The bully and its bullying

Bullying is a form of mental illness.

The bully is a person or a mind that is suffering from mental illness.

Not all forms of mental illness are violent, hurtful, or destructive, but the mental illness of bullying is violent, hurtful, and destructive unto oneself and others.

Bully and bullying exists in anywhere and everywhere. In the family, among spouses, among parents and children, among siblings, among relatives. In the community, among friends, among lovers, among schoolmates, among classmates, among teachers and students, among businesses, among bosses and bosses, among employers and employees, among colleagues, among neighbours, among countries, among leaders and leaders, among leaders and followers, among human beings, among human beings and other living beings, among all and everyone that are existing and functioning under the influence of a restless impure modification of the mind. It is the by-products of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness in the modification of the mind.

The bully has endless and boundless desires waiting to be gratified and fulfilled, and it wants to gratify and fulfill all its endless and boundless desires via bullying/threatening/manipulating/exploiting the others.

The bully thinks and believes that itself is more intelligent than many others. But unfortunately, they are not, because if they are intelligent, they won't be what they are (a bully), and behave as they are (bullying others).

It thinks and believes that itself is the one in power to be juggling/controlling/influencing/manipulating the others to act/react/behave or don't act/react/behave in certain way that it desires, that will make all its desires come true.

The minds that are wise (not necessarily intelligent), they won't try to juggle/control/influence/manipulate/bully/threaten anyone or anything to be or not to be in certain way. If they want, they can even help the others to develop sufficient knowledge or correct understanding that will help to unveil the wisdom within all and everyone. Highly intelligent and the accumulation of worldly knowledge doesn't necessarily mean that the mind is wise, or the wisdom within a.k.a. the knowledge of life existence, is unveiled to the mind.

Out of ignorance, the ones that were/are being bullied by some others in certain way, they might think and believe that in order to stop being the victim of a bully, is to become a bully themselves, that they think and believe it will make them feel strong and powerful, which doesn't work, because that will only be exposing the ignorance, low self-esteem, inferiority, insufficiency, fear, and weakness (powerlessness) in themselves. It doesn't make the sense of low self-esteem, inferiority, insufficiency, fear, or powerlessness in them to disappear. It doesn't really make them strong and powerful.

Even the most 'powerful' person in the world will still be troubling by the sense of low self-esteem, inferiority, insufficiency, fear, or powerlessness in them, if they haven't attained self-realization towards the wisdom within.

Those who have attained self-realization towards the wisdom within, they don't need to 'be powerful', they are powerful, selflessly, intentionlessly, desirelessly, namelessly, and formlessly. And that selfless power of wisdom and compassion, doesn't threaten, or control, or manipulate anyone or anything to be in certain way that is desirable and agreeable, but the mind is peaceful as it is, unconditionally.

The person becomes a bully, or the bully is existing, through bullying and threatening the others.

A bully is also a manipulator. Through manipulating and threatening others, it gains the power of bullying, to become a bully.

"Give me what I want, or else, I will punish you, and you will be in painful suffering. All I want is for you to be good and happy. I want you to be happy. If you make me happy, and you will also be happy. Be nice to me, and I will be nice to you. If not, I will make you suffer. You just need to do what I want you to do and give me what I want, and I will be good and you will be good too, and there will be no punishment, and there will be no painful suffering. Everyone is good and happy." - The common statement of any kind of bully.

The bully manipulates the others to think and believe that they are weak and dependent, and that they need to depend on it (not someone and/or something else), no matter what and how.

The survival of a bully is coming from bullying/manipulating/threatening "some others". If there is nobody being there to be engaging with the bully, then the bully and its bullying has no "target" to aim at, in order to be what they are.

The power of bullying or manipulation of the bully/manipulator is being given and empowered by the others whom themselves ignorantly/willingly to give in or surrender to the desires or the threats/bullying/manipulations of the bully/manipulator.

If all and everyone just stop thinking and believing that themselves are weak and dependent, that they can never be strong and independent as being told by the bully/manipulator, where they realize that they are weak and dependent is because they were/are being bullied/threatened/manipulated by the bully/manipulator to think and believe that they are weak and dependent, and hence, they (can) stop gratifying the desires (not giving in or surrender to the threats) of the bully/manipulator, then the bully/manipulator will loose its power to bully and manipulate anyone or anything.

The bully or the manipulator, as well as the exploiter, cannot exist or cannot have the power to be what they are, if they are no others being there to be engaging with them, being the ones that are being bullied, or manipulated, or exploited by them.

Even if someone is really physically/mentally/financially weak, and needed to be dependent on some others to survive, it doesn't need to and shouldn't be dependent on someone who is a bully. It can look out for and depend on some others who are not a bully, but with kindness and wisdom, who don't need to be a bully to be bullying others in order to gratify their desires. There are many others who are not a bully, who don't need to survive or to be 'superior, strong, and powerful' by bullying others.

To stop the existence of any kind of bully and bullying, all and everyone just need to stop giving in to or gratifying the desires of the bully, that stops empowering the bully and its bullying, and eventually, the bully will no longer have the power of bullying to bully anyone or anything.

Once give in, it will be more difficult to be free from the bully and its bullying. Because upon each time giving in, it will be empowering the bully and its bullying. The bullying will never come to an end, not until the bully looses the power of bullying that is empowered by those who give in to the desires/bullying/threats/manipulations/exploitation of the bully.

Want to stop any kind of bully and its bullying? Then stop empowering all that.

Stop engaging with the bully.

Stop negotiating with the bully.

Leave the bully to be by itself, to be engaging and negotiating with itself.

No doubt that, the bully and its bullying has certain power being given, powered, and empowered by those who give in to the bully and its bullying.

But the selfless wisdom and compassion of nature, that exists in all and everyone, and the nature's law of cause and effect, is even more powerful.

Many people might think and believe that the bully is fearless, that is why it is a bully that bullies others, but actually, it's the exact contrary. Those who are fearless don't need to bully anyone or anything, not to say, to be bullied by someone or something. Both the bully and the bullied are all acting/reacting/behaving under the presence of fear.

Most people (except the ones that are selfish, ignorant, greedy, violent, and destructive) want to be living under a peaceful and harmonious living environment that is conducive for enjoying either a comfortable life existence all by oneself, or have a pleasant relationship and interaction with all the others in the surrounding environment. By inflicting violent, hurtful, and destructive action/reaction/behavior unto others and the surrounding environment will only destroy the peaceful and harmonious living environment, where all and everyone, including those who inflict violent, hurtful, and destructive action/reaction/behavior unto others and the surrounding environment, won't be able to survive or make a living, not to say, to be enjoying either a comfortable life existence all by oneself, or have a pleasant relationship and interaction with all the others in the surrounding environment.

The difference between a mind that wants (needs) to bully others and a mind that doesn't need to bully anyone or anything -

The mind that doesn't bully, knows and understands what the bully doesn't know and doesn't understand. No matter how much 'power' and 'control' that the bully thinks and believes that it has, that comes from bullying/threatening/manipulating/oppressing/exploiting/punishing/hurting the others, it is always being in a state of inferiority than those who don't need to bully anyone or anything, because there is something that it doesn't know and doesn't understand, that many others know and understand.

The more the mind wants to be more superior or powerful than the others, the more inferior and powerless is the mind than all the others.

If you think you are a victim of a bully, you just need to know that you are, and will always be, more superior and powerful than the bully, without the need of being a bully yourself. All you need to do is, not accepting the bullying, and walk away, and leave the bully by itself.

The bully will beg you and everyone that it bullies, "Please come back, and let me bully you. I love you. I will always love you. Please come back. I need you to be here for me to be a bully. If everyone leaves me, there is nobody here for me to bully."

 

Controlling others is not self control.

Discipline/punish others is not self discipline.

It is harmful and destructive in the intention and action of controlling and disciplining others.

It is beneficial and constructive in the intention and action of self control and self discipline.

And more importantly, self discipline is not about self punishment or be disciplined/punished by others.

Self discipline is about coming from the selfless thinking and acting faculty (the selfless mind) itself, out of its own desire or freewill, to be purifying, filtering, and quieting its own restless impure egoistic modification of the mind, a.k.a. removing/annihilating the veil of ignorance that is veiling the existing absolute knowledge of the selfless impermanent limited and conditional life existence, and hence, enabling the selfless thinking and acting faculty to be knowing/realizing the selfless intentionless attributeless timeless unlimited and unconditional wisdom and compassion (the selfless intentionless power of nature that enables all and everything to be forming/existing, changing, decaying and disintegrating/ceased existing), that is always there, within the selfless impermanent limited and conditional existence and function of the selfless perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting faculty of the selfless physical body, where all these names and forms are selfless, impermanent, limited, and conditional, that only exists for a momentary duration in this infinite space that doesn't belong to anyone or anything.

There is no violence, or hurtful action/reaction/behavior unto oneself or others in self discipline.

Inquire towards the truth of everything.

It's about be free from fear, it's never about sowing and empowering fear

The essential teachings and practices of yoga and/or buddhism is very much about peace, which is also about freeing the mind from fear, or the sense of separateness. It's never about sowing and empowering fear in the minds with all kinds of authoritarian conditions, rules and regulations, oppression, threat, intimidation, judgment, punishment, violence, painful sorrow, and suffering.

Ignorance and the idea of 'I' give rise to the sense of separateness.

Separateness gives rise to fear.

Upon the realization of selflessness and impermanence, upon the absence of ignorance and the idea of 'I', the mind that is devoid of the sense of separateness, is devoid of fear.

Peace is absence upon the presence of fear, as well as other kind of impurities and restlessness.

Peace is there as it is upon the absence of fear, as well as other kind of impurities and restlessness.

Yoga and buddhism is all about peace, or fearlessness, as well as the absence of all kinds of impurities and restlessness.

Peace is of two kinds - conditional peace and unconditional peace.

There's nothing wrong with conditional peace that is there upon the absence of unpleasant, undesirable, disagreeable, and disturbing experiences, and upon the presence of pleasant, desirable, agreeable, and soothing experiences. However, this conditional peace is still part of the impermanent manifestation within the modification/states of the mind that is determined by the mind perception of names and forms, or experiences, or the energy fields and elements, where it will change and pass away.

Just as the momentary effect deriving from performing certain yoga practice that can help to render the mind calm and quiet. It's relieving 'the symptoms', but it's not the solution of eradicating 'the cause of the symptoms'. However, the momentary conditional peace is also important as it enables the mind to have a few moments of momentary calmness that is essential for inquiring towards the truth of names and forms, that would lead to the realization of unconditional peace.

Unconditional peace, is beyond the selfless impermanent modification/state of the mind, that neither increase nor decrease, undetermined and unaffected by the mind perception of names and forms, or all kinds of desirable and undesirable experiences.

It's the realization and understanding towards selflessness and impermanence in both the perceiver and the perceived, where the selfless existence and function of the perceptive mind as well as the perceived names and forms are all selfless and impermanent, that enables the selfless perceptive thinking and acting mind to transcend the impermanent modification/state of the mind, being undetermined or undisturbed by the selfless impermanent modification/state of the mind, of all kinds of perceived names and forms ceaselessly arising, changing, and passing away, of different states of the mind arising, changing, and passing away.

The names and forms, or all kinds of experiences, are just being what they are. They don't have the quality to be something pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, desirable or undesirable, positive or negative, right or wrong, good or bad, meaningful or meaningless, joyful or joyless, deserving or non-deserving, and so on. It's coming from the mind itself, of how the mind reacts towards the names and forms, or all kinds of experiences, where the mind categorized this or that as pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, desirable or undesirable, positive or negative, right or wrong, good or bad, meaningful or meaningless, joyful or joyless, deserving or non-deserving, and so on, based on the existing likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, desires and don't desires, under the influence of the particular thinking, belief, values, and practices in the mind.

This fearlessness, or the absence of fear under the truth of selflessness and impermanence, where the mind is resting in unconditional peace, is nothing to do with the presence of 'courage' where the mind is 'fearless' towards performing all kinds of actions and activities, ignorantly, even if it's something that gives rise to unnecessary damaging consequences or inconveniences unto oneself and/or others and the surrounding environment, regardless of whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Inquire towards all kinds of beliefs, values, and practices in the world of passionate egoism and desire, as well as certain 'teachings and practices' in the world of yoga and/or buddhism.

The mind will see that most of the beliefs, values, and practices in the world are mostly about sowing and empowering fear in the minds, while at the same time, propagating 'conditional' peace and love in the way of, "I will love you, and you will have peace, if you ..." and "I won't love you, and you will suffer (or more precisely, I will make you suffer), if you ..."

If there are certain 'teachings and practices' of yoga and/or buddhism that appeared to be sowing and empowering fear in the mind with many kinds of 'threats and punishments', then know that it's nothing to do with yoga and/or buddhism, but it's something created by the minds under the influence of ignorance and egoism, impurities and restlessness, possessiveness and desire, where those 'teachings' and 'practices' are under the influence of certain worldly passionate egoistic beliefs, values, and practices.

That's why it is highly important not to be blind-believing, blind-following, and blind-practicing, but be open-minded to be performing self-inquiry towards the truth of everything, including all kinds of teachings of yoga and/or buddhism coming from everyone and everywhere, including what is here.

If taking up and practicing certain teachings or disciplines makes life existence becoming more simple and less complicated, and renders the mind becoming more peaceful and has less fear, even if there are some inevitable struggles and challenges due the process of mind purification and changing the mind behavior pattern, but not due to fear towards the existence of certain 'authoritarian threats and punishments', then one is on the right path. And vice versa.

For the sake of looking after the well-being of oneself and/or others, to be free from ignorance and the by-products and consequences of ignorance, the mind is performing all kinds of practices or disciplines out of it's own freewill and desire, without judgment or expectation towards oneself and others, and not out of fear towards many different kinds of threats and punishments.

Inquire the truth of everything.

The most powerful thing in the world, and beyond that

It's unpleasant, disturbing, and even can be life threatening upon coming in contact with difficult situation where one is being discriminated, bullied and threatened with violent abusive behavior, bullying and threats by those who are under the influence of deep ignorance. It's an unfortunate and painful experience, and truly unnecessary event to be happening onto anyone.

One doesn't need to become and behave like those ignorant human beings, where the mind thinks and believes that in order not to be discriminated, bullied and threatened by anyone, one needs to be more powerful than all the others by being more violent, aggressive and cruel than everyone else.

Real power is not coming from being violent, aggressive and cruel to be over-powering all the others, or being charming, persuasive and influential to be captivating all the others to become submissive towards oneself, and to act and behave in accordance to one's commands/desires.

Power is not about the ability of in control of all and everything.

It's about having self-awareness and self-control of not harming oneself or others. One doesn't need to become a bully or a nasty person just because one has been or is being bullied and ill-treated by some others who are ignorant. That's power. Being able to reject or walk away from violent fighting against one another that would cause unnecessary damages towards one another and the surrounding environment, is wisdom. That's power.

The most powerful thing in this world is the nature law of IMPERMANENCE. None, and nothing, can escape impermanence. The so called most 'powerful', 'wealthy', 'knowledgeable', 'successful' person and the champion of all champions in the world, will also have to bow down to IMPERMANENCE.

However, there's something beyond that, which is the knowledge and effort of transcending or going beyond IMPERMANENCE.

One can transcend or go beyond IMPERMANENCE, upon the attainment of the real liberation/independence/freedom in the mind, or SILENCE (selflessness/desirelessness), or the realization of unconditional peace from within, despite all kinds of inevitable impermanent changes and all kinds of 'difficulties', 'ridiculousness' and 'chaos' that are existing in the world, being free from ignorance and all kinds of incorrect thinking, desires or impurities deriving from ignorance, while having the correct understanding/wisdom/knowledge towards the modification of the mind, or the play of ignorance and egoism, and respecting the law of selflessness and impermanence in all kinds of names and forms, that enables one being undetermined and undisturbed by all kinds of impermanent changes, ignorance and the consequences of ignorance in the world, without the idea/urge/desire/action to be interfering with or controlling the world and all the others to be or not to be in certain way in accordance to one's commands or desires by intimidation or captivation, while being unattached towards all and everything or the duality of 'goodness and badness', transcending the mind perception of a worldly life existence of the limited adjuncts of a selfless impermanent body and restless modification of the mind.

Nothing to loose

Because of fear towards loosing something, one is not free, and would surrender oneself towards any bullying, intimidation or threat coming from somewhere and someone.

Those who have nothing to loose, they are fearless, and there's none and nothing can bully, intimidate or threaten them for anything.

The difference between the two, is the presence or absence of attachment.