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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Misconception towards self-love or self-compassion

Self-love or self-compassion is related to being self-centered in yoga.

While self-centered is being referred as self-obsessiveness by certain worldly thinking and belief as pampering oneself with enjoyments and laziness and fulfilling all desires at any cost, even if it would cause harmful damages in oneself and others.

There's nothing wrong if people want to be selfish and lazy, it's everyone's freedom for what they want to do with their life. It's just that those who are selfish and lazy, but can't help feeling guilty for being selfish and lazy, would feel better by justifying to themselves and others that they are practicing self-love or self-compassion.

In the teachings of yoga, being self-centered has nothing to do with self-obsessiveness/self-pampering/laziness. It's about being centered in the truth of selflessness (the state that is void of selfishness or unselfishness), performing all duties and responsibilities without being influenced or determined by the action and the fruit of action, and being compassionate towards the suffering in one's mind and others without being influenced, or disturbed, or determined by the suffering and the cause of suffering, which is ignorance and egoism, as well as all sort of impurities, thinking, belief, behavior, values and expectation that are under the influence of ignorance and egoism. It's nothing to do with self-pampering with enjoyments and laziness and the fulfillment of all desires.

Self-compassion is being persevered and determined to free one's mind from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

Being compassionate doesn't mean that sacrificing oneself in pursue of helping others or making others to be happy. None can make another to be happy. When others are happy it's because their desires of craving and aversion are being gratified by giving them what they like and want, and don't give them what they don't like and don't want. It's the ego thinking that 'I' am good and happy when 'I' can make others to be happy. It's about doing one best performing action without forcing oneself beyond limitation and be able to let go without guilt or regret, if one couldn't help as much as one would like to help. None can't help those who enjoy being ignorant and swimming in the pool of suffering, who are reluctant to help themselves, but only complain about all sorts of dissatisfaction and expect sympathy and help from others to gratify all their desires of craving and aversion.

The thinking of "I am not good enough to help or make others to be happy, and thus, I am unable to be compassionate and I am unhappy because others are unhappy." is due to the egoism of attachment, identification, judgment and expectation out of ignorance. It's nothing to do with compassion.

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My husband and I run ongoing yoga retreats in Langkawi Malaysia. We teach traditional Hatha Yoga - a combination of Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breathing techniques) and relaxation, that has given benefit to millions of practitioners over thousands of years. Our yoga studio is situated in Langkawi. We also run yoga retreats in Europe and India.

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