Beyond confidence

What make a person truly confident?

Nameless and formless confidence manifests naturally and effortlessly, upon the mind accepts and loves itself unconditionally, as it is. Such mind doesn't need to be confident or portray confidence.

This person doesn't need to show or prove to oneself or the world about, "I am confident."

This person doesn't need any attention, liking, support, agreement, acknowledgement, approval, affirmation, praise, and compliment coming from anyone about, "I am good enough to be confident."

This person doesn't need to be confident, to feel confident, to look confident, or to speak, stand, walk, sit, pose, or present oneself in front of the world confidently, not to say, to attend 'confidence boosting workshop/training', or to be inspired and empowered, to become a highly confident person, or to boost the existing confidence level to become 'more' confident than what it is.

Confidence doesn't come from learning, or training, or pretending.

True confidence doesn't come from desirable physical and mental condition/appearance/abilities/achievements, family or social background, social and financial status, family ties, relationship and friendship, social interaction activities, accumulated knowledge/experience/success/accomplishment, level of education and intelligence, talents or super extraordinary talents, and etc.

Confidence doesn't come from the presence and absence of any particular name and form, not to say, it doesn't come from participating in any kind of confidence empowerment workshop or training.

Confidence doesn't come from thinking, believing, acknowledging, affirming, projecting, and identifying as, "I am super confident."

If a person needs to attend certain kind of confidence empowerment workshop or training, then, no matter how many times and how much one has been undergoing such confidence empowerment training, trying to learn to become confident, to be getting deserving acceptance, appreciation, acknowledgement, recognition, liking, love, praise, and compliment from oneself and all the others about, "Yes. I am now good enough to be accepted and loved by myself and everyone else, and hence, I am a highly confident person," and presents oneself 'confidently' in front of the mirror or to the world based on what the mind thinks and believes as 'confidence', confidence will still be non-existing in this person.

One just need to stop trying to be good and successful enough in order to be able to accept and love oneself, to be proud of oneself, and to make other people to be proud of oneself, or to be 'deserving' to be getting attention, love, liking, support, agreement, acceptance, acknowledgement, recognition, approval, affirmation, praise, and compliment from all and everyone, and unconditional confidence will manifest as it is, naturally and effortlessly.

It's not about being dissatisfied with oneself in this present moment, and trying to become someone else that one is not, but having the self-awareness towards knowing what is one's strength and weakness, working on improving what is possible to be improved, and allowing impermanent changes and improvement to be happening as they are, without attachment, identification, craving, aversion, comparison, judgment, or expectation.

Being confident doesn't mean being strong, or tough, or aggressive.

Confidence doesn't mean that one can do and achieve everything that one would like to do and achieve. It's about one is not being determined or defined by what one can do or cannot do, and can achieve or cannot achieve. One doesn't need to feel and be proud of oneself, and doesn't need other people to feel and be proud of oneself.

When the mind has gone beyond all kinds of qualities of names and forms that are selfless and impermanent, when the mind is no longer being determined by any selfless impermanent quality of names and forms to be "I", or "who/what I am", then, the nameless and formless confidence will be there, as it is, without the mind thinking, believing, acknowledging, affirming, projecting, and identifying as "I am super confident."

Pride and arrogance, shame and humility, or envy and jealousy, don't exist in such mind.

Success and failure, achievement and non-achievement, or superiority and inferiority, mean nothing to such mind.

One is neither lack of confidence (I think I am not good enough and undeserving) nor full of confidence (I think I am good enough and highly deserving).

One is beyond what the worldly passionate egoistic minds think and believe as 'confidence'.

Such mind doesn't admire or look down on anyone.

Such mind doesn't even compare or compete with itself, not to say, to be comparing and competing with anyone else, even when one is actively engaging in certain kind of competitive competition.

Such mind never stop improving itself even when it is resting in contentment and is being comfortable with itself, as it is (NOT because it is discontented with itself, thinking and believing that itself is 'not good enough', or 'never good enough', or 'non-deserving'), and it does its best in whatever it is pursuing, without forcing itself beyond its limitation, without fear, without expectation, and it allows and respects the fruit of action being what it is, being undetermined by the action and the fruit of action.

Inquire towards the truth of everything, and be free.

Acceptance and unconditional loving kindness doesn't mean that one must be engaging in a form of relationship with all and everyone

Some minds misunderstood that acceptance and unconditional loving kindness is about (continuing) to be engaging in a form of relationship/family ties/connection/life sharing or physical and mental interaction with some others (including one's close family members, life partner, relatives and friends), even if there is the presence of certain regular/ongoing/repetitive intentional and random abusive hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction deriving from the disturbed/confused/violent/suffering/restless/offensive/defensive/possessive state of mind under the influence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness, or mental deformity/limitation/illness. Or, in another term, allowing/supporting/empowering/giving opportunities to others to be continuously generating abusive hurtful damaging physical and mental behavior/action/reaction out of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness or disturbed state of mind/mental illness that cause intentional and random hurtful damages/suffering unto oneself and others and the surrounding environment that doesn't belong to anyone, that is evitable, that can be avoided.

The presence/existence of acceptance and unconditional loving kindness in the mind towards all and everyone in this world of selfless impermanent names and forms, is about one is resting in unconditional peace not being disturbed or determined by the ignorance of others. It doesn't mean that this mind needs to be engaging in a form of relationship/family ties/connection/life sharing or physical and mental interaction with all and everyone that are existing selflessly and impermanently in this world that doesn't belong to anyone.

Not engaging in any form of relationship/family ties/connection/life sharing or physical and mental interaction with anyone, it doesn't mean that acceptance and unconditional loving kindness is absent/non-existing in the mind. It doesn't mean that one doesn't or cannot accept/respect/love and be kind to others unconditionally for being what they are, as they are.

Acceptance and unconditional loving kindness, where oneself has the correct understanding that allows oneself to accept/respect/love and be kind towards all beings/minds as they are, that gives rise to unconditional peace in oneself under the presence of non-discrimination/non-aversion/non-violence/non-judgment/non-interference (the absence of discrimination/aversion/violence/judgment/interference) towards all the other beings/minds that are functioning/thinking/reasoning/understanding/feeling/desiring/behaving/acting/reacting under the influence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness, or mental deformity/limitation/illness, it doesn't mean that one should (continuing) be engaging in a form of relationship/family ties/connection/life sharing or physical and mental interaction with all the others (including one's existing close family members, life partner, relatives and friends), that involve(s) certain regular/ongoing/repetitive intentional and random abusive hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction deriving from the disturbed/confused/violent/suffering/restless/offensive/defensive/possessive state of mind, or mental deformity/limitation/illness.

One has the freedom of choice to move away from such beings/minds as much as possible, to NOT allowing/supporting/empowering/giving opportunities to these beings/minds to be continuously generating abusive hurtful damaging physical and mental behavior/action/reaction out of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness/disturbed state of mind/mental illness that cause intentional and random hurtful damages/suffering unto oneself and others and the surrounding environment that doesn't belong to anyone.

One is not being disturbed or determined by the hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction of the others, understanding that all those beings/minds that are behaving/acting/reacting in a hurtful damaging way towards themselves/others/the surrounding environment is due to the presence of ignorance/mental illness, while respecting/allowing all beings/minds to be what they are, as they are, without discrimination/aversion/violence/judgment/interference towards all those beings/minds that are functioning/thinking/reasoning/understanding/feeling/desiring/behaving/acting/reacting under the influence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness, or mental deformity/limitation/illness, but one doesn't need to be staying/standing there, not moving away from such beings/minds and their intentional and random abusive hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction.

More importantly, one is free from the influence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness, where one has the clarity of thinking and peace in the mind deriving from the presence of correct understanding (the absence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness or mental illness), and hence, one doesn't behave/act/react in a hurtful damaging way that hurt oneself and others and the surrounding environment that doesn't belong to anyone.

Even if one is aware of oneself is inevitably functioning under the influence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness, or is suffering from certain kind of mental deformity/limitation/illness, it's okay, be kind to oneself, accept that this mind is not perfect, that it is unwell, while without discrimination, aversion, or judgment towards oneself (the selfless mind) that is unwell, but, under the presence of certain degrees of precious self-awareness (being aware of the state of oneself/the state of mind, or what is going on in the modification of one's mind), being aware of oneself might be behaving/acting/reacting in certain way that would cause hurtful damaging consequences unto oneself and/or others, that is evitable, that can be avoided, this mind can have self-initiative and self-effort to start looking after the well-being of itself (the selfless thinking faculty or the selfless perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking and acting mind), so that this mind would minimize or avoid hurting oneself and/or others.

One doesn't and cannot interfere with all the others being what they are, as they are, or control/discipline/transform the others to be or not to be in certain way, but one can have self-awareness, self-control, self-initiative, self-effort, self-discipline, and determination, to be undergoing self-transformation or mind purification process (changing one's mind's behavior pattern, or modifying/quieting the modification of one's mind, or thinning-out/annihilating ignorance, egoism, impurities and restlessness in the mind), or even, attaining the ultimate direct self-realization towards the truth of selflessness.

However, many minds, including those that are highly educated, talented, intelligent, knowledgeable, and so called highly successful, accomplished, influential, and powerful in this world, might have lost or don't have that certain degrees of essential self-awareness, of knowing what is going on in themselves, where the mind is completely ignorant towards the presence of ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness/mental illness in themselves, where one doesn't have the clarity of thinking and peace in the mind, being over-powered by the intense ignorance/egoism/impurities/restlessness or mental deformity/limitation/illness, and hence, one would constantly behave/act/react in a hurtful damaging way that hurt oneself and others and the surrounding environment that doesn't belong to anyone, either intentionally or randomly. The ongoing and endless unrest, selfishness, greed, discrimination, exploitation, violence, self-harm, harm others, and cruelty in the world that doesn't belong to anyone, is a reflection of the existence of many minds that are unwell.

Be understanding and be kind towards all these disturbed restless suffering minds, by not being disturbed or determined by these minds and their disturbing hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction, by NOT allowing/supporting/empowering/giving opportunities to these minds to continuously generate hurtful damaging behavior/action/reaction unto oneself by moving away from these minds as much as possible, while allowing them to be aware of what is going on in themselves, or not, and whether they will help and look after themselves, or not. As none can remove the ignorance/suffering for another, not even one's close family members/life partner/relatives/friends, but only by oneself through one's own self-awareness, freewill, self-initiative, self-effort, self-control, self-discipline, and determination.

The sincere yoga practitioners renounced all kinds of worldly relationships/family ties/connections/interactions, including the non-problematic ones, not to say, relationships/family ties/connections/interactions that involves intentional and random abusive hurtful damaging behavior, in order to be looking after the over-all well-being of oneself, before one can help those that one loves and cares very much, that also need to know how to help themselves and look after the over-all well-being of themselves.

That's why don't wait until the mind loses that certain degrees of precious self-awareness. One must be able to help oneself, as none can help oneself if one loses or doesn't have the basic ability/awareness to help oneself, even if help from others is always available.

Upon attaining direct self-realization towards the truth of selflessness, a.k.a timelessness, oneness, non-separateness, namelessness, formlessness, attributelessness, birthlessness, and deathlessness, all kinds of myths, fairy tales, white lies, or superstitions created by the minds that were/are functioning under the veil of ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness, with the intention to sow fear and temptation in other minds, to be tempting, threatening, intimidating, exploiting, bullying, and oppressing other minds, in order to gain certain power of control towards other minds to be or not to be in certain way in accordance to their own selfish desires and don't desires, regardless of whether it's within a family or a community, will all dissolve and disappear from the mind.

Such mind is fearless and peaceful as it is, regardless of the existence of all kinds of man made madness in this world, while respecting the law of nature and all kinds of selfless impermanent changes as they are, devoid of the idea of 'I' and the egoistic attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, or expectation. That is liberation.

Inquire the truth of everything, and be free.

It's one's own responsibility towards all one's actions and reactions

"It's you and your actions, that is responsible for the state of my mind, that is responsible for why I feel disturbed, hurt, disappointed, and angry, as well as be responsible for why and how I react with damaging and hurtful behavior towards you out of my disturbed, hurt, disappointed, and angry state of mind that is caused by you and your actions. You need to be responsible for your actions. You are responsible for the state of my mind. My mind is in a state of disturbance, hurt, disappointment, and anger, as well as my violent hurtful actions and reactions towards you and your actions, is all due to you and your actions."

Inquire towards this common understanding and reaction of the many minds in this world, where the minds react and feel disturbed, hurt, disappointed, and angry, upon coming in contact with certain actions/reactions/expressions/speech/behaviors of some others that the mind perceives and recognizes as disturbing, hurtful, disappointing, or anger deserving, that it thinks and believes as what is responsible for the reactions from the others.

It's true that all and everyone is responsible for one's own actions and the consequences of one's actions.

But one must also understand that one's own reactions, or how oneself (chooses to) reacts towards the actions and reactions of the others and their consequences, or towards whatever one perceives and experiences, it's also one's own responsibility.

All and everyone are responsible for their own actions and reactions, as well as the consequences of all that.

It's one's own freedom of choice under the influence of one's own understanding and non-understanding, towards all one's actions and reactions, and be responsible for the consequences of that, as well as be responsible towards the states of one's mind.

It's one's own freedom of choice and responsibility towards how oneself wants to act and react in certain way, or not, towards whatever oneself comes in contact with, or perceives and experiences.

It's one's own freedom of choice and responsibility towards one's way of thinking, belief and disbelief, understanding and non-understanding, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, acceptance and non-acceptance, desires and don't desires, action and non-action, reaction and non-reaction, and feel or don't feel (the restless modifications of one's mind), as well as towards the consequences of all that.

It's one's own freedom of choice and responsibility towards whether oneself wants to free one's mind from ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness, or not.

Different minds act, and react differently towards the same name and form, experience, affair, event, condition, or situation, under the influence of the many different ways of thinking, belief and disbelief, understanding and non-understanding, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, acceptance and non-acceptance, desires and don't desires, and feel or don't feel.

It is not the particular name and form, experience, affair, event, condition, or situation, has certain quality that is determining how all minds should act and react in certain way, or not.

The mind that understands this, it understands that all the minds that have such common (incorrect) understanding and reaction, it's because these minds are functioning under the influence of ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness, or under the absence of correct understanding.

The mind that understands this, it won't be disturbed or determined by the different actions and reactions of all and everyone, and the consequences of all that. All and everyone has the freedom and responsibility towards the states of themselves (their states of mind), towards their modifications of mind, and towards all their actions and reactions under the influence of their own understanding and non-understanding.

The minds that would act and react in the way that is violent, damaging, and hurtful towards oneself and others, it's because they are not well. They are ill (mentally unwell). These are the minds that would be disturbed, hurt, disappointed, or angry by the disagreeable/unpleasant/damaging/hurtful actions and reactions of some other minds that are also unwell, that are restless/peaceless, that are ignorant, that are in suffering, due to the presence of ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness.

Why would a mind that understands this, that is devoid of ignorance and egoism, would be disturbed, hurt, disappointed, or angry by the actions and reactions of the many minds in this world that are unwell, that are restless/peaceless, that are ignorant, that are in suffering, that are acting and reacting in the way that is damaging and hurtful towards oneself and others, due to the presence of ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness in themselves?

Why would someone who has correct understanding be angry with a stone or a wall that is there being what it is, that oneself ran into and got hurt, while intentionally hurting oneself further more by kicking and punching the stone or the wall, out of anger and hurt, in order to revenge?

Meanwhile, one can choose to act in certain way, or not, in this world, without being disturbed or determined by the ignorant actions and reactions of the others.

"A's action and reaction is A's own freedom of choice and responsibility. B's action and reaction towards A's action and reaction is B's own freedom of choice and responsibility."

Before the mind realizes the truth of selflessness and impermanence, or when the mind is still functioning under the presence of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness, then the states of mind is autonomously being influenced/determined by the influential energy fields and elements (Gunas) that fuel the selfless existence and function of the mind, or be determined and disturbed by the selfless mind perception of names and forms perceived through the senses, of whatever the mind comes in contact with, perceives, or experiences. But, the mind can transcend all that, under the absence of the idea of 'I' and attachment, and no longer be influenced/determined/disturbed by all that, including the different energy fields a.k.a states of mind, that are selfless and impermanent, through annihilating the veil of ignorance, the idea of 'I', egoism, impurities, and restlessness, by quieting and silencing the restless selfless modifications of the mind.

That is the true and highest freedom, knowledge, and power.

That is liberation.

Inquire the truth of everything, and be free.

Self love and self care

Self love and self care is commonly being understood as focusing on making oneself more happy or less unhappy by doing what will make oneself feel good and happy, or avoiding what will make oneself feel bad and unhappy, as well as pampering oneself in all kinds of pleasurable material and sensual enjoyments, or gratifying all one's desires of craving and aversion, empowering selfishness, ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness.

Self love and self care in the teachings and practice of yoga, is not about that, but it's about being able to have the self-initiation and self-effort to be looking after the over-all physical and mental well-being of oneself while still having certain degrees of basic essential awareness and sanity, by working diligently to be freeing one's mind from ignorance, egoism, impurities, and restlessness, to annihilate the idea of 'I', attachment, identification, desires of craving and aversion, expectation, greed, pride, selfishness, possessiveness, separateness, discrimination, fear, anger, and hatred, to be attaining mental and emotional independence, where the selfless perceptive cognitive intellectual emotional thinking mind is no longer being determined by the mind perception towards all kinds of selfless and impermanent names and forms, experiences, ties and connections, relationships, interactions, activities, affairs, events, conditions, or situations, that are pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, desirable or undesirable, and enjoyable or non-enjoyable, transcending duality, or the sense of goodness and badness, righteousness and wrongfulness, happiness and unhappiness, joyfulness and joylessness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, positiveness and negativeness, success and failure, pride and shame, deserving and undeserving, pleasurable enjoyment and painful suffering, and etc.

One needs to be able to be kind towards oneself unconditionally (stops hurting oneself/the body and the mind) before one can truly be kind towards all and everyone unconditionally, without discrimination, attachment, or expectation (stops hurting all and everyone out of a disturbed/peaceless/fearful/defensive/violent/confused/ignorant/discontented/ambitious impure restless state of mind).

To be kind towards oneself, is about the selfless mind is being able to accept itself as it is unconditionally, or accepting the condition of the physical body and the state of the modification of the mind, that are selfless and impermanent, as they are, unconditionally.

Only when the mind can accept itself as it is unconditionally, or respecting all the selfless impermanent changes in the body and mind as it is, or accepting the perceived reality in the present moment now as they are, then only it can accept all and everyone as they are, and respecting the world as it is, unconditionally.

Only when the mind is able to look after itself, or is able to be resting in unconditional peace, then only it can have the ability to look after some others.

Inquire the truth of everything.