Attachment and mental health

There's neither good nor bad about the presence and absence of worldly connection building and social interaction. The difference is about the presence or absence of attachment towards agreeable and disagreeable social connections and interactions, that is determining whether the mind (the state of the mind/mental health) is being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions, or not.

It's normal that the passionate egoistic minds that think and believe they love yoga very much and are practicing yoga regularly, might not like or agree with the teaching and practice of yoga and buddhism about non-attachment, or renunciation and dispassion. These minds, including many mental health professionals, think and believe that all minds can't live without social connections and interactions, where social connections and interactions are highly important for mental health, where lack of social connections and interactions is highly detrimental towards mental health, not knowing that, the main culprit is ATTACHMENT, and it's not really about whether there's sufficient social connections and interactions, or not.

Void of attachment, the presence and absence of all kinds of agreeable and disagreeable worldly connections and interactions don't determine the state of the mind, or mental health.

The presence of attachment towards the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable worldly connections and interactions is the reason why suffering/painful sorrow/disturb arise in the mind, upon the absence of, or the lack of, or losing the pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions, as well as upon coming in contact with, or the presence of unpleasant and disagreeable connections and interactions.

The minds that don't know what is non-attachment, or don't know how to remain unattached towards all kinds of connections and interactions, they would be spontaneously or autonomously attracted to, or admiring, or 'falling in love with' something or someone that appeared to be pleasant, agreeable, lovable, beautiful or meaningful to the mind, and being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of all kind of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions. These minds also have the desire to become physically and mentally attractive and admirable to other minds in the process of connections building and interactions, being determined by the presence and accumulation of pleasant and agreeable social connections and interactions for developing and empowering the sense of self-esteem, confidence, goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness towards itself and life existence, which determining, affecting and influencing the state of their mental health.

Even when the mind feels confident, good, happy, positive and meaningful about itself and life existence upon the presence of pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions in the present moment, this is impermanent. The mind will be in suffering, or the state of mental health will be 'bad' or 'disturbed', upon inevitable impermanent changes, upon the presence of unpleasant and disagreeable connections and interactions, and upon the absence of pleasant and agreeable connections and interactions, due to attachment. That is not freedom at all.

The minds that know what is non-attachment, where they can stay unattached towards all kinds of worldly connections and interactions, they can mix and mingle freely among the worldly community, if they want, but without being determined or influenced by the presence and absence of all kinds of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions. Such minds don't admire, or attracted to, or 'fall in love with' anything or anyone that appeared to be pleasant, agreeable, lovable, beautiful or meaningful to the mind, of what the mind perceived as 'goodness', 'kindness', 'righteousness', 'meaningfulness', 'positiveness', 'beautiful', 'cuteness', or 'attractiveness'. These minds don't need to rely on the presence and accumulation of agreeable social connections and interactions to be developing and empowering the sense of self-esteem, confidence, goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness towards itself and life existence, that don't need to be there at all. That's freedom.

Regardless of whether the minds like or dislike, agree or disagree, practice or don't practice, non-attachment is the core teaching and practice of yoga and buddhism. Without non-attachment, all kind of practice won't lead the mind towards liberation from ignorance and egoism, and the consequences of that. One can be practicing and/or teaching yoga to many other people for many years, preaching about awareness and mindfulness, while adopting a way of healthy living, clean eating and high thinking, but the mind might still be not free from functioning under the influence of ignorance and passionate egoism, being determined and influenced very much by the mind perception of a selfless impermanent worldly life existence of impermanent names and forms, worldly identities, activities, affairs, conditions, connections and interactions.

It's neither right nor wrong about the agreement and disagreement of the minds towards the teaching and practice of non-attachment. It's whether the minds are being endowed with the intense yearning for liberation, or not. The minds that are only interested in gaining some momentary physical and mental health and fitness benefits from performing the different type of yoga practice and exercises regularly, and developing the sense of goodness, happiness, positiveness and meaningfulness via the gratification of the desire of craving and aversion, through the presence and enjoyment of pleasant and agreeable names and forms, conditions, activities, connections and interactions, they don't need to agree with or practice non-attachment, as they wish. While the minds that have intense yearning towards liberation from the inevitable suffering of restlessness, of swaying between happiness and unhappiness, satisfaction and dissatisfaction, then non-attachment is the path.

The passionate minds advise the minds that suffered from low self-esteem, low confidence, dissatisfaction, unhappiness and meaninglessness to enlarge the circle of their social connections and interactions, empowering mental and emotional dependence, that give rise to momentary sense of accomplishment, acknowledgement, satisfaction, happiness and meaningfulness to the mind, while the teachings of yoga and buddhism advise such minds to renounce from the worldly connections and interactions for developing non-attachment and dispassion, developing mental and emotional independence, to free the mind from the root cause of low self-esteem, low confidence, dissatisfaction, unhappiness and meaninglessness, which is ignorance and passionate egoism.

Not that the mind will be free from suffering, or will be in a state of constant happiness or satisfaction upon the absence or cessation of selfless impermanent changes, but it is no longer being determined or influenced by the selfless impermanent changes within the impermanent modification of the selfless mind (the different states of the mind) and all kind of names and forms that it perceives through the senses, including this selfless physical body (the different conditions of the physical body).

A truly compassionate and wise teacher/parent/leader/senior/friend will allow the student/child/follower/junior/friend to become independent mentally and emotionally, where one knows how to love oneself, think for oneself, inquire the truth by oneself and look after oneself, and doesn't need to rely on connections and interactions with some others to be receiving love and support, agreement and acknowledgement, to feel good, happy, confident, positive or meaningful, regardless of the presence and absence of agreeable and disagreeable connections and interactions.

The mind that knows this, doesn't suffer from the sense of loneliness, even without any connections and interactions with anyone. The mind that doesn't know this, will be suffering from the sense of loneliness even when there is the presence of different kind of connections and interactions with some others, as it is always looking forward to be receiving ongoing attention, love, support, agreement and acknowledgement from some others. People might think that it's due to the lack of physical and mental companionship and interaction that is why someone is suffering from loneliness, not knowing that, it's the presence of attachment and craving towards receiving attention, love, support, agreement and acknowledgement from some others in order to feel love, good, happy, confident, positive and meaningful.

All kinds of love and connection

Regardless of family, friendship, relationship, community, spiritual or transcendental love and connection, allowing all kinds of love and connection to be present or absent, and being what it is, as it is, regardless of whether agreeable or disagreeable. Without chasing after, longing or clinging towards all kinds of love and connection. Without expectation towards all kinds of love and connection to be or not to be in certain way.

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In certain social and cultural thinking, belief, values and practice, people are being taught about the benefits of making as many friends as possible, while making as less enemies as possible, in order to make life easier and less difficult.

The parents told the young children, "At home, you depend on family. Outside, at school, at work place, in career, in business, in social status and wealth, you depend on friends and connections."

The main intention and aspiration for building and expanding one's social connections and personal friends circle, is about getting as much love, care, help and support as possible, while getting as less obstacles and hardships as possible, in order to be advancing and attaining higher and higher success in one's life, career, business, status, or wealth.

People have the idea and values of "Friends are being there to be caring, loving, helping and supporting one another physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, especially during difficult times, where it will make life more easy and less difficult."

'Personal friends' or 'social connections' are being seen as one of the important assets that one should be accumulating and appreciating in order to be successful, joyful and meaningful in life.

People are being conditioned to think and believe that, "Having very few friends, or not having many friends in one's life, or not having any personal friends at all, to be playing, enjoying and sharing life with, or to be supporting and interacting with physically, mentally and emotionally, is something terrible and miserable, bad and wrong. Where one's life is doomed to be lonely, dulled, sad, joyless and meaningless, if without many or any personal friends, or life is doomed to be more hard, miserable and suffering, if without many or any social connections."

The sense of self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, success, positiveness and meaningfulness that doesn't need to be there in any human beings, is very much being determined by the quantity and quality of the personal friends circle and the social connections or social networking. Many people spend a lot of time and effort performing certain actions in order to be pleasing some others for getting the liking and acceptance, to be making friendship or building social connection with some others.

Some people who don't have spouse or children, or don't want to have spouse or children will be comforting themselves or be consoled by others, "I (You) don't have spouse or children, but at least, I (you) have many friends." Most people cannot understand that how come someone can be alone by oneself, and still be peaceful and happy, free from loneliness or self-pity.

Similarly, in certain worldly spiritual, religious and political thinking, belief, values and practice, making as many connections, members, followers, supporters and contributors as possible, in order to achieve certain selfish desire, aspiration or ambition, to be preserving, expanding, protecting and empowering one's particular spirituality, or religion, or political/national existence, identity, ideas, values and movements.

In the teachings and practice of Yoga and Buddhism, it's about letting go such thinking, belief, values and practice that is about making many personal friendships as well as social connections with the selfish intention to be benefiting oneself in certain way, to achieve one's personal desires and ambitions, or to get rid of loneliness, boredom and meaninglessness, but it's about be truly friendly, helpful and kind towards all beings without any selfish intention or expectation, out of humanity and compassion, without discrimination of 'friends' or 'not friends', 'connections' or 'non-connections', 'my people' or 'not my people'.

Be kind, friendly and helpful towards all and everyone, and provide necessary assistance particularly towards those who are 'truly' in need of certain help, within one's reach and ability, without discrimination or expectation. Being kind, friendly and helpful but ignorantly providing 'requested help' to those who don't really need help at all, but merely to be taking advantage of 'friends' and 'connections' to enjoy certain conveniences and benefits for oneself, doesn't help the world to have less ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

Free from the idea and values of "Making as many friends as possible so that one will always have some friends to play with at anytime, because sometimes certain friends might not be available to be there for oneself, but at least there are many more other friends that might still be available to play with, or to be there for oneself whenever one needs help, or whenever one encounters any difficulties in life."

Many people might not be aware of that is what they have been learning and practicing from young, as well as passing down those selfish thinking, belief, values and practice onto their next generations, which they think is normal, and there's nothing selfish about it.

In social and cultural idea and values,

"Friends/connections are something good and positive."

"Friends/connections are there to make life easier and less difficult, more meaningful and less lonely."

"Friends/connections are there to help one's career and business to grow and be successful."

"Friends/connections are there to play with, to comfort, support and stand up for each other, and to protect one another."

"Friends/connections are there for helping one another to achieve everyone's aspirations and ambitions in life."

"You are not my friend, or you are not a good friend, because you are not there for me when I needed you, and you didn't keep in touch or stay connected with me for so long."

In certain spiritual, religious and political idea and values,

"You support me, I'll support you. You help me, I'll help you. You scratch my back, I'll scratch your back, and vice versa."

"You disagree with me and go against me, or you disrespect and disobey me, I'll punish and hurt you."

"The friends of my enemies are my enemies. The enemies of my enemies are my friends."

In the teachings and practice of Yoga and Buddhism,

Regardless of whether staying or not staying in touch/connected, with or without personal friendship/connection, agreeable or disagreeable, one just be kind and friendly to all, without discrimination, without selfish intention or expectation.

The best help to all humanity, is helping and guiding all, without discrimination, to be free from ignorance and egoism, which is the root cause of suffering arising in oneself and inflicting unto others, and not empowering the ignorance and egoism in the minds.

Inquire the truth of everything.