Self love and self care

Self love and self care is commonly being understood as focusing on making oneself more happy or less unhappy by doing what will make oneself feel good and happy, or avoiding what will make oneself feel bad and unhappy, as well as pampering oneself in all kinds of pleasurable material and sensual enjoyments, or gratifying all one's desires of craving and aversion, empowering selfishness, ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness.

Self love and self care in the teachings and practice of yoga, is not about that, but it's about being able to have the self-initiation and self-effort to be looking after the over-all physical and mental well-being of oneself while still having certain degrees of basic essential awareness and sanity, by working diligently to be freeing one's mind from ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness, to annihilate the idea of 'I', attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, expectation, greed, pride, selfishness, possessiveness, separateness, discrimination, fear, anger, and hatred, to be attaining mental and emotional independence, where the selfless perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking mind is no longer being determined by the mind perception towards all kinds of selfless and impermanent names and forms, experiences, ties and connections, relationships, interactions, activities, affairs, events, conditions, or situations, that are pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, desirable or undesirable, and enjoyable or non-enjoyable, transcending duality, or the sense of goodness and badness, righteousness and wrongfulness, happiness and unhappiness, joyfulness and joylessness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, positiveness and negativeness, success and failure, pride and shame, deserving and undeserving, pleasurable enjoyment and painful suffering, and etc.

One needs to be able to be kind towards oneself unconditionally (stops hurting oneself/the body and the mind) before one can truly be kind towards all and everyone unconditionally, without discrimination, attachment, or expectation (stops hurting all and everyone out of a disturbed/peaceless/fearful/defensive/violent/confused/ignorant/discontented/ambitious impure restless state of mind).

To be kind towards oneself, is about the selfless mind is being able to accept itself as it is unconditionally, or accepting the condition of the physical body and the state of the modification of the mind, that are selfless and impermanent, as they are, unconditionally.

Only when the mind can accept itself as it is unconditionally, or respecting all the selfless impermanent changes in the body and mind as it is, or accepting the perceived reality in the present moment now as they are, then only it can accept all and everyone as they are, and respecting the world as it is, unconditionally.

Only when the mind is able to look after itself, or is able to be resting in unconditional peace, then only it can have the ability to look after some others.

Inquire the truth of everything.

Acceptance - Accepting the perceived reality in the present moment now as it is

There's neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, and neither normal nor abnormal in the many different minds with different conditions of the different functions of the physical body having different personalities, desires/don't desires, and experiences in different ways.

Some minds prefer to be alone most of the time, and would feel unease being surrounded by some others.

Some minds prefer to be surrounded by some others most of the time, and would feel unease being alone by oneself.

Some minds prefer to be balancing the time of being alone and the time of being surrounded by some others, and would feel unease when that is off-balanced.

Some minds have no problems with being alone, or being surrounded by some others, and it doesn't matter whether the time of being alone and the time of being surrounded by some others are being balanced in certain way, or not.

The moment the mind has intense attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, and expectation towards itself, its life existence, its functions, its conditions, its abilities, its achievements, its way of living, when/where/how it spends its time, effort, and energy, its activities, its experiences, its connections and interactions with some others, and the surrounding environment to be or not to be in certain way, there will arise 'problems', 'disturbs', 'unease', 'dissatisfaction', 'disappointment', 'frustration', 'unhappiness', 'joylessness', 'loneliness', 'left-out', 'exhaustion', 'fatigue', 'burn-out', 'meaninglessness', 'fault finding', 'blame', 'self-blame', 'guilt', 'regret', 'fear', 'worry', 'anger', 'resentment', 'bitterness', 'jealousy', 'admiration', 'aspiration', and etc, particularly when the mind rejects or doesn't accept the perceived reality of the experience in the present moment now as it is, that is not the way that it expects, likes, and desires. This mind is restless, or peaceless. This mind is not free.

If the mind is free from attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, or expectation, and it can accept the perceived reality of the experience in the present moment now as it is, even if it is not the way that it likes and desires, then there won't be any 'problems', 'disturbs', 'unease', 'dissatisfaction', 'disappointment', 'frustration', 'unhappiness', 'joylessness', 'loneliness', 'left-out', 'exhaustion', 'fatigue', 'burn-out', 'meaninglessness', 'fault finding', 'blame', 'self-blame', 'guilt', 'regret', 'fear', 'worry', 'anger', 'resentment', 'bitterness', 'jealousy', 'admiration', 'aspiration', and etc, arising in the mind.

This mind is at peace, unconditionally, being undetermined by the selfless impermanent changes, the selfless impermanent states of mind, the selfless impermanent physical and mental conditions and limitations, the surrounding environment, the ups and downs, the actions and the fruit of actions, the abilities and disabilities, the achievement and non-achievement, the pleasant/unpleasant and desirable/undesirable experiences. This mind is free.

Accepting that, "In this present moment now, this is the state of the mind, this is the condition of the physical body, this is the possibility and impossibility, this is the ability and limitation, this is the experience and non-experience, this is what the body and mind can do and cannot do, this is what the body and mind can achieve and cannot achieve, and this is the result of the action and effort. Regardless of whether it's something desirable or undesirable, pleasant or unpleasant, and agreeable or disagreeable, it is impermanent, it's not 'I', and there is no 'I'. It's merely some selfless impermanent changes/activities governed by the nature's law of cause and effect."

It's okay, and there's nothing wrong that there are some defects, or dysfunctions, or abnormal functions, or limitations, or disabilities, or illness, or injuries, or imperfections existing in this selfless impermanent function of the selfless conditional and limited physical body with the selfless conditional and limited perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking faculty.

It's okay, and there's nothing wrong that all the different minds have different characteristics, personalities, desires/don't desires, beliefs, values, reasoning, understanding/non-understanding, way of thinking, way of living, way of doing things, choices, actions and reactions, and the outcomes/consequences of all that.

All are selfless and impermanent.

Even if the mind can't let go of certain things or everything, and it is restless or peaceless, being determined and disturbed by the perceived reality that is not the way that it likes and desires, and it's okay, too. Accepting that, "In this present moment now, this mind can't accept the perceived reality being what it is, and it is restless or peaceless. This is also impermanent. It's not 'I', and there's no 'I'."

The perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking mind might be perceiving and acknowledging the selfless existence and function of the physical body is suffering from certain form of physical and/or mental defects or illness, however, the mind can have or develop the awareness of being aware of the existence of any form of physical and/or mental defects or illness without attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, and expectation towards the presence and absence of any form of physical and/or mental condition. All kinds of physical and/or mental condition is not 'I', and there is no 'I'.

Be able to make any necessary adjustment to adapt and accommodate any conditions and situations, to stay away as much as possible from connections, activities, and affairs that are under the influence of ignorance and the consequences of ignorance, and perform actions (including inaction) in accordance to the possibilities and impossibilities in the present moment now, without attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, and expectation towards the actions and the fruit of actions, is the essence of the yoga practice. All are impermanent.

Need not wasting life existence, attention, effort, and energy into dealing with connections, activities, and affairs that are under the influence of ignorance, or fighting against the minds that are functioning under the influence of ignorance.

Allowing all and everyone (including one's dearest family members, parents, children, siblings, partner/spouse, and friends) to take responsibility towards themselves, their states of mind, their thinking, their belief and disbelief, their understanding and non-understanding, their desires and don't desires, their actions and the consequences of their actions, their aspirations and ambitions, their duties and responsibilities, their choices, and for being what they are, where they are, and how they are.

Not being determined nor disturbed by the ignorance and the consequences of ignorance of others.

This is not selfish at all. It is indeed compassion and wisdom.

The mind that realizes this, is free, and peaceful, as it is.

Inquire the truth of everything, and be free.

Accepting and loving oneself as one is unconditionally doesn't mean that one doesn't need to inquire the truth of everything

Accepting and loving oneself as one is unconditionally, it doesn't mean that one stops learning and improving, or one doesn't need to inquire the truth of everything to be free from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

In contrary, out of unconditional love and acceptance towards oneself, one can be constantly and continuously keep learning and improving in all aspects, but without passionate egoistic attachment, identification, craving, aversion, comparison, judgment, or expectation towards the body and mind has to be or not to be in certain way, while performing all actions/duties/responsibilities towards oneself and/or others, including performing the yoga and meditation practice to inquire towards the truth of everything, to be free from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance, to attain self-realization towards the truth of selflessness and impermanence, and allowing the fruit of actions/duties/responsibilities/practice being what it is.

Such actions, duties, responsibilities and practice are being performed under the presence of correct understanding towards the limitation of the body and mind as well as acknowledging the possibilities and impossibilities in the present moment, without forcing the body and mind beyond its limitation, without hurting oneself and/or others in order to achieve certain improvement or accomplishment, respecting the possibilities and impossibilities in the present moment now, and knowing that all limitations/possibilities/impossibilities in the present moment now is impermanent, and will change.

It's normal and common that some minds that are functioning under the influence of ignorance would have intense disagreement towards self-acceptance, self-love, and contentment, where they think and believe that one would stop learning and improving oneself upon accepting and loving oneself as one is, or upon the presence of contentment. That's their freedom of thinking, understanding, desire/don't desire, and action/inaction.

Inquire the truth of everything.

My life stories - Part 20 (Balancing life and settling in)

My life Stories – Part 20 (Balancing life and settling in)
Stories from my past memories – childhood, family, friends, growing up, poverty, integrity, dreams come true, finding peace and happiness, Buddhism, Yoga, and now…

After working full time without a break for a year and dealing with the exhausting apartment hunting process, my husband needed to take a break, which is a natural cycle for everyone to be looking after the physical and mental well-being. We didn't have any particular holiday destination. The cheapest flight destination departing from Geneva that we found was Portugal, and we have never been to Portugal before. And hence, we bought the flight ticket even before we found this apartment. We wanted to fly out from Geneva because it was easier, time and energy saving, and it's closer to us than departing from Paris.

In the early morning of the day that we were leaving to Geneva, we received the long waited message from the Prefecture. After waited for 9 months, having visited the Prefecture three times and renewed our temporary residence permit twice, we were going to get our actual residence permit finally.

And so, instead of the initial plan of taking the train to Geneva in the afternoon to begin our holiday, we decided to take the train to Annecy in the morning to collect our residence permit, and then taking the train from there to Geneva.

Upon buying the train ticket at the train station in Evian-Les-Bains, we were being told that all the morning trains have been replaced by buses due to the ongoing strike in France. It's more tiring and less comfortable to travel by bus, but we didn't mind, as we totally understand the difficulty that many working class people in the world have to go through as cost of living is getting higher and higher, but salary is not keeping up with the inflation. It's 'meh' to see many down to earth honest people have to spend many hours and effort into working, but still can't make enough to support basic needs, or barely get by, not that they are big spender on needless things and activities, while most employers/business owners are being inconsiderate, greedy and stingy, hoarding wealth more than they ever need in this life time.

We were grateful that we could still take two buses to reach Annecy and that we would arrive just in time for the walk-in opening hour between 1:30 pm and 3:30 pm to collect our residence permit. The Prefecture is located within a short distance less than ten minutes walk from the train station.

There was already a long queue when we arrived at the gate of the Prefecture just before 1:30 pm, as some people were already waiting in queue as early as half an hour before the opening time. However, we all didn't have to wait too long for the entire process that went smoothly. We thankfully received our residence permit in short time, and without any expectation, the residence permit is valid for 5 years from the date of issue. We thought it would be valid only for one year. Our residence permit is free of charge because my husband is European. I can also get involve in any kind of professions legally.

All our four times experience dealing with the different officers in the Prefecture were very nice, as all the people who work there - the guards, the front desk/ticket counter receptionists and the documentation verification and processing officers were all very friendly, patient and helpful, or even humorous, without the barrier or the sense of authoritarian superiority that exists in certain countries. Such humanized governmental process makes everyone more relaxed, which makes everything easier for both parties, as there will be less unnecessary complication arise under such welcoming calmed and relaxed manner.

After that, we headed back to the train station immediately to get the next available train to Geneva. We didn't have to waste much time. The next day we were in Porto for 5 nights and then Lisbon for 4 nights. It was a nice experience, where we walked a lot exploring the town without knowing much about Portugal, and without any planned ahead itinerary or things to see and do.

We heard before about Portugal is the cheapest country in Europe, however, after visiting several random grocery store and supermarket in Porto and Lisbon to check out the prices of everyday grocery there, we found that it's not any cheaper than France, especially when the salary in Portugal is a lot lower than in France. It's not surprise that more and more people are getting unhappy and frustrated.

During the flight back to Geneva, there was quite some intense turbulence due to rough weather, but surprisingly, this body didn't get sick this time. The couple sitting behind us were "Ooh La La!" every time the flight jerked up and down suddenly, which made me giggled so much. My husband and I joked about the pilot kept reminding everyone every now and then, "Make sure your seat belt is fastened," that made the minds wondered, "Is there something serious that the pilot doesn't want to tell us?" Anyway, the plane touched down safely, and many people were clapping.

We went straight to the train station in Geneva airport to get the next connecting trains back to Evian-Les-Bains. The cashier told us that there were no connecting train to Evian-Les-Bains since more than a week ago due to the strike. We could either take two trains to Annemasse transiting in Geneva, and then see what was available in Annemasse, or we could either take a taxi from Geneva to Evian-Les-Bains, which was too expensive for us, or we could take the train to Lausanne and then taking the boat from Lausanne to Evian-Les-Bains, which was also too expensive for us, as well as we wouldn't be able to be back in Evian until the next day, which meant that my husband wouldn't be able to get some sleep before work. And so, we decided to just take the chance of going to Annemasse, and see what would be available and possible there. If we had no other options but had to take a taxi from Annemasse, we'll let it be.

When we arrived in Annemasse, we found out that actually there were still trains running towards Evian-Les-Bains, and the next available train would be departing in 15 minutes. We immediately purchased our ticket from the machine and went straight to the platform. As soon as we came out from the train station in Evian-Les-Bains, a bus that could get us to somewhere closer to our apartment up the hill was already there. Usually, we would walk up the hill from the train station to our apartment, but since it was raining and we had been travelling for many hours, and the bus was there available to us, we just hopped onto the bus without hesitation. And the bus driver was very kind, where he dropped us closer to our apartment instead of at the bus stop that was further away because it was raining quite heavily.

Because we managed to get home before 8:30 pm, it meant that I could run the washing machine to wash the accumulated laundry. I learnt that it's prohibited to run the washing machine between 10:00 pm and 6:00 am (certain apartments until 8:00 am) in France unless we live in a detached house, which I agree with. Most apartment buildings here are not very soundproofed. In the last apartment, the agent told us that we were not allowed to shower or do any kind of washing between 10:00 pm and 6:00 am. That was ridiculous. Even though my husband told me that some people don't care about rules and regulations here in France, while it's not so much about obeying rules and regulations blindly, but out of freewill, I don't want to run the noisy washing machine after 10.00 pm which may cause disturbance to our neighbours, unless it's an exceptionally quiet washing machine. Many of our neighbours are hardworking people who go out to work in the day for many hours including spending time in commuting between home and work place, and they need to have good rest during the night. Some people leave home before 6:30 am and come home after 8:30 pm.

After we moved to this homely apartment and received our residence permit, we are finally settling in. Thank you.

All is impermanent, while being in the present moment.

Let's see what is possible, and let it be

Being in the present, is yoga.

The obstacles, or the difficult and challenging life experiences, that train and allow the mind to be in the present, is the yoga practice.

Being in the present, allows the mind to be free from unnecessary anticipation, projection, fear and worry upon coming in contact with obstacle, challenge, uncertainty, or the unknown, which is something very common in everyday life, particularly in this era where ignorance and egoism is predominant in everywhere.

That allows the mind to be free from unnecessary hesitation to take the chance to explore what is possible, in somewhere else other than this, as well as let it be, after doing one's best exploring some other alternatives or possibilities that are available or possible, upon coming in contact with something that is not possible right here, in this moment.

Things worked out in many ways that the mind never think of, without expectation, without trying to control everything to be the way that the mind thinks and desires how it should be.

Accepting or respecting the reality as it is, doesn't mean that one gives in to any obstacle, difficulty, or challenge, and stop trying or striving to reach one's destination or goal, but one can do one's best to seek some other alternatives or possibilities that are unknown to oneself, while being unaffected, undisturbed or undetermined by the existing obstacle, difficulty or challenge.

Be compassionate towards suffering minds

It's not as easy as we would like it to be, to free the mind from suffering.

Though people might show sympathy towards other people's suffering, those who have always been having a good life condition, might not truly understand the suffering that some other people are going through physically, mentally and emotionally, due to some traumatic painful life experiences.

We can't tell people, "Hey, be grateful for all the little good things that you have. Stop being miserable."

We can't tell people, "Hey, be positive. Everything will be all good and nothing bad."

We can't tell people, especially when our life is in good condition, "Hey, life is so good. Don't be so unhappy and bitter."

People are allowed to be unhappy or bitter, especially when they are going through some difficult moments. It's everyone's freedom for whether they want to be free from unhappiness and bitterness, or not.

People might have gone through or are going through some really difficult or disturbing or painful moments, where we might have no idea how hard it is to be in their place. Even though people might smile, make jokes and laugh like everyone else, but deep in their mind, there might be some painful suffering that other people are unaware of.

It's not difficult for those who have realized the truth to be able to let go even the most difficult and painful experiences, without vengeance. But it's not easy for those who haven't realized the truth to let go what was/is deeply troubling their minds.

It's perfectly understandable that some of the suffering minds have become 'hard' and 'bitter', and we should be compassionate towards these minds that have become 'hard' and 'bitter' unwittingly, due to having been through some difficult traumatic life experiences that are not in their control and not what they wish for.

It's normal that the suffering minds that are 'hard' and 'bitter' would feel very uncomfortable or irritable, disturbed and disgusted when hearing the teachings of yoga about letting go, forgiveness and compassion. It might take them a long time to be able to allow the mind to be open, to be aware of the suffering, without identification with the suffering, but to stand as a witness towards all the painful life experiences, and be compassionate towards the mind has to unwittingly go through some difficult traumatic life experiences, and suffers. And as yoga teachers, we can only be compassionate towards these suffering minds without judgment, but with thorough understanding and acceptance, knowing that none can take away another person's suffering, but the mind itself to free itself from ignorance and egoism, the root cause of all suffering.

Have I fully accepted and love myself as I am?

"Have I fully accepted and love myself as I am?"

If there's something that we don't like or 'hate' about ourselves, may it be the physical condition and appearance, or the state of mind, or the personality, or the physical and mental abilities and achievements, or the relationships with everyone, or anything that we think we feel dissatisfied and disappointed about ourselves, and we want or expect ourselves to be a human being, or a person, or something whom we are not, then we haven't know how to accept and love ourselves as we are, and we will also don't know how to accept and love others as they are.

We will always expect everyone and the surrounding environment to be exactly the way how we want it to be and how we believe it should be, or else we won't be satisfied or happy. And we will never be. It is not because there's something wrong or bad about everyone and everything, or they are not good enough, but, it is our own ignorance and the play of the egoism that make ourselves to be in the state of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

If we don't know how to love ourselves, we also don't know the real meanings of compassion.

We might think we know what is compassion, and we want to be compassionate beings, and we want to perform compassionate actions, but we aren't really compassionate, if we don't even know how to fully accept and love ourselves as we are.

Be happy.

Think again, if we think we are compassionate beings...

Real compassion is unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance, forbearance, patience and respect towards all beings without discrimination of likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, based on what our minds believes what things are and how things should be. The mind is completely free from egoism, identification, attachment, judgment, expectation, craving, aversion, and all sorts of impurities like anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, feelings of hurt, feelings of guilt, regrets, ill-will, ill-thinking, fear and worry...

So, think again, if we think we are compassionate beings and identify ourselves with the quality of a 'compassionate being'...

Om shanti.

Be bold, if we want to be ambitious...

If we are ambitious to do something, then be ready for positive and negative reactions, feedback or response. Be bold.

If we only welcome 'supportive' and 'positive' response or compliments, but do not want any 'unsupportive' and 'negative' response or criticism, as it will influence us and determine our self-confidence, and make us feel angry or feel bad about ourselves, then don't do anything. Don't be ambitious.

It will save ourselves and others some unnecessary troubles. Or else we will be angry and unhappy when we receive some 'negative' feedback, and other people who come in contact with us also will be affected by our angry and unhappy vibrations.

Om shanti.

Being compassionate and the practice of acceptance and letting go doesn't mean saying "yes" to everything...

A friend talked to me about she feels that it's very difficult to practice compassion, acceptance and letting go in daily life. She feels that she has became too "easy" for other people to take advantage of her, and she feels sad about it...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There's nothing wrong that if you felt unhappy or angry or sad when you felt other people were not nice and unkind to you when you have been nice and kind to them... You should allow yourself to feel how you were feeling in that moment. But watch these feelings with awareness... Watch how these feelings come and go... Do not identify with these impermanent feelings... These feelings are not you or who you are... Know that everything is impermanent. Even this will pass...

Real compassion comes along with correct understanding, right discrimination and non-attachment.

It doesn't mean "being easy", or agree with everything, or say "yes" to everything...

When you think you are being compassionate, accepting everyone and everything as they are, and being available for everyone when they "need" you or your help, but at the same time, you feel very unhappy, angry and sad with people taking advantage of you or take you for granted because they think you are "easy" and "kind" or "stupid", and you feel tired and disappointed with family and friends whom you care a lot and you do your best for everyone whom you love but they don't show any gratitude or appreciation, instead they criticize you for what you do for them, then know that you are not really being compassionate.

If you are truly compassionate, you will know when to say "yes" and when to say "no"...

You don't have to agree with things that you don't agree with. You don't have to throw away all your belongings and relationships with anybody to show that you are practicing non-attachment and letting go.

You will know how to be compassionate towards yourself first, take care of your own well-being first, have peace in yourself first, before you can be compassionate toward other beings and taking care for other people...

In order to take care yourself, you will be able to say "no" without feeling bad or guilty when you need to say "no"... It doesn't make you bad or less compassionate. Being compassionate doesn't mean that you have to be available for everyone all the time. You need to have your own time for yourself, to eat, to play and to rest, to take care your own well-being, to retreat from the worldly affairs... Do not forget to be kind and compassionate towards "this being"...

Acceptance doesn't mean that we have to agree with everything and go along with things that we don't agree with.

Acceptance means "Able to allow everything to be what they are as they are, whether it is something that we agree with or disagree with. Nor try to change or control things to be the way that we want it to be... At the same time we do our best to improve without expectation that things will change into what we want it to be... Allow things to change into what they are as they are... Maybe it will change into what we like it to be, maybe not... It doesn't matter... We did our best, and let go..."

Letting go doesn't mean throw away everything, not having anything at all...

Letting go means "Whether we have many things or don't have anything, it doesn't determine us for who we are. We do not attach to all these things. We do not depend on things to be who we are, to feel good or meaningful. We can have things, but we know the truth of things is impermanent. No matter it is material belongings, relationships, works, enjoyments, thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, positivity, negativity, painful sorrow and etc... They all are impermanent. We are able to allow all these things to exist, change and disappear... We accept all changes as they are from moment to moment. When we don't have things that we want or like, we are still who we are, it doesn't make us any less good or less peaceful..."

When we feel unhappy about certain things, they will pass away eventually. When we feel happy about certain things, they also will pass away eventually. Good relationships or bad relationships, they all will pass away eventually whether you like it or not... Good health or bad health, they all will pass away...

Love yourself, be compassionate towards yourself, take care of yourself.... Be honest to say "no" when you need to say "no"... Sometimes we need to allow other people to show compassion towards us. We don't have to be the "strong" one to be there for everyone whom we "think" they are weak and they need us... We don't have to be the "compassionate" one and let other people to be the "compassionate" one... This is not selfish... This is the beginning of compassion.

When you know how to take care yourself, you will have full energy and joyfulness to be kind to other beings without feeling tired or disappointed... You will not be touched nor determined nor disturbed by your compassionate kind actions towards other beings or the reactions of other beings towards your compassionate kind actions. You are not determined nor disturbed by the fruit or the result of your actions...

You are who you are... You do not become a better or happier person when you show kindness towards other beings. You do not become a bad or less happy person when you need to take care of yourself, nor do you become a bad or unhappy person when other people don't appreciate nor be grateful towards your kindness towards them...

You'll never feel that you are being taken for granted nor feel it's difficult to be a good, kind and compassionate person...

If you are compassionate, you won't be angry or upset with anything or anyone... It's because you love yourself and be kind to yourself... This is more important than try to please everyone and make everyone happy, because you can't... That's why you feel so tired and disappointed after trying to please everyone to make them happy and satisfied... Everyone will be happy and satisfied as they are, when they found the inner peace and happiness within themselves through their own effort. We can only guide other people on how to reach this unconditional peace when we ourselves are peaceful, but we cannot take away what make them unhappy or not peaceful in the first place, or to remove their root cause of unhappiness which is ignorance or impurities...

Nobody is going to be truly happy or satisfied unless ignorance or impurities are vanished from their mind. It doesn't matter how other people tried to please them or be nice to them, they'll still be unhappy and dissatisfied as the root cause of unhappiness or restlessness or dissatisfaction are there...

We need to help ourselves first before we can help other beings... We need to mind our own purification to purify our own mind, without expecting other people will purify their mind... Let other people perform their duties and purification when they are ready and willingly to do so...

When we point fingers at other people criticize them "You are this or that...", actually ourselves are not any better than them...

No need to worry about other people's ego, just mind watching our own ego...

Be happy.

Free ourselves from anger and hatred, if we would like to contribute to world peace and harmony...

We cannot make or control or change the world to be peaceful as what we like it to be, but we can contribute to the effort for attaining/sustaining world peace and harmony, by having peace and harmony in ourselves, which means letting go of anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, pride, arrogance, agitation, depression, fear, worry and all other impurities in ourselves and stop generate impurities into the world... The world will be in peace and harmony naturally when everyone is peaceful and harmony in themselves...

It is like, we don't like the environment to be dirty with rubbish everywhere, we want a clean world, but we keep generating and throwing rubbish into the environment and we complain that the environment is dirty, full of rubbish?

How can we expect the world to be in peace and harmony when we ourselves are not in peace and harmony?

Why are we not in peace and harmony? It is because our ego has likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, craving towards what our ego likes and agrees with, aversion towards what our ego doesn't like and doesn't agree with... When this craving and aversion is not being gratified, when our ego comes in contact with the things that it doesn't like and doesn't agree with, and when our ego doesn't come in contact with the things that it likes and agrees with, it gets irritated, frustrated, disappointed, dissatisfied, unhappy and angry... The mind is in a state of restlessness... There is no peace, no compassion, no wisdom... Due to ignorance (absence of wisdom), not knowing the truth of things, we allow ourselves to be disturbed, affected, influenced and determined by our experiences in the world that our ego likes and doesn't like, agrees and disagrees with...

To help and to contribute to world peace and harmony, it is not necessarily by performing "actions" that try to "clean up" or get rid of the existing happenings that we think and judge as "bad" and "evil", but most important it is, we ourselves purifying the impurities in our own mind, have self-control over our own thoughts, actions and speech, and stop generating "impure" thoughts, actions and speech through our own body and mind... It is not about try to stop other people from performing "bad" and "evil" thoughts, actions and speech, or try to control and change other people to behave the way that we think they should be behaving, or to be the people that we want them to be...

When we ourselves are full of impurities, are being over-powered by our own impure thoughts, actions and speech, how can we expect or try to change the world to be free from impurities?

It is like, we don't like it when our clean shirt is spilled with some curry sauce, we'll get frustrated and upset, and we'll react by try to get rid of the curry sauce by wiping it with a clean cloth, with the intention to remove the stain... But, what happens is, the curry sauce on the clean shirt spreads out to a wider surface makes it more messy, as well as the clean cloth that is being used to "remove" the curry sauce is also stained by the curry sauce...

To avoid this, either we eat the curry with full attention and carefully to avoid spilling onto ourselves or other people (concentration and mindfulness), or we can enjoy eating curry with an apron over our clean shirt or wear a shirt that we don't mind if it will be stained (wisdom), or we don't mind at all if the clean shirt will be stained by some curry sauce, it doesn't matter if the shirt will be stained or not (accepting the reality as it is and non-attachment), or we can eat something else that doesn't stain or wash the shirt later on without getting frustrated by it (adjustment, accommodation, adaptation)...

There's another situation is like, we didn't eat curry, but the person beside us ate curry and spilled some curry sauce over our "favorite" shirt whether intentionally or unintentionally, and that's the time for us to practice accepting the reality as it is, forgiveness, letting go and compassion... We cannot undo something that had happened... Even if we express our dissatisfaction and frustration with anger and hatred, it won't undo what had happened, it won't help to make the situation to become better, it won't benefit anyone, not us, not the shirt, not the one who had spilled the curry sauce over our "favorite" shirt...

What we can do is, without frustration and unhappiness, we can see if the stain can be remove by some washing liquids... If it is possible, good, we can continue enjoy wearing our favorite shirt... If it is not possible, either we can let go of the stained shirt or we can continue to wear it even if there's a stain on it, treat it as a special design... Or donate the shirt to many countries where people don't even have a proper shirt to wear... Why bother getting upset about it, harming our own body and mind, for somebody's ignorant action whether intentionally or unintentionally?

If we continue to be angry and unhappy about it, know that this anger and unhappiness is not coming from the action of that person, nor it is coming from the incident about the shirt is stained by some curry sauce... It is coming from our own ego attached strongly to that shirt, it is the attachment towards this is "my favorite shirt", that has caused that anger and unhappiness in us... Imagine if that shirt is just a shirt that we don't mind so much, we won't be as angry as the one which is "my favorite shirt"... It is our own attachment towards the things that we like, that causes us unhappiness, it is not what is happening, or what other people do...

If somebody's things are being damaged by accident or by carelessness or by natural disaster, we won't be reacting the same way as if it is "my" things that are being damaged... It is the attachment towards "I", "my" and "mine" that has caused us unhappiness, anger and hatred...

"This is my world, my country, my people, my family, my friends, my partner, my children, my house, my car, my shirts, my things, my jobs, my reputation, my feelings, my money, my effort, my intention, my students, my teacher, my practice, my achievements, my thinking, my opinions, my believe, my rights, my freedom, my success, my failure, my sadness, my happiness, my way of doing things, it's all about my, my, my..." But when come to something happens and we are not happy about it, it will become "You this... you that... he this... he that...they this... they that..."

Yoga and meditation practice is to allow us to realize the truth of what causes us unhappiness and suffering, and start to take full responsibility for our own happiness and unhappiness... It is not the world making us unhappy or unpeaceful... It is our own selves, our attachment, our ego, our pride and arrogance, our ignorance that cause us unhappiness and unpeacefulness...

The world is not a suffering place nor a happy place... The world is just being what it is... It is our own mind being in a state of suffering due to ignorance, and we project the world as a suffering place...

If everyone can look within ourselves and work on removing ignorance in ourselves, purifying our own thoughts, actions and speech, and stop trying to control other people's good and bad actions (you should do this and you should not do this), naturally the world will be benefited and be peaceful and harmony...

By stop generating impure vibrations into the world, the world will be free from impurities, and there is no need actions of "cleaning up"... As actions of "cleaning up" are not necessarily helping the world to be peaceful but it might be generating more unrest, anger and hatred... Especially "actions" that derived or motivated from anger and hatred towards the happenings and people that we think they are the cause for our suffering and unhappiness, will not help the world to be better but it generates more tensions and clashes into the world causing more anger, hatred and disharmony...

How can we expect the world to be a happy peaceful place if we ourselves are not happy and not peaceful, being over-powered and occupied by resentment, anger, hatred, dissatisfaction and disappointment?

We think and judge ourselves as "good people". We think and judge those who are different from us, who don't think and behave like us are "bad people". We have strong aversion towards all these "bad people" and "bad happenings". We are angry and hating these "bad people" and "bad happenings". We think we "own" this world, that this world "belongs" to us (the "good people") and we want "our" world to be free from all these "bad people" and "bad happenings"... And we try to perform some actions that can get rid of all these "bad people" and "bad happenings"... With the expectations that the world will become as "clean" and "nice" as what we want it to be...

We think that it is the world being not peaceful that makes or causes us disharmony and unpeacefulness, that our suffering and unhappiness is contributed by the "bad happenings" and "bad people" in the world. We think that we are "good people" who "do" many "good actions", "don't do" any "bad actions" and we deserve to be happy and peaceful, but those (the "bad people") who are different from us don't deserve to be happy and don't deserve to be in this world...

We felt disappointed, mistreated, betrayed, hurt, disturbed and threatened by "bad" people and happenings that we don't like, don't want and don't agree with... We think they (the bad people) should be punished or disappeared from "our" world, so that we can be peaceful and happy, or "our" world will be peaceful and harmony...?

All these "judgments" and "thinkings" coming from our own minds, make us not any different from the "bad people" who we think and judge that they are "bad"... What make us qualified to judge them as "bad people" when we are not different from them? And if we are perfect and qualified to judge anyone, we won't be judging anyone anymore...

We cannot change the world to be the way that we want it to be, but we can contribute to help the world to be a better place by changing ourselves...

Stop having anger and hatred, but fill ourselves and the environment with peace and compassion... Real peace and compassion is free from anger and hatred, free from discrimination, likes and dislikes, agreement and disagreement... If we think that we are compassionate people who try to make the world a better place, but we are angry and hating the "bad" people and happenings that we think they are the cause of the world's suffering and unpeacefulness, then that is not compassion at all...

Compassion is when we are aware of what is good and what is bad, we do good and don't do bad, but we accept that there are other beings that are different from us, who might not do good and might do bad... This doesn't mean that we agree with them or support them... But we don't have to be affected or disturbed by them... We don't have to get angry and have hatred towards them as this is only harming our own body and mind, but doesn't help to improve anything nor will stop them from doing what they are doing...

Out of wisdom, we know that some beings don't do good and do bad, are due to ignorance, and they are in suffering. They are not peaceful and not happy, that's why they reluctant to do good, and they do bad to try to attain some sort of excitement, happy sensations or satisfaction, to get rid of suffering, dissatisfaction and unhappiness...

Out of compassion, we are compassionate towards these beings that are over-powered by ignorance and who are in suffering...

We cannot change other people or control them to be the way that we want them to be, or to behave the way that we want them to behave... Everyone has to realize peace and compassion within themselves, remove ignorance and change themselves...

Ask ourselves, how do we feel and react, when somebody doesn't like us the way that we are, doesn't agree with what we think and do, and this person try to control or change us to be the way that he/she wants us to be? We won't be happy... Especially if this person is full of anger and hatred towards us, shouting at us, beating us, just because he/she wants us to be the way that he/she wants... We will fight back with resentment...

We can only change ourselves... When we ourselves changed and have love, peace, wisdom and compassion, then only we can help the world with this unconditional peace and compassion to help other beings to realize the unconditional love, peace, wisdom and compassion in themselves through their own effort and own will to change themselves, to free themselves from ignorance and suffering... When they are free from ignorance and suffering, when they are in peace and harmony, they will be naturally not doing any actions that will cause harm and disharmony into the world...

If we are peaceful and truly compassionate, we won't be affected nor disturbed nor influenced by other people's ignorance and suffering, and out of compassion and with wisdom, we can help them, by helping them to realize their own ignorance and be free from suffering... Without the expectation that they will be benefited by our "actions of helping", nor they will change due to our "actions of helping", nor they will be grateful or thankful for our "actions of helping"... Just perform our "actions of helping" and let go... Perform all our actions out of compassion, and not attach to our actions, not attach to the result or the fruit of our actions...

If we are being affected or disturbed or influenced by other people's ignorance and suffering, we cannot help anyone, as we ourselves are over-powered by ignorance and are in suffering... We cannot help the world to be free from anger and hatred when we ourselves is full of anger and hatred... We cannot help the world to be peaceful when we ourselves is not in peace...

When we are angry and unhappy, it is our own responsibility allowing ourselves to be over-powered by anger and unhappiness that derive from our own ignorance - not knowing the truth of things. It is not the people or the happenings out there that cause us anger and unhappiness... It is our ego, our pride and arrogance, our attachment towards the qualities of good and bad, our ignorance that cause us being miserable, upset, disappointed, frustrated, angry, hating, agitated, disturbed, depressed and so on... We were being conditioned and controlled by our own craving and aversion... It is this craving and aversion coming from our ego that causes us suffering, disappointment, unpeacefulness and unhappiness...

If we ever feel disrespected or insulted or intimidated by somebody's speech, actions, reactions, opinions, behavior, conducts, believes, performance or personality, it is coming from our own ego, pride and arrogance which exists side by side with low self-esteem...

For example, if i hear or read about some opinions that my ego doesn't like or doesn't agree with, there will be some reactions coming from my ego...

Either my ego will choose to :

- Attach to it and try to do something about it, but being unpeaceful, full of frustration and anger, be disturbed and affected by it...

- Or attach to it and try to do something about it, but peacefully without being disturbed by it...

- Or not attach to it and let it go, be in peace undisturbed by it, as everyone has their freedom to express their opinions which are different from or contradict with my opinions...

It is up to myself, my own choice and responsibility, if the ego choose to be disturbed and be unhappy or frustrated about something that it doesn't like and cannot agree with, and make a huge debate or drama out of it, trying to convince and prove that my opinions are superior, better and "right", and any other opinions that are contradicted and different from mine are inferior, less good and "wrong"...

Or I can be aware that my ego doesn't like it and cannot agree with it, I don't have to force myself to like it or agree with it, but I can respect and allow any other opinions that are different from mine to be co-exist with my opinions in this universe... I don't own or possess this universe, I respect and allow all and everything that is different from my way of thinking, opinions, speech, actions, reactions, behavior, conducts, believes, performance or personality to be exist in this same space of the universe along with "me" and "my" way of everything...

Or I can be aware that my ego doesn't like it and cannot agree with it, I don't have to force myself to like it or agree with it, but out of compassion, without getting unhappy or frustrated, I can do my best to share my opinions with the world, as I believe my opinions might can help the world to improve, to be better, but without the expectation that the world will be improved or changed to be the way that I think it should be...

Why upset ourselves, hurting and harming our own body and mind by somebody's opinions and behaviors that my ego doesn't like or doesn't agree with? I did the "good' and "right" thing and didn't do anything "bad" or "wrong" according to what I believe is good or bad, right or wrong, but why do I allow myself to be hurt and harmed by other people's opinions and behaviors that are according to what my mind believes is bad or wrong?

We cannot force anyone to be the same like us... We cannot expect other people to behave the same way like us... We cannot change or control other people to think, speak, act and react the same way like us...

If we ever felt angry and disappointed by somebody's behavior, we are actually being angry and disappointed by our own expectation towards other people, that we expect them to be behaving like this or like that... When they don't behave the way according to what we think they should be behaving, we get angry and unhappy... It is not the behavior of the people that has disappointed us or made us angry... We are selfish... We want to control everything to be the way that we like it to be...

We were hurt, upset and disappointed by our own selfishness and ignorance, when we try to control or change other people to think, to speak, to behave, to act, to react the way that we would like or want them to think, to speak, to behave, to act, to react... And if they don't, we will feel hurt, upset and disappointed... And this turn into frustration and anger... We get frustrated and angry, being agitated and unhappy, thinking that it is other people's "misbehavior" that is disturbing us and is causing us unhappiness and unpeacefulness, and want to make or change or control other people to behave the way that we like and agree with... And we'll get more frustrated and unhappy as we cannot control or change anyone other than changing ourselves...

We are hurt and disappointed by our own selfishness as we cannot allow other people to be different from us... We want "our" world to be the way that we want it to be... We "expect" other people also will have the same ideas and desires for the world to be "the way that we like it to be"... When other people don't show co-operation to make the world the way that we want it to be, we get frustrated, angry and hating towards these people that we think they are "selfish" because they don't want to give support to our "mission", or they don't go along with our "brilliant" ideas and believes... We ourselves is being selfish but we judge other people who are different from us and disagree with us as selfish beings...

Do our best for what we think is "good" and "right", and let it go... Have peace, be in peace and share this peace without expecting the world will become peaceful... Allow the result of our "good" and "right" action to come by itself and to be what it is... Stop being angry and hating towards what we think is "not good" and "not right"... Peace will be there when we stop generating resentment and restlessness into the world... The world will be in peace by itself naturally, when we have peace in ourselves...

This is compassion... Just like the sun, the air, the water, the earth and the space... They are always performing the action of giving, providing and supporting to all beings to be exits in the universe... But they have no intention to be giving, no discriminations, no likes and dislikes, no craving and aversion, no anger and hatred, no judgments, no comparisons, no expectations, no identification as the doer of the actions and the enjoyer of the actions, no attachment towards all actions and the fruit of actions...

Real compassion is unconditional...

There's no anger or hatred, no disappointment or unhappiness, if we are truly compassionate...

We will be compassionate towards all beings whether wise or ignorant, rich or poor, good or evil, young or old, happy or unhappy, pure or impure, beings that we agree or disagree with, beings that we like or dislike, no differences...

Be kind and compassionate towards all beings including ourselves is also one of the beings...

Be free from anger and hatred is being kind and compassionate towards ourselves... If we can't even be kind and compassionate towards ourselves, how can we be kind and compassionate towards other beings, and how can we expect other beings to be kind and compassionate towards us?

Forgive ourselves and accept ourselves for being imperfect... Forgive others and accept others for being imperfect... This is compassion towards all beings...

We don't have to agree with "evil and wrong" doings... We are not supporting "evil and wrong" doings... But we don't have to be angry and hating towards evil doings...

Anger and hatred cannot dissolve anger and hatred... Anger and hatred can only be dissolved in compassion... Without compassion, there's no real peace and happiness as we will always be disturbed by what we don't like and disagree with...

Be happy.

my yoga asana practice part 3

Here is part 3.

For the leg lift exercises usually I do as many times as my body can do. Sometimes I do more, sometimes I do less. There's no need to count how many times. It is not important how many times we can lift the legs up, and it's not that every one can keep the legs completely straight nor can open the legs as wide as some people do, it's fine. Everyone has a different body type, different physical limitation, and different flexibility and strength. If the lower back is not strong enough or there's some back problems, then put the palms down side by side under the buttocks to support the lower back. If there's some injuries or physical limitations that you cannot perform certain exercises, then don't do it or make some adjustments. Even if your body cannot perform any of the exercises or poses, you still can practice yoga.

Love and peace has nothing to do with whether our body is strong and flexible or not.

Yoga is not determined by how strong and flexible our body is. Yoga is not determined by how many times we can lift the legs up, nor how long we can stand on our head, nor how far our fingers can touch the toes. It's about developing non-attachment and accepting the reality as it is at the present moment.

It doesn't mean that we are "bad" or "weak" in practicing yoga if we can only do 5 leg lifts, and it doesn't mean that we are very "good" or "strong" in practicing yoga if we can do 200 leg lifts. Just do whatever your body can do at the present moment when you are doing it. Every time or every practice it might be different. Sometimes the body is more energetic and sometimes it is less energetic. Sometimes it is more flexible and sometimes it is less flexible. That is the nature of impermanence.

Learn to be comfortable in all the exercises, not struggling and not forcing our body to go beyond its limitation. Relaxed into all the poses and hold as long as you can comfortably. Slowly the body will build up strength and flexibility.

Even if the body still not strong or flexible to perform certain poses after many years of practice, it's fine. That doesn't determine that we are good or bad in practicing yoga.

Learn to accept the condition of our body as it is, and be comfortable with our body as it is at the present moment now. Not comparing ourselves with our own past experience. Not projecting into the future what we want our body to become. Let the result or the benefits come naturally. Allow the strength and flexibility to come naturally. Even though we don't know what are the benefits from doing the exercises or not having any expectation from doing the exercises, the benefits will still be there. It won't increase when we know about it or have expectation. It won't decrease nor disappear when we don't know about it nor not having any expectation. Not comparing with other people nor try to become somebody else that we are not.

Be comfortable with ourselves for who we are, what we are, how we are, where we are, what we are doing and not doing, what we can do and cannot do. There's no craving nor aversion. There's no craving to become more strong, more flexible, more happy, more wise, or more peaceful... Because "we" are not determined by all these qualities... We are eternal peace itself. We don't become peaceful or unpeaceful, that impermanent changing "peacefulness" and "unpeacefulness" is just the impermanent state of the mind... We are not the mind, but we are aware of all the states of the mind. There's no aversion towards what we are now, how we are now, where we are now, what we are doing or not doing, what we can do or cannot do.

Peace is always there in us. It never increase nor decrease. This peace is not determined nor conditioned by the impermanent condition of our body or the ability of our body to do this or that...

Om shanti.