is myself. I am happiness. It is within me all the time. It is not
something that I attained from outside. It’s not something to be gained
or learned from the outside. It’s not something that I do or don’t do,
like or don’t like, can do or cannot do. It is beyond happiness and
unhappiness. It is beyond my mind, my intellect, my ego, my senses, my
thoughts, my feelings, my sensations, my body and beyond all the names
and forms that I can perceive with this mind. It is beyond like and
dislike, comfort and discomfort, good and not good. I am content with
wherever I am, not longing to be somewhere else and not attached to be
here either. I can be here or there. I am content with what I am, not
longing to be what’s not me and not attached to be me either. I am not
lack of anything. Not in search for anything. The void or emptiness is
filled up with unlimited love and peace. I don’t feel happy, but I am
happiness. I am one with happiness. It is not separated from me.
Before I realized this, I was still having some unhappiness that I couldn’t let go completely. I was still looking for happiness. I had tasted both happiness and unhappiness. But true happiness is beyond all these momentary happy and unhappy feelings. It is peaceful contentment in me that is undisturbed by all the happenings in my life and in the world. It is beyond any judgments and expectations. It is nothing to do with what my body and mind is experiencing all the time. It is nothing to do with all the good feelings, bad feelings, positive thoughts, negative thoughts, comfortable sensations or discomfortable sensations. Once I am beyond all these momentary impermanent phenomena, peacefulness is there. Love and peace filled up my entire consciousness. Everything is fine.
This happiness is unlimited and unconditioned by all the names and forms that are being projected with all the good and bad qualities by our own mind. I am free, not being determined by the impermanent condition of this body or the state of this mind. I am free, not being determined by what I do and don’t do. I am free, not being determined by what I can do and cannot do. I am free, not being determined by where I am and where I’m not. I am free, not being determined by what I like and don’t like. I am free, not being determined by what this mind perceives and doesn't perceive through the senses.
This is my happiness. I am free.
And who is free?
This selfless continuous stream of thinking.
May you be free too.