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Friday, March 22, 2013

Being strong vs real strength...

We think that we need to be strong, hard and aggressive to protect ourselves from being bullied or hurt by other people... But if we are really that strong, why do we still need to "be" strong, hard and aggressive to "protect" ourselves?

That means we are not really strong. We "pretend" to be strong. This is due to low self-esteem, not trusting ourselves, and need to depend on some external "protection shields" of being hard and aggressive to "protect" or to defend ourselves from potential bullies and hurts. Because of this sense of defensiveness, we will become offensive even before other people try to "bully" or "offend" us. In fact, nobody has the intention to bully us, it is our own fear and projection, thinking that "All these people are going to bully me, and so, I have to defend myself, I need to be strong and aggressive, so that I attack them first before anyone attacks me..."

Those who are truly strong, they don't need to show that they are strong by being hard, aggressive, offensive or defensive. Instead their whole being projects gentleness and calmness.

Real strength comes from compassion and wisdom. It is being compassionate and wise. It is being free from doubts, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, dissatisfaction, disappointment, pride, arrogance, low self-esteem, aggressiveness, violence, offensiveness, defensiveness, agitation, depression, fear, worry, craving, aversion, and attachment towards qualities of names and forms... There is no fear towards other people's harshness, aggressiveness, bully or "potential" bully, offensiveness, arrogance, jealousy, criticism, condemn, slander, unfriendliness, and etc...

We are able to tolerate, adjust, adapt, accommodate, withstand, forbear and accept...

We are able to accept the reality of the present moment now as it is, not necessarily the way that we like it to be. We are able to adjust, adapt, accommodate, withstand and forbear any uncomfortable conditions and situations that we don't like or disagree with...

We are able to perform actions without being influenced by any impurities in the mind. We are able to perform actions to help everyone including ourselves to evolve, to be peaceful and happy...

We are able to perform all our duties and responsibilities without attachment, without judgment, comparison and expectation. We perform actions and renounce from the result or the fruit of actions...

This is real strength.

We don't need to be hard, aggressive, offensive or defensive to "protect" ourselves from getting bully or hurt from anyone...

It doesn't matter what are the behaviors, actions and reactions of other people towards us, it is our own ego doesn't like or disagree with their behaviors, actions and reactions, and feels irritated and unhappy about them. It is our ego that feels that we are weak, but we don't like to be weak and don't want other people to think that we are weak, and so we "pretend" to be strong, by being hard and aggressive to defend ourselves from any potential "attacks" from anyone...

No one can bully or hurt us but our own mind creations of fear. It is our own mind being ignorant and influenced by impurities... It is absence of compassion and wisdom.

Whenever we feel irritated or getting angry about other people's offensive behavior, it is ourselves being defensive... We feel offended by other people's actions and speech... It is coming from being low self-esteem and feel being intimidated by other people's confidence all the time. This intimidation is not coming from other people. No one can intimidate us unless we allow that to happen by being low self-esteem. It is our own low self-esteem thinking that other people are trying to press us down, or bully us, or hurt us... Even if other people have the intention to intimidate us, but it won't affect us if we are truly confident...

If  we don't like other people to contradict with our actions and speech, we like and want other people to agree and support our actions and speech, as we will feel irritated, frustrated and unhappy when other people don't like and disagree with us or our actions and speech, but out of our own offensiveness and defensiveness, we constantly contradict with other people's actions and speech, criticize and attack other people with harsh speech and aggressiveness, then how can we expect other people not to be offended by our own offensiveness and aggressiveness? And when other people feel offended by our own offensiveness and aggressiveness, and react by being aggressive towards us, and we criticize them as "aggressive people" who bully and hurt us, and blame them for causing us painful sorrow and unhappiness?

When we start to attack other people with aggressiveness to show that "I am stronger than you, and I won't let you bully or hurt me...", then make sure that we will take full responsibility towards the consequences of our aggressive behavior... Don't blame other people for being aggressive towards us.

And if there's somebody is being aggressive towards us even though we didn't offend anyone intentionally, we can choose to be gentle and remain calm, and move away... Allow this person to express what he or she wants to express, and let him or her be irritated and unhappy for being aggressive. We don't have to disturb our own peace and happiness by throwing back aggressiveness towards him or her... Or we can choose to feel offended and start to be aggressive and offensive to defend ourselves and be irritated, frustrated and unhappy.

Om shanti.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this :) This is something I really need to work on as I recognised a lot of myself in your words.
    NAMASTE xxxxx


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Know thyself. Everything is impermanent and selfless. There is no 'I'. There is no 'I am selfless'/'I am not selfless'. There is no 'I am hurt'/'I need to be healed from hurt'. Non-blind believing, non-blind following, non-blind practicing and non-blind propagating, but be open-minded to inquire the truth of everything. Be free. Be peaceful. Be happy.

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