How to be happy?

It's not about how I feel, and what I want and don't want.

It's not about how others feel, and what others want and don't want.

It's not about how others think and feel about me or themselves, and how others act/react and don't act/react.

It's not about what I can do and cannot do, and how much I have done and didn't do for myself and others.

It's not about what others can do and cannot do, and how much they have done and didn't do for themselves and others.

It's not about positive thinking, optimism and hopefulness.

It's not about give others happiness and take away others' unhappiness.

It's not about pleasing others to make others happy.

It's not about ignoring, denying, and supporting others' ignorance, so that others won't be unhappy.

It's about the absence of the idea of 'I' and egoism, in this mind.

It's about the absence of attachment, identification, craving, aversion, comparison, judgment, and expectation towards this mind and others.

It's about the presence of non-attachment, non-identification, non-craving, non-aversion, non-comparison, non-judgment, and non-expectation towards this mind and others.

 

Be kind to this body and mind, and let it go.

Be kind to others, and let it go.

May all be happy, including those who have been selfish, difficult, and unkind, and including this mind, that is imperfect, selfless, and impermanent.

It's okay that this body and mind doesn't know many things.

It's okay that this body and mind cannot do and achieve many things.

It's okay that this body and mind has certain limitation and weakness.

It's okay that if the mind still couldn't understand all these.

 

What others think and feel, and how others act and react, is others' freedom.

What this mind thinks and feels, and how this mind acts and reacts, is its own freedom.

Regardless of how much hardship, pain, and difficulty in this present moment, choose forbearance, adjustment, adaptation, accommodation, openness, kindness, cheerfulness, contentment, and peace.

Let go selfishness, bitterness, resentment, vengeance, jealousy, pride, arrogance, anger, and hatred.

If others are being ignorant, selfish, bitter, hard, difficult, unkind, wrongful, discontent, greedy, evil, cruel, violent, jealous, prideful, arrogant, angry, and hateful, let them be what they are, and let them go.

More importantly, this mind is not being determined or disturbed by them, being what they are, as they are.

This mind doesn't need to be like them.

This mind can choose not to become one of them.

 

If this mind can truly understand "May all be happy", and wish all and everyone "Be happy", unconditionally, this mind will be happy as it is, regardless of whether others are happy, or not.

Be happy as it is, unconditionally, it doesn't mean that there are no negative thinking, disagreement, or unpleasant feelings and emotions arising and passing away in the mind, but the mind understands that all these are impermanent, and it's not 'I', while not being determined, disturbed, influenced, or over-powered by all these selfless impermanent modifications of the mind, standing as a witness towards all these names and forms, without association, attachment, identification, craving, aversion, comparison, judgment, or expectation.

Regardless of what is happening in the body and mind, in life, in all kinds of relationship/ties and connection, and in the surrounding environment/the world, and whether it's something pleasant/unpleasant, agreeable/disagreeable, desirable/undesirable, or soothing/painful, the mind can still be happy as it is, if the mind knows and understands towards selflessness and impermanence.

Be open. Be wise. Be compassionate.

Be free. Be happy. Be peaceful.

Do cheerful people only have happy feelings and don't have any unhappy feelings?

Being cheerful doesn't mean that there is not any unhappy feelings and there's only happy feelings all the time.

There's nothing wrong with happy and unhappy feelings. It's part of the normal function of the mind to react upon coming in contact with the objects of the senses that the mind likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees with. Or, due to mood swing caused by hormones imbalanced. But cheerful people know that all these feelings are impermanent. They do not have clinging or craving towards happy feelings, or aversion towards unhappy feelings. When happy feelings are absent, they are still cheerful as they are. When unhappy feelings arise in the mind, they are still cheerful as they are.

Those who know non-attachment towards happy and unhappy feelings, they are not being determined by all these fleeting happy and unhappy feelings to be who they are, to be happy or not, to be confident or not, and to feel meaningful or not.

Cheerful people might have unhappy feelings when their minds come in contact with the objects of name and form that the mind dislikes and disagrees with, or when they are not getting the names and forms that the mind likes and wants. Or, when their hormones are imbalanced. But, they know how to let go of unhappy feelings more easily and quicker than those who have attachment towards all the perception of names and forms to be determining them to be who they are, to be happy or not, to be confident or not, and to feel meaningful or not.

The lesser and weaker attachment towards any names and forms, there will be less reasons or lower chances to be unhappy, and vice versa.

Those who have less demand and less expectation, who are less fussy and easily content, who are patient, tolerant, generous, forgiving, adaptable, adjustable and accommodating will have less trigger of unhappy feelings, and vice versa.

Go beyond the identification of 'happy being' and 'unhappy being'.

Keep practicing non-attachment without expectation until the mind is completely be free from any impurities that derived from ceaseless reactions towards objects of name and form influenced by the desires of craving and aversion.

We will realize unconditional peace that is beyond all kinds of happy feelings, and undetermined by any qualities of name and form, when we are free from the desire of want to feel happy and want to be a 'happy being', or don't want to feel unhappy and don't want to be an 'unhappy being'. But, allow all the happy and unhappy feelings to come and go without generate attachment or identification, without craving or aversion.

Love ourselves as we are even though the mind is not being happy all the time.

Be free.

Be truly happy and peaceful by free the mind from ignorance and egoism...

By doing something that will make us feel good and happy will only give us momentary good and happy feelings. This good and happy feelings will be disturbed and disappeared.

If we are looking for peace and happiness that is always there which doesn't increase nor decrease, then we need to learn how to free the mind from ignorance and egoism, and realize compassion and be truly compassionate towards ourselves and all other beings.

One can never be truly happy nor satisfied no matter how many things one can perform or attain through the body and the mind in the world of impermanent names and forms. If the mind hasn't be free from ignorance and egoism, then one will still be disturbed and determined by whatever the mind perceives through the senses, and be restless and unhappy from time to time, even though occasionally the mind might feel good and happy when it is able to do and attain the things that it likes and wants.

There's nothing wrong with being unhappy from time to time when the mind reacts towards the objects of names and forms that it doesn't desire, dislikes and disagrees with, or being unable to do or attain the things that it likes and wants, but if we don't have self-control, we might generate actions and speech that will hurt ourselves and other beings out of the unhappy state of mind.

If we want to be truly happy and peaceful, then we should realize compassion or selflessness by free the mind from ignorance and egoism.

Om shanti.

"How to be happy?"

I came across many times with this search word "How to be happy" that bring people to this Be Happy blog.

Instead of asking "How to be happy?", why don't we find out "Why are we not happy?" or "What makes us feel unhappy?"

There is nothing wrong with unhappy feelings. Just like happy feelings, they are impermanent. They arise in the mind, they stay for some time, they change, and they'll disappear from the mind, not in our control at all, and they are not who we are. It's just the egoistic mind reacts towards all the names and forms that it comes in contact with or doesn't come in contact with, based on what it likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees with, that generates momentary happy or unhappy feelings.

We are looking for happiness, or we want to be happy, it's because we are not happy. If we are not unhappy, we don't need to ask "How to be happy?"

Same as, we need to consult a physician or psychologist, to get some treatments or medicines when the body or the mind is sick. If the body or the mind is not sick, we don't need to consult any physicians or psychologists, to get any treatments or medicines to cure any sickness, as there is none.

If we know the cause of unhappiness, and work on eradicating the cause of unhappiness, there is no need to look for happiness. Naturally we will be happy as we are.

If we don't know why we are not happy or what is the cause of unhappiness, or we haven't eradicate the cause of unhappiness, then even though sometimes we feel happy, it still doesn't stop the egoistic mind to continue to experience unhappiness, which makes the mind restless and dissatisfies unceasingly. Even though we might find "happiness" in certain qualities of names and forms that we like and have, there's no complete satisfaction in the "happiness" that we attained from qualities of names and forms that we like and want, if we have attachment towards these qualities of names and forms that give us the happy feelings. As we will have fear and worry at the same time due to the attachment towards the qualities of names and forms that we like and have, to be happy or satisfied.

We will have fear and worry towards losing these qualities of names and forms that we think what give us happiness, or we have fear and worry that the quality in these names and forms that we like, will change into something that we don't like due the the law of impermanence.

This attachment towards the qualities of names and forms to be happy or unhappy, to feel satisfy or dissatisfy, or to be who we are, is due to ignorance and egoism.

There is nothing wrong with experiencing "unhappiness". It is the aversion towards "unhappiness", or "I don't want to have any unhappy feelings" that makes the mind restless, dissatisfied and unhappy.

"Who is feeling happy or unhappy?"
It is the egoistic mind or the ego that is feeling happy or unhappy.

"Why does the ego feels happy or unhappy?"
Due to ignorance, or not knowing the Truth of names and forms, we think and believe that it is the objects of names and forms that makes us happy or unhappy.

It is not the objects of names and forms that make us happy or not happy. All these objects of names and forms have no intention nor power to make us happy or unhappy. It is the attachment from the ego towards all these qualities of names and forms that it likes and dislikes, agrees and disagrees with, that makes the ego feels happy or unhappy.

It is the identification with the body and the mind to be who we are, and the attachment towards what our minds believe what things are, labeling and categorizing all the objects of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses as "good" or "bad", "positive" or "negative", "right" or "wrong", "happiness" or "unhappiness", that cause us to experience unhappiness.

When the ego comes in contact with the names and forms that it likes and wants, the ego feels happy and satisfied. When the ego doesn't come in contact with the names and forms that it likes and wants, the ego feels unhappy and dissatisfied. When the ego comes in contact with the names and forms that it doesn't like and doesn't want, the ego feels unhappy and dissatisfied. When the ego loses the names and forms that it likes and wants, the ego also feels unhappy and dissatisfied.

It is the attachment of craving and aversion towards what the ego likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want, based on what the ego believes what things are, that generate pleasant and unpleasant reactions towards names and forms, which then manifest as happy and unhappy feelings (thoughts). All the objects of names and forms are just being what they are, they don't have the quality or intention to be something good or bad, to give us happiness or unhappiness. They cannot make us happy or unhappy.

It is the impurities like anger, hatred, jealousy, fear, worry, agitation, depression, offensiveness, defensiveness, dissatisfaction, disappointment, feelings of hurt, guilt, and etc, that arise in the mind coming from the reaction of the ego towards what it likes and dislikes, that makes the mind to experience restlessness, or unhappiness.

When the mind is free from egoism, attachment, craving or aversion, ignorance, or impurities, that will allow the mind to experience peace, or contentment, it's not necessarily has to be some kind of "happy" or "elevated" sensations or feelings.

"How do we eradicate the cause of unhappiness?"
Letting go of the ego and all the identifications and attachment towards all the names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses of what it sees, hears, smells, tastes, touches and thinks.

Letting go of attachment towards the restricted and conditioned thinking and beliefs in our own mind. Be open-minded to allow other people to have different thinking, beliefs, points of view, behavior, action, reaction.

Letting go of pride and arrogance about who and what we think we are. Letting go of the thinking, the beliefs, the worldly and spiritual knowledge, experiences and achievements, the actions and inactions, or the impermanent qualities of names and forms that are possessed by this body and mind, that we think that is who we are.

Letting go of judgment, comparison, intention and expectation.

Letting go of the desire to argue, to justify, to complain, to criticize, to condemn, to curse, to gossip, to slander, to mock, to be right, to be self-righteous, to be superior or inferior, to be important, to be meaningful, to be confident, to be somebody, to be perfect, and so on. Do our best in whatever we want and like to do, but what we do doesn't determine who we are, nor does the desire of want to attain something in return be the motivation that motivates us to be doing something.

Letting go of attachment towards the worldly identity or self-image of who we think we are.

Letting go of attachment towards all our actions whether it's for ourselves or for others, and renounce the fruit of actions. Do our best, perform all our duties and responsibilities, and allow the fruit of actions to be what it is, not expecting it to be the way that we like or want it to be, nor being determined or disturbed by the fruit of actions. Unaffected, undisturbed, uninfluenced and undetermined by success and failure, praise and condemn, criticism and compliment.

We need to be aware of the ego and the plays of the ego in our everyday life experiences. Guarding the mind to be free from egoism as much as we can, and starve the ego by stop giving it what it likes and wants. This might not be a pleasant experience as the ego will experience distressed, it will resist and rebel.

Just like when children ask for sweets, they will feel unhappy and cry if they don't get the sweets that they like and want. If we think we love them and want them to be happy, and so we give them the sweets so that they will stop crying or being unhappy, but this will do more harm to them. This is the same as the ego.

We also train the mind to be in the present moment, free the mind from continue being affected, or disturbed, or influenced and determined by the past and the future which don't exist at all in the present moment now. Letting go of the past which is nothing but pleasant and unpleasant experiences and memories that were already gone. Letting go of the future which is nothing but countless imagination, anticipation, speculation and projection about this and that, which don't exist at all. The present moment is the only existence. And this existence is subject to impermanent changes. Due to ignorance, the mind mistaken this phenomenal of impermanence as the existence of "time".

All judgments about what is good and bad, positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, right and wrong, are subjectively coming from the egoistic mind based on the thinking and beliefs in the mind about what things are. It is not the truth of what things really are.

Just like when we perform the yoga asana poses during our yoga asana practice, when our body can do certain yoga poses, our egoistic mind will judge "It's easy." When our body cannot do certain yoga poses, our egoistic mind will judge "It's difficult." But the yoga asana poses themselves are not easy nor difficult. They are just being what they are. They have no intention nor quality to be something easy or difficult, or to be something good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable. It is just the personal reactions coming from the body and the mind towards the yoga poses, and generate judgment and comparison of different qualities based on how the egoistic mind perceives and reacts towards the yoga poses subjectively.

While learning and performing the yoga asana poses, the mind is being trained to let go of egoism, let go of the identification with the impermanent condition and abilities of the body, let go of the reactions coming from the ego of craving and aversion towards the different postures and practice, as well as let go of expectation towards the results or the effects of the postures or practice.

The yoga practice is being performed out of compassion, without intention to be attaining something in return, nor expectation towards the fruit of actions to be the way that we like it to be, but allowing the fruit of actions to be what it is. Without egoistic craving and aversion influencing the yoga practice. Without judgment or comparison towards the yoga practice and towards our performance, or the physical condition and abilities to perform the yoga practice.

All these observations will help to starve and eliminate the egoism from the mind. It doesn't matter how long does it takes to eradicated egoism, attachment, ignorance and impurities from the mind, just keep practice, without judgment, comparison or expectation.

Everyone and everything (whether "good" or "bad") is the teacher to be here to help us to see the ego and the reactions of the ego, and to let go of the egoism.

Sometimes even though we know the cause of unhappiness, but due to weak will power, the mind is over-powered by intense attachment of craving and aversion towards the qualities of names and forms, and be over-powered by the egoism and the impurities that accompany the reactions of the egoism towards the qualities of names and forms that it likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want. If we can free the mind from the influence of the egoism by letting go of attachment of craving and aversion towards the qualities of names and forms that based on what the ego likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want, then the mind will appear as it is, it is neither pure nor impure, neither happy nor unhappy, neither peaceful nor unpeaceful, neither satisfied nor dissatisfied.

The mind is just being what it is, it's nature is identical with the attributeless universal consciousness, that is uncontaminated by the activities or impurities that are projected in the mind. It is neither good nor bad. Neither positive nor negative. Neither enjoying nor suffering. Neither pure nor impure. It is the impurities that arise in the mind due to the reactions of the ego towards what it likes and dislikes, what it agrees and disagrees with, what it wants and doesn't want, that makes the mind appears to be pure or impure, happy or unhappy, peaceful or unpeaceful, satisfied or dissatisfied.

Develop magnanimity, forgiveness, kind and loving thoughts, and let go of animosity, anger, hatred, ill-will or ill thinking. Instead of cursing those whom we think and believe as "bad and evil" to be condemned to hell, or to suffer for their "bad and evil" behavior, we wish them be free from ignorance, and realize wisdom and compassion, peace and happiness.

Why do we want to be unhappy and generate some "bad and evil" thoughts, action and speech, as the result of being affected, or disturbed, or influenced, or determined by other people's behavior that we don't like or disagree with, that we think and believe as "bad and evil" or "wrong", when ourselves didn't do anything "bad and evil" or "wrong"?

Best of luck in your practice towards eradication of the cause of unhappiness. May you get all the helps and guidance that you need along the path of unconditional love and peace.

Om shanti.

Happy or not, is nothing to do with 'God'...

'God' doesn't make us happy or unhappy.

'God' doesn't give us happiness or unhappiness.

There's no need to blame 'God' when we are not happy. Same as there's no need to credit 'God' when we are happy. 'God' won't mind. As how can 'God' minds if He is almighty?

As even 'God' is almighty, He doesn't stop us from being happy or unhappy.

He allows us to feel what we want to feel, think what we want to think, say and do what we want to say and do.

It is our own full responsibility for our own becoming and feelings.

If we want to do good, we can do good even if we don't believe in 'God'. If we want to do bad, we can do bad even if we do believe in 'God'.

And so, stop dragging 'God' into our daily life matters...

Let 'God' be in peace, if we love 'God'.

Om shanti.

May all beings be happy?

If we truly and sincerely mean it when we say 'May all beings be happy' with the correct understanding of what it means, we won't have any unhappiness or dissatisfaction about anyone or anything.

We won't make enemy with anyone.

We won't hurt anyone intentionally, including ourselves.

We love everyone and everything for being what they are, as they are.

Ourselves will be at peace. As we won't have anger, hatred, jealousy, discrimination, fear and worry towards anyone and anything, if we truly wish everyone happiness.

We cannot make other people happy, it is everyone's own freedom and responsibility to be happy, or not.

But, certainly we can wish everyone be happy if they want to.

And so,

To whom we like or dislike, agree or disagree with, know or don't know, met or haven't met,

To whom who like or dislike us, agree or disagree with us, know or don't know us, met or haven't met us,

To whom we think they are good or not good, wise or unwise, kind or unkind, selfish or unselfish, pure or impure, near or far,

To whom we think they had hurt us, or is hurting us, or may hurt us intentionally or unintentionally,

To whom in our mind and not in our mind,

To all human beings and non-human beings, living beings and non-living beings,

To myself,

May All beings be happy.

x x x x x x x x x x x x

If we think we can't wish all and everyone to be happy, as there are some people or beings that we don't want them to be happy, or think that they don't deserve to be happy, and we want to wish them unhappiness and suffering.

It reflects that we are so unhappy and suffering. We are hurting ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally, when we are over-powered by such intense resentment, anger and hatred towards other beings.

Then,

May we realize compassion, forgive all and everyone, and let go of resentment, anger and hatred.

May we be free from unhappiness and suffering that derived from resentment, anger and hatred in ourselves.

May we love ourselves, be kind to ourselves.

x x x x x x x x x x x x

If due to any reasons, we think ourselves don't deserve to be happy.

Then, at least, wish all other beings be happy.

May other beings be free from unhappiness and suffering.

But, don't forget, we are also one of the beings that need to be loved and forgiven.

May we realize compassion, and love ourselves, be kind to ourselves.

May we forgive ourselves.

If we can't do that, then wish 'nobody' be happy.

As in truth, we all are 'nobody' anyway, and the selfless nature of all and everything doesn't need to be happy.

It is unconditional peace itself.

Om shanti.