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Friday, April 17, 2015

Addicted to anger and bitterness...

Some people don't like to be angry and bitter, and want to be free from anger and bitterness.

While some people seem to enjoy being angry and bitter from time to time, and have no interest to stop being angry and bitter.

Anger and bitterness can be addictive. Just like most minds are addicted to being busy seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching and thinking, they have to be engaging in some sorts of mental or physical activities, or else they will feel very uncomfortable and irritated. Like fish out of water. After being in a silent meditation retreat for a few days observing all the disciplines of the silent retreat, the mind will want to runaway, thinking "What am I doing here? Wasting my time. I better off going back to the outside world doing something that I like to do..."

Some people don't feel good or comfortable, if their minds are not having certain degrees of tension for some time.

The mind is already used to certain degrees of tension occupying the mind. The mind feels comfortable having certain degrees of tension that it familiars with.

The mind doesn't know how to allow itself to be in a relaxed state, without any tension arise in the mind. The mind identifies the relaxed state of mind without any tension as boredom or void. And this makes the mind feels anxious, or out of control about everything and whatever situation that it is encountering. The mind prefers to be in a state of tension as it makes the mind feels safe and comfortable, or be in control and feels good about itself.

By being angry and bitter can generate a particular type of sensation/tension which the mind is craving for, or addicted to.

Due to impermanence, when the anger and bitterness towards something or someone is lessening or fading away from the mind, the mind will start looking for some other objects to be the target for the mind to be angry and bitter at. The mind doesn't feel comfortable if anger and bitterness is absent in the mind. This behavior pattern of the mind exists in those who have the habits of fault finding, moaning, grumbling, back-biting, arguing, criticizing and condemning.

The mind actually takes pleasure in the tension or sensation that come from anger and bitterness. Just like certain people take pleasure in self-harm, and they won't feel good and satisfied unless they induce self-harm onto themselves.

If we are aware of our mind keeps falling into a state of anger and bitterness quite frequently from time to time, while knowing that anger and bitterness is unhealthy for the body and mind, but still it wants to be in a state of anger and bitterness, then know that our mind could be addicted to anger and bitterness.

We think that there is something or someone that we don't like or disagree with that inflicts the anger and bitterness in us. We think that our existing life problems and unhappiness are the responsibility of something or somebody, but not 'I'.

Actually it's our own mind finds pleasure in anger and bitterness, and keeps looking for something and someone to be a target for the mind to express anger and bitterness to satisfy the craving for certain tension or sensation.

No one can free another being from this ignorance and suffering. It has to come from self-realization of what is going on in the mind and understanding the behavior pattern of the mind, and willingly want to get out from the behavior pattern of the mind, or stop all the madness.

Om shanti.

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About Yoga

Know thyself. Everything is impermanent and selfless. There is no 'I'. There is no 'I am selfless'/'I am not selfless'. There is no 'I am hurt'/'I need to be healed from hurt'. Non-blind believing, non-blind following, non-blind practicing and non-blind propagating, but be open-minded to inquire the truth of everything. Be free. Be peaceful. Be happy.

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