'Good friend' vs 'wise company' or Satsanga

People often talk about 'Friends are highly important in life', where 'good friends' are those who are intelligent/educated/knowledgeable enough to inspire one another in those fields, who are like-minded, who are available being there physically/mentally/emotionally 'caring' for one another, to be fun interacting and playing with, to do something 'great' together, to 'help' and 'console' one another or to 'protect' and 'stand up for' one another when it's needed. Some people can't even manage their own existing life problems, but still want to be busy minding other people's or so called friend's ceaseless many kind of 'problems', and ending up bringing more 'problems' into one's life.

People might think and say that "This is what true good friends are, sharing one's another problems. The world is such a wonderful place full of people unhesitating generating all kinds of problem here and there that can be shared by many good friends. Creating problems, sharing problems and standing up for one another indicate that the world is full of love and kindness."

On the path of yoga or Buddhism, a true 'good friend' is a 'wise company' or 'Satsanga' who is not necessarily someone intelligent/educated/knowledgeable to inspire one another in those fields, or being like-minded and being there physically/mentally/emotionally for one another, being fun to interact and play with, but someone who is wise and independent enough to look after oneself by minimizing or not generating unnecessary 'problems'/'inconvenience' in one's life and/or other people's life, where oneself doesn't really 'need' anyone who is like-minded being there physically/mentally/emotionally to be fun to 'interact and play with', or to 'help', 'console', 'protect' and 'stand up for' oneself for anything, as the one who is free from ignorance and egoism, doesn't generate unnecessary 'problems' and knows how not to get involve with other people's unnecessary 'life problem'/'social media related problem'/'relationship problem'/'emotional problem'/'financial problem' that occur due to ignorance, egoism and impurities, while 'selflessly' and 'intentionlessly', one's wisdom and independence might or might not be inspiring others to also be wise and independent to be looking after themselves, by minimizing or stop generating unnecessary 'problems' in one's life and/or other people's life.

Meanwhile, 'Kutsanga' are those so called 'friends' who consume one's time, attention and energy into 'sharing and solving' their unnecessary 'problems' that arise due to ignorance and egoism, as these 'friends', even among the intelligent/educated/knowledgeable group of people, will keep generating 'problems' in their life 'unwittingly' out of ignorance and egoism that 'needed' to be shared by their friends, and cause distraction/obstacle to one's practice for yoga of silencing the modification of the mind. But then this would be perceived as something 'selfish', 'inhuman', or 'wrong' by many passionate people in the world.

Selfless yoga practitioners don't have any intention/aspiration to inspire anyone for anything, while allowing everyone to perceive, react and feel the way as they are.

Whether people would be inspired by someone or something, or not, it's coming from the people themselves perceiving, reacting and feeling being inspired, or not, it's not coming from someone or something being inspiring and has the 'power' to inspire everyone. Most of the time, something really 'good' might appear to be 'uninspiring' for many people, and vice versa.

Compassion manifests along the realization of selflessness, respecting the law of nature, impermanence, cause and effect, while may or may not selflessly/intentionlessly 'guiding' other beings towards the realization of selflessness, wisdom and compassion, be free from ignorance and egoism, though this might appear to be 'inhuman', 'unloving', 'wrong' or 'harsh' for the passionate minds. It's nothing to do with what the passionate minds think and believe as 'The kind of human relationship, interaction and behavior that project loving kindness in certain way' that is unwittingly encouraging and empowering ignorance and egoism in the world.

This teaching is not about one shouldn't have any friends in life. It's about whether the mind is free from ignorance and egoism, or not, especially for those who want to practice yoga and meditation to transcend the mind perception of a worldly life existence of names and forms that is subject to impermanence and selflessness.

The minds that are free from ignorance and egoism, will be friendly towards all and everyone, unconditionally without discrimination of personal likes and dislikes/agreements and disagreements based on particular thinking and belief, appearance, gender, race, nationality, behavior, cultural/religious values and practice, without the 'need' of making and accumulating personal friendships that can share and interact with physically/mentally/emotionally in order to feel good, happy, love, joyful or meaningful, or to be 'healthy' physically/mentally/emotionally. There's no 'friends' or 'not friends' in the minds that are free from ignorance and egoism.

Passionate minds, including health professionals and yoga enthusiasts, cannot comprehend that human beings can be happy and healthy as one is, regardless of whether being interacting or not interacting with some other human beings physically/mentally/emotionally, without suffering from the sense of loneliness, joylessness, meaninglessness, left out or unloved if there's lack of such social interaction.

There's nothing wrong with having a few or many friends in life, but if the mind strongly thinks and believes that having no 'friends' to share, interact or play with, is something bad, wrong, negative, terrible, joyless, meaningless, unhealthy or lonely, then it shows that the mind is not free from ignorance and egoism. If the mind is free from ignorance and egoism, free from egoistic attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion and expectation, then regardless of whether one has none, or a few, or many friends in life, to share, interact and play with physically/mentally/emotionally, there's no difference. This mind is free and peaceful as it is, being undetermined by 'how many (good) friends one has', to be happy, joyful and peaceful, or not. The mind is free from the sense of loneliness/meaninglessness/joylessness/left out/unloved, if 'friends' that can share, interact and play with physically/mentally/emotionally are not available.

The importance of Satsanga, Kutsanga & Asanga in the path of yoga and meditation

There are wise spiritual beings (Satsanga) that can uplift us, help us and guide us in the path of yoga and meditation to evolve towards higher consciousness. These Satsanga will encourage us to immerse in spiritual practice and to move away from worldly passionate activities, such like gossiping, back-biting, slandering, mocking, teasing, greed, craving, clinging, worldly desires and attachments, and building castles in the air...

There are worldly minded beings (Kutsanga) that can pull us down, distract us and move us away from our yoga and meditation practice to evolve towards higher consciousness, especially if we are still being affected very much by the qualities of names and forms, and the energy fields of other people, and we have no strong self-control and non-attachment. These Kutsanga will distract and discourage us from immerse in spiritual practice, and will lead us and encourage us to get involve with more worldly passionate activities which cause great distraction and obstacles.

There is a teaching or advice from our ancient Gurus saying that – If there is no good or wise company (Satsanga), then it is better to be alone (Asanga) than to be with or surrounded by evil company or worldly minded company (Kutsanga).

In the beginning of the path of yoga and meditation, it is very important to choose what type of inputs that are feeding our mind, especially if we have no strong self-control and non-attachment, and are easily being affected and influenced by sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations and thoughts, and being affected and influenced by other people's energy fields, or more precisely, other people's thinking and belief, actions and reactions, values and practice.

Until one day, we have developed strong self-control and non-attachment, and are not being affected or influenced by all these elements and energy fields, then we can mix freely with anyone no matter they have bad influences or negative energy fields. When we are being unaffected and uninfluenced by other people energy fields, we can be truly compassionate to help uplifting other people instead of being pull down by them.

When we still don't have strong self-control and non-attachment, it is not being selfish or arrogant at all to keep away from evil company or worldly minded company. This is being kind and compassionate towards ourselves. To admit that we are not that "strong" yet to be unaffected or influenced by other people's energy fields, and to allow ourselves to have the maximum focus and energy for engaging in self-transformation to be free from ignorance and suffering. Only when we ourselves are free from ignorance and suffering, we can be kind and compassionate towards other beings by helping other beings to evolve and be free from ignorance and suffering. If we ourselves are ignorant and in suffering, how can we guide others to be free from ignorance and suffering?

So, do not feel bad when we have to say "no" and to keep away from certain worldly minded company for the sake of our own spiritual growth, if we are still easily being affected and influenced by other people's energy fields that are Rajasic (restlessness) and Tamasic (idleness). It is a noble and compassionate action to put importance onto looking after ourselves.

When we know what is non-identification with the body and mind, when we are free from attachments, personal desires and expectation, craving and aversion, then we can mix freely with anybody and not being affected and influenced by any elements of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations and thoughts.

The wise foresee troubles, and do not intentionally invite troubles, and will naturally keep away from unnecessary troubles, and are able to focus its attention and energy onto spiritual practice and self-evolution.

The ignorant doesn't foresee troubles, and will invite troubles unwittingly, and will be drawn towards unnecessary troubles, being busy with worldly passions, troubles and worries, and have no interest and energy for spiritual practice.

Om shanti.