Be free from attachment and craving towards love and acknowledgement

Many unnecessary sufferings in the world are due to the minds are not free from the passionate egoistic attachment towards love and kindness, there’s desire of craving towards receiving love and kindness from others, or longing to be loved and acknowledged by others, or there’s expectation towards how all and everyone should and shouldn’t act and react and feel.

Many minds think and believe and propagate that all and everyone, including plants and objects, deserve and need love, or be loved by some others, or else, it’s bad, wrong, terrible, sorrowful, pitiful, joyless, meaningless and suffering, if without love.

That is everyone’s freedom of thinking and belief, desire, action and reaction, however, it doesn’t free the mind from perceiving suffering. The mind is still being conditioned by duality and the passionate egoistic attachment towards what the mind thinks and believes is love, good, right, positive, joyful and meaningful.

There is nothing wrong, and it’s very good about the presence of loving kindness among one another in the world of diversity where many minds are under the influence of ignorance and egoism. It’s better than the presence of hatred and cruelty among one another. But this loving kindness that is unconditional and non-discriminating, is beyond personal passionate feeling of love and affection that is conditional and discriminating.

The minds are not free from suffering under such thinking and belief, or understanding about all and everyone deserve and need love, regardless of whether it’s the presence of the personal passionate feeling of love and affection, or the unconditional non-discriminating loving kindness. By receiving love and kindness from others can only give certain degrees of momentary sense of happiness and meaningfulness, or momentary relief from what the minds think and believe as unhappiness, meaninglessness, or suffering, but it doesn’t free the minds from the root cause of unhappiness, meaninglessness, or suffering.

Treating or looking after all and everything with care and appreciation might can help to maintain or prolong their good condition up to certain degrees, but still, all are impermanent. Caring and appreciative towards all and everything doesn’t have to be related to passionate feeling of love and affection. One doesn’t need to have passionate feeling of love and affection, or attachment, towards certain things in order to show care and appreciation towards them, while respecting all and everything are impermanent. There’s no disappointment, painful sorrow, unhappiness, meaninglessness or suffering arise upon impermanent changes.

If the minds are being conditioned by the thinking and belief that all and everything need and deserve love and kindness from others, and are craving for love and to be loved by some others, while expecting all and everyone should show love and kindness towards all and everyone, or shouldn’t be unloving and unkind, regardless of whether they are the family, parents, siblings, friends, partners, children, or the communities in the world, they will be suffering upon thinking that they are not loved by others, or those whom they want and expect them to love and be kind to them, but they don’t love or be kind to them, or expecting that all and everyone should be loving and kind to one another, but they don’t.

The minds are craving for love and to be loved by some others, and have expectation towards how others should and shouldn’t act and react and feel, is merely because they are under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

What all and everyone truly need, for peace in oneself and in the world, is to be free from ignorance and egoism.

If the minds are free from ignorance and egoism, they will realize selfless compassion.

Once they realized selfless compassion, they will understand.

It’s everyone’s freedom for how they think, act and react and feel, of whether they love others and want to be kind to others, or not.

They don’t need to please or impress anyone in order to attain love and affection, or acknowledgement and validation from others.

They don’t need others to love or be kind to them.

They don’t need family, parents, siblings, friends, teachers, students, partners, children, communities, animals, plants, nature, objects, or the universe, to love them, or more precisely, to love them in the way that they think how it should be.

They don’t need to be loved by anyone.

They don’t need love and affection.

They don’t need acknowledgement and validation.

None can help or make them to realize that, but the mind itself.

Once they realized that, once they understood that, they are free.

They will never feel lonely.

They will never feel unloved.

They will never feel intimidated.

They will never feel hurt or disappointed.

They can love or don’t love anyone.

They can be kind to everyone, if they want.

They can appreciate the presence of love and kindness from others unto them, but they don’t need anyone to love and be kind to them, and they don’t expect all and everyone should be loving and kind, or shouldn’t be unloving and unkind.

They will allow and respect everyone whether they want to love and be kind to others, or not, even though they might not agree with, encourage, or support unloving and unkind behaviors in the world.

If they are suffering, it’s not because others don’t love them, or don’t want to love them, or some others are being unloving and unkind to them or others.

They are suffering, is because they don’t allow everyone being what and how they are, whether they love others or want to be kind to others, or not.

They are suffering, is because they want to be loved and acknowledged by others, there’s craving and expectation towards receiving love and acknowledgement from others, and there’s expectation towards how everyone should and shouldn’t behave, but that desire of craving and expectation is not being gratified.

And hence,

How to be free from such unnecessary suffering deriving from ignorance and egoism?

Just let go the passionate egoistic thinking and belief that is conditioning how the mind understands and judges everything, influencing how it acts and reacts and feels, and how it expects others about how everyone should act and react and feel.

No doubt that for promoting peace and harmony among all and everything, none should be unloving or unkind towards anyone or anything, however, it’s everyone’s freedom, whether they want to be loving and kind to others, or not, even if they are one’s family, parents, siblings, friends, partners, children, or community.

There's nothing wrong with the minds don't feel love towards certain names and forms that they dislike and disagree with. It's okay if the mind doesn't want to love someone or something, with or without any reason. The mind might not love, like and agree with everything, but it doesn't necessarily has to be hating or being cruel towards something that it doesn't love, doesn't like, or doesn't agree with. The mind that would react with hatred and cruelty towards something that it doesn't love, doesn't like or doesn't agree with, is ill, or corrupted.

It is everyone’s freedom for being ignorant and egoistic, or not.

It is everyone’s freedom if they feel lonely, unloved, intimidated, disappointed, hurt, joyless, sorrow, or meaningless.

It is also everyone’s freedom whether they want to be free from the unnecessary suffering deriving from ignorance and egoism, or not, and whether they want to let go, or not.

The minds that are free from ignorance and egoism, they are peaceful and free as they are, regardless of whether they have many friends, or have very few friends, or have no friend at all, to play with, interact with and share with, and whether their family/parents/siblings/friends are being loving and kind to them, or not. They allow everyone and everything to come and go as they are. The sense of loneliness, hurt, guilt, regret, sorrow, fear and meaninglessness doesn't exist in such minds.

Be free.

Fine as you are, happy as you are

So many people in the world growing up being conditioned and empowered by certain ideas and values, at home, in school, in workplace, or in the society, about "You need to strive to be like this or that, think like this or that, behave like this or that, do this or that, achieve this or that, possess this or that, become this or that, be empowered, be competitive, be outstanding, be charming, be beautiful, be attractive, be strong, be fit, be healthy, be positive, be optimistic, be inspired, be ambitious, be successful, be rich, be powerful, be famous, be acknowledged, be recognized, be respectable, be proud of, and then you will be blessed with satisfaction, happiness and meaningfulness," or "Do something that will make you happy," or "Do something meaningful with your life existence," or "Do everything that you want to do before you die, enjoy life to the maximum, so that you won't regret when you die."

While in the process of accomplishing all that, one would do anything regardless of hurting oneself and/or others, as well as the surrounding environment, either intentionally or unintentionally, directly or indirectly, in order to achieve one's aspiration of being 'somebody good enough or successful enough' that is 'deserving' satisfaction, happiness and meaningfulness, so that one can live a pleasurable lifestyle and comfortable life with many physical and mental enjoyments and conveniences, so that one will be satisfied and happy, feel meaningful, and won't regret about anything.

* * * * * * * *

You can be happy as you are, if you want.

You don't need empowerment.

You don't need to be empowered/competitive/outstanding/strong/fit/healthy/beautiful/attractive/inspired/ambitious/successful/rich/powerful/acknowledged/respectable, or do and achieve anything in order to be satisfied and happy, feel meaningful, or have no regret.

You don't need to to be living a pleasurable lifestyle with many physical and mental enjoyments and conveniences that exploit many people and the surrounding environment to the maximum in order to appreciate life and be happy.

You don't need to be somebody with particular quality/achievement/possession/recognition to deserve something.

You don't need to be 'deserving'.

You don't need to be 'good enough' or 'successful enough'.

You don't need to be special or extraordinary.

You don't need to be a hero.

You don't need to be proud of yourself.

You don't need others to be proud of you, not even your parents.

You don't need any encouragement, praise and compliment, understanding, acceptance, validation, appreciation, sympathy or empathy, from anyone.

You don't need anyone to make you happy. None can make you happy if you want to be unhappy.

You don't need to make anyone happy. None can make others happy if they want to be unhappy.

You are fine as you are. You are happy as you are.

It's the freedom of being what you are, as you are, that no one can give you or take away from you, even though all is impermanent.

What you are, is impermanent.

How you are, is impermanent.

What you think and how you feel, is impermanent.

You can be as successful as you can be, do and achieve anything that you desire, if it's possible, if you want, within your current capability, without hurting yourself and/or others and the surrounding environment, but all these actions, abilities and achievements are not you, and they are impermanent.

Above all, there's no 'You'.

It's just selfless impermanent names and forms, arising, changing, and passing away, even though there's cause and effect.

There are ceaseless changes, ups and downs, laughter and tears, people coming and going, togetherness and separation, sunny days and rainy days, hot and cold, comfort and discomfort, pain, injury, sickness, weakness, old age, decay, and disintegration.

And it's okay.

Happy as it is.

And if you want, inquire the truth of everything without blind-believing, blind-following, blind-agreeing, blind-practicing, and blind-propagating.

Inquire the truth of everything regardless of whether the mind agrees or disagrees

One of the important teachings and practice of yoga and/or buddhism, is about the mind be opened and initiative and vigilant to inquire or investigate the truth of everything that it comes in contact with, regardless of whether there's autonomous agreement or disagreement coming from the intellectual reasoning, analysis and judgment towards everything based on the existing conditional and limited family/cultural/social/spiritual/religious/educational/philosophical/political/commercial/traditional/new-age thinking, belief, values and practice in the mind under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

Before reaching complete openness, or absolute non-attachment and non-identification, the mind needs to develop certain degrees of openness, or non-attachment and non-identification in the mind towards the existing thinking and belief, values and practice in the mind that is being conditioned and influenced by all kind of inputs of information/ideas/sayings/teachings coming from parents, elders, care takers, relatives, teachers, friends, communities, reading materials, medias, educations, or everywhere and everyone that oneself comes in contact with, that it has been absorbing and accumulating from the beginning of its selfless impermanent existence until the present.

All minds have the freedom to agree or disagree, to accept or reject, or to blind-agreeing/accepting or blind-disagreeing/rejecting towards anything, although there are certain corrupted ambitious minds desire to be restricting, oppressing, regulating, manipulating or controlling other minds to be thinking, believing, desiring, behaving, acting and reacting in certain way that they desire, out of certain selfish intention and desire to be achieving their particular vision, ambition and aspiration. All minds also be responsible towards their own freedom of thinking, belief, desires, actions and reactions, and the consequences of their desires, actions and reactions based on their thinking and belief.

Many minds might think that they are free minds that are free to think and believe what they are thinking and believing, and living life in certain way that they want and desire, not knowing that they have been being conditioned or influenced to be thinking and believing in such way, and desiring to live life in certain way, that mainly to be supporting and accomplishing the selfish desire of certain ambitious minds to create a world the way that they desire which benefits them selfishly.

Swami Sivananda and many other teachers from the past had been repeatedly advising the students/practitioners of yoga and/or buddhism to stay away from TV watching, radio listening, movie watching, theater visiting, books, magazines and newspapers reading, advertisements, politics, different type of groups/associations/organizations, (and in the modern era of higher technology now, many kind of social media platforms, which is nothing but the platforms for certain greedy ambitious minds to achieve their endless desires and aspirations), and etc. And hence, the high importance of renunciation, seclusion and solitude for a prolonged period of time for the practitioners in the path of yoga and/or buddhism, until the mind developed a strong foundation in correct understanding, dispassion, non-attachment and non-identification. Or else, it's very difficult for the mind to perform self-inquiry for attaining self-realization.

There's neither right nor wrong, even though the mind can be generating ceaseless unnecessary suffering to oneself and others and into the surrounding environment, either wittingly or unwittingly, if the mind is being ignorant towards ignorance, and ceaselessly thinking, believing, agreeing, disagreeing, acting and reacting under the influence of ignorance and egoism empowered by the many existing ignorant egoistic corrupted ambitious minds in the world.

Self-inquiry and self-realization is beyond skepticism, blind-disagreement, denial, or rejection towards everything.

Neither blind-agreement of accepting and agreeing with everything nor blind-disagreement of denying and disagreeing with everything without direct profound investigation or inquiry can lead the mind towards self-realization, or liberation from ignorance and the by-products of ignorance.

Blind-agreement is more dangerous than blind-disagreement. For the mind that has doubt, that is being aware of itself doesn't really know the truth of something, then, it's better to be blind-disagreeing/rejecting than to be blind-agreeing with/accepting that which it doesn't know for sure, however, this doesn't and cannot free the mind from ignorance.

Most minds merely agree or disagree towards everything that it comes in contact with, based on the particular existing thinking, belief, values and practice in the mind, but don't have the initiation to be investigating or inquiring further towards the truth of what it agrees or disagrees with. This is because the mind thinks and believes that, "There's absolutely nothing wrong or incorrect with my thinking and belief, that sets as the guidelines for me to reason and judge towards everything, where what I judge as right, is right, and what I judge as wrong, is wrong," while being strongly disagreeing with "Anything that is different from my understanding and judgment based on my thinking and belief." And hence, "Why do I need to question towards my thinking and belief that is all right and nothing wrong?"

Yoga and buddhism practitioners need to know how to go beyond the autonomous agreements and disagreements that arise and exist in the mind, void of blind-agreement and blind-disagreement, where it doesn't need to accept or reject anything, while perceiving or witnessing everything being there, arising, changing, and passing away, but at the same time, be initiative to be making an effort to inquire and investigate towards the truth of everything under an open mind, including all the teachings and practice of yoga and buddhism, as well as what is here, without being influenced by the existing thinking and belief, values and practice in the mind.

It's seeing/witnessing/contemplating the truth of selflessness and impermanence in all kind of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses, including the function and existence of the modification of the mind itself, that which is also seeing/witnessing/contemplating itself as it is, which is selfless and impermanent.

Such as through the selfless function of the sense organ of eyes/the sense of seeing, the selfless impermanent mind perceives and investigates what it sees (all kind of selfless and impermanent names and forms), as well as perceiving and investigating the existence and function of the sense organ of eyes/the sense of seeing themselves, as well as the perceptive mind itself that perceives and investigates. Both subject and object are selfless and impermanent. The knife that cuts an object and the object that is being cut by the knife, and the one who uses the knife to cut an object, as well as the elements that enable all that to be existing and happening, are all selfless and impermanent. 

The great difficulty on the path of self-realization towards selflessness is that, even when the intellectual reasoning mind says, "I think I understand that," but not really, if the thinking mind is still being restless and perceiving all kind of suffering, being determined by all kind of names and forms that it perceives through the senses, as it still doesn't know how to be unattached and non-identifying towards the existence and function of the body and mind as well as the modifications of the mind, and it's still being over-powered by the passionate desire of craving and aversion, due to the deep rooted veil of ignorance. That's why even the highly intelligent, talented, skillful and knowledgeable minds/scientists/engineers/scholars/researchers/philosophers/inventors are not necessarily be free from disturbs, hurts, unhappiness, disappointment, dissatisfaction, fear, worry, anger, hatred, greed, jealousy, meaninglessness, restlessness, painful sorrow and suffering, if the mind is not free from ignorance and egoism. There's neither good nor bad.

There's no "I realized selflessness," or "I understand," or "I am selfless," upon the realization of selflessness, upon the annihilation of the idea of 'I'. Such minds are not moved or disturbed by anything. And it's nothing extraordinary. It's just what things are.

There's neither "I want to be good. I want you to be good. I want life to be good. I want the world to be good. I want everyone to be good." The 'good and positive' minds that propagate 'goodness and positive thinking' in the world, that want to influence and change everything to be all good and positive, might disagree with this, and think, "This is so negative." That's their freedom of thinking and understanding.

Realize this, and be free.

All are selfish unless the mind realized selflessness

Selfishness is part of the impermanent modifications of the mind. It's part of the survival instinct in all living beings. It's naive to be judging anyone as a selfish or unselfish person, not to say, a good or bad being, even though certain actions/reactions are being perceived as selfishness or unselfishness.

The minds that are free from ignorance and egoism, they don't judge or label anyone as good or bad being, selfish or unselfish person, even though they are aware of the existence of certain kind or unkind, selfish or unselfish actions and reactions in all and everyone, being aware of all kind of modifications of the minds or agreeable/disagreeable behaviors are impermanent and conditional.

The minds that are functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism, and have no awareness towards the modifications of the mind, are restlessly swaying between good mood and bad mood, being conditioned by the likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, desires and don't desires of themselves, that are determining their behavior and interactions with the others, where they can be unselfishly easy going, kind and nice at one time, while can be selfishly difficult, unkind and hurtful at some other time depending on the states of their mind.

Those who are behaving selfishly most of the time can sometimes be unselfish under certain reasons or conditions. While those who are behaving unselfishly most of the time can also sometimes be selfish under certain reasons or conditions. Or, people can be selfish in certain things while being unselfish in some other things at the same time. Most of the time, the minds are being less selfish, good or nice to others when the minds are in good mood, upon perceiving something desirable and agreeable to them, while they are being selfish, bad or not so nice to others when the minds are in bad mood, upon perceiving something undesirable or disagreeable to them.

It's neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative, it's merely the behavior pattern of the minds functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism, although selfish intention and behavior can cause certain unpleasant consequences to oneself and others, and impacting the condition and situation of the surrounding environment, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Similarly, sometimes what the minds recognized as unselfish intention and behavior might also can cause certain unpleasant consequences to oneself and others, and impacting the condition and situation of the surrounding environment in certain way, unintentionally.

Some minds are aware of selfishness, but they still want to be selfish, either wittingly or unwittingly, due to certain desire, motivation, ambition, aspiration, desperation or fear, regardless of whether they think and believe that selfishness is something bad, wrong and negative, or not.

Some minds are not aware of selfishness in themselves, and they are behaving selfishly most of the time, but they might be thinking and believing and identifying oneself as an unselfish person, while recognizing certain selfishness in some others.

Many minds might think and believe that selfishness is something bad, wrong and negative, that they don't want to be selfish, and they want to be unselfish. They want to be recognized and acknowledged and identified as unselfish people, and they don't want to be recognized, or acknowledged, or identified as selfish people. They might be performing many actions that they think are unselfish actions, and they might not perform any actions that they think are selfish actions. They think and believe that they are unselfish people, as they have been being generous, thoughtful, nice and kind to others, or they have been sacrificing their time, energy, effort and priority for some others for certain reasons, where there's expectation towards receiving acknowledgement and appreciation from others for being generous, thoughtful, nice and kind, while they would be disappointed if their generosity, thoughtfulness, nice treatment and kindness are not being acknowledged or appreciated as they expect how it should be. Such attachment and identification towards the state of selfishness and unselfishness is also part of the modifications of the mind under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

Disappointment towards other people's behavior that the mind thinks and believes as something selfish, wrongful, bad or unkind, while being determined and disturbed by that, is the responsibility of the mind itself for having expectation towards all and everyone should and shouldn't behave in certain way. The minds that understand, they won't be disappointed or determined by the selfishness, wrongfulness, badness and unkindness in the world, as they don't have expectation towards everyone should and shouldn't behave in certain way. They might not agree with certain behavior in certain people, but they understand that it's everyone's freedom for their own behavior, and it's everyone's responsibility towards their own behavior and the consequences of their behavior, may it be it's one's family members or close friends, or someone happens to be famous, powerful, knowledgeable, talented, successful, or highly respected in the world.

Selfishness that derived from survival instinct and other impurities such as desire, ambition, self-glorification, self-protection, jealousy and resentment exists everywhere, including within the same family, friendship, relationship, workplace, classroom, community, competition, not to say, in the field of politics. Out of desire, ambition, self-glorification, self-protection, resentment or jealousy among siblings, friends, partners, classmates, colleagues, communities, competitors, or politics, may it be to glorify oneself in order to gain attention, liking and support from certain people, or to protect oneself and one's desires, benefits and status, or merely to injure or weaken the others in order to achieve success or something that one desires, where siblings, or friends, or partners would hurt one another, either secretly or openly, not to say among classmates, colleagues, communities, competitors, and especially, politics. At one time, people are being nice to one another, while at another time, the same people are hurting one another, when things are not the way that they desire and agree with, or not the way that they expect it to be.

The minds that realized selflessness, are free from egoistic attachment and identification towards the impermanent modifications of the mind. There's neither "I am selfish" nor "I am unselfish." There's neither "I want to be selfish/unselfish" nor "I don't want to be selfish/unselfish."

All are selfish, under the presence of the idea of 'I' and the duality/separateness/survival instinct/attachment/identification/desire/fear that exists along with the idea of 'I', and would hurt anyone in order to achieve one's desire or ambition, or to protect oneself and one's benefits, unless the mind realized selflessness, void of ignorance and egoism, or selfish intention and desire, even though certain actions (both action and inaction) might be perceived by the ignorant egoistic minds as 'selfishness' or 'unselfishness'.

How everyone want to think, act and react, agree and disagree towards all and everything, is everyone's freedom. One can be aware of what is going on in one's mind, and have self-control over one's actions and reactions, or not, without attachment or identification, and let other minds to be aware of what is going on in their mind, and have self-control over their actions and reactions, or not.

Respecting everyone being what they are and how they are, and all are impermanent, without interfering or regulating everyone and everything to be and not to be in certain way. Let everyone be responsible for looking after their own mind and have self-control, or not, and be responsible for the consequences of their own behavior, actions and reactions, even if there's collective responsibility that is also not in the control of anyone.

Let go the thinking and belief about "This, or 'I', deserves or doesn't deserve this and that," based on particular thinking, belief, values and practice.

Realize this and be free.

Go beyond sadness, grief, guilt, regret or blame

It's normal and common that most minds would react with great sadness or grief upon knowing/seeing/hearing the death of someone that they know personally, especially those who are close to them in their life, that have been interacting with them, that have been establishing certain connection or relationship with them, that they like and agree with. While they won't react with the similar degree of sadness or grief upon knowing/seeing/hearing the death of someone that they don't know personally, or someone that they dislike and disagree with. Meanwhile, they might not feel sadness or grief at all upon knowing/seeing/hearing the death of someone that they hate very much for certain reasons. It's neither right nor wrong. Just that these minds are not free from the veil of ignorance.

Some minds would be over-whelmed by intense sadness or grief towards any kind of death or suffering, upon knowing/seeing/hearing the death or suffering of anyone and any lives, regardless of someone that they know or don't know personally, or someone that they like or dislike, agree or disagree with. These minds are not free as well. Some minds might interpret that as the reaction of great compassion, but it's not. These minds are still functioning under the veil of ignorance.

Some minds would be disturbed by guilt, regret or blame towards oneself and/or others upon the death or suffering of oneself or others, for certain reasons. They want to do and achieve everything that they want to do and achieve before the death of oneself or others, hoping that there won't be any guilt, regret or blame, or if not, maybe there will be less guilt, regret or blame. These minds are not free as well.

Some minds cannot perceive any form of emotions/sensations towards anything, being emotionless, numbed or non-empathetic, due to certain dysfunction or injury in certain part of the bodily system, or under the influence of certain drugs. It doesn't necessarily mean that these minds are free from the veil of ignorance.

The minds that have attained direct realization towards selflessness and impermanence, are void of sadness, grief, guilt, regret, or blame. Not that they are emotionless, numbed, or lack of empathy due to certain malfunction in certain part of the bodily system, or under the influence of any drugs, but merely because these minds are void of ignorance and egoism. These minds are aware of certain gross and subtle emotions or sensations might be arising, changing and passing away, but there's no grasping, attachment or identification arise in the mind towards all these selfless modifications of the impermanent body and mind.

There's neither good nor bad about all these modifications of the mind, all minds are free to feel what they are feeling, or not feeling what they are not feeling, especially if the minds have certain degrees of understanding towards the impermanence of everything. However, it can be quiet disturbing/suffering to oneself and maybe others if the mind has no correct understanding, and is being over-powered by all these selfless impermanent modifications of the mind. Some minds are continuing to be disturbed by certain emotions arising and accumulating from the past experiences for years and years, that also affecting their relationships with everyone or their physical and mental performance in everyday life, unwittingly. It's not about denying, ignoring or pushing away all these emotions. but to be aware of them, without grasping, attachment or identification, allowing them to be there, arising, changing, and passing away. Just as allowing everyone and everything to be there, changing, and passing away, without judgment or expectation.

Realize this, and be free.

Go beyond auspiciousness and inauspiciousness, positiveness and negativeness

There's nothing wrong with some minds strongly believe in auspiciousness and inauspiciousness, and be determined or disturbed by the absence of what they believe as auspiciousness or the presence of what they believe as inauspiciousness. Similarly, some minds also strongly believe in positiveness and negativeness, and be determined or disturbed by the absence of what they believe as positiveness or the presence of what they believe as negativeness. These minds have the urge or need to be performing certain actions/rituals, or possessing certain objects such like specific accessories, decorations, objects or plants of particular shape, colour, smell, sound, texture and material to be keeping closely on one's physical body or in one's living space and surrounding environment, to be evoking or attracting what they believe as auspiciousness and positiveness, while avoiding or getting rid of what they believe as inauspiciousness and negativeness.

This is merely because the minds are still functioning under the influence of ignorance, being conditioned by the perceived duality in all kind of names and forms, where the minds are still being the slave of the desire of craving and aversion unwittingly, there's craving towards what the minds believe as goodness, and there's aversion towards what the minds believe as badness, as the minds haven't attained direct realization towards non-duality, oneness, non-separateness, or selflessness, namelessness, formlessness and attributelessness.

It's neither right nor wrong, just that the minds are not free.

Inquire towards the essential teachings of yoga and buddhism about simplicity.

Why did Siddhartha Gautama Buddha reject the gift of something that was made and decorated with the top quality 'majestic' and 'luxurious' materials, accessories and decorations that the minds think and believe as representing something highly auspicious and grand that would portray and glorify the majestic nobility of someone and something like the enlightened buddha and the dhamma, that the minds think and believe as someone and something that deserve such majestic, luxurious or auspicious presentation, acknowledgement, glorification, appearance, image, or housing?

Just as there are still many so called buddhist associations or organizations in the world run by minds that are still under the influence of ignorance and egoism would keep asking for public donations to support their vision and ambition to build more and bigger buildings that would be decorated with gold and some other 'luxurious' or so called 'auspicious' accessories and decorations that they think and believe as something representing, or portraying, or glorifying the majestic auspiciousness of the enlightened buddhas or the precious dhamma, where certain 'names and forms', or 'behaviors', or 'words', or 'objects' that the minds think and believe as something 'inauspicious', or 'belittling', or 'disrespectful', or 'offensive' towards the buddhas or the dhamma, are strictly prohibited within the compound of those buildings where they host many statues of different buddhas that are being decorated with either gold or some other kind of 'luxurious' or 'auspicious' materials, as well as to host many buddhism or dhamma books and related materials. They encourage the mass to give donations under the good intention of accumulating merits and virtues or good karma for oneself and one's loved ones as well as the next generations, which is nothing but empowering ignorance and egoism of attachment, identification, the desire of craving and aversion, and expectation.

A liberated being or mind, that has attained realization towards selflessness, namelessness, formlessness and attributelessness, that is void of ignorance and egoism, that is void of pride, desire, craving, aversion, greed, fear, intention, and etc, where nothing can hurt or destroy that which is selfless, nameless, formless and attributeless, doesn't need anything to represent, or portray, or acknowledge, or maintain, or protect, or empower, or glorify itself or the dhamma, being what it is.

What is auspiciousness and inauspiciousness, or positiveness and negativeness, for the liberated minds that are void of ignorance and egoism?

The dhamma, will always be there as it is, nameless and formless, attributeless and changeless, beyond time, space and causation, which can never be hurt, disrespected, offended, manipulated, or destroyed.

It's merely the ignorant ego or idea of 'I' in the mind, that needs to be empowered, acknowledged, respected, glorified, maintained and protected with what the mind thinks and believes as something respectful, luxurious, auspicious, positive, glorious, or majestic, while justifying that it's for protecting and propagating buddhism and the dhamma, attracting more minds to be learning and practicing buddhism or the dhamma, even when the essential teachings of buddhism and yoga, is about all is impermanent, including the limited form of dhamma that exists under certain names and forms, will also subject to impermanent changes and can be manipulated and destroyed, even though the nameless and formless dhamma as it is, is infinite and changeless, that never increase or decrease, that can never be hurt, or manipulated, or destroyed by anything.

Just as there are minds have the great desire/aspiration/ambition to go against, or slow down, or delay, or prevent, or reverse impermanent changes of the limited selfless impermanent physical body, by thinking optimistically, living positively and eating healthily. It's neither right nor wrong. It's their freedom of thinking, desire and action. Just that it doesn't change the truth of selfless impermanence in all kind of names and forms, of decaying, and eventually, disintegrating.

Yoga or buddhism practitioners also can be thinking optimistically, living positively and eating healthily if they want, if possible, to minimize or lessen unnecessary physical and mental suffering for oneself and others, however, it's not because of aversion towards impermanent changes and desiring to fight against impermanent changes, but respecting the impermanent changes as they are, without attachment or identification.

Such as one knows that if over-eating any type of food will cause indigestion, discomfort or even sickness to the physical body, one has the awareness and self-control not to be over-eating any kind of food, so that it doesn't cause unnecessary inconvenience or suffering to oneself as well as to those who have to be looking after oneself if oneself is down with certain sickness due to over-eating certain type of food. But it's not because "I don't want to be fat," or "I don't want any sickness or suffering."

Realize this, and be free.

Inquiry and realization towards selflessness and impermanence in all kind of names and forms

The mind that knows how to perform inquiry towards all kind of names and forms, and attains direct realization towards the nature of selflessness and impermanence in all kind of names and forms, including the existence and function of the physical body and the perceptive cognitive intellectual thinking mind, is a free mind that is not being determined, disturbed or influenced by all kind of impermanent changes that are desirable or undesirable, pleasant or unpleasant, and agreeable or disagreeable.

It's neither easy nor difficult to see the nature of names and forms. It depends on whether the mind is able to let go and allowing itself to be opened, or not, to see everything as they are, without judgment of good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness based on any particular worldly passionate egoistic thinking, belief, values and practice, and be able to be unattached towards all kind of conditions, situations, experiences, interactions and relationships with all and everyone.

The selfless impermanent life existence or the perceived world of names and forms is just what it is, neither good and meaningful (upon the presence of all kind of goodness or the absence of all kind of badness) nor bad and meaningless (upon the presence of certain badness or the absence of certain goodness). The minds that understand this, are free being what and where and how they are, and are peaceful as they are, regardless of the agreeable and disagreeable experiences and impermanent changes in this world of ignorance and egoism.

All kind of physical or mental (external or internal) yoga practice as well as everyday life experiences and all kind of selfless impermanent changes are there to train and teach and enable the mind to be opened, to be attaining concentration and attentiveness bringing the mind to be in the present, to be withdrawing the senses from going out restlessly chasing after the objects of the senses, to be eliminating egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, comparison, judgment and expectation, to be free from passion, discontentment, greed and ambition, and to renounce the fruit of action. All these practice are neither easy nor difficult. It depends on whether the mind has the basic elements of openness, discipline, patience, perseverance, forbearance and determination, and be able to let go, accept, adjust, adapt and accommodate, or not.

The minds that are still struggling in restlessness being determined, disturbed and influenced by the impermanent changes and the duality of good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure, positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, or meaningfulness and meaninglessness, is merely because they are still functioning under the influence of ignorance and egoism, as they haven't attained the direct realization towards the nature of selflessness and impermanence in itself and everything that it perceives/comes in contact with/experiences, where they are being over-powered by the desire of craving and aversion which gives rise to the urge to control names and forms to be and not to be in certain ways, that gives rise to many unnecessary suffering and disturbance to oneself and many others in the world. These minds are restlessly chasing after interaction, attention, love, support, kindness, sympathy and empathy, encouragement, acceptance, agreement, compliment, appreciation, acknowledgement, or even submission from others, to feel good, right, positive, happy and meaningful, or even powerful about itself, its life existence and the world.

These minds are not aware of the selfishness or selfish intention behind all its thinking and actions/reactions, even when they are performing actions that are being recognized as something good and righteous, or wholesome and healthy, thinking and believing and identifying themselves as good and kind human beings. Even when they think and believe that they are performing such actions with the good and positive intention to be good and kind to others, to be giving and helping others, to bring happiness to others, to relieve the suffering of others, to be looking after the nature, and to change the world to be a better place. Because all these actions and the fruit of these actions will make the minds feel good, right, positive, happy and meaningful about itself and its life existence.

Such as the enthusiasm and motivation to be performing certain yoga practice regularly as well as the action of sharing or teaching yoga to others, might be present and increasing in the mind, as it makes the mind feel good, right, positive, happy or meaningful, however, the mind needs to know how to be unattached and go beyond the sense of goodness, righteousness, positiveness, happiness and meaningfulness, to realize unconditional peace transcending the selfless impermanent modification of the mind.

The minds that are free, might be performing the similar actions in this world of selflessness and impermanence, looking after themselves, others and the surrounding environment, but they don't need to feel good, right, positive, happy and meaningful about anything at all.

The difference is, the minds that are not free, they are unwittingly being determined or disturbed by the pleasant/unpleasant, desirable/undesirable and agreeable/disagreeable experiences, relationships, interactions, conditions and situations, actions and the fruit of actions, or the selfless impermanent changes governed by the nature's law of cause and effect. While the minds that are free, they don't. They are peaceful as they are.

Under the veil of ignorance, many minds have great difficulty of letting go attachment and identification, even when they have intellectual understanding towards the nature of impermanent changes in everything, but somehow they just couldn't go beyond the idea of 'I' and the mind perception of duality, and hence, they are not free, being determined and disturbed by the selfless impermanent changes, experiences, conditions, situations, interactions and relationships that are not the way that they like, desire and agree with.

It's everyone's freedom for all their thinking, belief, feeling, desire, intention, actions and reactions, and whether they are able to let go and realize unconditional peace, or not.

Transcending all kind of thinking and belief via non-attachment and non-identification

It's neither easy nor difficult to realize unconditional peace.

All and everyone can realize unconditional peace if the minds know what is non-attachment and non-identification.

Regardless of what kind of thinking and belief existing in the mind, conditioning the mind to think and believe in certain way judging everything as either good or bad, positive or negative and meaningful or meaningless, more importantly, it's about whether the mind knows how to go beyond any kind of thinking and belief in the selfless world of impermanence via non-attachment and non-identification.

What the mind thinks and believes and judges as good and bad, positive and negative, meaningful and meaningless based on any kind of worldly cultural thinking and belief, or under any kind of religious/spiritual teachings and practices, including those from yoga and buddhism, that teach or guide the minds on how to transcend the modification of the mind itself, as well as the realization towards selflessness and impermanence, doesn't change the truth of selflessness and impermanence in all and everything.

Go beyond the quality of good and bad based on any particular thinking and belief, allowing the mind to see the truth of names and forms as it is, without attachment and identification, which allows the mind to be in peace under any selfless impermanent changes, not being determined or disturbed by the absence of what the mind refers as goodness and the presence of what the mind refers as badness based on any particular thinking and belief towards what is goodness and badness, free from craving and clinging towards what the mind thinks and believes as the quality of goodness, and free from aversion and resentment towards what the mind thinks and believes as the quality of badness.

What the body and mind can do and achieve through this selfless impermanent life existence, of what the mind thinks and believes as something good and positive and meaningful, is nothing to do with whether the mind is free from ignorance and egoism transcending the selfless impermanent modification of the mind perceiving/experiencing a selfless impermanent worldly life existence, or not.

If a mind loves and enjoys certain mental and physical activity very much, and attaining certain achievements through that particular mental and physical ability/talent, that gives rise to the sense of goodness, positiveness and meaningfulness to the mind about itself and life existence, but then would be disturbed being over-powered by the sense of badness, negativeness and meaninglessness upon losing that particular ability, or couldn't attain higher or further achievement through that particular ability, then this mind is not free. It doesn't know what is non-attachment and non-identification that allows the mind to transcend the selfless impermanent modification of the mind itself.

The mind that knows what is non-attachment and non-identification, it can love and enjoy anything that it loves and enjoys doing and achieving, while it's available or possible, but will not be determined or disturbed upon losing what it loves and enjoys that is no longer available or possible due to selfless impermanent changes, transcending the sense of goodness and badness, positiveness and negativeness, and meaningfulness and meaninglessness.

Such mind is not being determined or disturbed by the selfless impermanent condition and situation in the world of ignorance and egoism, free from craving and aversion, free from judgment and expectation, free from passion and ambition, free from dissatisfaction and disappointment, free from discrimination and hatred, free from bitterness and resentment, free from fear and worry, free from restlessness and suffering.

Similarly, under the presence of attachment and identification, there arise craving and aversion, judgment and expectation, passion and ambition, dissatisfaction and disappointment, discrimination and hatred, bitterness and resentment, fear and worry, or restlessness and suffering.

All are merely residing momentarily in this space that doesn't belong to anyone

All and everyone are merely arising and passing by, being and residing momentarily in this space of the universe that doesn't belong to anyone.

The world doesn't have to be like this, as what it is now, however, it is what it is, constantly changing selflessly, governed by the nature law of cause and effect, influenced by the ceaseless actions and fruit of actions generated by the minds under the influence of ignorance and egoism.

The world can be 'as healthy as it can be', even when all and everything are impermanent, selflessly arising, changing, and passing away.

If all minds are free from attachment and identification.

If all minds are free from desire, selfishness and possessiveness.

If all minds are free from being influenced and conditioned by particular egoistic thinking, belief, values and practice that survived on attachment and identification towards specific qualities of names and forms to be existing, to judge everything, to desire, regulate and expect everything to be and not to be in certain way based on those thinking, belief, values and practice.

If all minds are free from separateness and discrimination.

If all minds are free from fear and greed.

If all minds are free from bitterness and resentment.

If all minds are free from pride and arrogance.

If all minds are free from superiority and inferiority.

If all minds are free from the urge to conquer, control, regulate, manipulate, oppress, bully, threaten, or even eliminate the others to achieve 'my/our' vision and ambition.

If all minds are free from all these corruptions.

If all minds are free from ignorance and egoism.

There will be less unnecessary ignorance induced pain, even when pain is an inevitable process of selfless impermanence.

Let them be.

Being what they are, and what they desire to be.

Unless the mind is already be free from ignorance, where the mind is firmly established in wisdom and unconditional peace, not being determined or influenced by the ignorance in the world, but for the truth and peace seekers that are still striving, if possible, the minds need to move away from anything that is created by, projected from, administrating, propagating and empowering such ignorance and egoism, that instills and empowers fear, attachment, identification, pride, vision, ambition, superiority and inferiority, separateness and discrimination in the minds in order to be surviving and expanding. Conserving energy to be focusing on purifying and quieting the mind, to be performing self-inquiry, to realize wisdom and unconditional peace.

One doesn't have to, but can be back into the world to perform selfless actions that might or might not help to lessen the ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world, once the mind is firmly established in wisdom and unconditional peace.

My life stories - Part 20 (Balancing life and settling in)

My life Stories – Part 20 (Balancing life and settling in)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

After working full time without a break for a year and dealing with the exhausting apartment hunting process, my husband needed to take a break, which is a natural cycle for everyone to be looking after the physical and mental well-being. We didn't have any particular holiday destination. The cheapest flight destination departing from Geneva that we found was Portugal, and we have never been to Portugal before. And hence, we bought the flight ticket even before we found this apartment. We wanted to fly out from Geneva because it was easier, time and energy saving, and it's closer to us than departing from Paris.

In the early morning of the day that we were leaving to Geneva, we received the long waited message from the Prefecture. After waited for 9 months, having visited the Prefecture three times and renewed our temporary residence permit twice, we were going to get our actual residence permit finally.

And so, instead of the initial plan of taking the train to Geneva in the afternoon to begin our holiday, we decided to take the train to Annecy in the morning to collect our residence permit, and then taking the train from there to Geneva.

Upon buying the train ticket at the train station in Evian-Les-Bains, we were being told that all the morning trains have been replaced by buses due to the ongoing strike in France. It's more tiring and less comfortable to travel by bus, but we didn't mind, as we totally understand the difficulty that many working class people in the world have to go through as cost of living is getting higher and higher, but salary is not keeping up with the inflation. It's 'meh' to see many down to earth honest people have to spend many hours and effort into working, but still can't make enough to support basic needs, or barely get by, not that they are big spender on needless things and activities, while most employers/business owners are being inconsiderate, greedy and stingy, hoarding wealth more than they ever need in this life time.

We were grateful that we could still take two buses to reach Annecy and that we would arrive just in time for the walk-in opening hour between 1:30 pm and 3:30 pm to collect our residence permit. The Prefecture is located within a short distance less than ten minutes walk from the train station.

There was already a long queue when we arrived at the gate of the Prefecture just before 1:30 pm, as some people were already waiting in queue as early as half an hour before the opening time. However, we all didn't have to wait too long for the entire process that went smoothly. We thankfully received our residence permit in short time, and without any expectation, the residence permit is valid for 5 years from the date of issue. We thought it would be valid only for one year. Our residence permit is free of charge because my husband is European. I can also get involve in any kind of professions legally.

All our four times experience dealing with the different officers in the Prefecture were very nice, as all the people who work there - the guards, the front desk/ticket counter receptionists and the documentation verification and processing officers were all very friendly, patient and helpful, or even humorous, without the barrier or the sense of authoritarian superiority that exists in certain countries. Such humanized governmental process makes everyone more relaxed, which makes everything easier for both parties, as there will be less unnecessary complication arise under such welcoming calmed and relaxed manner.

After that, we headed back to the train station immediately to get the next available train to Geneva. We didn't have to waste much time. The next day we were in Porto for 5 nights and then Lisbon for 4 nights. It was a nice experience, where we walked a lot exploring the town without knowing much about Portugal, and without any planned ahead itinerary or things to see and do.

We heard before about Portugal is the cheapest country in Europe, however, after visiting several random grocery store and supermarket in Porto and Lisbon to check out the prices of everyday grocery there, we found that it's not any cheaper than France, especially when the salary in Portugal is a lot lower than in France. It's not surprise that more and more people are getting unhappy and frustrated.

During the flight back to Geneva, there was quite some intense turbulence due to rough weather, but surprisingly, this body didn't get sick this time. The couple sitting behind us were "Ooh La La!" every time the flight jerked up and down suddenly, which made me giggled so much. My husband and I joked about the pilot kept reminding everyone every now and then, "Make sure your seat belt is fastened," that made the minds wondered, "Is there something serious that the pilot doesn't want to tell us?" Anyway, the plane touched down safely, and many people were clapping.

We went straight to the train station in Geneva airport to get the next connecting trains back to Evian-Les-Bains. The cashier told us that there were no connecting train to Evian-Les-Bains since more than a week ago due to the strike. We could either take two trains to Annemasse transiting in Geneva, and then see what was available in Annemasse, or we could either take a taxi from Geneva to Evian-Les-Bains, which was too expensive for us, or we could take the train to Lausanne and then taking the boat from Lausanne to Evian-Les-Bains, which was also too expensive for us, as well as we wouldn't be able to be back in Evian until the next day, which meant that my husband wouldn't be able to get some sleep before work. And so, we decided to just take the chance of going to Annemasse, and see what would be available and possible there. If we had no other options but had to take a taxi from Annemasse, we'll let it be.

When we arrived in Annemasse, we found out that actually there were still trains running towards Evian-Les-Bains, and the next available train would be departing in 15 minutes. We immediately purchased our ticket from the machine and went straight to the platform. As soon as we came out from the train station in Evian-Les-Bains, a bus that could get us to somewhere closer to our apartment up the hill was already there. Usually, we would walk up the hill from the train station to our apartment, but since it was raining and we had been travelling for many hours, and the bus was there available to us, we just hopped onto the bus without hesitation. And the bus driver was very kind, where he dropped us closer to our apartment instead of at the bus stop that was further away because it was raining quite heavily.

Because we managed to get home before 8:30 pm, it meant that I could run the washing machine to wash the accumulated laundry. I learnt that it's prohibited to run the washing machine between 10:00 pm and 6:00 am (certain apartments until 8:00 am) in France unless we live in a detached house, which I agree with. Most apartment buildings here are not very soundproofed. In the last apartment, the agent told us that we were not allowed to shower or do any kind of washing between 10:00 pm and 6:00 am. That was ridiculous. Even though my husband told me that some people don't care about rules and regulations here in France, while it's not so much about obeying rules and regulations blindly, but out of freewill, I don't want to run the noisy washing machine after 10.00 pm which may cause disturbance to our neighbours, unless it's an exceptionally quiet washing machine. Many of our neighbours are hardworking people who go out to work in the day for many hours including spending time in commuting between home and work place, and they need to have good rest during the night. Some people leave home before 6:30 am and come home after 8:30 pm.

After we moved to this homely apartment and received our residence permit, we are finally settling in. Thank you.

All is impermanent, while being in the present moment.

Let's see what is possible, and let it be

Being in the present, is yoga.

The obstacles, or the difficult and challenging life experiences, that train and allow the mind to be in the present, is the yoga practice.

Being in the present, allows the mind to be free from unnecessary anticipation, projection, fear and worry upon coming in contact with obstacle, challenge, uncertainty, or the unknown, which is something very common in everyday life, particularly in this era where ignorance and egoism is predominant in everywhere.

That allows the mind to be free from unnecessary hesitation to take the chance to explore what is possible, in somewhere else other than this, as well as let it be, after doing one's best exploring some other alternatives or possibilities that are available or possible, upon coming in contact with something that is not possible right here, in this moment.

Things worked out in many ways that the mind never think of, without expectation, without trying to control everything to be the way that the mind thinks and desires how it should be.

Accepting or respecting the reality as it is, doesn't mean that one gives in to any obstacle, difficulty, or challenge, and stop trying or striving to reach one's destination or goal, but one can do one's best to seek some other alternatives or possibilities that are unknown to oneself, while being unaffected, undisturbed or undetermined by the existing obstacle, difficulty or challenge.

My life stories - Part 19 (Life and learning amidst impermanent changes and challenges)

My life Stories – Part 19 (Life and learning amidst impermanent changes and challenges)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

It has been more than a year since we arrived in France. Even though there will always be some ongoing impermanent changes and challenges in life to deal with, just like everyone else and anywhere in this world, we appreciate our life and the opportunity of residing here in France. This body and mind also get to experience life under four seasons and keep learning amidst impermanent changes and challenges.

In the beginning, we were staying in the hotel for two and a half months while going through the process of finding a 'long term but not really' living space to rent here in Evian-Les-Bains, as well as dealing with the prolonged legal documentation procedures for residing in France, which is still going on because there's a lot of backlog in the respective department since the pandemic started, where both process are equally time, energy and money consuming. It's particularly challenging for my husband, as he needed to be working full time under a new environment after living a slow paced way of life in Malaysia for many years, while at the same time, spending additional time and energy and money into doing all kind of paperwork and communication in French, which I can't help at all.

In April 2022, we managed to find a small studio apartment to rent nearby the hotel that was within our budget and eligibility. Its great location that is being very close to the hotel, as well as the reality of great difficulty to be renting an apartment due to the high demand and low supply in the property market here, was the main reason why we didn't hesitate too much for renting that studio apartment, knowing that it's only suitable for temporary stay, while we take our time to look for another more suitable living space. We were being 'reminded' by the hotel management that we needed to move out from the hotel before the end of April, as well as we ourselves also wanted to have a 'proper' living space, where we can prepare and cook our own food on daily basis, and so, we took that apartment, after seeing some other apartments that were in worse condition and of higher rent.

At the time when we visited that apartment, we already knew that there were some issues existing in the apartment, however, the property agent 'had promised' that certain 'important' issue with the apartment would be resolved within the next few months after we moved in, which didn't happen, but it had been causing us certain inconvenience, consuming our time and energy. After we moved in and were living there for some time, we started to be aware of some other issues that exist in that studio apartment, which were seriously affecting our physical well-being.

Not long after we moved in, I was suffering from back and hips problem due to the bad quality mattress and the fixed table and bench that didn't have the right height. I also suffered from repeated knees and foot injury due to the awkward way of getting in and out of the bed under the tight space, where I 'carelessly' knocked either my knee or my foot into the bed frame or the pillar for countless times, and also spraining my knees going up and down the narrow and steep staircase for accessing the tiny loft space that we used as wardrobe and laundry drying area, where there were a few times, I 'carelessly' missed a step and nearly fell down from the stair. I was also suffering from respiratory problem.

The inefficient heating system positioned below the non-insulated old windows that couldn't be closed properly, where cold air keeps coming in through the gap around the windows, couldn't warm up the room properly, was another common issue with many apartments in poorly insulated old buildings in this type of climate. Mold is a common problem that exists in many apartments in the old buildings here particularly in the areas that are cold and wet. Unless one has no other choice at all, it's not recommended to rent any of the old apartments that are not well insulated, as the tenant would be accountable for the existing mold issue that was already there before one moves in, but was being cleaned up before the new tenant moving into the apartment, and for sure the mold will be manifesting again during the upcoming wet and cold winter, even with the heating is on most of the time. It's unfortunate that the highly efficient energy saving floor heating that is widely being used in Asian countries like South Korea, hasn't gained much popularity here.

We had to wrap ourselves in many layers of warm clothing in the apartment even when the two heaters were switched on for many hours at the highest temperature available, while we were paying higher electricity bill for using those inefficient heaters that couldn't warm up the room efficiently. There were also some 'pests' issue during the warmer months, where hundreds of tiny 'pests' came out from underneath the flooring everyday, which I picked them and threw them out from the window, restlessly.

Another important issue, was that my husband couldn't rest/sleep well because of his high sensitivity towards light, sound and smell, on top of many years suffering from painful tinnitus. Two people living in a small studio apartment with squeaky wooden flooring and furniture, where the kitchen, dining, shower/toilet and bed are all within the same space of 20 square meters, on top of the non-soundproof wall between the immediate neighbours on the same floor, doesn't help either. I couldn't really move/do much in the apartment until my husband left the apartment for working at night, where I usually cleaned the apartment, washed the shower and toilet, cooked and had my dinner/supper, and did some modified stretching exercises in the middle of the night, and would wait until my husband came back from work to sleep at the same time as him during the day, to minimize 'movements', 'lights' and 'noises' in the room. However, during the warmer months, there were random people hanging out, chitchatting, getting drunk and shouting loudly in front of the supermarket that is right next to the apartment.

The shower/toilet in a tight space was also another issue, where we had to keep the bathroom door open when we wanted to sit down or get up from the toilet, as the door was just right in front of the toilet, while stepping up and down the shower box that was one step higher from the floor right beside the toilet, where the shower door can only be half opened being blocked by the toilet, is another awkward challenging movement before and after a shower. A space like that might be okay if there's only one person living there, as the dining table is right in front of the toilet, it's really inconvenient when someone is having a meal while another person needs to use the toilet making certain 'actions', 'noises' and 'smells'. When Marc's parents came to visit us in October, we couldn't use the toilet when we were all in the room (apartment).

And hence, the process of finding another apartment to rent had begun some time in October.

Of course, it's another few months of apartment hunting challenge, particularly for my husband who was already struggling with not getting enough rest/sleep/free time/personal space/privacy/daylight/fresh air, due to the existing issues while living in that studio apartment, and he had to spend his precious off-days to be dealing with the exhausting complicated documentation procedure with the different property agencies and apartments viewing, and then, dealing with the repeated hammering of great disappointment for being unable to get the apartment(s) that we thought was suitable, due to there are too many other candidates competing to get an apartment. It's understandable that he was getting tired physically and mentally for spending his time and energy to be writing countless emails, filling up forms and making phone calls during the day time office hours while he needed to sleep in the day after working night shift, communicating back and forth with the property agents, and after spending time and energy viewing the different apartments that we thought were suitable, and yet, we still couldn't manage to get one.

Some of the property agents put on the "Can't you see that I am very busy" attitude, because they are never short of business, as there are too many people desperately looking for a living place to rent, as more and more people are not eligible or couldn't afford to buy and own a property, however, we came across a young woman from the Bochaton Immobilier, who is very friendly, welcoming and informative, who is happy with what she does. It gave us a rare but nice apartment hunting experience even though we didn't rent the apartment from them, as it was not suitable.

Finally, one day in January, we found an apartment with a separate bedroom, separate shower/toilet that is not in the bedroom or kitchen, with a bigger kitchen and living space, even though it's not the most suitable apartment, as the rent is higher, while the location is not great for my husband where he needs to spend more time and energy into commuting between work place and home, and the shower has some defect, but everything else is significantly a lot more better. And more importantly, the owner wanted to rent his apartment to us. It's not perfect, but, that's the nature of everything. He said he was shocked that there were more than 40 requests showing interest in his apartment on the day he put up the advertisement, being compared to two years ago, there were only five requests, and there were four other people viewing the apartment at the same time when we were there.

And so, we moved again. Being busy with the moving, lots of cleaning and the many paperwork with different organizations for changing address/signing up new account/ending old account during the month of January, while knowing that we won't know the exact pros and cons of the new apartment until we moved in and live there for some time, living through the different timing and season, where different activities/things happen during different timing and season, learning from the previous experience.

After living here for two weeks now, we are glad to know that it's the right move that has to be done the sooner the better, even though it's not perfect, but for the sake of looking after our physical well-being.

We both find this apartment very homely. My husband is definitely having better rest/sleep, while my back and hips problem, as well as the knees injury and respiratory issue are slowly recovering, where now this body can gradually perform many of the yoga poses that it couldn't practice in the past twelve months due to the space limitation and ongoing physical injuries, although yoga and the yoga practice is not limited by physical and space limitation to be doing some yoga poses. It's about whether the mind has been developing the correct understanding, transcending the impermanent qualities of names and forms, being undetermined and uninfluenced by all kind of impermanent changes, challenges, pain, difficulty and obstacle in everyday life, being free from egoistic attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Even though it was cold snowy winter weather in the past two weeks, where the air temperature dropped below 0 degree on certain days, we were bare-footing and wearing only one layer of clothing in the apartment, with only one heater in the bathroom that is obliged to turn on all time during the entire winter, which we agreed with, and it works efficiently as how it should be.

I also have more freedom, time and space to be doing something in the apartment, such as preparing and cooking meals, cleaning and washing, doing some yoga exercise, or merely using the bathroom and enjoying the daylight, in the day, while my husband is resting/sleeping in the bedroom with the shutter down and door closed. The solid flooring also doesn't make squeaky noise when I move around in the apartment. There are two balconies that we don't use at the moment because of the cold winter, but they give us the view of the mountains and the sky, where we can make use the outdoor space in spring and autumn. The laundry get dry quickly because of the unblocked sunlight comes directly into the room for many hours in the day. It will be hot in the summer definitely, but, it's okay, as the hot summer is only for a couple of months, but the cold and wet weather will be here for many months.

Even though the apartment hunting process and the prolonged ongoing legal documentation procedure was a bit challenging for us, and the experience of dealing with some of the property agents were not that nice, but after one year living here, we are thankful to this country that has been very kind to us, where we are being looked after by the social health care and welfare system here, and in general, it's very safe and peaceful here in this little town, particularly.

All is impermanent.

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Understanding the suffering minds and their disturbing hurtful behavior with compassion

The minds that are aware of the modification of the mind, they are capable of having correct understanding under the presence of compassion towards the many suffering minds that would behave, act and react in the way that hurt oneself and others or the surrounding environment, while not being determined or disturbed by the suffering minds and their hurtful behavior, action and reaction, understanding that these disturbing hurtful minds are behaving in such way because they are under the veil of ignorance, that they are actually in great suffering, even if from the appearance, these suffering minds seemed to be finding relief, pleasure and satisfaction through causing inconvenience, disturbance, hurt or damage to themselves and others or the surrounding environment, deliberately.

The minds that realized compassion, they just simply couldn't act or react in the way that would be intentionally hurting anyone through any disturbing, hurtful or damaging behavior, action or reaction that would be causing certain inconvenience, disturbance, hurt or damage to others, even under intense disagreement towards some others who are behaving, acting and reacting in the way that is deliberately causing inconvenience, disturbance, hurt or damage to others, out of great disturb, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, anger and hatred in them, due to ignorance.

Understanding that, such disturbing hurtful minds are actually drowning in great suffering due to ignorance, where these suffering minds are ignorant towards what is going on in themselves, but either wittingly or unwittingly, externalizing and expressing their suffering of all kinds of disturb, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, anger and hatred via such disturbing or hurtful behavior, action or reaction that hurt themselves and others or the surrounding environment, deliberately.

The minds that don't know this, are peaceless, being determined, disturbed, angered and hurt by all kinds of disturbing and hurtful behavior, action and reaction in the world.

The minds that know this, are resting in unconditional peace, regardless of the presence of all kinds of disturbing and hurtful behavior, action and reaction in the world. Not that they are agreeing with, ignoring, empowering or don't care towards disturbing and hurtful behavior in the world, or don't perform any actions that might or might not help the world to be a better place, but, simply because they know and understand towards the modification of the mind, the root cause of suffering and the veil of ignorance, or towards human beings' disturbing, destructive and hurtful behavior, actions and reactions out of suffering under the veil of ignorance. This is nothing to do with forgiveness or accommodation as well. One doesn't need to accommodate such ignorance. Neither there's a need to forgive. Merely there's no need to waste any energy on such ignorance.

Understanding towards the suffering minds with compassion while not being determined by their disturbing and hurtful behavior, doesn't mean that one shouldn't move away from such abusive situation and allowing oneself to be abused by such ignorant behavior or treatment repeatedly, encouraging such ignorance. It has to come from the ignorant minds themselves to be aware of the ignorance and their ignorant behavior, action and reaction, to be initiated to free themselves from ignorance, and to stop behaving, acting and reacting ignorantly.

Look within, withdraw the senses that keep running out chasing after external pleasantness

It's normal and common that the untrained passionate egoistic mind would be looking out towards the presence of something pleasant and agreeable to the senses, the body and the mind, to be performing one's yoga practice, such as the presence of specific scenery, atmosphere, colour, shape, smell, sound, taste, sensation, visualization, position, direction, timing, accessory, experience, result, and etc, that the mind perceives as something 'yogic', 'spiritual', 'healthy', 'goodness', 'positiveness', 'auspiciousness', 'mystical', 'soothing', 'beautiful', 'pleasant', and etc, that are pleasant and agreeable for the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin, body and mind, that satisfy the craving and aversion of the senses which make the mind feels satisfied, good, positive and meaningful.

However, yoga practice is there, as it is, regardless of the presence and absence of pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable condition and situation or experience, without craving towards what appeared to be easy, good, positive, meaningful, pleasant and agreeable, without aversion towards what appeared to be difficult, bad, negative, meaningless, unpleasant and disagreeable.

It's not about looking out, but refraining the mind from running out, withdrawing the senses that keep going out chasing after the objects of the senses that appeared to be soothing, pleasant and agreeable to the mind, starving the passionate desire of craving and aversion to its complete annihilation, is the yoga practice.

There's nothing wrong with the capability and opportunity to prefer or choose something that is more pleasant and agreeable to the body and mind, but without attachment, identification and the desire of craving and aversion. The mind feels relaxed, calmed, blessed, peaceful, good, positive, healthy, righteous, grateful or meaningful upon perceiving, or coming in contact with something that the mind perceives as something 'relaxing', 'calming', 'blessing', 'peace', 'goodness', 'positiveness', 'healthiness', 'righteousness', 'grateful deserving', or 'meaningful', are merely part of the impermanent modification of the selfless mind. It's not the goal of the yoga practice. It's going beyond the mind perception of duality, or the annihilation of the passionate egoistic attachment and desire of craving and aversion towards the selfless impermanent quality of names and forms, towards the sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the sensations, the thoughts, the actions and the fruit of actions.

Go beyond the selfless and impermanent existence and function of the senses, the body, the mind, the states of the mind, the mind perception of a meaningful or meaningless/pleasant or unpleasant/enjoyable or painful worldly life existence of all kind of desirable and undesirable relationships and affairs, or the restless modification of the mind.

Regardless of the ceaseless and selfless mind perception of different conditions and situations or experiences, regardless of the different states of the mind, regardless of the presence and absence of ignorance and egoism, it's merely impermanent selfless names and forms arising and passing away. There's neither 'I' nor 'not I'.

There's no I to be identifying as 'I'. There's no I to be identifying as 'not I'.

It's very easy for the mind to sway out of the path, from time to time. It's neither bad or wrong. The selfless mind just needs to come back onto the path upon being aware of itself has swayed out of the path, without attachment, identification, judgment, comparison, or expectation.

Keep practicing.

Attachment and mental health

There's neither good nor bad about the presence and absence of worldly connection building and social interaction. The difference is about the presence or absence of attachment towards agreeable and disagreeable social connections and interactions, that is determining whether the mind (the state of the mind/mental health) is being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions, or not.

It's normal that the passionate egoistic minds that think and believe they love yoga very much and are practicing yoga regularly, might not like or agree with the teaching and practice of yoga and buddhism about non-attachment, or renunciation and dispassion. These minds, including many mental health professionals, think and believe that all minds can't live without social connections and interactions, where social connections and interactions are highly important for mental health, where lack of social connections and interactions is highly detrimental towards mental health, not knowing that, the main culprit is ATTACHMENT, and it's not really about whether there's sufficient social connections and interactions, or not.

Void of attachment, the presence and absence of all kinds of agreeable and disagreeable worldly connections and interactions don't determine the state of the mind, or mental health.

The presence of attachment towards the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable worldly connections and interactions is the reason why suffering/painful sorrow/disturb arise in the mind, upon the absence of, or the lack of, or losing the pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions, as well as upon coming in contact with, or the presence of unpleasant and disagreeable connections and interactions.

The minds that don't know what is non-attachment, or don't know how to remain unattached towards all kinds of connections and interactions, they would be spontaneously or autonomously attracted to, or admiring, or 'falling in love with' something or someone that appeared to be pleasant, agreeable, lovable, beautiful or meaningful to the mind, and being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of all kind of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions. These minds also have the desire to become physically and mentally attractive and admirable to other minds in the process of connections building and interactions, being determined by the presence and accumulation of pleasant and agreeable social connections and interactions for developing and empowering the sense of self-esteem, confidence, goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness towards itself and life existence, which determining, affecting and influencing the state of their mental health.

Even when the mind feels confident, good, happy, positive and meaningful about itself and life existence upon the presence of pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions in the present moment, this is impermanent. The mind will be in suffering, or the state of mental health will be 'bad' or 'disturbed', upon inevitable impermanent changes, upon the presence of unpleasant and disagreeable connections and interactions, and upon the absence of pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions, due to attachment. That is not freedom at all.

The minds that know what is non-attachment, where they can stay unattached towards all kinds of worldly connections and interactions, they can mix and mingle freely among the worldly community, if they want, but without being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of all kinds of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions. Such minds don't admire, or attracted to, or 'fall in love with' anything or anyone that appeared to be pleasant, agreeable, lovable, beautiful or meaningful to the mind, of what the mind perceived as 'goodness', 'kindness', 'righteousness', 'meaningfulness', 'positiveness', 'beautiful', 'cuteness', or 'attractiveness'. These minds don't need to rely on the presence and accumulation of agreeable social connections and interactions to be developing and empowering the sense of self-esteem, confidence, goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness towards itself and life existence, that don't need to be there at all. That's freedom.

Regardless of whether the minds like or dislike, agree or disagree, practice or don't practice, non-attachment is the core teaching and practice of yoga and buddhism. Without non-attachment, all kind of practice won't lead the mind towards liberation from ignorance and egoism, and the consequences of that. One can be practicing and/or teaching yoga to many other people for many years, preaching about awareness and mindfulness, while adopting a way of healthy living, clean eating and high thinking, but the mind might still be not free from functioning under the influence of ignorance and passionate egoism, being determined and influenced very much by the mind perception of a selfless impermanent worldly life existence of impermanent names and forms, worldly identities, activities, affairs, conditions, connections and interactions.

It's neither right nor wrong about the agreement and disagreement of the minds towards the teaching and practice of non-attachment. It's whether the minds are being endowed with the intense yearning for liberation, or not. The minds that are only interested in gaining some momentary physical and mental health and fitness benefits from performing the different type of yoga practice and exercises regularly, and developing the sense of goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness via the gratification of the desire of craving and aversion, through the presence and enjoyment of pleasant and agreeable names and forms, conditions, activities, connections and interactions, they don't need to agree with or practice non-attachment, as they wish. While the minds that have intense yearning towards liberation from the inevitable suffering of restlessness, of swaying between happiness and unhappiness, satisfaction and dissatisfaction, then non-attachment is the path.

The passionate minds advise the minds that suffered from low self-esteem, low confidence, dissatisfaction, unhappiness and meaninglessness to enlarge the circle of their social connections and interactions, empowering mental and emotional dependence, that give rise to momentary sense of accomplishment, acknowledgement, satisfaction, happiness and meaningfulness to the mind, while the teachings of yoga and buddhism advise such minds to renounce from the worldly connections and interactions for developing non-attachment and dispassion, developing mental and emotional independence, to free the mind from the root cause of low self-esteem, low confidence, dissatisfaction, unhappiness and meaninglessness, which is ignorance and passionate egoism.

Not that the mind will be free from suffering, or will be in a state of constant happiness or satisfaction upon the absence or cessation of selfless impermanent changes, but it is no longer being determined or influenced by the selfless impermanent changes within the impermanent modification of the selfless mind (the different states of the mind) and all kind of names and forms that it perceives through the senses, including this selfless physical body (the different conditions of the physical body).

A truly compassionate and wise teacher/parent/leader/senior/friend will allow the student/child/follower/junior/friend to become independent mentally and emotionally, where one knows how to love oneself, think for oneself, inquire the truth by oneself and look after oneself, and doesn't need to rely on connections and interactions with some others to be receiving love and support, agreement and acknowledgement, to feel good, happy, confident, positive or meaningful, regardless of the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions.

The mind that knows this, doesn't suffer from the sense of loneliness, even without any connections and interactions with anyone. The mind that doesn't know this, will be suffering from the sense of loneliness even when there is the presence of different kind of connections and interactions with some others, as it is always looking forward to be receiving ongoing attention, love, support, agreement and acknowledgement from some others. People might think that it's due to the lack of physical and mental companionship and interaction that is why someone is suffering from loneliness, not knowing that, it's the presence of attachment and craving towards receiving attention, love, support, agreement and acknowledgement from some others in order to feel love, good, happy, confident, positive and meaningful.

Inquire towards all kind of celebration day

There's neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad about the existence of all kind of celebration day or event, where many people like as well as 'need' to be celebrating certain things at certain timing for specific reasons, where people 'need' the existence of certain celebration day or event that involve certain activities and interactions among human beings, to ignite and boost the sense of belonging, happiness, meaningfulness, achievement, connection and togetherness, while some people are not interested or don't need to be engaging in any kind of celebration day or event, with or without any specific reason.

Anyhow, the existence of funeral is something important for many people to be able to 'let go' those who are gone, not just physically, but more so, mentally and emotionally.

All kind of celebration day/event/ritual are being celebrated by human beings on different timing under different reasons, either hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally, annually, and so on.

Although certain celebration day/event/ritual existed under certain ancient cultural and spiritual belief, values and practice along with the beginning of human existence long before the era of commercialism, most of the celebration day/event that have been continuously popping up here and there, are indeed the by-products of commercialism, to boost business or sales, a.k.a. profits, income, or wealth, for somebody.

The local/regional and international/global economy is very much being powered by all kinds of celebration day/event/ritual. The more type of celebration event existing in the world, the better it is for all kind of business/job/opportunity.

The mental and emotional health of many people, and the relationship/connection between human beings are also very much being influenced by the existence of the many different type of cultural and spiritual celebration event that generate the 'intention' or 'obligation' for people to come together, from time to time.

Some celebration day/event/ritual can be without the need of related 'objects', 'feasts', 'activities' or 'travelling' which require certain amount of 'inevitable expenses', where people don't necessarily have to be spending any money at all to be appreciating or celebrating something, however, most celebration day/event/ritual or funeral are associated with certain amount of 'inevitable expenses', where it can be 'financially difficult' or 'non-affordable' for some people, and even 'embarrassing', 'regretting' or 'guilty' for certain people.

In the event of funeral, some people cannot 'afford' to organize a so called 'funeral' for their loved ones. More money are being spent after death than while living for some people. Some people are depriving themselves while living in order to be saving enough money for arranging their own funeral the way that they prefer, if they think and believe that they need to have particular type of funeral for themselves after death under certain belief, values and practice. Just like many other things, funeral as well as after death's weekly, monthly and yearly ongoing ritual is a big money making business.

Certain 'crimes' also happened to be more frequent before and during certain celebration day/event or even funeral, due to different type of 'desperation' as well as 'golden opportunity for crime' that exist along with the existence of certain celebration day/event/ritual, or funeral, in certain cultures.

Meanwhile, certain cultural or spiritual celebration day/event/ritual involved with 'the sacrifice/offer of something in order to receive/attain something in return'.

Regardless of the different differences that all human beings identifying with as 'who they are' and 'where they belonged', where different communities under different cultural and spiritual belief celebrate different kind of celebration event on different day, everyone under all kind of diversities seemed to be celebrating the universal 'New Year' everywhere in the world, where the beginning of a year represents 'a new beginning', or 'a fresh start', or 'new hopes' for most people, that ignites certain 'spark' or 'motivation' to be performing certain actions, or to be achieving something, such as 'new year resolution' or 'setting intention'. That is something that all diversities could be sharing and celebrating in common, putting aside all kind of difference/competition/discrimination.

Some minds would feel bored, joyless, meaningless, or lack of motivation, if without certain kind of celebration day/event/ritual, to have something well-worth to be celebrating about or deserve to be remembering about, to be engaging in certain activities, connections and interactions among human beings, from time to time.

Some minds might even be disturbed and offended by certain behavior or happening that appeared to be offensive or inauspicious towards certain celebration day/event/ritual, or funeral.

For the minds that have transcended all kind of names and forms, time, space and causation, that have realized selflessness and unconditional peace, that are free from the influence of ignorance and egoism, that are free from being conditioned by worldly passionate egoistic thinking, belief, values and practice, that are free from attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation, would respect the existence of all kind of celebration day/event/ritual or funeral that have their own particular reason to be existing, however, these minds don't need to be engaging in or celebrating any specific celebration day/event/ritual to develop or boost the sense of belonging, happiness, meaningfulness, achievement, connection and togetherness, or to ignite the 'spark' or 'motivation' to be performing any kind of actions, or to 'sacrifice/offer something in order to receive/attain something in return', and they won't be disturbed or offended by any kind of behavior or happening that appeared to be offensive or inauspicious towards certain celebration day/event/ritual or funeral. They don't need 'funeral' to let go anyone physically, mentally and emotionally. They don't need 'togetherness' to appreciate all kind of relationship. They don't need 'specific timing', 'motivation', 'resolution' or 'setting intention' to be performing actions.

For these minds, every moment is nothing but the rise/beginning as well as the passing away/end of something. Every moment can be appreciated and/or celebrated yet there's nothing really need to be celebrated particularly on particular timing, transcending names and forms, time, space and causation, transcending the sense of goodness and badness, positiveness and negativeness, auspiciousness and inauspiciousness, deserving and undeserving, or meaningfulness and meaninglessness, void of boredom and loneliness.