business, beloved family, relationship, friendship, or companionship, and etc.

The real confidence is beyond qualities, names and forms that are subject to impermanence and selflessness. The real confidence is when 'confidence', 'self-esteem', 'self-worth', 'satisfaction', 'purposefulness' and 'meaningfulness' are not needed to be existing in life existence, when people are no longer being determined or valued by any of all these impermanent qualities of names and forms to be 'who I am', to be proud of, or not, and to be happy, or not.

One can be highly successful in all pursues, but one is not being determined by all those names and forms, as well as there's no fear of losing all those names and forms that generate all kinds of success to oneself.

Those who know this, they are aware of and acknowledging all the physical and mental ability and disability or limitation, what the mind knows and doesn't know, where they can make use of the limited ability and knowledge to be doing something in this world, or not, while they can also work on improving/expanding their limited ability and knowledge, or not, but they are not being determined by all these impermanent and selfless qualities of names and forms to be who they are. They are fine as they are, and they know it's impermanent, and they are fine with all the impermanent changes, as they are. They don't need to develop or empower the sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness to be 'Somebody that I and other people be proud of', as they know all these names and forms are nothing but the by-products of ignorance and egoism deriving from the worldly ignorant egoistic minds that built on worldly egoistic social/cultural/religious/spiritual/commercial/political/educational thinking, belief, values and practice.

The life existence and function of this impermanent and selfless physical body and the thinking faculty needs to be maintained by sufficient energy and the elements of heat, water, air, nutrients, minerals, the earth, and the space for living/resting. They don't need to be maintained by ignorant egoistic passionate ideas/creations/desires/aspiration/inspiration born out of ignorance and egoism. One can live life as one is, without being determined or valued by the presence and absence of the sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness that need to be maintained at a certain level, restlessly. What is success, what is failure, what is meaningful, what is meaningless, what is pride deserving, what is shame deserving, it means nothing to the impermanent selfless body and thinking mind.

There's no fear of losing the qualities and names and forms that make oneself and others feel proud of, that give rise to the sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness, as it doesn't exist in them. There's no craving towards liking, agreement, acknowledgment, acceptance, appreciation, accreditation, recognition, approval, respect, praise and compliment from anyone. There's no aversion towards the absence of liking, agreement, acknowledgment, acceptance, appreciation, accreditation, recognition, approval, respect, praise and compliment from some others. There's absence of insult, offensiveness, defensiveness, disrespectfulness, belittling, loneliness, worthlessness, unloved, or left out.

Those who don't know this, they always live in fear of losing something that give rise to the sense of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, satisfaction, purposefulness or meaningfulness in them. There's craving and aversion towards the presence and absence of liking, agreement, acknowledgment, acceptance, appreciation, accreditation, recognition, approval, respect, praise and compliment from some others. There's presence of insult, offensiveness, defensiveness, disrespectfulness, belittling, loneliness, worthlessness, unloved and left out.

Those who are not being determined by any qualities of names and forms to be confident, or not, they might not know everything, they might not know how to do many things, and they might not speak many different languages, but they are not determined by all kinds of limitations that disallow them to do certain things, instead, they know how to make use of what they know, what they can do, and what language that they know, to be doing something or achieving something that is within their ability, without being determined by the limitations or what they don't know and can't do or achieve, without being determined by the outcome or the result of their actions being what it is, may it be highly successful, or little bit successful, or completely failure.

Inquire the truth of everything, and be free.

Eliminate the ego by letting go self-esteem that fed on egoism

Self-esteem and the ego is the two sides of a coin.

This delusive existence of the non-existing 'coin' born out of ignorance and egoism, is being fed, maintained and empowered by egoism and ignorance, and vice versa, where egoism and ignorance is being fed, maintained and empowered by the delusive existence of this 'coin'.

It attaches onto and identifies with qualities of names and forms to be existing and be identifying as this is 'I'.

By getting rid of self-esteem, is indeed eliminating the ego. To eliminate this 'coin', the mind needs to know what it is, and stops feeding it.

The ego feels superior, self-important, existence/love/respect deserving, proud and arrogant, high confident, useful, worthy and meaningful when the self-esteem is on a high level.

"I know something. I can do something. I achieve something. I am needed by some others. I can give and contribute to some others. I am loved, acknowledged and appreciated by some others. I am superior. My existence is useful, meaningful and deserving."

The ego feels inferior, non-important, existence/love/respect undeserving, low confident, useless, worthless and meaningless when the self-esteem in on a low level.

"I don't know much. I can't do much. I can't achieve something. I am not needed by some others. I can't give and contribute to some others. I am unloved, unacknowledged and unappreciated by some others. I am inferior. My existence is useless, meaningless and undeserving."

It's not about restlessly balancing the level of self-esteem, so that the ego can be maintaining at a 'just right' position influenced by a not too high and not too low level of self-esteem.

The modification of the mind can be free from such unnecessary suffering of restlessness due to attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation towards the presence and absence/possession and non-possession of different qualities of names and forms, to be determined as this is 'I', where there is no 'I' existing in all and everything.

It's about letting go the self-esteem that was being developed under the influence of worldly egoistic social/cultural/educational/religious/spiritual/political/commercial thinking, belief, values and practice, that fed on egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation towards the qualities of names and forms, where self-esteem doesn't need to be there at all, that determine the 'unnecessary value of existence' of a delusive existence of a non-existing 'I', as 'good', 'good enough' or 'not good enough', which influences the state of the mind, that influences the actions/reactions and the consequences of actions/reactions, which affects all and everything that the mind comes in contact with.

The existence of an impermanent selfless decaying physical body with the function of a selfless perceptive intellectual thinking mind that is subject to selfless impermanent changes influenced by the law of nature, doesn't need to be 'determined' by a delusive existence of a non-existing 'I', that is being determined by the egoism of attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation towards qualities of names and forms that are all subject to impermanence and selflessness, that are being determined and empowered by the worldly egoistic social/cultural/educational/religious/spiritual/political/commercial thinking, belief, values and practice.

Any kind of 'empowerment ideas and workshops' targeting on any type of empowerment in the world in order to develop and boost the sense of self-esteem, self-importance, pride, worthiness, usefulness, meaningfulness, superiority and existence/love/respect deserving in the minds, is indeed deriving from ignorance and egoism, as well as empowering the ignorance and egoism.

The selfless minds don't need to be empowered. There is no 'existence of an individual being' that needs to be empowered. The selfless mind doesn't need to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, to feel confident, to feel proud, to feel deserving, to feel meaningful, to feel useful, to feel worthy, to feel existing. It doesn't need to be 'connected' with 'all the others', as it's never separated from all and everything that exist under the manifestation of Maya, to be inter-supporting and inter-affecting one another.

It's the delusive existence of a non-existing 'I' that looks forward to be empowered, to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, to feel confident, to feel proud, to feel deserving, to feel meaningful, to feel useful, to feel worthy, to feel existing, to be 'connected' with one another.

This delusive existence of a non-existing 'I' is the one that suffering from all kinds of mental and emotional suffering when it doesn't get the empowerment, love, acknowledgment, appreciation, confidence, pride, deserving treatment/result, the sense of meaningfulness, usefulness, worthiness and existence, and connection/connectivity that it needs, to be existing as this is 'I'.

It's about the selfless modification of the mind that is 'ignorantly' being influenced by ignorant egoistic worldly thinking, belief, values and practice needs to be free from being influenced by ignorant egoistic worldly thinking, belief, values and practice. That's all.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Self-esteem that doesn't need to be there at all

Regardless of the many different geographical, nationality, ancestry, ethnical, cultural, religious and social backgrounds in the world, most people have one thing in common, that is about developing and empowering self-esteem, or in other terms, self-worth, or confidence, or pride.

Self-esteem is nothing but the by-products of ignorance and egoism, and is being empowered by ignorant egoistic attachment and identification towards the quality of names and forms that is subject to impermanence and selflessness.

Similarly, the existence of all kinds of nationality, culture, religion and social class in the world are also the by-products of ignorance and egoism, and are being empowered by egoistic attachment and identification towards certain qualities of name and form, that generate separateness and discrimination which directly lead to so much unnecessary humanity problems, that also directly and indirectly relate to various degrees of psychological mental and emotional suffering in many people.

Almost everyone are being brought up in their family, their schools, their work place and the society in the way of developing and empowering the sense of self-esteem, self-worth, confidence or pride that built on certain quality of names and forms that is being recognized by their particular thinking, belief, values and practice about what is existence deserving, love deserving, acceptance deserving, success deserving, happiness deserving, praise deserving, respect deserving and pride deserving. If people don't attain or possess those quality of names and forms, then they think and believe that they or other people are not good enough for being what they are, as they are.

Many people are more or less being determined and affected by the sense of self-esteem. Or, many people are suffering from self-esteem problem that affecting themselves and their life, behavior, study, work and relationship with everyone and everything. Some people even hurt themselves due to being disturbed by the sense of self-esteem that they were told to develop in certain way, but didn't turn out to be the way that they would like it to be.

People think and believe that in order to help those who would hurt themselves due to being disturbed by the sense of self-esteem is by empowering their self-esteem by helping them to build up a stronger self and group identity attaching and identifying with certain qualities of names and forms, by helping them to be equipped with certain 'good' quality and the ability to achieve certain achievement in order to allow them to see or realize something in them that are worthy for them to feel good, meaningful and proud of. But that doesn't really help, as it not just doesn't remove the root cause of such 'disturbs' which is ignorance and egoism, but it empowers the ignorance and egoism.

Self-esteem doesn't need to be existing at all in anyone for being existing and living in the world as a person in one's life existence or being part of the diverse community in the world globally.

Many personal psychological mental or emotional problems deriving from self-esteem are directly and indirectly contributing to the many unnecessary family, relationship and social problems in the world.

Everyone's life and well-being and the world is much better off without the need of the presence of self-esteem influencing everyone individually and socially.

Both low self-esteem and high self-esteem (pride) that built on certain quality of names and forms contribute equally to the many unnecessary problems in one's life and relationship with everyone.

Those who are free from being determined by the sense of self-esteem, self-worth, confidence and pride, being free from either low or high self-esteem, self-worth, confidence and pride, they are not being determined by any quality of names and forms to be who they are, to be peaceful and happy, or not. They are not being influenced, or manipulated, or 'controlled' by any particular political, national, ethnical, cultural, religious, or social thinking, belief, values and practice in the world. They are free from separateness and discrimination towards all and everything. They are peaceful as they are. They don't generate actions and reactions that hurt oneself and/or others in their personal life and in the world that derived from psychological mental and emotional problems.

Unfortunately, 'control freak' exists in the family (especially in parenting), in human relationships, in the schools, in the work place, in the society, and more importantly under any religion and country, to 'mould' and 'herd' people to be and not to be in certain ways, in order to gratify their personal or group ambition/desire/self-interest as well as to 'protect', 'empower' and 'sustain' their particular thinking, belief, values and practice.

Human beings are being told to inherit, adopt, nurture, empower, protect and sustain their personal and group identity of a particular family, ancestry, culture, ethnicity, birth place, community, society, social class, nationality and religious or spiritual belief and practice, and be prideful and protective towards their particular identity and their family, ancestry, culture, ethnicity, birth place, community, society, social class, nationality and religion or spirituality. That's where all kinds of separateness, discrimination, offensiveness, dissatisfaction, fear, anger, hatred, oppression, prejudice, unjust and violence in the world come from.

There are quite many people, especially those who think and believe that they are good, righteous, moral and superior people, who are being proud of themselves for discriminating against someone or something they dislike and disagree with, while there are also 'really good and kind' people who want to protest against all kinds of discrimination in the world, but they might not be aware of the root cause of 'discrimination'. Unwittingly, they are supporting and empowering the root cause of discrimination all the time in themselves, their family, their school, their work place and in their society and country, while actively protesting against discrimination of any kind.

To stop all kinds of discrimination in the world efficiently can only be achieved by removing the root cause of discrimination, that is ignorance and egoism, and all the by-products of ignorance and egoism, such like self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, pride, nationalism, patriotism, authoritarianism, ethicalism, religionism, and etc. While the empowerment of these names and forms is nothing but fueling discrimination in the world.

People don't just discriminate all the others, but they also discriminate themselves due to the presence and absence of certain qualities in themselves that they like and dislike, agree and disagree with, desire and don't desire. People were being brought up and empowered in the way to have high expectation towards themselves, which also leads towards having certain expectation towards other people in their family, relationship, community and the world to be or not to be in certain way. Most people think and believe that that is the right way to be successful, happy and meaningful. That's their freedom of thinking and belief. And the world is under the influence of such thinking and belief, and being what it is.

The teachings and practice of yoga and Buddhism is mainly to free one's mind from such ignorance and egoism by letting go or abandoning all kinds of personal and group identity and attachment, for realizing unconditional non-discriminative compassion which leads to individual peace that contributes to universal world peace.

If the human or non-human beings in the world are suffering and living in fear under the presence of discrimination, anger, hatred and violence under the intention of ‘protecting’ and ‘upholding’ any particular teachings and belief with certain names and forms that different people attaching onto and identifying with as who they are, where their self-esteem, self-worth, confidence and pride built from, that supposedly ‘preached’ about peace and harmony and loving kindness, but then the human leaders of that particular teachings and belief encourage the believers, or followers, or practitioners to be violent and hurtful against anything and anyone that they recognized as ‘intimidation’, ‘insult’, ‘belittling’, ‘offensiveness’, or ‘disrespectfulness’ towards their particular teachings and belief, then it doesn’t really serve any purpose of promoting and upholding universal peace and harmony and loving kindness in the world at all.

Everyone claim that their religion and culture is the religion and culture of love, peace and kindness. How true is that, when there are constant egoistic violent and hurtful actions and reactions towards what they dislike, disagree with and don’t want.

Unfortunately, deep ignorance and egoism hinder the minds from reasoning and inquiring towards the truth of everything.

Such violent and hurtful actions and reactions also exist in those who think and believe that they are the practitioners of yoga or Buddhism. That is the power of ignorance.

Ignorance exists in all and everyone, unless someone starts to be aware of it and do something about it.

It's not the fault of any religion or culture or belief and practice, if human beings are behaving ignorantly out of ignorance and egoism. But, it shows that whether human beings have a religion, culture, belief and practice, or not, or what type of religion, culture, belief and practice people have, it's not important at all. It's about whether human minds are free or not free from ignorance and egoism. That is a universal teaching that applies to all and everyone, regardless of all the different qualities of names and forms that everyone attaching onto and identifying with.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Go beyond self-esteem and self-worth

For those who are not really interested in the path of yoga, they don't need to 'practice yoga'. People can just live everyday life as they are, don't need to do anything to purify the mind, to render the mind quiet, to free the mind from the influence of worldly egoistic ideas, thinking, belief, behavior, action and reaction, to free the mind from ignorance and the by-products of ignorance - egoism, impurities, restlessness and suffering.

People can continue being passionate towards improving the quality of a worldly life that mostly emphasize on the gratification of the desires of wants and don't wants.

From young to old, it's all about developing and enhancing the qualities of name and form that the thinking mind attached onto and identifies as 'I', to carry on or adopt a particular cultural/religious/spiritual belief and practice that influence the way of life, to be 'educated', to accumulate 'knowledge', 'skills' and 'qualifications', to empower a high self-esteem and self-worth that builds on personality, confidence, self-image, body image, charm and attractiveness, physical and mental ability and achievement, to be accumulating relationships and friendships, to broadening social networks, to establish a livelihood and a social/community life, to enjoy sights/sounds/tastes/smells/sensations/imagination, to aspire and be inspired, to fall in love, to find a life partner or some lovers, to reprocreate, to build a family, to enjoy easier and more comfortable life, to contribute to the society or the country or the world, to attain acknowledgement, recognition, support, praise and compliments, to attain 'success' in life, career and relationship, to attain the sense of existence, purpose, pride, happiness, joyfulness, blessedness, gladness and meaningfulness.

For those who sincerely want to practice yoga and realize yoga, then go beyond a worldly life that emphasizes on developing and enhancing 'self-esteem' and 'self-worth' that derived from ignorance and egoism that feed on worldly ideas, thinking, beliefs and practice.

The necessity or importance of developing and enhancing 'self-esteem', 'self-worth', 'confidence', 'self-image', 'body image', 'charm and attractiveness', 'physical and mental ability and achievement', 'the sense of existence/purpose/meaningfulness', and etc, are nothing but the play of ignorance and egoism.

The sense of self-esteem and self-worth that builds on the qualities of names and forms, such as "I know something", "I can do something", "I achieved something", "I am good", "I look good", "I feel good", "I am strong", "I am healthy", "I have family and friends", "I am contributing something", "I am acknowledged and supported", "My life/career/relationship is good and meaningful" and so on, is conditional and impermanent. It will break.

Yoga practitioners are supposed to eliminate the egoism and not empowering the egoism. It's the ego that needs to have a high self-esteem to achieve 'success' in life, career and relationship, to attain the sense of existence, acknowledgement, self-worth, confidence, purpose, or meaningfulness. And thus it performs actions out of intention and aspiration. It attached onto and identifies with its actions and the fruit of actions. It is being determined and bound by the actions and the fruit of actions.

For those who are aware of this, actions are being performed out of compassion, without the need/aspiration of 'developing' and 'enhancing' self-esteem to achieve 'success' in life, career and relationship, to attain the sense of existence, acknowledgement, self-worth, confidence, purpose, or meaningfulness. Though that is what most people including highly educated and intelligent minds strongly believe in and are practicing, and that's their freedom.

"Well done!"
"That's very good!"
"You should be proud of yourself!"
"I am so proud of you!"
Most people think and believe that all these words are very essential positive encouragement and acknowledgement towards somebody's achievement to enhance their self-esteem and self-worth, so that they will be motivated to strive harder to improve and be better, to attain continuous positive feedback and acknowledgement, to attain the sense of self-worth, accomplishment, purpose, meaningfulness. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Those who are free from ignorance and egoism don't need any 'positive words of encouragement or acknowledgement' from anyone to motivate them to perform actions that will benefit all and everyone, and are not disturbed or discouraged by any 'negative words of discouragement or non-acknowledgement' to be continuing performing actions that will benefit all and everyone.

'Yoga teachers' who truly teach yoga in the yoga class don't empower the egoism in the yoga students but to allow the students to develop correct understanding and direct experience towards the practice of yoga to eliminate the egoism.

By constantly giving the students 'positive words of encouragement' out of "good intention to encourage and motivate the students to be good, do good, to improve and be better" because the teacher thinks and believes that "the students who haven't developed non-craving and non-attachment would be discouraged or lack of motivation to be good and do good, or to improve in their practice, if the teacher doesn't give any 'positive words of encouragement' to the students", don't help to eliminate the egoism, but instead will only be empowering the egoism in the students. And if the students have already developed non-craving and non-attachment towards any kind of 'positive words of encouragements', then, 'positive words of encouragements' are needless in such yoga classes, as the students don't need to hear any 'positive words of encouragements' to motivate them to be good, do good and to improve, neither the students will be discouraged or lack of motivation to perform their practice, to be good, do good and to improve, if the teacher never give any form of 'positive words of encouragements.'

Be free.

Self-esteem and confidence

Any issues regarding self-esteem and confidence shouldn't and doesn't need to be existing at all. But due to ignorance and egoism, many people depend on self-esteem and confidence to be who they are, to be happy and feel meaningful, or not. Many people are suffering from mild to severe low self-esteem or low confidence that leads to the sense of meaninglessness and depression. Even many mental and psychological related studies and professionals also preach, think and believe that the development and empowerment of self-esteem and confidence is very important in life existence as human beings and it's the key to personal and global growth, success and happiness.

Real confidence has nothing to do with self-esteem or confidence that builds on physical appearance, condition, ability and achievement, or mental state, ability and achievement, or desirable and undesirable life experiences, or good and bad relationships with parents, family, friends and the rest of the world. It is beyond all these names and forms, when the mind has gone beyond the identification of what the mind thinks is ‘I’ and ‘my’, where this identification of ‘I’ and ‘my’ with the different qualities of names and forms is just a by-product of the worldly thinking and belief, or family, cultural, social and religious belief.

It's the ego that feels it has to be good enough for something, or for somebody, or for oneself. It also feels that it might be not good enough for something, or for somebody, or for oneself, based on what the thinking and belief recognize as 'good' and 'good enough', or what is 'self-esteem and confidence', 'success', 'happiness' and 'meaningfulness', and the relationship between them, where most people think and believe that 'high self-esteem and confidence' is related to 'success', and 'success' is related to 'happiness', while 'happiness' is related to 'meaningfulness'. And many people are suffering because of this thinking and belief or trying to live up to this thinking and belief for their entire life, and passing this thinking and belief from generation to generation.

It's the idea of 'I', or the ego, that needs to feel good about oneself, and wants other people to perceive oneself as good enough, and needs to attain or possess certain qualities of names and forms to be identifying with, that would make one feels good and proud of oneself and also would make other people feel good and proud of oneself, in order to be happy and live life meaningfully.

And all these qualities of names and forms are impermanent and there is no 'I' to be found in any of these names and forms, or to be in control of the impermanent changes, to be the way that 'I' like it to be. No matter how much influences we can influence the condition of the physical body and the state of the mind, to maintain the function and the life span of the body and the mind, the body and mind will still have to go through inevitable changes of decay, old age, discomfort, illness, weakness, ceased functioning, and decompose, or death.

Once the mind fully understood this, it will be free from the bondage of self-esteem and confidence. There's no 'I' being good or not good enough. There's neither high nor low self-esteem. There's neither high nor low confidence.

One doesn't need to be somebody with particular appearance, condition, ability or achievement, or have certain good and positive life experiences, or good relationships with anyone, in order to feel confident, happy, satisfied or meaningful.

One can have and appreciate all the attention, affection, support, agreement, acknowledgement, love or companionship that is available in the present, but one doesn't need other people's attention, affection, support, agreement, acknowledgement, love or companionship in order to feel confident, love, happy or meaningful. If all these qualities of names and forms are not available, one is still happy and peaceful as one is. One doesn't feel lack of something or missing out anything, or one is not good enough to deserve love, happiness and meaningfulness.

And that's real confidence. One doesn't need to be confident or satisfied about oneself at all. One doesn't need to feel proud of oneself, and doesn't need other people to feel proud of oneself, to be 'I', or the good 'I', the successful 'I', the happy 'I', the meaningful 'I'. One is happy and peaceful as one is, without any identification with any quality as 'I'.

There is no thinking or identification of "I am a good and kind human being. I want to do good and be kind and be able to contribute towards humanity." but goodness, kindness and contribution towards humanity are being manifested and performed through the body and mind out of wisdom and compassion.

If one doesn't know this, one will always looking for or craving for attaining and possessing certain qualities of names and forms that one would like to relate oneself with, to be identifying with, to feel good and satisfied about oneself, to boost up one's self-esteem and confidence to be who 'I' am, thinking that by attaining and possessing such qualities of names and forms will also make other people to give them the attention, affection, support, agreement, acknowledgement, love or companionship that they want from other people, in order to be happy and feel love and meaningful. But then one is not free. And that's one's freedom of thinking and action.

Be free.

Body image issue, where it shouldn't exist in the first place

In the areas where people are struggling everyday to attain the basic food and water resources to survive, to have a place to rest and be sheltered from harsh weather, to be free from hunger, thirst, exhaustion, discrimination, hatred, war and violence, there won't be such body image issue existing.

Meanwhile, in the modern commercialized society with higher technology and comfortable or fancy lifestyle, where economy and spending power is stable and strong, where basic and higher education came with various subjects and interests is accessible for everyone, where people have the luxury to indulge in physical and mental enjoyments of the senses of sights/visuals, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations and thoughts/ideas/creativity/imaginations, where food is easily and excessively available in various forms and tastes, where food has gone beyond being a basic necessity of life but becoming an enjoyment of taste, where water and electricity supply and various modern facilities are available easily, where clothing is no longer a basic material to keep warm and be protected from insects and cuts but plays as an important role for self-image and self-esteem, where people are being presented with different choices of lifestyle and leisure activities, where people are interested in promoting health, beauty and fitness, and put importance into personal and general hygiene, where people can travel easily from one place to another, where people can have dreams and ambitions to be fulfilled, where countless opportunities are available for everyone, but then ridiculously, many people are being troubled by body image issue, which is truly unnecessary.

It doesn't matter people are being knowledgeable, or intelligent, or talented and skillful in certain subjects, or highly educated, or having a successful career, or having a high profile in the community or society, or having a generous income and an easy comfortable high technology living standard, many people are being troubled very much by body image issue, unwittingly.

People's state of mind, the sense of meaningfulness, confidence, self-esteem, happiness and sense of self-worth and well-being are very much determined by the body image consists of facial features, skin condition, hair condition, physical appearance, body shape, body composition, physical condition, physical ability and achievement, that they like or dislike, satisfied or dissatisfied with, based on a particular standard that they set for themselves to comply to.

People get depressed when they think they have a body image issue, that they are dissatisfied with and dislike their facial features, skin condition, body hair, hair condition and style, physical appearance, body shape, physical condition and ability as it is, that they prefer or desire their body to be something different from what it is now, according to what they think is better, nicer, healthier, fitter, stronger, younger, prettier, or more attractive.

To counter this body image issue, most people will try to achieve the body image that they would like to have, that they think is the best body image, that would give them the sense of satisfaction and good feelings about their bodies and themselves.

Even many of the yoga classes in the world are emphasizing on promoting improvement in physical appearance, physical condition and ability, to boost people's self-esteem, confidence, sense of self-worth and well-being. And the yoga teachers/instructors aspire to portray a body image of 'good' or 'fit' or 'healthy' or 'attractive' or 'high performance' kind of physical appearance, condition and ability to inspire or motivate the yoga students to also achieve the similar form of body image (enhanced physical appearance, condition, ability and performance.) - "I can achieve this, so can you!" or "Yoga makes you look better and feel better!" But this is not the teaching and practice of yoga. This is empowering ignorance and egoism. It might give them momentary good feelings and confidence about their body and themselves (the ego) by achieving the kind of body image that they prefer, but it doesn't help people to be free from the suffering of low self-esteem and depression derived from attachment and identification with the impermanent physical appearance, condition and ability to be who they are. Once the quality of the body image that they like, that they attached onto and identified with, that makes them feel good and confident about themselves starts to change into something else or is no longer available due to impermanence, they will suffer from disappointment, dissatisfaction, self-hate, self-criticism, low self-esteem, depression, self-harm, and so on.

When people think they are disturbed by body image issue, that is mainly due to ignorance and egoism. There is great identification and attachment towards the physical body and all that is related to the physical body, to be 'I', or what they think is who they are.

Realize yoga or selflessness, be free from identification and attachment towards the physical body, and body image issues won't be existing at all. One will take good care of the well-being of the physical body, out of compassion, without attachment towards the impermanent physical appearance, condition and ability, without identification with the physical body as 'I', or 'Who I am'. Be kind to the body, live a healthy lifestyle to benefit the physical body, and allowing the physical body to improve and change to be what it is, as it is, without any egoistic desire or intention or expectation to make or transform or change the physical body to be the way that 'I' would like it to be, so that 'I' will feel good, happy, satisfied and confident about 'my' body and 'I'. This truly is loving our body, accepting the body as it is, while allowing all the changes to be there as they are, to be what they are.

Expecting the body to be the way that we like it to be, and constantly straining and forcing the physical body with intense physical training so that it will be able to do what we want it to do, and to look the way that we want it to look, to achieve the body image that we prefer/desire, is not loving our body, but it's the ego loving what it likes and wants. "I want my body to be like this or to be able to do that." Again, it's everyone's freedom for what they want to do with their body, and how they want to treat their body.

Be free.

Confidence?

Many 'yoga teachers' believe in and preach about yoga (asana) practice can help to improve low self-esteem or to develop self-confidence. It makes people feel good about themselves and have higher self-confidence when they are able to perform certain asana poses that they couldn't perform before.

There's no doubt that yoga (asana) practice can help to improve one's self-esteem or to increase self-confidence, but this is not the objective of yoga practice at all.

Know that self-esteem or self-confidence is part of the characteristics or qualities of egoism. When the ego is eliminated, there's no such thing as improving self-esteem or to increase/boost/develop self-confidence.

When we know what is the ego and let go of this ego, we don't need any encouragements or compliments from anyone to motivate us to be doing what we are doing, or to be better, or to feel good about ourselves. We also will not be demotivated by not getting any encouragements or compliments, nor be determined by criticism or condemn.

Real yoga practice can be very uncomfortable for the egoistic mind, as it is about eliminating the ego, letting go of desires of wants and don't wants, craving and aversion. It's not about giving what the mind likes and wants, but it's stop giving what the mind likes and wants. And usually the ego will reject this type of yoga practice, as it is like asking the ego to 'retire' and be silent.

Om shanti.

You are not how you look, or what you think how you look, and definitely not how other people perceive or see and think how you look...

Just watched a "touching" video about how women see themselves vs how other people see them (through the physical appearance, or what they think about how they look, or how they feel about themselves based on their physical look).

Our egoistic thinking and feeling mind identifies with our physical body as "I" or "who I am". The egoistic mind attached onto the physical appearance, conditions and abilities to determine the sense of self-esteem, or self-confidence, or self-worth.

"I see myself so ugly, and I feel bad. But other people see me so beautifully, and I feel much better. I'm actually better or worth more than what I think I deserve. As this is what other people think of me. What I think about myself is incorrect, and what others think of me is what I really am."

I guess this is the message that the advertisement tries to inform people. It is sort of an 'encouraging' message for people who are suffering from low self-esteem.

But it doesn't help people to be free from being conditioned by "self-esteem" or "self-worth" that built out of a self-image that derived from ignorance and egoism.

What if other people see us worst than how we see ourselves? (Just like in another video of the men's version of this advertisement campaign)

x x x x x x x x x x

Yoga and Buddhism teachings and practice are here for us to learn how to free the mind from being conditioned by "self-esteem" or "self-worth", which is a side product deriving from ignorance and egoism.

"You are not how you look. You are not what you think how you look. You are not even what you think is who you are. You are not how other people see and think about how you look or who you are. You are not this physical body. You are not how you feel. You are not this thinking and feelings. You are not this mind. The body and mind is not "who I am". There is no "I". It's just the limited body and mind being conditioned by selfless impermanent changes and decay under the nature's law of cause and effect."

This is the basic teaching and practice of yoga. This physical body and its appearance, its conditions and abilities, as well as the egoistic thinking mind that perceives all the names and forms through the senses, who sees, hears, smells, tastes, touches, feels, thinks, judges, desires, expects, acts and reacts, who has likes and dislikes, that comes along with certain personalities, behaviors and characteristics, are not "who I am". They are not "I". The body and mind are merely selfless impermanent names and forms that constantly changing and decaying.

When there is attachment and identification towards the body and the modification of the mind, and the qualities of names and forms, the mind (what we think is ourselves, or "I"), identifies itself with a self-image that is very much based on :-

- The physical appearance, conditions and abilities of what we can do and cannot do. We perceive and create a self-image for ourselves through the senses of what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think and feel. There is an exception if any of the senses is not functioning, such like those who are blind from birth, they might not perceive sights/images/shapes/colours, but they might have a self-image for themselves through the perception from the other senses.

- How we feel and think and judge about ourselves, that is influenced by the egoism, pride, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-criticism, beliefs, religious teachings, relationships, friendships, family and educational background (how we were brought up and what we were told about how we should think and behave), social network and cultural background (the sense of belonging in certain group, culture or society), what we do in life, what we do for living, lifestyle and living standards, possessions, material belongings, enjoyments, likes and dislikes, ambitions, desires, achievements, expectations, judgments, and etc.

x x x x x x x x x

The self-image is the reflection of the ego, or the non-existence "I", that built on our feelings, emotions, thinking, beliefs, characteristics, personalities and all kinds of experiences in that present moment other than the qualities of the physical body.

Our self-image is also being determined by how other people perceive and judge about us through what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, feel and think about us, based on our physical appearance, attires and accessories, hair styles and grooming, facial features, body shapes, body language, facial expression, personal hygiene and tidiness, body smells, skin texture and complexion, expression of thinking, ideas, beliefs, behaviors, emotions, speech, actions and reactions, things that they had heard about us from somewhere, their memories about us in the past, as well as direct contact and personal interactions with us in the present moment. But all these perceptions and judgments from other people are not necessarily the truth of "I" either.

Perceptions from our own mind or from other people's mind that are based on past memories and what the mind thinks, believes and judges what things are, it is not necessarily the truth of things. When our mind is influenced by negative thinking, then everything that we perceive will be contaminated by this negativity in the mind. When our mind is influenced by positive thinking, then everything that we perceive will be contaminated by this positivity in the mind as well. But that is not what things really are. They are neither negative nor positive. They are just what they are. It is just the mind being positive or negative.

Some people who have not seen us for a long time, might still keep a strong image of us (either positive, or negative, or mixture of positive and negative, and whether they liked us or not in the past, whether they'll like us or not in the present moment) based on the memories from the last time they saw us many years ago, and judge us for who we are, which is not the truth of who we are, how we look, how we feel, or how we behave in the present moment now. And most of the time, memories are distorted images. It is not the truth of things as it is.

This self-image comes from our own perception, or from how other people perceive us, is partial and impermanent. It is constantly changing. Our feelings and thinking change. Our physical appearance, conditions and abilities change. Our likes and dislikes, personalities, beliefs, or behaviors change. Everything about us (who we think we are - the mind and the body) change. If this momentary selfless existence is being determined by all these impermanent qualities, then "I" will be in a state of restlessness and dissatisfaction all the time.

Sometimes the mind doesn't want to see things as they are, but projects an imaginary image of what it prefers to be. This is what the teachings of yoga talked about, "The mind only sees and hears what it wants to see or hear..."

No one can argue with one another about each individual mind perceptions about the qualities of names and forms. As each may perceives distinctively or differently from one another on every names and forms that we come in contact with. That's why judgment of good and bad, positive and negative, happiness or suffering, are relatively and subjectively different in each individual about what things are. All these judgments about good or bad, positive or negative, happiness or suffering, are not the truth of what things really are, but it is coming from our own mind limited perceptions based on what our mind thinks, believes and expects what things are.

What we see as beautiful might be something ugly for other people, and vice versa.

The video of this advertisement campaign might help people to realize that our physical appearance or image, is very much being influenced by how we think and feel about ourselves, which is true. But then, in this campaign, people are still relying on a self-image that based on how we think and feel about ourselves, and how other people think and feel about us, to determine that self-image as "This is I". This attachment towards a self-image with certain qualities of names and forms to be identifying as who we are, is the opposite of the teachings of yoga.

There is no "I" being there to be identifying as this or that quality.

x x x x x x x x x

There is nothing wrong to feel better and happier about ourselves, whether it is coming from our own mind perception or from other people's mind perception, and to feel that we actually "worth" more than what we think we deserve. But this only strengthens and empowers the egoism and the attachment towards the physical appearance, the qualities of names and forms, and how other people judge us, to determine the sense of self-worth, self-esteem, or self-confidence of the ego. This is completely going to the opposite direction of the path of yoga and Buddhism towards the realization of selflessness, attributelessness, namelessness and formlessness.

What happen to our ego, when other people see us worst than how we see ourselves, if we are being determined by all these perceptions of names and forms, and judgments coming from our own mind or other people's mind?

We don't need to feel or think that we "worth" a million to feel good about ourselves. We don't even need to feel good. Peace is there as it is, undetermined by how the mind feels and thinks under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

Yoga and Buddhism practice is about letting go of this identification with the physical body and the egoistic thinking mind, as "who I am".

There is no doubt that our confidence, thinking and feelings are influencing the projection of a self-image from the appearance, and vice versa. When our mind feels really bad or really great, it does reflect on our appearance. The self-image that we see ourselves or give to ourselves, are most probably not the same as how other people perceive us. And if we are affected by how different people perceive us differently, our belief and self-confidence about ourselves that built on a projected self-image will be broken easily and frequently.

Sometimes we didn't dressed up "nicely", without any make up or accessories, our physical body is not in a great form, but we will see ourselves looking good as we feel great, confident and happy. This is because we like and love ourselves as we are. Vice versa, even though we dressed up "nicely", put on some beautiful make up and accessories, our physical body is in a great form, but we don't see ourselves looking good, as we feel down, lack of confidence and unhappy. This is because we don't like and don't love ourselves as we are.

If we have true confidence (coming from knowing the Truth of impermanence and selflessness), that is unconditioned and unlimited by the qualities of names and forms, then it doesn't matter what is the conditions, abilities and appearance of this physical body, and what the mind thinks or feels about ourselves, it will not influence or determine us as who we are. Even though sometimes our mind feels sad or down due to certain reasons, but it won't determine or change the truth of selflessness and the unconditional peace.

When the mind knows how to free itself from any identification with any qualities of names and forms, then it doesn't matter how it perceives itself, or how other minds perceive this mind, the mind is just what it is, being undetermined or unconditioned by the impermanent physical appearance/condition and state of the mind.

 

Om shanti.