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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Misconception towards self-love or self-compassion

Self-love or self-compassion is related to being self-centered in yoga.

While self-centered is being referred as selfishness and self-obsessiveness by certain worldly thinking and belief as pampering oneself with pleasurable enjoyments, laziness, and fulfilling all selfish desires at any cost, even if it would cause harmful consequences in oneself and others.

There's nothing wrong if people want to be selfish and lazy, it's everyone's freedom for what they want to do with their life. It's just that those who are selfish and lazy, but can't help feeling guilty for being selfish and lazy, would feel better by justifying to themselves and others that they are practicing self-love or self-compassion.

In the teachings of yoga, being self-centered has nothing to do with self-obsessiveness/self-pampering/laziness/selfishness. It's about being centered in the truth of selflessness (the state that is neither selfishness nor unselfishness, where there's no idea of 'I' to be identifying as selfish or unselfish), performing all duties and responsibilities without being influenced or determined by the action and the fruit of action, and being compassionate towards the suffering in one's mind and other minds without being influenced, or disturbed, or determined by the suffering and the cause of suffering, which is ignorance and egoism, as well as all sort of impurities, thinking, belief, behavior, values and expectation that are under the influence of ignorance and egoism. It's nothing to do with self-pampering with enjoyments and laziness and the fulfillment of all selfish desires.

Self-compassion is about being persevered and determined to free one's mind from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

Being compassionate doesn't mean that sacrificing oneself in pursue of helping others or making others happy. None can make another happy. When others are happy it's because their desires of craving and aversion are being gratified by giving them what they like and want, and don't give them what they don't like and don't want. It's the ego that thinks and desire, 'I' am good and happy when 'I' can make others happy. It's about doing one best performing action that might help others to realize happiness through their own effort and understanding, without forcing oneself beyond one's limitation and be able to let go without guilt or regret, if one couldn't help as much as it can be. None can't help those who enjoy being ignorant and swimming in the ocean of suffering, who are reluctant to help themselves, but only complain about all sorts of dissatisfaction or unhappiness, and expect sympathy, comfort and help from others to gratify all their desires of craving and aversion.

The thinking of "I am not good enough to help or make others happy, and thus, I am not compassionate," and "I will be happy if others are happy, and I will be unhappy if others are unhappy," is due to the egoism of attachment, identification, judgment and expectation out of ignorance. It's nothing to do with compassion.

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About Yoga

Know thyself. Everything is impermanent and selfless. There is no 'I'. There is no 'I am selfless'/'I am not selfless'. There is no 'I am hurt'/'I need to be healed from hurt'. Non-blind believing, non-blind following, non-blind practicing and non-blind propagating, but be open-minded to inquire the truth of everything. Be free. Be peaceful. Be happy.

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